I take a step backwards. 'Why! Why is he here?' I see as his hand reaches out to caress my cheek but I back up again. 'No! I can't let him touch me! I… I can't touch him! It's been too long! We can't repair this pain! But… why is my heart throbbing oddly? Just where is that painful ache? Where is the plain pain?' He steps towards me but I back away further. I… I can't forgive. No, I can't… can I? It's been too long, too painful.
Oh god. That voice, that tone he saved only for me. How I missed it, how I yearned for it I hate this! Tears are trickling down my cheeks and I can't stop them. Fear runs through me, yet so does happiness, anger and confusion. I just can't make sense of anything anymore. I just can't.
"No, No! No! No! No!!" I repeat over and over, shaking my head. I can't take this. This is impossible. It can't be happening!
"Sasuke… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He continues to walk towards me and I back up, not wanting him near me, to touch me. Yet, at the same time, I want those warm arms around me, to comfort me, to soothe away all the nightmares that have been plaguing me all of these years. How can I desire yet reject something so much at the same time?
'Dammit Itachi… what are you doing to me and why?' I feel my bed against my knees and, without thinking; I stumble backwards and onto the bed. I scuttle back until my back hits the wall. I turn my head to the side, not wanting to see him anymore. "L-leave me alone!"
"Sasuke. Look at me."
His voice, it's so curt yet informal. My heart clenches tightly and I squeeze my eyes together, not wanting to his face. I hear his yukata shuffle slightly and the next thing I know is that his body is hovering over mine and his fingers are digging painfully into my cheeks as he holds my face towards his. I wince, both from the external and internal pain, 'Why is it that your hands hurt me… even after so many years of separation… is that what it's really about Itachi? Is it!' My arms flails slightly to free themselves from his weight on my sleeves before I push against his chest pathetically "Get away. Get away! Leave me alone! Get away!!" I'm flailing now, my entire body is, and my fists are pounding against his chest. "Leave me alone!" I know the tears are streaming from my eyes again, but, as usual, I cannot stop them.
"Oh Sasuke…" I hear him whisper and I feel his gentle touch, even after so many years, so much pain, it calms me. I feel his thumbs rubbing away my tears and his lips against my forehead. A moment later I push him away from me, cowering under my covers. I don't understand myself anymore! One moment I'm hitting him and flailing at him, the next I'm comforted by his soft, soothing gestures. Why won't he leave me alone? Why doesn't he see the turmoil that only he can create!
"P-Please…." I whimper to him from beneath my bed sheets. I feel his weight shifting, and I think he understands what I meant. A few more sobs escape me before I begin to calm down. I know he hasn't left, I can still feel his weight pushing down on my bed. Even if he wasn't on my bed, I know, I just know he won't leave. My Aniki isn't like that.
'But since when does he whore himself out to others?'
'SHUT UP!' I scream at my mind. It's happening again, the inner voice that always seems to provide a negative answer yet makes perfect sense.
'Is the precious Onii-sama who he portrays himself to be? Which one is the truth? Which one is the lie?'
'…' I can never challenge these thoughts. They… they are so logical. I know I haven't gone crazy. The voice is my own… probably some subconscious part of me.
'Maybe he's even more sick and twisted. Perhaps he actually enjoys it and thought that it was the perfect life-style.'
'No!' I can't accept that. My, my… my Nii-san isn't like that. He isn't! I feel my heart aching. But what theory is more logical? His unknowingness or his twistedness? I, I need to know.
"N- Itachi…?" I whimper lowly, afraid of the answer. I feel his gaze on me, but he doesn't talk. For some reason, that puts me at ease, and I think he knows that. "Why?"
Silence blankets the room, heavier than before. I can't even hear the ticking of my clock. 'Why? Why won't you answer Itachi?' I ask desperately, but he can't hear me.
Finally, I hear a noise, albeit it's his soft sigh. But, I know from experience that he's about to say something, and probably something that isn't pleasant. "I never… I never planned for this to happen. I swear Sasuke."
I feel tears brimming in my eyes, though not out of happiness or sadness. They are from frustration and anger. I need to know more. I can't believe him, I can't! This isn't something that could be solved with a simple answer. I need the details! I need them!! This is my life that I gave in his hands! This was my innocence! My virginity!! I gave everything to him, I trusted in him! But, instead, I ended up here, in this hell-hole brothel! I feel the hot tears escape from my eyes and drip into the sheets. Temptation tells me to toss the covers and scream at him. But I don't. I… can't. What little defiance I have left, I've already used up. But, no, that doesn't stop the anger from taking over.
Seriously. What. A. Shitty. Birthday. How can it get any worse?
Oh, apparently he's not done.
"Sasuke… I know, I know you don't deserve this treatment," Hah! Oh really now? Me, the pathetic, useless, younger sibling who could never achieve enough. Amuse me some more why don't ya with those pathetic lies of yours! "But I would've done anything to get you out of there." Oh? And make me a sex slave? How fucking endearing my devoted brother. "I thought anything was better than how he treated us." Oh how insightful my genius of a brother. Trying to contradict yourself now? You fucking fake. "I knew I should have done a background check, but, no, no excuses." No shit Sherlock. This is only, the next few years of my life we're talking about. Not that important hmmm? Oh yes, we cannot forget that little fact about my virginity now can we? That really is just the smallest thing in the world, isn't it? "And, I know that I have no right to say this but—" I'm sorry right? Isn't that right you dumb-fucking-shit? "I'm sorry." Oh no, you have all the right in the world. Why? Because I don't give a shit in the world. That's right you little liar.
If I am not beneath the silken sheets, I probably would be staring at him right now. "And yes Sasuke. Hate me; hate me for what I've done to you." I freeze as I am about to lift the cloth that covered my face. All of my anger disappears. How? How could I hate him?
No, he is still my Nii-san… he is still the Aniki I know and love. I curl up tighter and the tears that had seemed to stop reform and flow out of my eyes. This time, they are cool, sorrow-filled tears. Sobs wrack my body and I feel him move. No! No! He can't leave. I fling off the covers and grab his arm, looking up at him as tears fall down my cheeks, "Nii-san…."
That title is enough for him; he knows that I forgive him. I feel his arms wrap around my lithe form and I clench his back tightly, letting out my tears into his strong chest.
We sit like this for what seems to be a long time – though only perhaps five to ten minutes. I look up at Itachi and I feel the strongest, most unusual urge in my life. I want to kiss him. No, not just a simple peck on the cheek, not some brotherly kiss. No it's something far more than that. I swallow and my body takes over as I lean up, placing my lips against his.
My body feels like it's exploding inside – I can't explain it any other way. I continue to press my lips against his, perhaps even increasing the pressure, but when I feel his hand reach behind to grab my hair, I know that I've overstepped my boundaries. A heavy feeling settles in my stomach as I begin to back out to avoid as much pain as possible, yet I feel him pulling me closer. That wonderful feeling from before returns – intensifies – and I push feverishly against his lips, his body. God, how I want to do so much more with him. Perhaps if I… Well scratch the perhaps. My body acts on its own, my mouth opening, trying to invite him in. I've done this so many times, but this time it's different. It's so much different. I let out a soft moan as I feel his tongue entering my mouth and my own hands wrap around and undo the ribbon tying up his hair. It's grown longer since I've last run my fingers through it. But, instead of indulging in that occasion, I use his hair to pull him even closer. I want him closer and closer to me, so that we can never part from each other ever again.
Sadly, we eventually do part, but I am left breathless, and panting. I feel the burn on my cheeks, but I keep my gaze on him. Yes, him my brother, him, my Itachi.
"Sasuke…" I hear him whisper softly into the air before his lips begin to attack my face, kissing every inch of my skin. His hand moves to subtly slide down my effeminate kimono, but I notice it none the less. Next, his lips attack my neck – though not using his teeth, or apply a heavy suction onto it. Oh, how I want him to do that to me, but he can't. No employee is to give or receive markings on their skin (though I'm sure there are a few exceptions). My hands are still in his hair, and my nail tightens as he kisses that spot on my collar bone. I stifle my moan, only coming out as a soft whimper.
"A-ah… Itachi…" I moan very softly, encouraging him to continue. Every time his lips come in contact with my skin, the feeling begins to trail downward. As the feeling grows, I know we've overstepped our brotherly boundaries, our work boundaries. I don't care, or perhaps, the thought arouses me further. This act of deviance is so forbidden, yet it's so tantalizing. Briefly, for a split second, his teeth gently graze the spot on my neck that drives me insane. One of my hands leaves Itachi's hair to cover up the moan that escapes me. All of these actions just further our illicit behaviours, just making me want even more. So much, that I didn't notice the upper half of my kimono was off of me, exposing my chest to him. When his kisses move lower, his warm mouth wrapping around one of my nipples and he lets his tongue swirl around it, I know that I'm putty in the palm of his hands. He could do anything to me and I wouldn't care.
No wonder why we were separated – the bottoms and tops I mean.
That thought leaves my mind as he bites down – hard – and I use my other hand to mute the loud scream of pleasure escaping me. He laps at it in an apologizing motion, but I want more. Itachi certainly knows how to cheat and never get caught.
Then, I feel his mouth move across my body. My body arcs to each one of his loving kisses, the desire for him building and moving lower. I breathe heavily through my nose, trying to be as quiet as possible. Again, the differences occur to me, though quickly fades as he bites down once more. God, Itachi just drives me so insane, and my body urges for his touch – and, for the first time with any person, my mind does to. His kisses lower and I feel him loosening my bow before removing the remainder of my garments. I feel his gaze once again before he descends, his tender kisses walking up my hardening length.
I continue to moan wantonly into my hand and only he can hear me. The lust bubbles further within my stomach and when I feel his tongue lick my tip, I know I want more. Not just his mouth, I want everything. I want him inside me, I want him of violate and cleanse my entire being. I mouth his name but no noise escapes me. I know that he knows though. My hips buck slightly but his strong hands hold me steady. His grip is so powerful, yet so comforting. He knows exactly how to twist me to his touch. When his mouth wraps around me, another loud, muffled moan escapes me. It somewhat bears a similarity to his name followed by his title.
My eyes screw shut and I feel a lubricated finger enter me. An immediate thought of 'When did he do that' cuts off at the third word as he hums to distract the slight discomfort. I'm truly grateful for the slick substance – as I'm not accustomed to it. His finger thrusts within me in a teasing manner. He pokes at the sensitive wall, but not touching my prostate. A whine escapes me, and I both feel and hear his deep, low chuckle. A droned moan leaves me again, my hands also muffling it. I feel his other finger entering me, and my body automatically adjusts to it. I feel his digits parting, and scissoring, stretching me before unexpectedly hooking and scraping my gland. "Fuck!" I curse the smothered, unrecognizable profanity as the pleasure hits me. Again his fingers graze that spot again and I feel the pleasure spiking up my spine, my hips pushing down to experience the amazing feeling again. To my dismay, he moves his fingers and continues to prepare me with a third finger. My breath escapes through my nose at an even hastier speed, my body nearing an edge. I feel as if I am about to breach a line before his fingers roughly ram inside of me, and I feel his teeth grazing up my length. I cry out his name again, falling off into ecstasy.
As my vision returns (after being clouded by a white light), and my hands fall I see my brother smiling down at me and I pull his face down for a messy, sloppy, seed-filled kiss. I taste myself on his lips, inside his mouth, mingling with his own unique flavour but it just arouses me further. My hips glide up, rolling against his. "Ahhn… Itachi…." I moan out lowly. I move my hips to repeat the action but his firm hand stops me, his lips connect to my ear.
"Do you want to continue…?"
I realize this was the first I heard him speak since the soft, yearning sound of my name. My newfound lust disregards that fact, moving my lips for me, "Yes Nii-san."
I watch as his yukata flows off him in an almost godly manner. I lick my lips, the fused tastes still remaining. The logical part of my brain seems to have disappeared, being replaced by this lust that filled my being. "I'm ready Aniki." Those infringed terms are so arousing, and I feel my lower-half stirring slightly just at the aspect.
I feel his now naked form hovering above me and my heart thuds oddly in my chest before pushes his lips against mine in a hungry manner. My fingers tangle themselves in the silken, raven locks. Then I feel him easing into me. Again, the difference astonishes me, but is pushed away at the feeling of being filled so perfectly. Sure, there is some pain, but the sensation overcomes the discomfort.
I breath that small word against his lips before the our two pairs join again and his body begins to move. My own body instinctively follows suit, unable to believe how incredible this feels. It's so perfect, so beautiful. My moans are lost within his mouth still so identical to mine. My hardened length is trapped between out stomachs, the friction of your moving bodies stimulating it further. When he thrusts into my prostate his hand covers my loud moan. I place my own atop his and another. I hear his soft sighs and moans, knowing that he did this just for me. Soon, every thrust is no longer a tease and our movements lose a rhythm, becoming slightly frantic to reach the end. "Itachi-nii-san!" I scream through my covered mouth and my body tightens for a second him, my length twitching and releasing its load between us. A moment or two after I fall down from my high, I feel his warm fluids inside and leaking out of me. I swear I heard him whisper my name, but I cannot be too sure.
We sit like that for moments, exhaustion and relief filling us. I hear him move silently out of me, but my hand wraps around his, interlocking our fingers.
"Itachi…" I whisper softly, looking into his eyes lovingly. I feel my logic returning and I realize now, just how perfect we are for each other. He is the driver, and I am the slave. He is my other half as I am to he. I know I would and will do anything for him.
"Sasuke…" A small smile appears on his face and I use my free hand to stroke his cheek. I know I can trust him now, I absolutely do. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry for everything…" I hear his whispers but I forgive him. I guess love really does make you do crazy things. I know I should be angry at him, but right now, nothing matters, not even my virginity.
"It's okay Itachi-nii-san… It's okay…" I say softly, "I forgive you. Even about my…" I fall silent at this. Even though I do forgive him, it's still not an easy topic to discuss.
"Sasuke…" I think he picks up on this, "Back then… the first…" I look at him now with my wide, childish, and curious eyes. He seems like he's going to confess something.
'But what?' The thought quickly rushes through me, but he answers before I have a chance to ponder on it.
"It was me." My heart stops. My first time, I remember it vividly even if I was drugged. I still remember the pain, but one thing I forgot until now was how gentle the person was regardless of my thrashing and screaming. That person did everything with me, but I could never remember their face.
'Itachi stole my innocence, my… virginity…?' My thoughts are swirling again and my pardoning aura flickers. 'Can I forgive him for that? Can I…'
Once again, Itachi interrupts my thoughts, "I wanted to protect you in the only way possible…"
I gulp, realizing that I could and did forgive my older brother. I know that all he has on his mind is my welfare. Then, our situation hits me. We're still slaves to this brothel. We're still stuck, unable to get out and cannot communicate daily.
"Nii-san…?" I whisper softly, looking at him, "we're still stuck here, aren't we?"
I see him shake his head, "No, I have a plan. And this time, I know we can trust this person."
I blink, praying that this is the last birthday I wake up parted from him.
I know Sasuke's such a little bitch in this, but seriously, can you blame him? lol anyway here it is
this MIGHT continue but not for awhile atm lol