A Terribly Drunk Conversation
by atrum infractus

Quick Note: If any of you read "Sam and Dean's Movie Date"- same concept. All dialogue, no description. I just wanted to try it again.
And I can't get it formatted correctly...sorry.

"Y'know, S'mmy, we've done lotsa stuff t'gether!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Yep. We have...we drive t'gether-"

"Well, there's a brilliant observation."

"You're really sarcas-satic. Dunno where ya get it from."

"It really is incredible, isn't it?"

"Hey! We used t' ride bikes t'gether-"

"Dean, that was like- a really long time ago. Like ten years, at least."

"Yep- but we did it. T'gether. And we-"

"Have you ever noticed when you're drunk, you never pronounce any vowels?"


"It's together, Dean. Toooogether."

"Oh...well, we went t' Disney World tooooogether."

"That was not Disney World."

"Sure, 't was!"

"No, Dean. We stayed at a crappy motel, played miniature golf, and went to Sea World. But we have never once set foot in Disney together."

"Oh...I f'rgot..."

"It's a miracle you can remember your own name, so I'm still impressed."

"Oh, yeah! You- haha- you were sc'red to touch th' sting rays-"

"Why would I want to put my hand into water filled with things that can sting me? No thanks."

"Whatev'r. You were sc'red."

"Okay, Dean."

"Wait...we rode on th' thingy that spun 'round a lot t'gether, too!"


"At th' fair, that one time!"

"You mean those Strawberry things that we went on when I was like- seven?"


"Out of curiousity, does being this drunk make you remember random stuff, or is your long-term memory always this good?"

"I- I dunno..."

"Yeah. Just wish your attention span could be as good as your memory..."

"Then I wouldn' need ya!"

"Right. Because all I ever do is research. You do everything else."

"Glad ya finally get it."


"Oh! I r'member th' planes-"

"Now I know you're drunk. You never think of planes voluntarily."

"No! Y-Ya wanted t' be a pilot."

"When was that?"

"I...dunno. Sev'n, maybe?"

"Huh. I don't remember that."

"Yep. Bought ya mod'l planes, and th'n I looked up plane stuff-"

"Plane stuff?"

"Stuff 'bout planes."

"You mean about plane accidents? Like statistics?"

" 'S what I said, dumbass."

"Wait...don't tell me that's why you're scared of planes!"

"Yeah, well...they crash. Lotsa crashes. Didn' like th't..."

"Ever read any statistics on car accidents? Maybe we should just walk from now on."

"N'pe...I'd never cras' ma' baby."


"Y'know, we haven' done somethin', S'mmy."

"Well, I know you haven't puked on my shoes, but I'd really appreciate it if you didn't."

"Nah...I've puked 'n your shoes 'fore..."

"Dean, if you say that you didn't throw them out-"

"I did! Why ya think your fav'rites got los'?"

"Oh. You puked on them."


"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime...oh! But we haven' done somethin!"

"What, Dean?"

"We nev'r kiss'd!"

"Dean, you may be drunk enough, but there isn't enough alcohol in the world for me to get desperate enough to kiss my own brother. Plus, it's kind of illegal. And gross."

"No, n't like th't...ewww. 'M not gay, S'mmy."

"Then why do you want to kiss me?"

"N't like that! N't like kissin' a girl...they're fun, an' you prob'ly suck-"

"Aren't you always bragging that you taught me all I know about girls?"

"N'ver said ya were a good student."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence."

"B't I meant like on the cheek or somet'ing...I kiss'd ya when you were dead."

"You- you did?"

"Yep. Held your h'nd an' kiss'd yer forehead..."

"You...never told me that."

"Did ya kiss me wh'n I was dead?"

"Yeah, Dean...I kissed both of your eyes and your forehead before I...well, you know."

"I don' like kissin' ya when your dead, S'mmy..."

"Yeah...I don't like it very much, either..."

"...why'd ya do that?"

"Because I wanted to kiss you when you were alive and drunk enough to let me do it."


"You probably won't remember anyway."

"N'pe...I gots a long term mem'ry, remember?"

"I still can't believe you haven't passed out yet."


"You know, Dean...I missed you. A lot. And even if you're drunk and annoying, I'm just glad you're back. And I know I suck at being a little brother, but- you know, you can talk to me, Dean...Dean?"


"Hah...about time you passed out, big brother."


"Sweet dreams, Dean."