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Chuck vs. White Lies

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"Ok, Chuck," Sarah said as soon as the bedroom door closed behind them. "Something's wrong. Please tell me."

"I'm not sure what you mean." Chuck replied trying not to catch Sarah's eye.

"Come on, Chuck," Sarah whispered. "You make this big deal about me coming over for Christmas and when I do, you haven't said ten words all day. Do you really think I can't tell when something is wrong? Even Ellie asked me what was bothering you."

"So," Chuck said with a sigh. "That's why you dragged me into the bedroom?"

"Are you sorry that you gave me this bracelet?" Sarah said softly trying to blink back her tears while looking at the floor. "I know that was a big step for you. Do you want it back?"

"Of course not,"

"Chuck, it's ok. I'll understand. Maybe we're not ready."

"Sarah, stop." Chuck said as he exhaled a frustrated breath. "It has nothing to do with the bracelet. I'm happy that I gave it to you. I want you to have it. It means a lot to me."

"Then what…" Sarah started.

"I saw you, ok?" Chuck blurted out so loudly that he was concerned that Ellie could hear him through the door.

"I saw you shoot him." Chuck continued as he lowered his voice. "Why would you lie to me about something like that?"

"I'm sorry that I lied to you." Sarah said sadly.

"How can I trust you when you lie to me?" Chuck said sadly as it was his turn to look at the floor.

"I don't know." Sarah said angrily in a hushed voice. "You tell me. Are you saying that you would never lie to me?"

"Never," Chuck whispered as he looked into Sarah's eye.

"Really," Sarah asked skeptically. "If Ellie told you that she didn't like the casserole that I brought for dinner today and I asked you about it later. Would you tell me that Ellie didn't like it?"

"Come on," Chuck whispered sharply. "That's not the same at all. You're comparing a casserole with shooting someone?"

"Of course it is." Sarah said just as sharply. "I agree that one is more important than the other but they are exactly the same. You would lie to me about something that didn't really matter to save my feelings. Am I right?"

"I guess."

"Does that mean that I can't trust you?" Sarah said firmly. "There is a difference between trust and truth. To be totally truthful, I just told you another lie. I told you I was sorry. The truth is I'm not sorry. I lied to you to protect you. I lied because I lov… um… because I care for you."

Chuck opened his mouth to respond but no words came.

"You can trust me." Sarah continued softly as she unfastened the bracelet from her wrist. "You can trust that I'm looking out for you. That I have your best interest at heart. And that means I'll be willing to do a lot of bad things. I'll kill anybody who tries to hurt you. I'll put aside my own feelings to keep you safe. And I'll even lie to you to protect you when I think that's the right thing to do."

Chuck just nodded as tears began to fill his eyes.

"So," Sarah said as she handed Chuck the bracelet. "I think that you need to hold on to this for a while. We're not ready."

"Actually," Chuck said with a sad smile. "You're wrong. I think we are totally ready. I trust you."

"No you don't." Sarah said as she shook her head. "Because if you trusted me, you would never have been in a position to see me shoot him last night. You would have been running back to the Buy More like I asked you too. If you trusted me, you would have left when we came to take you back to Castle."

"I trust you." Chuck insisted.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked softly. "In the world that we're in right now, trust is a hard thing. There are some tough realities. And while I'm trying to shield you from them as best I can, you're bound to see some things that are going to mess you up. Things that make you question your core beliefs."

"I trust you." Chuck said softly as he looked directly into Sarah's eyes. "I trust that you're looking out for me. I trust that you'll kick my butt, like you just did, when I need it. And I trust you to forgive me when I screw up, like I just did."

Sarah smiled as she held out her arm for Chuck to put on the bracelet.

"And especially," Chuck said with a grin as he fastened the bracelet. "I trust you to tell me how you really feel the second that you can."

"Now you're just reaching." Sarah said with a laugh. "I trust that you'll run the next time I tell you too."

"I even trust you that you won't be pissed at me for this." Chuck said as he put his hand behind Sarah's head and pulled her in for a kiss. Sarah was too surprised to react at first but after a moment she grabbed Chuck's hair and pulled him in hungrily. The kiss, or more accurately, series of kisses lasted a long moment.

"I trust that you will stop teasing Casey so much." Sarah said with her eyes sparkling as soon as the kiss broke.

"Yea," Chuck said. "Well I trust that the next time we have to sleep together that we…"

"That's not trust." Sarah interrupted with a laugh as she slapped Chuck playfully. "That sounds more like a prayer."

"Hey," Chuck responded with his own laugh. "Prayers get answered all the time."

"We'll see." Sarah whispered, suddenly serious. "Keep praying. Ok?"

Chuck nodded.

"Merry Christmas, Chuck," Sarah whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Sarah."

"I trust that you'll stay in the car." Sarah said with a smile after a moment's pause.

"Now who's praying?" Chuck replied as he bumped shoulders with Sarah causing her to stumble a bit.

"I trust that you'll not ask me embarrassing question about my past."

"I trust that you're going to spend the rest of the day snuggled with me on the couch."

"I trust…"

- - - -

The End