Scenes of Refrigerator Day – Epilogue

(60,000,001BC – 7PM)

The Sinclair family gawked at the scene that lay before them: Roy placed mammals gently on Monica's back with his jaws while she sat on the ground so they could use her tail for a slide and the Scavengers were torturing the Howlin' J band with karaoke.

General Chow spotted the Sinclairs and walked up to them brazenly. "Don't think you'll get us to come back just so you can fatten yourselves on our meaty morsels, Sinclairs."

Earl looked at his family, who stared at him expectantly. He sighed and looked at the small half-eaten blue mammal, his voice humble, "We're not here to eat you. We came to wish you the best of luck this holiday season," he mumbled bitterly.

Tears started rolling down Chow's good eye. "You – you mean, we're free?" he gasped.

Ethyl frowned. "Don't expect us to become friends or anything," she groused. "Food that rotten would just have given us food poisoning. I'm getting too old to risk it."

Baby squirmed free of Charlene's grasp and fell with a thud to the ground. He smiled at Chow cheerfully. "I learned a new song, wanna hear it?" He inhaled deeply and sang (to the tune of "Jingle Bells").

No one cares,

Ate a bear,

Hat stuck in my throat.

I got sick,

Ma healed me quick,

Next time I'll spring for some goat.

Baby laughed as Fran picked him up. Fran smiled at Chow. "Maybe we can start a new tradition," she told him. She glanced at Earl. "Refrigerator Day hasn't been going too well in our family, so we might benefit from changing it up a bit." She looked back at Chow. "Starting this year, we'll spare all of the creatures on Refrigerator Day so they can have a chance to regain their lives."

"Yeah, but run fast," Ethyl grinned, "because when the sun rises the next day it's back to the good ol' food chain."

Robbie ran toward the makeshift stage, grabbing the mike out of Lingo's hands, and started to wail as the Howlin' J band picked up the tempo to the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock".

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rock the night away.
It's about time, I start my climb --
Up the hard rock charts to get big pay!

As Charlene took Baby to play with the mammals, Fran smiled and sighed and held Earl's hands. "It looks like Robbie got the attention for his music he's wanted ever since he was twelve."

Earl looked away. "It's a shame we didn't bring the presents we got for everyone," he noted wistfully. "I was planning on surprising Rob with our present."

"What did you get him?" Ethyl asked, curious and without a hint of hostility, for the music and fun was getting infectious, even for her.

"We bought him something called a home video camera. All he ever talks about is becoming a rock star. We thought maybe finding a way to air his songs on TV might get his career started." Earl shook his head and sighed. "For what it cost us, the least he could do when he hits it big is use his obscene amount of money to buy me that plasma screen television set I've had my eye on for two or three years."

Fran smirked. "I'm so happy you found a way to spend the holidays thinking of someone other than yourself," she noted.

Earl smiled. "Well, it's an investment, raising kids," he said, not recognizing her slightly teasing tone.

Fran nodded and leaned up against him as they all watched the fun. "I think we may have given them the best present of all: a bigger family."

Earl grinned as widely as he could. "Yep – this was the least riskiest Thursday night I've ever had."

On a tall shelf deep in Monica's cave, a small silver refrigerator-shaped picture frame stood proudly, with a moveable "door" revealing a grinning Roy Hess holding a bouquet of roses.

The End.