A/N: Okay...so I said that I wasn't going to write Jorrie one shots anymore. This one however is an exception 'cause it's a present for a certain Jorrie Girl lol.
Oh and Kelly if you happen to be eating right now, please finish eat before reading this. Don't say that I didn't warn you lol. Thank you :P
Cena Claus is Comin' to Town
A/N: Torrie asks John to be Santa Claus for her niece's Christmas party. But he refuses. So what made him changed his mind?
"No, Torrie. I'm not doing it."
"I'm not doing it."
"Come on John."
"I've already worn it once while we were on the trip to Iraq. That was enough! I will not go through this embarrassment again."
"No. I said that it would be my first…and LAST time that I'm wearing it."
"But Tiffany would really love it! And the kids too. Come on John. Think about them."
John shook his head adamantly. "Sorry. I've already been embarrassed. A lot of guys made fun of me! Do you remember when my beard went missing at the last minute when I had to go? Cryme Tyme took it!"
Torrie made a giggle. "Oh yeah I remember. That was funny."
John glared at her. She gave him a 'What?' look. "Well it was."
"Oh come on John. And besides they wouldn't do that in front of the kids anywhere."
"Yeah, sure." John rolled his eyes. "But I'm still not doing it."
"Sorry. Go find another that can tolerate on being humiliated. I'm not doing it."
John turned away and went to the fridge, leaving Torrie to stare at him with disbelief.
"Okay then, fine! I'll find another Santa Claus that's way better than you were two years ago!"
John took out a cold beer from the fridge and sipped it before replying calmly, "Sounds fine by me."
Few hours later…
"So he told you no?" Torrie's best friend Lillian Garcia asked. She had just arrived to help with the planning of the Christmas party for Torrie's niece Tiffany.
"Unbelievable right?" Torrie asked. She picked up two mugs of hot chocolate and offered her one. She sat beside her on the marble counter. "He said, and that he, and I quote, 'will go through this embarrassment ever again," Torrie said, making air quotes with her hands to emphasize.
Lillian's eyes widen. "But he was great at impersonating Santa. Tiffany would be really happy if he'd be there."
"Thank you! That's exactly the same thing I told him! But no, he had to be so adamant about it."
"But we already have him in mind for weeks. What are we going to do?"
Torrie sighed. "Well I guess the only option we have left is to find someone who can be Santa. I told that I would find someone so much better than he was so…"
Then Torrie stopped at her sentence. An idea had just shot into Torrie's mind. She smirked.
Lillian was confused at the blonde Boise's sudden change of look. "Tor? Why are you smirking like that?"
Torrie turned to the Latina, that same smirk was on her face. "Lil, I believe that we have gotten ourselves a Santa Claus."
"Oh yeah." Torrie flashed her eyebrows mischievously. She had an idea. And a good one, too.
John was watching a basketball game in the living room with his friends. This was so much better than having to wear a Santa suit, big boots and a beard that would make his face itchy for days.
Yes, this was so much better, he thought.
"Hey John, I heard that Torrie's planning a Christmas party. Steph told me. So who's the Santa? Or am I looking at one right now?"
The boys laughed. Well the three of them, including Hunter. Shawn nearly choked on a gingerbread cookie. John simply rolled his eyes and said nothing.
"Whoa, it's been a long time since I had a cookie with a ginger that powerful," said Shawn.
"The idea sounds amusing doesn't it?" Hunter Helmsly asked, giving his best friend a nudge.
"Cena as Santa Claus of course!" Chris Jericho pointed out. "Or…" he put up his fingers to air quote, "Cena Claus as we would like to call him." The boys laughed. Well, all of them except John (who rolled his eyes again in silence) and Shawn, who appeared to be lost.
"Say what now?" he asked in bewilderment.
"Were you even listening to a word that has been said?" Randy Orton asked.
"Oh sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I got so caught up with the game and…" Suddenly Shawn jumped up from the couch without warning. "YES! That guy just scored a three pointer!"
Chris stood on his two feet in disbelief. "NO! That stupid ass clown supposed to make the steal!" he said pointing to the screen. He was cheering for the opposing team.
"Well it's too late for ya now," Shawn said in a sing song voice. "You owe me twenty bucks Jericho!"
While Hunter was sitting in the middle of both of them, he stood in between them to stop the fight. "Alright, alright…enough." He had device in his hand pointed it toward the television.
"HEY!" Now all the boys in the room, including John, yelled at Hunter for the sudden move.
"It was starting to get good! And I'm winning some money!" Shawn argued.
"Tease John first, money later," Hunter said coolly. "Now sit your ass down." He placed his hand on either shoulder of Chris and Shawn and pushing them down hard, they plopped down into their seats.
John rolled his eyes. "Well you guys better save your breath 'cause you won't be seeing me as Santa Claus."
"Wait…John dressing up as Santa?" Shawn questioned. "John in a…" He stopped for a moment. Then he burst out laughing, manically. "Now that's priceless!" He kept on laughing.
"Yeah it really is," said Hunter. "Now do me a next favor."
"And what's that?"
"Shut up," Hunter said along with a slap at the back of the head. He turned to John. "Now what the hell have we just heard? What do you mean that you're not going to be Santa?"
John rolled his eyes. "I mean that I'm not going to be Santa."
"Aw come on! You can't do that!" said Chris.
"Oh yes I can. I'm saving myself from having to go through this humiliation. Never me again.
"But it's going to be fun!" said Randy. "And not only that, the kids will love it Especially Tiffany."
"Nope. I'm not doing it and that is that."
"Oh for pete's sake John, get into the holiday spirit will you?" Hunter said.
"For the last time you guys…I am not and I repeat, NOT going to dress up as Santa…and there's nothing or anyone that could change my mind."
Just then, coincidentally, Torrie walked in. "Hey you guys!" she made a glance to the television. "Have the game already finished?"
"Nah, it's still on," said Shawn. "but we just thought of having a guy talk instead. You know, just talk about…guy stuff."
"Great answer," Hunter whispered with sarcasm in his ear and faked a smile.
"Oh okay cool," said Torrie. "Well I'm just passing by to grab a few magazines for ideas so excuse me for interrupting."
"No problem," said Hunter.
Then Torrie looked at him before heading across to the bookshelf. John thought that she looked a bit too…cheerful for some reason.
And what was up with that look she gave him?
"So Torrie, how's the planning coming along?" Randy asked.
"It's going along great so far," said Torrie, taking up a bunch of magazines. "I think Lillian and I are getting somewhere with this."
"Well that's good to hear."
"Yep." Torrie faced them and grinned. "Well I shall be going back in the kitchen now."
Torrie walked past them but when she got nearer to John, her expression changed suddenly. She shot him the same look again.
Now John was getting confused with this odd behavior. "Torrie…why are you looking at me like that? What's the deal?"
"Oooh nothing," she said and smiled for him. "Nothing at all."
She walked on ahead. John turned to look behind him. It was as if she could sense his eyes looking back at her, as she stopped and turned with the same smirk that she had been giving him the whole time.
If John wasn't confused before, then he definitely was now as Torrie disappeared down the kitchen.
"Did you guys notice how Torrie's been acting weird?" John asked.
"Yeah. It's kind of like the same look Steph told me whenever she's up to something. Like the time I was trying to find my sledgehammer. And every time we sat on the couch, she'd be like 'I suppose it'll take you ten years to figure that out…' and then two weeks later, I found it under the couch! Steph had given those weird hints the whole time that I didn't really get them until now. And the funny thing is that I always felt weird everytime I sat on the couch. So the moral of the story is: if you feel weird sitting on a couch, listen to you gut, or rather, listen to your butt. You'll surely find something."
"Well I'm gonna listen to my gut," said John, sitting up. "And find out what Torrie is really up to."
"Wait a minute. Are you going to eavesdrop on her?" Shawn asked with a glare as if he was about to do a sinful act.
"No Shawn of course not! You see there's a difference between eavesdropping…and finding out what your girlfriend is up to."
"So you're going to ask her?"
"What are you, crazy? I'm going to hide in a corner." John said quickly and then marched away, on his way to the kitchen.
"I don't know about you guys but I wanna see what the scores are," Hunter said, switching on the television with the remote control.
"Oh lookie Hunter! Shawn said, cheerfully. "I just listened to your advice and looked what I found! He held up a candy wrapped lollipop. A Tootsie Pop!" He took off the wrapper. "Ooh, someone had already gotten to the center of it."
"Ew," Randy grimaced. "I wonder how long it's been there for."
Shawn licked it, clicking his tongue rapidly as to get the taste in his mouth. "About a day and a half old."
"EWWWW!" the boys exclaimed in pure disgust.
"Are you crazy?! Chris shouted.
"What? It's still good!" Shawn said. "Oh, wait, I think I got a piece of hair on my tongue."
"Give me that!" Hunter said, grabbing the Tootsie Pop from his hand.
In meanwhile, John was carefully that he wasn't seen as he spotted Lillian, turning the pages of a magazine. He crept over to the good spot where he could listen to the conversation and hopefully, to find out what Torrie was planning. Upon seeing a flash of curls coming around Lillian's side, John quickly dashed into the corner to hide.
"That was close," he muttered.
It wasn't look until he heard Lillian spoke up first. "So Tor, you said that you have found a Santa?"
John's eyes widen with bewilderment. "Torrie found a Santa?" he mouthed.
Then he heard his girlfriend's voice. "Yes. An idea just came up to me and I thought it was brilliant."
"Alright, well tell me more."
Now this was getting interesting. John kept on listening.
"Do you remember last week when we saw this Santa at the mall?"
"Well I've seen him without the suit after his shift so… I thought that we could ask the same guy to be Santa for the party! What do you think?"
"Ooh do you think we can?"
"I'm sure we will!"
"Oh so that's what Torrie was planning," John told himself. "She found a Santa." Then he smiled. "Well that works for me." He began to walk away.
"And did you notice how cute he looked?" was Torrie's voice piping up.
"…Maybe I'll stay for just a little while longer," John said and leaned back to the wall.
"You didn't mention that one." He heard Lillian giggle.
"Well believe me, he is. And maybe just a teeny, tiny…cuter than John."
"Teeny? Tiny?" Okay, maybe he would stay and listen to the whole conversation.
"Ooh Tor, don't let him hear you say that."
"Well it's too late for that now…" John said under his breath.
He could hear her blowing a raspberry. "Well since after this morning, I couldn't mind saying that that the guy might look better than him in Speedos."
John's jaw dropped. "Unbelievable!"
"But you know what Lil? If he'll end up surprising me in the end, when he dresses up as Santa, which I doubt that will happen…then I'll forgive him. It's just too bad though that he refused. I was going to tell him another part of the news…"
"Wait, you didn't tell him about the…"
The longer he stayed behind the wall, the more he wanted to listen. "Tell me what? He spoke, though he was being very quiet.
"I didn't tell him a thing about it."
"Tell me what?"
Lillian made a gasp. "How could you not?"
"Tell me what?"
"Well he was being so stubborn about it so I've decided to just keep it quiet."
"Tell me what?!" Now John was getting frustrated.
"Oh well that's too bad," Lillian said. "He would have liked to have you as his helper."
John's eyes widen at the revelation. His helper? Did she…no, she didn't.
"Yeah and I already got my costume and everything. I was going to tell him that I'm going to be his Santa's little helper…but oh well. The new Santa will be up for a treat."
John had taken in a lot of what he needed to know. His blood was not boiling up now.
"Like hell he will," John said.
Two days later
It was the day of the Christmas party. The kids had a good time playing game and singing Christmas carols. Torrie had told John of the time that they were inspecting to see Santa making his appearance. So she asked him to greet him when he's coming.
"Oh I'll greet him alright…" A smirk appeared on John's face. Little did Torrie know that John had cooked up a plan.
John hid behind a bush, keep checking for time in his watch every five minutes. "He should be here anytime no…"
Bingo. The 'Santa Claus' had just arrived.
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town," he said in a sing song voice. He smirked.
"Where's John?" Torrie asked. She had just worn her cute green Santa's helper outfit.
"He's still outside," Hunter announced.
"What is he doing out there?" A blonde girl Tiffany asked.
"He's probably having a conversation with Frosty," said Chris.
"The snowman?" a boy named Ted asked. "Impossible. We all know that a snowman can't talk."
"Well…he's a special snowman," Randy said, kneeling down to meet his height. "A very special snowman."
"Uh huh sure," Ted scoffed. Then he pointed to his nose. "and your nose is just like his. So pointy…like a carrot."
Randy placed his hand over his nose to feel it. He tried to dampen his anger as he turned his head away from him slightly. He turned back to the boy, flashing a fake smile for him. "You sure have a good sense of humor, huh?"
"And you have a very funny haircut," said Ted, studying it. "What happened? Did you get run over by a lawn mower?"
Randy's eyes narrowed at the little boy.
"I may have not known him but now I'm starting to like him already," Hunter said, trying hard to keep the laughter to himself.
Shawn was in the kitchen, sipping a glass of water when the door opened. The head with a pair of spectacles on and white beard and popped in through, looking around as if the coast was clear.
Shawn took a glance of something and startled. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"
He closed the door behind him. "Sorry Shawn."
Shawn had his eyes widened. "Wait…you know me? But you're not even…are you…?" He dashed over to him. Then Shawn looked at the man up and down.
"What are you doing?"
"Well…" Shawn had his hands on his hands. "I'm doing an investigation to see whether you're real…or not! 'Cause if you are real…that I have a wishlist that I had written down when I was ten years old. I find it a rip off that I had not gotten and now I want to make a complaint!
"Shawn! I'm not Santa!"
"Well you couldn't fool me with me," Shawn scoffed. Suddenly, Santa grabbed into his shirt.
"I am not the real Santa. Do you believe me now?"
"…Yes! Yes! I get it! I get it!"
"Good." Then he released him from the hold. Shawn stared back at him.
"…John? Is that you?"
"Yes it's me. I would take off the beard to show you proof but that'll be too risky. But just so you know…"
"I see." Shawn nodded. "But wait…what made you changed your mind?"
"Well Shawn," John began, placing a hand on Shawn's shoulder. "This morning I woke up and I said to myself, 'you know what? Maybe it's not going to be such a bad idea after all.'"
"Ah, well good good then!" Shawn said.
"Yep." Oh, it's going to be good, indeed.
"So wait…if you're going to be Santa, then what are we to do with the next one?"
"Oh don't worry about him. I've gotten that problem solved."
"What did you do?"
"Well I sort of…tied him up and put him in the garage."
"And your point is?" John asked. Before Shawn could protest further, a third voice came into the mix.
"You're here!" Lillian said with a smile. "Hi, I'm Lillian, a friend of Miss Wilson."
"Oh well nice to meet you Lillian," John said, in his deep voice and shook her hand. "I'm hearing the voices of the little children…which I'm sure that they're all good."
Lillian laughed. "Oh they certainly are." She turned to Shawn. "Shawn, have you seen John?"
'Santa' turned to Shawn as well. Shawn simply shook his head.
"Nope, I haven't seen him. He hasn't been in the kitchen, that's for sure!"
"Oh well never mind…" Lillian offered the 'Santa' a smile. "Follow me."
"Alrighty," John said and went to follow Lillian, not without flashing Shawn a wink before moving on ahead.
Though he didn't like to dress up as Santa, he actually had fun being one, surprisingly. It was great to spend time with the kids. Well he couldn't really say the same for Ted since he kept on insisting that he touched his beard to find out if he was actually real.
But there were other important things….or just mainly one thing. He got to spend time with his little helper. He had really enjoyed himself.
So when all the kids were gone, only he was left alone in the living room with Torrie. And he didn't mind this at all.
"Today was just amazing," said Torrie. "You really impressed me."
"Well…just doing my job you know."
Torrie giggled. "And you still have that deep voice…I like that."
"Does that…turn you on?" He flashed his eyebrows.
"Well…just a little bit," Torrie laughed. "Okay, I better quiet down or he will hear me."
"Ooohhh…." He began, nodding his head. "Ooohhhh. So you're not single."
"Are you disappointed?" Torrie asked.
"Well who wouldn't be when he sees an attractive woman like you."
"Aw, stop it," Torrie giggled.
"I'm serious. He's very lucky to have you."
Torrie smiled. "Yeah, I'm lucky to have him too….although there has been a few bad qualities about him."
John froze. ""Oh…really?"
"Oh yeah. And they're not good at all, believe me."
"Well then….care to share?"
"Well okay. Sometimes he can be messy when it comes to clothes. I mean I find it annoying that he doesn't pick up after himself."
"Ooohh…I see. Well, don't a lot of people do that all the time?"
"If there was, then John's the messier one."
Torrie looked at him and raised her brow. "What's up with you? You sound as if you're upset about something."
"No, no, I'm fine! But please continue."
"Well okay. But I have a lot of things to tell you about him.
There's more? How bad could I be? "Okay. Go ahead!"
"Well actually three things. One, he's lazy. He never wants to help with anything. He lets me to do this, do that. All he ever does is to sit on the couch and watch TV! Two, his snores are so annoying! I usually have to cover his mouth with a pillow."
"….Okay." He nodded. "….and what's the last one?"
"Well…it's a secret actually. Can you promise to keep this between you and me?"
John was certain that he could. "You can count on me!"
"Okay…" she leant forward to whisper in his ear. "Sometimes he can be….unromantic."
"I'm what?!" The man stood up to his feet suddenly.
Torrie stared in disbelief. His voice had changed into the one she was very familiar of. "Wait…John! Is that you?!"
John tore off the fake beard from his face and threw it down the floor. "Yes it's me! So you're saying that I'm unromantic?"
"Well…" Torrie made a nervous laugh. "Well baby you see…"
"I took you out to a restaurant by the waterfront! We went to see two movies on one day…and neither of them are the ones that I wanted to watch! I looked you pasta for dinner…my first and only time to cook you dinner…and after all of that I did for you and you're saying that I'm unromantic???"
Torrie said nothing. Then her mouth opened to speak.
"John, I …"
"What the h…" John was cut off due to a sudden flash that blinded him.
Chris peered behind Hunter to look at the screen. "Nice shot."
"I know, it's picture perfect." Hunter said, grinning as he looked into the tiny screen at the back of a digital camera. "I'm definitely gonna blow up this one, put it in a frame…" then he looked up at Torrie and John. "and give it to you guys a present."
John rolled his eyes. "Ha ha funny. If you'll excuse us, I want to have a little talk with my girlfriend…"
"Oooh," said Lillian. "Has she told you?"
"About being unromantic? Yeah I just have actually…"
"No, not that. I mean the other thing."
What was the other thing that he was supposed to know? John was confused. He turned to Torrie who had a smirk on her face.
"Got ya," she said, pressing a finger on the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe it worked."
"What worked? He looked from the group to Torrie. "Will someone please tell me what's going on here?!
"I will," said Torrie. "You see…I have asked you before to be Santa and you refused…so I came up with this other idea…"
"To hire a Santa impersonator." John finished.
"Well…yes and no."
John blinked again. "Come again?"
"My original plan was to get you to change your mind. I figured that if I act weird and strange around you then…you would get curious about it and hopefully, find out what I was up to. So I did just that."
John remembered two days ago when Torrie was looking for magazines, that she was smirking at him for no reason. Well so he originally thought.
"And when Torrie realized that she had gotten your attention, she made a sign for me to be prepared to get into the act as well," Lillian revealed. "So while I could see the living room from the kitchen, I just made a glance and caught you creeping in…and that's when Torrie knew when she had to get ready."
"So then I had to wait a while for Lillian to get give another signal on when to start off our pretend conversation," said Torrie. "Basically we just made things up as we got along."
John couldn't believe what he was hearing. So after all the trouble he went through…he had been part of the set up. And he did his part without even knowing it.
"And I figured that if I mentioned a few little things just to…get you jealous…then you would eventually…"
"End up being as Santa," John finished, finally understanding.
"Uh huh," Torrie smirked.
"So…the other Santa, I mean guy…"
"Oh he's from the mall indeed. But Lillian and I thought that if our plan might doesn't work, then we would just to go with Plan B."
John nodded. "And so Plan A was…" he pointed a finger to his chest.
Torrie nodded and smirked again. "You got it, baby."
John groaned at this. He had been humiliated for the second time. In a Santa suit. " I don't believe this!"
The group laughed at him. John groaned even more.
"Well John…" Torrie said with a sweet smile, draping an arm over his shoulder. "Now you've learned a good lesson."
"Yeah…that you're dangerously intelligent."
"I can take that compliment," Torrie giggled. "But that's not what I was going to say."
"Then what is it then?"
"Next time when I asked you to be Santa Claus, just do it for me. Okay?"
"Oh don't worry I will. And I'll find a non-itchable beard too."
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it...and hopefully Miss Kelly too lol. Merry Christmas everyone!