FFVII Christmas

You know you are obsessed with FFVII when…


-Your entire Christmas list contains a total of 1 item not directly related to FFVII (a TV for your room, so you can hook up your PS2)

-You asked for Sephiroth/Vincent/Tifa etc. from Santa Claus.

-You also asked for your favorite pairing.

-You don't actually believe in Santa Claus; no one but an industrious Moogle could get around the world that fast.

-And reindeer? Ha. They're totally flying chocobos.

-Actually, you aren't so sure about the moogle. It might be the Chocobo Sage…

-Or Bugenhagen.

-Anyway, the idea of a Coca Cola advertisement breaking into your house and putting candy in your socks is creepy.

-You realize that it's snowing!! You are immediately outside, searching for the Northern Crater.

-Or the Knowlespole.

-Or the Chocobo Sage.

-However, you remember that you have to be careful not to get hypothermia and so you do squats occasionally to keep your body temperature up.

-You try to destroy your sibling's snowman/snow fort with your green marble.

-You decide that the fire materia is a dud and try to summon Ifrit with a red marble.

-When engaged in a snowball fight with the entire neighborhood, you attempt to summon Shiva to your team.

-You build a big, round snow fort and dub it "the Northern Crater"

-You sit inside it, waiting for Cloud and the others to come and just try to defeat you!

-Everyone ignores you.

-Your snow angels have only one wing…

-Except for one of them, which has two wings on one side.

-You sculpt a perfect SnowMog, pompom on a little branch and all.

-You have a tantrum when younger neighborhood kids knock it over.

-You start shouting "KUPO!" at them.

-You steal your brother's snowboard and attempt to ride it down the small hill near your house, dodging trees and moogles all the way.

-Unfortunately, you are as bad in real life as you were in the game and the "moogle"'s mothers don't seem too happy with you.

-You claim that Sephiroth did it and run.

Xmas Eve:

-Your Christmas tree had silver tinsel on it… and your room has now been decorated beautifully.

-Your tree now has several suspicious-looking, purple-colored, apple-shaped ornaments on it…

-You are giving other people gifts related to FFVII.

-You attempt to light the fire with a green marble by shouting "FIRAGA!!" at it.

-Once this fails, you search for your Ifrit summon and realize that your marbles are LOST!

-You immediately go outside to find them, in the pitch dark, in the snow, in your pajamas.

-When offered a lantern, you insist on bringing a kitchen knife along too.

-And walking very, very slowly.

Xmas Morning:

-You wake up Christmas morning to find Palmer stuck in your chimney.

-You attempt to launch him out using your infamous green marble.

-You finally get him unstuck when your parents wake up and ask what all the racket was about.

-You explain, but nobody believes you.

-Upon examining the presents, you have a fit of hysterical laughter at a gift wrapped in silver with a pink ribbon.

-You refuse to cut the pink ribbon citing that it's 'disrespectful' and spend twenty minutes untying it instead.

-You were disappointed upon receiving a Sephiroth figurine instead of the real thing.

-You were also disappointed that your PSP isn't the ice silver edition.

-You are also sad that you didn't get the guide for Crisis Core, (it's the only way you'd be able to play it in hard mode)

-Your most exciting gift is one of the FFVII spinoffs. You sleep with it under your pillow for the next four days.

-You were also given a large white/black piece of crystal which you refuse to let anyone touch for the rest of the day.

-You are terrified by your older brother's reaction to getting a chemistry set.

-You decide that his girlfriend must be informed immediately.

-You also decide that the cat must be kept in your room.

-You refuse to let him anywhere near you.

-Or your figurine collection.

-Especially not Turk Vincent.

-You tie the pink ribbon on your cat and declare that "This is what Aeris and Nanaki's kid would have looked like."

Author comments: That's all I've got... Forgive me for writing a list and I hope you enjoied the brilliant humor I attempted to put into this story. I hope you'll accept it as sort of a story in list format... Merry Christmas or whatever.