Unfortunately, I don't have Breaking Dawn with me, so a lot of small details are most likely incorrect. And my vows are quite shaky.
This is the longest thing I've ever written, but was really fun!
I feel incredibly sorry for Jasper.
Its probably hard enough having to deal with everyone's emotions, but today, he's probably in an emotional seizure. With all these excited, and in Mike's case, jealous, humans, it must be difficult. Its probably twelve times as hard with me throwing a couple arms, a leg, and a nostril's worth of nervousness and fear in every general direction.
I really am reconsidering whether vampires can vomit, because the sensation in the pit of my stomach is not quite pleasurable.
Jasper made his way over to me.
"How are you doing, Edward?" he muttered. His power couldn't even try to withhold me.
I picked up one of Esme's pillows and screamed right into it, then hastily tore it apart with my teeth, then ripped the velvet into smaller pieces with my hands.
He chuckled. " And there's my answer."
Not wanting to be around my teeth, he carried on to helping Alice with fixing the last couple of flower arrangements for the reception. Alice. If it weren't for Alice, I would be able to see my literally blushing bride. But thanks to the little monster (if you had ever seen her plan a wedding, you would know what I mean by monster), I have to be in solitude. How I wished Vegas was still a possibility. I wouldn't have to be on the opposite side of the house, and Esme wouldn't have to worry about her furniture trimmings. Alice would see whenever I would attempt to cross the barricade, and immediately defense was taken, with Emmett and Jasper as Bella's bodyguards. And of course, it didn't help much that she was translating Shakespeare's works into Latin and Greek over and over again.
I needed to calm myself down. Jasper had stopped trying. Hmmm…Wuthering Heights? No. The Scarlet Letter? No. I scanned Carlisle's variety of novels in his office, but couldn't find one that suited my needs. I wanted something that was purely objective, that I didn't need to put in my opinions about Bella or the rest of my life. Something certain. Fact. I searched a bit more till my fingers rested on a medical encyclopedia. Good enough. Until it made it worse. As I flipped, all I found were symptoms I would probably be having if I were human right about now.
Hyperventilation, clammy palms, extremely quick heartbeat, dry mouth. Funny, I thought, as the book says nervousness can be caused by withdrawal from drugs. Bella is my drug. Exactly my brand of heroin. I sighed.Bella. It was hard to fathom the thought that I would finally be marrying this missing piece of the puzzle that was my life, which I had been waiting for a century to find. The missing piece which was making me unnecessarily nervous. I had told her she would be the death of me. For the first time over the course of the engagement, I had wanted to postpone the wedding. For my selfishness, of course. Saving myself the pain. The pain of looking into her eyes at the altar when she finally realizes that she, this absurdly beautiful creature, doesn't love me, a cold monster, the living boogeyman, let alone want to marry me. What if standing before the reverend, that maternal instinct sets in, and she wants to be a mother, something she simply cannot do with me. What if she doesn't want to become a monster, something I've been longing for, but never known possibly hearing could hurt that much. What if, the one thing I live for and love, doesn't live for or love me back. Like I had feared.
Argh. Maybe I'm overreacting. I hope I am. Maybe if I saw my bride I would be assured nothing was wrong. Poor Bella, going through the ultimate torture of getting ready for her wedding day. Primping, crimping, painting, poking, all from Alice's command, like a test dummy. And I'm sure she's acquired Rosalie as a minion.
Hmmm. Maybe they've lost their deep concentration on their mental barricades. Let's check, shall we?
Latin, latin. Greek, greek. Oh please Edward, you should know me by now. Oh, and by the way, she looks gorgeous. Perfect even. Latin, Greek, Latin, Greek.
Alice with her usual defense. Rosalie now moved on from the last Backstreet Boys CD to the Wedding March, getting festive.
I continued fidgeting, tapping my toes and bending my fingers as far back as possible. The more I checked my watch with each passing second, the more it felt like time was going backwards. As if with every minute closer to the ceremony, the longer the wait was becoming. And Emmett was supposed to be impatient. Maybe Emmett couldn't contain his thoughts?You can dance, You can jihive! Havin' the time of your life! Oooh, see that girl! Watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen!
So Emmett is reliving the glory days. His crush on ABBA was enough to make me laugh, but the chuckle didn't come. The vision of my bulky brother in tight pants quickly diminished any needs to laugh and replaced them with needs to gag.
Dammit. I hate being a crippled mind reader. Its bad enough having to live with an onslaught of thoughts I don't want to hear, but the one day they become useful, my head fills up with foreign languages and pop music. Jasper was quoting harlequin romance books. Which was also terribly annoying. Esme and Carlisle were greeting guests, and hadn't seen Bella. Yet. Esme would soon be replaying her favorite scenes from Dirty Dancing, and Carlisle would recite medical terms alphabetically. There was no use trying to get into my family's mind. Renee! Of Course!
Bella looks so-Oh yes Alice, French nails are my signature.
And then she said it. After the honeymoon, I will surely rip Alice apart with my teeth. Although she probably isn't as delicate as the pillow. But I have to hand it to her; if there's one thing she's good at its distractions. And wedding planning.
The honeymoon. I won't even go into details, because I can't even bear thinking about it. I am surely the reincarnation of the cowardly lion.
Half past three. In half an hour Bella will be walking down the aisle. In the next half hour I will have gone insane. Unless I see her.
Making my way out the window, through the kitchen. Even the trip from the top floor to the bottom invigorates me, relieving a miniscule amount of stress. And then, out of nowhere, pops Rosalie.
"Rosalie, I suggest you get out of my way before I explode."
With this, she started walking forward, forcing me to back into the counter. What scared me, though, was the determined look on her face, her now ocher eyes pouring into mine, almost as if they were looking for something.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you are terrible! You honestly can't be having second thoughts!"
"Yes I can…"I mumbled, my head held down.
"Sit down, now."
So we sat on the cold hardwood floor, not that we noticed the temperature.
"So why exactly are your hands so fidgety?" She asked.
At this moment I completely lost control of my emotions. I hope Jasper is out of the vicinity. I let myself bury my face in my hands.
"Rosalie, what if when she's about to say 'I do', she finally figures that she doesn't love me. That she doesn't want to be changed, that she wants children, that she doesn't want to be a monster. What if, Rose, she doesn't want to marry me. That she never could, and never would. And what if she wants to run off with Mike Newton, or Jacob for that matter? It's probably better for her, I suppose..." At the last sentence I dropped my face deeper into my palms.
Rosalie lifted my chin, and to my surprise, slapped me across my right cheek.
"Dammit, Edward! You're completely oblivious! And stupid! Really stupid! Do you really believe, that after all of this time, Bella never loved you? If you forgot Edward, she risked her life to save you! To save all of us! And not to mention that she broke an immeasurable amount of bones to be with you! I know Edward, that I haven't made much of an effort to be friendly with her, but I do know that she is the only human I've met who would get rid of everything she has to be with a crazy, foolish, mythical creature."
"Do you remember your depression Edward?"
I winced, remembering.
"No one doubts you love her, Edward. I certainly don't. At the altar you'll be given proof of how much she loves you. She loves you, brother, she really does. So, in ten minutes- you listening? In ten minutes, you're going to march out in front of those people, she's going to slip that ring on your finger. You, Edward, are going to return the favor."
She started for the door, and right before her hand landed on the doorknob, she turned her head to face me.
"Oh, and by the way, Newton and the Mutt have nothing on you."
She said this with a grin, and I ended up grinning back. She continued out the door.
You're welcome. Rosalie's thoughts.
Never, in a million years, would I have expected Rosalie to be the one giving me a pep talk on my wedding day. Suddenly all of my qualms of nervousness from earlier seem foolish. I, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, am getting married to the love my life, who I will be spending a very happy eternity with.
Alice's footsteps echoed through the hallway.
"You're watch is off, you're walking down the aisle in a couple of minutes." Her shrill voice stated. She bent and quickly shined my shoes, straightened my tuxedo jacket, and mussed my hair the slightest bit.
"Thank you, Alice, for everything. This wedding wouldn't have survived without you."
"You're welcome." She smiled. "You look very dashing, I must be good at this!"
I pulled her into an embrace, for keeping me sane all these years.
"Now go, in about…26…25…24…uh, just go in twenty seconds."
She skipped off.
As I stepped down the staircase acting as the aisle, my nerves made an appearance again. I was greeted to the thoughts of my brothers, good luck; break a leg, so on and so on.
And then, Rosalie sat at my piano, placed her hands at the old ivory keys, and began the wedding march.
And here we go. The thought was my own.
Alice made her way down the aisle, accompanied by Jasper, my best man.
And there it was. The sound only the vampires in the room could hear. The door slowly opening.
Bella, my bride, looked magnificent. Spectacular even. She was more beautiful than she was yesterday, or any other day for that matter. If it was possible. Glowing, radiant, so many available adjectives I could use, but heavenly was the one I was thinking as I spotted the crimson on her cheeks. My chin must have been relaxing on the floor.
What was a real miracle though, was that as Bella and her father made their way, there were no thoughts in my freakish head. Not my brother's, not my soon-to-be father-in-law, not the reverend's, not even my own. For once in my vampire lifetime, my mind was a soundproof box. Not that I was paying any attention to this miracle. She was being handed off to me now.
It took incredible restraint not to touch her face, to reach out and just hold her. She would soon be mine. Soon.
As the reverend spoke, I could barely pay attention, For I was still gaping. Never mind killing Alice, I shall thank her first.
"Do you, Edward Anthony Cullen, take this woman, Isabella Marie Swan, as your lawfully wedded wife?"YOU DO! YOU DO!
Bella was crying. Tears of joy. I would be too.
"And do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take this man, Edward Anthony Cullen, as your lawfully wedded husband?"
I held my unnecessary breath. As she looked up at me from under her eyelashes, she said the words I was overjoyed to hear.
I planted my ring on her shaking hand. It looked beautiful on her fourth finger. Returning the favor.
She did the same on my now shaking hand. These human reactions sure are bewildering.
"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride!"
I swept Bella up so fast, the spectators probably got suspicious. I didn't care. I passionately kissed my wife, and no one would stop me.
It seemed like time had stopped, which was very pleasant, in my current situation. Air, Edward, she needs air. Emmett.
I reluctantly stopped.
She was smiling so wide, I thought she would break her beautiful face.
We turned to face our guests, all smiling, or crying. None of them would compare to our happiness. Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.
There were quite a lot of emotions in the room. Happiness,care.
But none of them could compare to the joy and love I felt for my wife. None.
I feel incredibly sorry for Jasper.