AN: Short story actually already complete, but I'd at least reread this part several times when fully awake, so I'll post it now and hope it isn't horrid, and I'll fix up the rest tomorrow. BTW new laptop, latest Office program…Driving me insane! If hadn't been bad when I realized I couldn't find anything, now I realize I can no longer highlight with ease! (That rant needed to be said to someone, you guys got the honor)

Umm thanks for reading and Merry Christmas! (BTW I was totally going to do this super fluffy prompt that's on some GH LJ account….so did not happen. This is actually a blend of another story I wanted to do and too much YouTube time, but I'll rattle on about that once this is done).

Holding On and Letting Go

December 24th 2009


He could do nothing, but watch as she fell. As she plummeted downward off the third story balcony. He did not think in specifics. Did not think how cursed the holidays felt. Sam nearly not seeing last Christmas. Jake being kidnapped while everyone else prepared to give thanks. Georgie Jones failing to live to put on her elf costume just once more or even legally drink. His sister never got to spend a holiday with her fiancée and the child she loved as her own.

No, the only thought going through Jason Morgan's head as he saw the brown curls fly in front of her face as she flew back was she could not die. He could not lose her.

Everything else stopped except for the thought that she could not die.

Yet she continued to fall despite the fact that he ran as fast as he could to her, there was no time to even brush fingers as she fell back. Yet she screamed his name as he screamed hers.

He could see her eyes though the split second before she hit even with her hair in her face, brown wide eyes looked at him in petrifaction. The one thing he knew could NOT happen, she knew it would and peace did not find her as it did others.

They closed though the moment that her body made the awful connection with the dry earth. No snow like last year to cushion her blow, no shrubbery either. Just solid ground.

He could hear Anna Devane's short proclamation of, "Oh god," as he screamed her name again, willing her to open those brown eyes once more.

One of her kidnappers groaned next to him from the shot an overeager WSB agent had fired trying to stop his escape down the stairs he had nearly reached. That agent had failed to take into account that their hideaway was a new construction that had been abandoned because of the recession and was only half finished. There were several posts along the balcony, but no proper railing and any precautionary measures had fallen away over time. All it had taken was one simple push to send Brenda off the balcony.

Jason would have followed her over had instinct not made him grab onto a post.

Instead he flew down the stairs; he did not think about the fight that waged on above him. He did not think of joining in the chase for her captors that had already escaped into the woods or the firefight that roared in the house behind him. He did not think of how Sonny Corinthos needed to be stopped as innocent victims continued to pay for the wars he started. He did not even think to be furious with her for the act that had once more labeled her Sonny Corinthos' mistress making herself an easy target for those wanting to bend Sonny to their will.

All he could think was, she couldn't be gone.

Maybe it was finally the sole train of thought that had graced Jason Morgan with a miracle because she groaned as he slid to the earth beside her. "Brenda," he frantically spoke her name.

She groaned again.

"She's alive," he screamed, not to the heavens, but to someone, anyone that could help keep her that way.

Anna Devane's eyes flooded as she heard those words as she was halfway down the last flight of stairs, she had promised her daughter she would bring Brenda home that Emma's aunt would be there to see her open the mound of gifts that awaited her in the morning. She had promised herself that she would not allow the drug cartel, which had infiltrated Port Charles in the late summer through Zacchara and Corinthos connections, to spoil her daughter and granddaughter's perfect Christmas. She would not allow the woman, who had been there for her daughter all of the years she had not to perish because they had still not managed to bring down the crime syndicate that they had been battling since the 80's. Anna Devane knew that she had failed to keep her promise despite those two words. Brenda had fallen back, there had been to chance to land on her feet, the only chance she had of surviving such a fall. Flat on her back from even a story below would mean numerous internal and head injuries. Part of Anna wished that she had not heard those two words and the girl's end would be merciful.

Her hand went to her walkie talkie to radio for help when she heard, "You're going to be okay Brenda, it's going to be okay." Her heart shattered again, she had heard it from her daughter and from numerous contacts. Jason Morgan was not a liar. He did not make promises or claims he could not keep. The man was even responsible for transforming his 'business' into a nearly completely legitimate one, despite the fact that the Feds were still pissed at him for not turning informant and the Zaccharas kept trying to take his power. She realized he was still not lying, but that his heart had spoken and not his head.

She clicked the transceiver in her hand to order the medevac.

Her eyes were tightly clenched with the next short groan that emerged without her mouth opening.

"I know," he told her, "you just need to hang on."

Her eyes blearily opened as his hand softly touched her cheek, bloodshot and glassy, they looked at him weakly and desperately.

"You're going to be okay," he promised despite the fact that tears had filled his eyes.

She blinked and the tears flooded out as she gave a quick twitch of her lips in a disbelieving smile. "I knew," her eyes clenched shut along with her mouth with a wave of pain, "knew you'd come," she finished her whisper as she opened her eyes.

"Always," he promised. "I'm sorry I-"

She stopped him with a nearly missable shake of her head, just barely a tremor and closed eyes, "You came."

"Always," he repeated and he felt her fingers trying to find his as felt her thready pulse with his free hand. He gave up on the task and took her hand and once more looked at her as another wave of pain hit. "You just need to be strong Brenda, help will be here soon."

All she could give him was a weak placating smile.

"Please Brenda," he found himself begging.

She tightened her weak grasp on his hand as she gave him a tender smile.

"It's-" he began then stopped as he noticed a new focus to her face, laced with confusion.

He could make out, a "J-" as her mouth opened, but that was all as it was replaced with the gurgling of blood as terror flooded her face.

"We need that medevac here now," he screamed without turning back before he once more begged, "please just hang on Brenda."


"Let him go with her," she told the technician trying to deny the blood soaked man his final minutes with the woman he had so desperately tried to save. The crew member's mouth opened to argue with her, "He won't get in the way, I promise." As if her promises meant anything.

The man nodded as Jason climbed in, "I'll call Robin," she nodded to him.

Jason followed it with a bellow of, "Why aren't we moving?"

She could barely hear Robert's yell over the sound of the helicopter taking off, but she finally turned for her name. Her shoulders crumpled forward and her jaw trembled just as he reached her. His focus was undone by the sight of his ex-wife, just as his pursuit of the man who had taken off into the woods had been undone by hearing the helicopter. The man who was now lying dead in the woods, Robert hadn't paused to radio it in before taking off in the direction of the house.

"How am I supposed to tell Robin," she crumpled entirely.

"Dear god who was it?" the Aussie asked as he caught her in his arms.

Her short cry was enough of an answer for him, Brenda, the only one whose slate was clean. Free of anything that could deserve such an end.

AN: If anyone was curious I was SOBBING my eyes out writing this. So um if it had that effect on anyone else, I'm sorry. I still miss being able to italicize and underline at the same time on this thing. PS if I repeated use the wrong spelling for a character and you're leaving a review could you mention it, new computer no dictionary full of fictional names yet. :-P