A/N: Um. I can't speak Swiss German. So when Konan speaks German in the fic? It's a horribly butchered, stereotypical attempt at Swiss German. Should any Swiss people read this, I beg you not to be offended by my infinite amounts of fail.
Also, before you go yelling at me about how weak Hidan is in this chapter, keep in mind that he isn't a ninja and has never been trained to fight.
To Entangled – Schadenfreude is a Germanism which is used in the English language as well. Roughly, it means "to be happy about someone else's misfortune", or "malicious joy".
You can sit beside me when the world comes down
– Bern, Switzerland, 12 June 2009, 14:59 o'clock --
Hidan frowned at his mirror image, fingering his hair. God damn it, those bastards sure had fucked with it at the hospital – usually he kept it long enough to gel back and fall into his neck, but now he had uneven, messy strands of silver falling to his ears at the longest.
Bastards. Did they have a clue how long it took Hidan to find the one guy who was good at cutting his hair to his satisfaction?
He muttered some curse words in German as he splashed some water onto his hair to try to slick it back somehow. Today, Konan had said, she would take him shopping to get him some clothes and other things he'd need and the German seriously dreaded it – he felt the need to punch her in the face every time she spoke with her annoying Swiss dialect. Just out of spite, he made sure to use his local dialect instead of speaking "proper" German whenever he was with the blue-haired female.
Itachi was the one who lent him clothes since they were about the same height and weight, and it wasn't that Hidan wasn't grateful, but Itachi's style of clothes fucking sucked. Did he have anything other than plain pants and shirts? Hidan much preferred his old baggy jeans, stylish shirts and big hoodies.
Somebody knocked on the door to the bathroom and Hidan innerly groaned. "Was?" [What?]
"Das Mittagessen ist fertig." [Lunch is ready.]
"Was gibt's denn?" [What are we having?]
"Irgendwas mit Rüebli und Nüsslisalat." [Something with carrots and field salad.]
"Rüebli und –" [Carrots and - ]
"Das hab ich schon verstanden." The silver-haired boy unlocked the door and opened it, glaring at Konan, who stared at him coolly. "Kannste nich ma hochdeutsch sprechen ey? Das heißt Karotten und Feldsalat!" [I understood that much. Can't ya speak normal German? It's called carrots and field salad!]
The blue-haired woman snorted. "Pass dich an." [Adapt.] And with that, she was gone.
Tobi sighed wistfully, pouting. "It's going to be so boring here without you, Deidara-senpai."
The blond sent him an annoyed look, packing the last of his clothes into a big army rucksack. "Stop being such a drama queen, hmm. I'm only going on a mission with Sasori."
"But the others are so boring!"
Deidara huffed, closing the bag. "This isn't supposed to be fun, yeah! We're a terrorist organisation, Tobi, not Disneyland!"
The Japanese teen blinked. "But Deidara-senpai, you always have fun on your missions."
"…Get your ass out of here before I blow you up, yeah."
As much as Hidan disliked Konan, he had to admit that she had good taste. Or at least that's what he thought when she presented him with a suitcase full of clothes – brand clothes at that!
Having grown up in a not-so-wealthy family, this was probably the first time Hidan held Diesel jeans and a Rolex watch in his hands, and damn did it feel awesome.
"The suitcase also contains your new passport, different IDs you can use if you need one, a driver's license -"
"Uh, I never learned to drive. It's fucking expensive in Germany."
"We'll teach you when we've reached London."
"What the fuck? But they drive on the wrong side of the road!"
"You will learn both ways." She brushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "Anyway – two cellphones, money in various currencies - "
Hidan fished a brand new brown leather wallet out of the suitcase and opened it, pulling out different kinds of cards. "There's a misprint. My last name isn't Bösherz; it's Vogel."
Konan rolled her amber eyes. "It's not a misprint. From now on, your name is Hidan Bösherz. We can't let you run around with the name of a dead boy, can we?"
"Everyone is gathered? Very well." Pain let his gaze wander around the room, studying each of the organisation members briefly. "Deidara and Sasori are going on a mission in Russia. We have finally found out who the head of a Russian governmental organisation targeting us is. His name is Gaara Ivanov. I do not accept failure."
"Zetsu, Tobi. I need you to do some research in Johannesburg. Konan will brief you in a few days."
"Kakuzu, go back to Bogotá. There's a deal I don't want you to miss."
"Kisame, Itachi, you are without a mission for now. Use your free time efficiently."
"And Hidan, you are coming with me."
Hidan frowned at Pain, confused. "Okay."
Hidan had never been on a plane before; scratch that, he hadn't even been at an airport before.
He wasn't scared of flying though – not now that he knew he was immortal. He couldn't care less about what happened to him anymore – he'd survive it all, and if he was patient enough , he'd be able to get out of any dilemma.
Even out of this organisation.
He stared out of the window as the plane took off, sitting next to Konan. That Pain guy wasn't with them; Hidan didn't really care. It wasn't as if he understood him anyway.
A flight attendant came to offer them food and drinks, which Konan politely refused. Hidan watched her long legs and nicely shaped bottom when she walked on, earning him a glare from Konan.
"Stop staring. It's impolite."
Hidan rolled his eyes. "Chill. I was just looking."
"I thought you had a girlfriend back home."
Hidan snorted. "That bitch? I was going to break up with her before the accident."
Accident. Hidan mentally rolled his eyes; what a weird thing to call a terrorist attack.
Konan glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Your mother said she was quite sweet."
"Cheaters aren't sweet. Especially when they can't tell you the truth." Regarding the conversation as over, Hidan fished out his mp3 player from the pocket of his pants and put the earphones in his ears, turning up the volume.
London, England, 14 June 2009, 15:08 o'clock
When they landed in London, it was raining. After they got their luggage and got picked up by a very nice looking black BMW, it was still raining. The whole drive long, Hidan heard the drizzle of the rain against the car roof and watched the raindrops run down the window.
"Fuck," he muttered, glaring at the scenery passing his window. They had long left the city behind; houses were becoming a rarer and rarer sight. He hated the countryside with a passion; he was an urban kid through and through. He loved the traffic, the noise, the people, the hecticness.
Konan had been busy with a laptop, typing away as if it was all she did, her long fingernails clacking on the keys. It annoyed the shit out of Hidan.
"I'm thirty," he announced in a pointedly whiny voice. "Are we there yet?"
She completely ignored him.
Fuck this. Let brand clothes be brand clothes, everyone in this organisation acted like a fucking prick. He was just about to ask again when the car suddenly came to a halt.
"We have arrived, Miss Acklin."
Hidan immediately got out of the car, not minding the rain too much at that moment, and found himself standing in the courtyard of a medium-sized mansion. He half-expected lightening to illuminate it for a split second, because really, it did look like one of those mansions from horror movies.
As it was, though, there was no lightning or thunder. Just that fucking rain pouring from the sky as if the apocalypse was coming. Men in suits – butlers? – came up to them, holding umbrellas over them and getting their luggage.
"Welcome to Rain Mansion, " said a small woman with orange hair that she wore in a bun on top of her head. Her eyes had eerie grey rings in them, reminding Hidan of that Pain guy from earlier. "I will show you to your room, Mr Bösherz."
"This will be your room for the next few months." Konan opened the door and switched the light on. It was only dim, Hidan quickly realized. Damn. "I am only a few doors down, but I won't be here at Rain Mansion much. You will be training with Pain and studying English for a while. When Pain thinks you're ready, you will be sent to Kakuzu."
"Whatever." Hidan glared at her. "As long as I don't have to hear your annoying way of talking anymore."
She ignored his comment completely, as always. "Pain wants to see you after dinner. A butler will fetch you."
"Are you sure it's good for him to be here?" Konan took a sip of her tea. "Kakuzu might be better fit to train him, since they will be partners."
"Hidan is special." The orange-haired woman regarded Konan impassively. "I will be testing his threshold of pain and train him to bear immense pain. An immortal is of no use if his pain tolerance is the same as that of a normal person."
Konan nearly dropped her teacup. "Nagato, if you do that, you are going to completely break him. That is what we were trying to save him from."
"There is a difference. We are going to toughen him." The orange-haired woman's eyes narrowed slightly. "Konoha made him a will-less doll. When I am finished with him, he might not be normal anymore, but he will still have his own will."
"He killed his own conscious to escape reality. That is what we were told." Konan closed her eyes, not wanting to look at the other woman. "It is like for Itachi – he was dead, but now that he is alive, he suffers. Being dead might have been better."
"You dare to question my methods?"
"…No, of course not."
Hidan did not feel comfortable in his new room; the walls were of a pure white, the sheets on his queensize bed were white, his desk made of glass and metal and the carpet of a dark blue. There were two windows with white curtains and no blinds, but he guessed that the room would be pretty dark anyway considering the weather outside.
There was no form of entertainment; no gaming system, no TV, no computer, no stereo. Perhaps he should ask Pain at least for stereo so he could listen to music more loudly than through his ipod.
While there was no wardrobe, he found a walk-in closet with a rack and started unpacking, being careful not ruin the expensive clothes. He still couldn't believe it – all those brands he'd been wanting…
Eventually, a butler came to pick him up, led him to the dining room and announced what would be for dinner. The only other persons at the table were Konan and that orange-haired woman.
"Heh," Hidan smirked. "Knew the ladies can't resist me."
"Don't even go there," Konan mumbled, "it's necrophilia." Seeing Hidan's confused face, she sighed. "Nevermind."
The rest of dinner passed in silence; Hidan poked at the strange things on his plate in confusion, Konan ate quietly and that orange-haired woman stared blankly. Hidan felt more than a little creeped out by her. So he tried his best to remember some English and glared at her. "Stop looking."
She smirked at him, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Scared?"
He looked at Konan for translation help, but all she did was ignore him. Again. It was seriously getting annoying. And so, he raked his brain for some kind of comeback he could say in English. "Your Mom."
The smirk left her face. "My mom is dead."
"What, your Mom is your Dad?" Hidan frowned. "That's fucked up."
Now even Konan stared at him, her dull expression for once left her face, making room for confusion. "…I don't even want to know. But stop messing with Pain."
Hidan paused. "Wait, that's…? But Pain was a guy!"
"He is. And he's also that girl over there. You'll be meeting more Pains soon."
"Great," Hidan complained sarcastically, "just what I need, seriously."
"Finish your food," Pain commanded him, "I want to start with the training."
She took him to a room in the basement, and Hidan was seriously creeped out. The room, like his own, had painted-white walls, a dark carpet and glass furniture. Already awaiting him was a man with long orange hair and bangs framing his face, wearing a black cloak with red clouds on it.
"You may call us Animal and Human," he said instead of a greeting. Hidan glared. Those names were fucking stupid.
Konan was with them, too, but she stood off to the side, not looking a Hidan at all. "Pain is going to test your tolerance for pain and train you. I'm only here for a while to translate."
"Okay. What do I have to do?"
Konan closed her eyes. "Attack Pain. Give everything you have."
"Heh." Hidan smirked. "Don't underestimate me, I'm strong. I can beat the beau and the girl for sure." He turned around and – without any sort of warning at all, had the man's fist in his face. Stumbling back, he quickly touched his nose – it wasn't bleeding, thank fuck. "What the fuck, man?!"
"Your opponent is not going to wait for you to be ready," the man said, taking swing again. This time, Hidan reacted quickly by ducking and shoving his elbow into Human's stomach, making him fall back. But as soon as he had fended off Human, Animal came at him, kicking his legs away from underneath him and making him fall over.
He tried to get back up, but when he did, Human kept him down by putting his foot on Hidan's chest. "I could break your ribs just like this."
"What a poor performance," Animal added, her face expressionless. "I expected more. Let's test your pain tolerance then. I hope I won't be disappointed."
It was then that Konan left the room, and Hidan looked after her almost desperately. The two Pains, however, paid no mind to her and smirked down at him before Animal delivered him a swift kick in the ribs, making him gasp. Human applied more pressure by the second, and Hidan groaned, trying to breathe. "Stop!"
"Stop? You're already in pain?" Animal laughed tonelessly. "That's pathetic." She kicked again and Hidan cried out, hearing a sickening crack as the pain burst in his chest.
The Pains left him for a moment, allowing Hidan to clutch at where he was sure a rib was broken. He tried to get up, and though it took him a moment, he managed. He had barely a few seconds before Human grabbed him by his hair and slammed him face-first into the wall.
This time, his nose did start to bleed, and Hidan hated how it tasted on his lips. The pain was strong, but somewhat familiar – he had gotten into a lot of fights at home and actually broken his nose before, but that had always been against equal opponents. If he were to swallow his pride, he'd have to admit that he stood no chance against these two, who were obviously experienced fighters.
Fuck. The pain was actually making his eyes sting with tears.
Human turned him around, pressing him against the wall by his throat. He couldn't breathe, letting out choked noises and trying to pry Pain's hands from his throat. "You're crying? How pathetic."
Hidan spat in his face.
Pain didn't seem to care though; his fingers squeezed tighter around Hidan's throat, and Hidan was fairly sure that his trachea was about to be crushed – but then Human Pain all of a sudden threw him onto the ground, where he coughed and wheezed for a few moments.
There was something cold and rough pressing against his cheek, and when he looked up, he saw up a riding crop, then an arm wrapped in black material – belonging to a black cloak with red clouds, he knew. Animal Pain smirked at him. "I'm going to teach you the true meaning of pain."
Konan's hands were trembling slightly when she poured herself a cup of tea, then neatly setting a calmative pill beside it.
A scream rung through the air, making Konan cringe. She added another pill as an afterthought, popped both into her mouth and washed them down with tea.