Characters: Eileen/Chimera, Marco, etc.
Song: I just wanna hold you tight
Artist: Miho Kamatsu
Hi, I'm back!^-^ Just wanna say a few things ahead of reading. #1. I absolutely love everything about Chimera, seriously, I'm obsessed with her. #2. I love the EileenxMarco coupling, although I'm saddened it's so tradgeic but turns out well in the end, and this story came out a oneshot with some changes of events here and there. I thought these lyrics really fit Eileen's POV while she endures so much torturous hardships, so much that it was the inspiration for this piece. This is pretty much my opinion of what happened to her when she was held captive by those beastly villagers. Anyway...#3. As a heads up, the bold writting are lyrics, the first six, beginning paragraphs in italics is Eileen's dream, the other italics are her thoughts, and finally the normal writting is discription of events. GO EILEENXMARCO!^-^ Kinda sad that I'm the only coming up with things for them, but I think I'm doing a great job in my endeavours! Okay, so please, enjoy and review, if you'd be so kind.
What a terrible nightmare
"N-Noooooo!!! Marco, come back! Don't let them take you away from me! From us! They'll kill you! Marco, please, I swear it!" My voice breaks off, cracking as I sob, choking back tears desperately to find my voice. However much I want to listen to you, to believe in your charming glance reassuring words, I can't simply let them have you! I have to try to save you, darling!
My right hand lays outstretched in front of me in the air, seeking to grasp his silken, stable body and I rise quickly from buckling down on my heavy knees across the floor a lifetime ago, trying to run towards disappearing backs of mass murderers. I feel I'm almost tripping over my long, white gown and twisting my ankles in my good, white heels, but I keep going, and eventually reach them, my gloved fingers actually brushing against the back of my beloved's white and grey vest. My trembling fingers ache to undo the tight, thick ropes binding his hands behind his back, but I know my sleeved hands are too shaken for such a hurried task. I simply let myself fall into his frame, pressing my body against his sturdy, defined shape for some kind of support. His brown, spiky haired head turns; his tanned, handsome face restraining tension and his black eyes are still in isolating slits as his layered voice masks sorrow when he meets me..
"It's alright, honey! I told you, I'll be back very soon, so please, stop worrying so much, dear. It's unusual for you be so over reactive. I'll only be gone with them for a few days at the most, so calm down, alright? Just look forward to the day we can resume this ceremony and our vows. I promise it will be the most remember able day of our lives, sweetie!" My hands clenching the top of his blazer freeze, my feet stopping abruptly in place as if I'm rooted to the hard, stone ground. I feel my eyes widen with disbelief and bittersweet realization clouding my thoughts as my breath comes in a sharp gasp.
'No! No! Don't say that! It won't happen, Marco! It can't! You won't be here anymore when that day comes. I know it! Stop torturing me with what should have happened! Stop teasing me with that tantalizing fantasy we both wanted so much! Why are you deepening the wounds of loneliness for me to suffer alone, Marco? Why?! ' Demanding, accusing outcries ring in my head. I see his face lean towards me, his cheek sweeping over mine as his lips connect to my bare forehead and kissing my lips with wisping passion and longing ness before he pulls back, his courageous shield lowered, faltering. Barely aware of my movements, my hand grazes over his face, cupping around his cheek as I return the mutual feelings he's suppressing. Dragging seconds pass as my lover's expression bores into my shocked, feeble mind, before impatient voices rise around him and my hands are roughly pried away from his comforting physicality and shoved I'm aside by the ruthless villagers; falling slowly to the cold stone below and a hard landing to my side, accompanied by gruff, wavering voices floating through my failing hearing.'
No matter how much I shout...
You slip out of my arms
You disappear into the darkness
"Please don't look at me so forlornly, Eileen. It makes my heart hurt even more to see you so pained. Keep faith and your beautiful face smiling. I'll see you later, okay? I love you, Eileen. Be careful!" Marco's sad and cheerful tone makes my head lift some so I can watch him again as he shares that lingering look and turns away, facing the direction of his accepted future. I swallow my trembling breaths repeatedly, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat and attempting to speak again, if only to say farewell and how much I love him but only blubbering gasps that rack my body, also, block my tongue's need for speech.
'No! You don't understand, Marco! They really will take you away from me! Forever… No, I can't let my heart be deceived by his tempting optimism! It's so unreal, that I can't let myself believe that fleeting lie. Even though I yearn for it deeply so…Oh Marco! I'm in turmoil without you! I'm lost and confused and only you can lead me out of the winding maze of my mind's heart! Only you! Won't you just look back at me one more time! Let me see your brave, smiling face...just once more…please, Marco...before we're…separated, dearest…' My vision's blurring and mixing the white, black, grey and brown colours of clothing, faces and surroundings together against my will to focus on Marco's broad, retreating back as fading thoughts drift through my mind. As the shapes join into darkness and my blinking eyes encourage more rolling tears down my face, empty, numbing blackness surrounds me, and only my own piercing, denying scream fills the silence, resounding through my soul's core…'
I just wanna hold ya tight
Don't ever let me go
My eyes fly open, my mind unable to take anymore anguish. The screaming doesn't stop, and it takes me a few seconds to realize I'm the one making the shrill, ear-piercing from my own dry, sore throat. 'It's the same dream, the familiar terror of him disappearing…why am I always experiencing such grief every time I try to sleep? WHY?!' The haunting question speaks itself throughout my disturbed actions.
"Shut up, wench! You're giving us a headache!" One of the many cruel women guarding me commanded, her tired, hard eyes glaring knives at me over her shoulder. The sound won't silence screeching itself out of me. It goes on and on, slowly becoming my only function. Failing her attempt to block out my screaming by clamping her hands over ears for a few minutes, the same woman rises from sitting on her side with the small group of other ladies, walking over to me and raises her hand high. An unexpected, stinging slap to my already bruised left cheek cuts me off, the sound dying down monetarily in my throat.
I'll choose the same path even if I get hurt
The one and only person in the world
The one who gave me love doesn't listen to others
"I said shut up, wench! Stop screaming your lungs out, lowlife! Don't make me repeat myself!" She threatens haughtily. "Unless you've got something important you're ready to confess," A hand closes around the unkempt fringe of my tangled, blond hair that always hides the right side of my face, yanking my head up higher than her own as she continues her rant, my eyes stretched as wide as possible as they search her black ones, frantic with fear.
"Do you? Well?!" She demands. "N-N-o-o..." I stammer, the words coming out strangled and hardly heard. Her unforgiving eyes drill into me some, her infuriated orbs burn disappointment and loathe while speaking rhetorically with obvious disdain in her tone, "Of course not. What less can you expect from a widow-bitch?" Another smash is struck to the side of my spinning head before she lets go, giving up and turning away to the other women, who's audible murmuring and annoyed stares peer at me. I simply look away, holding back my tongue and biting my lips from making a response, although I want to cry out from the remaining, soaring pain and express my injured pride, but I know it'll only bring more anger from my flustered, female captors. Mentally reminding myself of the last struggle I gave them, when they were so enraged that I wouldn't answer they're confusing questions and stop thrashing around, that they called the men over.
Oh God, please, I don't ever want that to happen again. The immense, physical branding they forced all over my body has withered my will to dissent. I shivered inwardly to myself, thinking of the sadistic grins, harsh laughter and burning eyes of six, evil men that laughed at my squirming pleads, who closed around me with my back against a wall. Stripping me of my clothing quickly, each man violating every inch of my virgin body with rough, worn hands that slowly groped over my individual privacy. Thrusting themselves into my most forbidden areas saved for only Marco; for agonizing hours over hours, the whole event raped me of my spirit. A slight whimper escapes me when I focus on the mental and physical pain I've just received.
'A-At least this time it was only a few smacks, that still hurt, but it could have been worse…How much more of this can I take, though?' I ask myself, letting myself ponder my future, 'until I die of abuse, insanity and a broken heart?! Surely I can't be expected to endure this breaking torture for ever? Or is pain, the numbness of it and misery my only destiny? Is surviving this daily burden alone my only purpose of life? Will I ever escape such horror?' Grim, hollowing questions fill my sorrowful, morbid head.
'Marco, oh Marco, why aren't you here to save me? I know you're gone, but, why won't you ever visit me outside my recurring nightmares? You were always there to hold me together, so why not now? When I need you so much…I miss you so much that my heart feels like its suffocating. Being trapped here is tearing me apart. I just want to touch you, lean into you, smell you, see you, have your strong, gentle arms around me, your big, boy-ish grin lighten my senses and enjoy you a little longer then what was decided for us. If we could only cross the border of life and death, at least once…I'd be so fulfilled. Nothing else would matter compared to you,'these hopeless wishes bring only more depression and before I know it, I feel small, formed beads roll slowly down my face that eventually blur my vision, like in my dream.
Everything coloured swirls, blurring out of sensible focus and I lower my head further, trying to hide my pitiful state for those monsters to avoid attacking again. I wish I could simply brush the tears from my face, but like everyday, I'm tied securely to a rough, wooden pole coming from the stone ground that scratches against my bare shoulder blades, the taunt ropes around my clothed ribs, under my breasts constricts breathing and the slicing binds at my bare wrists and socked ankles assure no self-sufficient escape. I usually hang here until the majority of the male fiends return home late pretty much every evening, when the women rant to them how I've been so uncooperative and a dirty, pleased look always surfaces on at least one of the men's twisted faces.
They have dinner, ignoring my obvious hunger and presence, unless it's to snap or make a rude comment about me. It's after dinner when all the present people gather around me, the headman releasing me and they decide together what my punishment is after the round of male questioning is unsuccessful. If I've put up even the slightest negative reaction, the men gang up on me and the women jeer in the background, and depending on how much I've resisted, the amount of pain they deal and for how many hours can be nearly unbearable, that I'll pass out at times and wake to find myself strapped back up on that awful pole for display of hateful people.
A defeated shrug heaves through me. 'There's no use in thinking about it,' I tell myself, 'I know the different kinds of pain so well now that it's became monotonous, to be expected and I brace myself with anticipation when nightfall comes. It feels like I've been in this cycle for years, but it's only been about a few weeks of a month. I'm just so tired…so tired of all this mortifying harassment already…I just want out of it all…I want to be with my Marco…sweet Marco, you're my only happiness, my only real truth to guide me through this living hell.' With somewhat comforting thoughts easing my heartache, I let my heavy eyes shut themselves, allowing the last remaining tears to fall from my face. This simple action gives my mind to some much needed, desirable, peaceful sleep.
When I sleep after crying too much
Hold me tight, so I don't lose you
While my conscious settles and I eventually lose use of my limbs as I begins to dream, I think of Marco yet again, smiling wide and holding me close against him, saying lovely promises with his soft, happy voice filling the crisp air as we stand in lush grass, watching a beautiful sunrise make it's way to be seen through forest range; together. I grasp this wistful memory I long for, praying for it to stay and the joy it radiates spreads itself through out my soothed soul.
'I love you, Marco…' Somewhere in my sleep, I feel my lips turn up into a light, fond smile; the first I've accomplished in a long time.