Disclaimer: Magic Knight Rayearth does not belong to me. But the poem does, even though it sucks, kay?! SO NO STEAL!!! (Yeah... I forgot to put it up the first time, but I remembered this time! Yes, I did!! ^_^)
What is this? This emotion... wait. Pause.
This I need to know, what is the cause
This pain inside, this deep feeling
It makes me cry, my soul unreeling
I want the answer, to why I ask
"What's wrong with me? What's my task?
Why can't I be happy, and laugh with my friends?
Didn't I say I'd be there with them, till the end?"
I'll look for the truth, go on a search
Back to the place, and kill this hurt
I'll look for answers, and search for clues
I'll open my heart, and my soul, too
Chapter One: Unknown Emotions
Umi stared up into the night sky. It had only been about a week after they visited Cephiro again. But in a way... she felt as if more than forever has passed by. It was lonely and BORING here at school, where you can't fly, or make a stream of water burst out of your hand at a single word. It was... so... regular. Your friends don't exactly talk about the same things that you do. They don't care about creatures that are bigger than houses. They don't care about other worlds that bring happiness and smiles to her face. Well, they can't exactly care, can they? How can they when they never even heard about that stuff?
And besides that, Hikaru and Fuu go to different schools than her. The only time they could visit was during weekends, and even then there's parents who want to do stuff with you.
Umi used to love that stuff. She used to love being able to spend time with her parents during weekends. It used to be such a rare thing. But now... when those times come, she rather go back to Cephiro, and laugh with Hikaru, Fuu, and the rest of them. But now, those rare times are... well, rare.
Umi went back into her room, and slid slowly onto her bed. It came again. This... feeling. This wasn't a good feeling. Whatever it was, it was really bothering her. It slowly happened during her adventures in Cephiro. And after her adventures, this feeling kept staying with her after it had developed. How awful. She had no clue what is was, and how it keeps coming back whenever she goes to Cephiro. She'll find out what it is sooner or later. She will...
Clef sat down on a chair, and watched as the sun glistened over the radiant land.
"Peaceful enough for you, Guru Clef?"
Clef got up and turned around. His eyes softened. "Hello, Ferio."
"Why up here all alone?"
"Because that's all I can do now that all the excitement is over."
Ferio stared down at the land, and suddenly, a question popped into his head. "Guru?"
"Have you ever fallen in love before?" he blurted.
Clef's eyes widened at those words. And then, he smiled, having it reach his eyes. "Why, Ferio?"
"Well... I just don't think that anybody can live their entire lives without loving anybody once. You must have been in love before... right?"
Clef sighed, listening to Ferio talk.
"But I am sorry, Guru, if I had offended you in any way," Ferio said hastily.
Clef shook his head. "Well... once..." Clef whispered.
"Do you mind telling me?"
Clef shook his head once more. "I do not mind... I am just afraid that you might not want to hear about it... if you truly knew the topic of which you want me to speak of... for you have once experienced this, and the outcome was quite similar..."
"I wish to hear."
Clef sighed, and nodded. "Love... well, I must say, it has been CENTURIES since that feeling came to me."
"How old were you?"
"Just eighteen, and it lasted for one to two centuries. I never did again."
"Was my sister alive then?"
Clef shook his head. "You sister came two hundred years after my emotions. Before her, there was still a pillar... and her name was... Riana, though I was not there to see it when your sister became the pillar, for back then, none of us but the strongest hearts ever saw what happened during one of those... initiations..."
"You were quite young, Guru. Even now, I am only about a hundred," Ferio said, and sat down on a chair, which was next to a couch that Clef sat on. "And it is now that I met Fuu..."
Clef nodded. "I was young, and I was foolish. Riana had been a pillar for very long... too long... I was not even a guru back then. Nobody had ever seen the pillar's face, except for those who were connected to her personally. I, luckily, was the son of one of the closest families to her. She was all alone and had no family, for hers died when she was young.
"When I first saw her, at the age of nineteen, I was awed by her beauty. She had hair the color of a sleek sword. Her green eyes shone with royal attention and so much more. You might say I fell under some sort of spell. I was so entranced that I forgot to bow. Then, somebody hit me on the head, and I snapped out of it. But even when I bowed, I could not stop looking at her face."
Ferio nodded, smiling a bit. "Fuu... That was exactly how I am with her these days. I can't stop staring at her beauty and spirit."
Clef nodded, and continued. "Afterwards, whenever I trained under my teacher, her face kept appearing in my head, and I'd keep messing up. My teacher saw right through me... He figured that the only way for me to understand what I was putting myself into was to go confront the pillar. I knew that if I did that, I would be rejected, for the pillar could not give up her own feelings to others. And already, I had loved the pillar for over fifty years...
"And once, after I had loved her for over a century, I went to see Riana. She smiled at me with her never-ending eyes. I stuttered out part of my confession, but couldn't get the rest out. She tried to ask me what it was that I wanted to tell her, but instead, I shook my head, and ran off.
"Then... one hundred years later, my teacher died, and I became the guru. That changed everything, for it was my teacher who kept me from telling Riana about how I felt. So after he died, I had nobody there to watch over me. I chose that time to confess to Riana about my love for her... I was still so young, and so very foolish.
"And then I told her one day, in secret. Her hand went to her mouth in shock. I left, in fear of what she might have told me. In fear of the rejection that she would give me. Six months later, a new pillar had to be found, for Riana died. And then, your sister, Princess Emeraude became the pillar one month afterwards."
Ferio listened, and had a sad look on his face, remembering his sister.
"I had then vowed to never love anymore," Clef said. "I changed myself into a child's form, and swore to myself to never have your sister experience what I had to go through. The blame I had put on myself for losing one pillar. I cried so hard after I learned of Riana's death, for she did not tell me that she felt ill. In fact, I heard that when she was ill, she went all out to have it not to be heard by my ears of her sickness. It was then I knew that it must have been my fault that Riana died. I never loved again afterwards."
Ferio stared at Clef as he sat back and closed his eyes, exhausted at the memories that came rushing back to him.
"But it didn't work out for my sister," he whispered.
"Yes," Clef replied, his eyes still closed. "Emeraude still fell in love, with Zagato, and I couldn't protect them at all from their emotions. I couldn't save Emeraude and Zagato, just as I couldn't save Riana from my own feelings..."
"Have you ever planned to tell us this?" he asked.
Clef shook his head. "Nobody has ever asked me, so I never exactly considered that option. But now you know, Ferio. I would truly appreciate it if you did not relate this story to anybody, unless I gave to consent to do so."
Ferio nodded. "I apologize once more, Guru. I did not mean to bring up such an... uncomfortable topic for you."
Clef shook his head. "I am all right. It was time to finally confide into somebody about my past. It has been too long..." Clef then opened his eyes, and stared into space. Riana... he said to himself. I'm... sorry...
Umi sat up on her bed. This was really... really... weird. She didn't like this feeling. Not one bit. It was a strange feeling, and it wouldn't go away.
"I hate this," she mumbled.
Umi then got up, and stared at the stars once more.
"I..." I'm yearning for something... she realized. Something... that I just can't reach right now... No matter how hard I'm trying...
Umi jumped at the sound of the telephone ringing. She picked it up. "Hello?" she asked.
"Hey, Umi! This is Hikaru!" said the jumpy and happy voice on the other line.
Umi smiled to herself, glad to hear from her close friend. "What's up?"
"Just wanted to let you know... that WINTER BREAK IS THREE WEEKS FROM NOW!!!!" screamed the girl.
Umi winced, but laughed. "So are you saying..." she hinted.
"Let's go back!" laughed Hikaru. "And this time stay MUCH longer!"
"Yes," Umi said softly. "I want to do that."
"So you can then?"
Umi nodded. "My parents will be away this winter vacation on a business trip. I can say I'm staying with you or Fuu. They'll understand."
Umi smiled again to herself. "I'll talk with you in three weeks, Hikaru."
Umi then hung up, and sighed. Maybe if I go back... I can find out what this feeling is... Cause not knowing is really torture for me...
Clef sighed as he stared out into the night sky. He then looked at his child-like form. Maybe... Just maybe... it was time for a change.
"Presea," he called.
Presea appeared at his side. "Yes, Guru Clef?"
"What do you think... if I looked a bit more... older?"
Presea smiled. "I think that it would be time."
"I feel that maybe a more... adult look would be more suitable for me now?" he suggested.
Clef then smiled. "Now that Emeraude is gone, and Hikaru is the pillar, I doubt that I will need this form anymore. We needn't depend on the pillar to not sway her emotions away from this land. I do not need to be there to protect from her own feelings," he whispered, and getting a confused expression from Presea.
"What do you mean, Guru?" she asked. "Did something happen?"
Clef shook his head. "But besides that, and my being... How are you and... Eagle faring?" he asked.
Presea blushed lightly. "Nobody would expect to see us together, didn't they?" she laughed unsteadily and a bit embarrassed.
Clef chuckled. "Well, I, for one, am not really concerned about it. I am happy for you. Eagle is a nice and... soothing soul. He might have been able to calm you down back then when it comes to the topic of... Mokona."
Presea sighed. "Mokona... I remember Mokona," she smiled softly. "I was not the only one who'd get excited when it comes to Mokona. Umi would too."
Clef nodded. "Umi..." he whispered. Magic Knights...
Three weeks passed...
Umi packed with her an entire suitcase, and pulled it along with one hand. The other held a bag of goodies and food for the others. This would help her brooding mood. Going back to Cephiro, that is. It'd be nice to see everybody once more and it might lift her mood up a bit. Her parents didn't like the fact that during the past month, she had been really out of it. When they left, their worried expressions showed. Umi had to smile until they left to keep them from staying. And now, she was packing. Afterwards, she locked up with her keys, and placed them into her pocket.
Umi got to the tower just in time, dragging her load with her. "Am I late?" she asked, smiling.
Fuu and Hikaru shook their heads. "It wouldn't have made a big difference if you got here ten minutes later. They can wait," Fuu said.
Umi nodded. Then, they all linked hands, holding onto their stuff. In a second, a flash of light appeared, enveloping the girls.
Umi saw that this time, their landing was a bit further away. "We gonna fall again!!!" she shrieked. "And with all this luggage too!!!"
Fuu sighed as they fell from the sky. "Maybe there's a way to wish for us to land STRAIGHT onto the ground next time..."
Suddenly, as the three of them fell (with their luggage) they saw tiny dots. "Are they... people?!" Hikaru yelled.
Fuu squinted. "YES! IT'S THEM!!!" she screamed happily.
"Whoa... whoa... WHOA!!!" Umi yelled.
Suddenly, a gust of wind blew up at them, and slowed down their fall. Fuu landed into Ferio's arms, as did Hikaru into Lantis'.
"Great timing!" Umi yelled, landing on her feet onto the ground. "But I thought only Fuu had wind for her magic..."
"I gave her magic to her, Umi. I should at least know some of it," said a voice.
Umi turned around, and gasped. "Guys?" she whispered.
Hikaru and Fuu stopped hugging Lantis and Ferio, and turned to see what Umi was talking about. "HUH?!?!" the two girls gasped, and ran up to Umi.
"Is that... CLEF?!" Hikaru asked.
Umi stared at the new Clef. "How old... are you supposed to look now?" she asked.
"Yeah..." Fuu agreed. "How old?"
Clef smiled. "I don't know, but I am supposed to look older than I did before." (Let's just say he looks about how he looks in the OAV, all right?)
"Why, though?" Hikaru asked. *The three girls just crowding and gawking at Clef.*
"I... I..." Clef stuttered, backing up a bit from the girls with the hawk-like big eyes.
"I think you've scared him enough, girls," Presea laughed, walking into the scene with Eagle's arm around her waist.
"PRESEA!!!" Hikaru yelled, running to her and hug her.
"It's been a while, Hikaru!" Persea laughed.
Fuu went back to Ferio, but Umi just stood there.
"It is... that bad, Umi?" Clef laughed.
Umi smiled softly. "You look... fine..." she whispered. "Shall we go find our rooms, or will you lead us to them?"
Clef bowed slightly. "Follow me."
Umi sighed, and picked up her stuff. She didn't like this. Whatever the feeling was, it's returning. I think I might find out this time, now that I'm here. I have a couple weeks to try... She then turned to Hikaru and Fuu. "Come on, guys," she smiled. "Let's go up to our rooms!"
Fuu looked at Umi, and was soon walking behind Umi and Clef to go to her room. She walked alongside with Ferio.
"What is wrong with Umi?" Ferio asked, showing Fuu that she wasn't the only one who thought something was up with Umi.
Fuu shrugged. "I don't know, but I think she's keeping something from us."
"Did you ask her?"
Fuu shook her head. "She looks... closed up, for some reason."
Ferio hugged Fuu closer to her. "You should really talk to her."
Hikaru and Lantis walked next to them. "Hey!" she smiled.
Fuu smiled back.
"Where's Umi?" Hikaru asked.
"In front of us," Fuu replied, pointing to her.
Hikaru stared at Umi's back, and frowned. "Do you think we're being... selfish?" she finally asked.
"Selfish?" Fuu repeated, and then, realized what Hikaru meant by that question. "Oh... dear..." she whispered.
Hikaru slumped down a bit. "We left her all by herself, didn't we?" she mumbled.
"I got so caught up in seeing Ferio again..."
Lantis hugged Hikaru closer. "Yes. Maybe it would be nice for you and Hikaru to spend some more time with Umi. She must be lonely."
"But we came to see you guys..." Hikaru started.
"We can wait. Best friends should always come first..."
Umi unpacked her stuff, and sat down on the big comfy bed. She then got up and ran to Fuu's room. She smiled. "We're going to have fun here, aren't we?" she laughed to Hikaru and Fuu.
They both turned around from helping Fuu organizing her stuff and smiled. "Yes!"
"What shall we do first?" Fuu asked.
"Well, I heard that tonight they are holding a banquet..." Hikaru said. "Shall we go?"
"Wouldn't it be ill-mannered not to?" Umi smiled. "But..." she said, faltering. "I didn't really bring anything formal to wear..."
"AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN!!!!"
The girls' heads jerked towards the door, and saw that another old friend arrived.
"Caldina!" they said.
"Well, no hugs for me?" she said, appalled. The three girls got up, and ran to her.
"And what do you mean, 'that's where I come in?' " Umi asked, after the hugs.
Caldina smiled at them. "We have a wardrobe to try out for tonight!" she declared. "Come on! We're gonna have fun!"
Umi shifted around a bit. "I don't know..." she said. "I mean... Yeah... We should go... but... it's not like I have anybody to impress or anything."
Caldina sighed. "That doesn't MATTER!" she said, exasperated. "What matters is that you should have some fun!"
Umi shook her head. "I'll look ugly anyway..."
"Please, Umi. You MUST come to the banquet. Besides," said Fuu. "Maybe you will find somebody there."
Umi smiled at her, and shook her head. "I'm not ready to really... BE with anybody yet, guys. I mean, yeah, seeing you two with Lantis and Ferio makes me happy, but that's because they are the COOLEST! Right now... I don't wanna get into anything I'm going to regret... especially here in Cephiro," Umi said the last part quietly to herself.
Hikaru and Fuu nodded, smiling. "You've matured a lot since we've come here, Umi," Fuu said.
Umi shrugged. "But not mature enough to not start a PILLOW FIGHT!!!" she yelled, and threw a pillow at Fuu. Soon, Hikaru and Caldina got into it too.
Five minutes later, Clef knocked onto the door, accidentally opening it. What he saw shocked him. There was Umi, Hikaru, Fuu, and Caldina on the big bed, feathers flying all over, still engaged in a pillow fight.
Umi turned her head around, and saw Clef. "Oops!" she laughed. "You know, Clef!" she yelled to him through all the shrieking. "We're gonna need new pillows tonight for Fuu!"
"And a vacuum!!" Hikaru shrieked, getting hit by Fuu.
"Do they know what a vacuum is?" Umi pondered, before getting hit by Caldina.
Clef continued to stare at the scene. Then, his eyes softened with a smile. "Have fun, girls," he said, bowed slightly, and left.
After all that commotion, Presea entered, raising an eyebrow at that mess. "Well..."
Hikaru laughed, and threw a pillow at her. Or... what's left of it. "Come on! Have FUN!"
Presea blocked the pillow from hitting her face. "Yeah, yeah!" she said. "Now come on! We got a banquet to prepare for."
Fuu tilted her head to one side in confusion. "But the banquet will be at night. The sun is hardly setting yet."
"Yes. Well, don't you want to find a dress to put on?"
"We can do that later," Hikaru said. "Right now, I think we should clean this up..."
The two girls agreed with her, and they gathered all of the feathers that they could find. After that, the five girls smiled and sat down on the bed.
"I wonder what I should wear..." Caldina mumbled.
Umi smiled at her. "Whatever you DO wear, I'm sure La Farga's gonna love it anyway!" The rest of the girls agreed.
"Umi..." Fuu said. "You'll come too... right?" She had a dubious sound in her voice. "I mean, just for the fun of it?"
Umi smiled. "I'll be there, Fuu. Don't worry. Oh... How much longer till the banquet is it now?"
"About maybe a couple more hours."
"Then do you want to start preparing?" Hikaru asked. "I mean, Lantis is going to be my escort."
"I... should get somebody to, huh?" Umi asked.
"You can come with us, Umi," Presea started.
"NO!" Umi argued. "I shouldn't... I CAN'T be an bother. That'd make me feel so bad and all. I can go by myself."
"But-" Fuu started.
"No but's about it!" Umi said determinedly. "I'm am NOT going to bother any of you. Do you all have a problem with that?" she glared, looking at them.
After a minute of gaping at her, the group of girls then smiled at her. "Thanks, Umi," Presea said. "You will be fine by yourself for a while. You've proven that to us. I keep forgetting how... strong you are."
"And single," Fuu put in.
"You're right. Just a big bother," Caldina yawned.
"We will most CERTAINLY do better without you tagging along."
Umi smiled at them. "You all make me feel so special, you know?"
Umi put on the blue dress she picked. The skirt was a bit above her knees, flowing out. The part that covered her waist acted like a belt, about five inches wide. The fabric on top part looked as if it was water, flowing gently around her sleeves, widening and closing at the end of the sleeve. The neckline was small, hardly showing any skin below her collarbone. "This is good," she smiled. "Not too revealing." Then, she put on white boots to match the outfit. All of this was provided by Caldina.
Hikaru had on a long, sleek red dress. The sleeves were short, ending above her elbows. The dress flowed down, touching the floor delicately. The neckline ended one to two inches below her collarbone.
Fuu's dress was a deep green, and curved around her body. It was strapless, and also ended at her feet. On the waist, there was a thin ribbon, tied behind her into a bow. She had on high heels, and was wearing contacts, instead of glasses. (I am SOOO scared of contacts!!! !!!)
The three left the room, to go down to the ballroom, hearing that the music had already started. Lantis and Ferio were standing at the entrance. They saw Fuu and Hikaru come down, and their eyes widened.
"You look... lovely," Ferio whispered, taking Fuu's hand and entering the ballroom.
"Hi, Lantis," Hikaru smiled.
"Come on," Lantis said, and held out his arm, which Hikaru took, and then they entered.
Umi stood outside, and smiled at them. They looked so happy... Umi loved seeing them like this. If only this moment could last forever for them. The music was fast right now, and didn't really give Umi a chance to think. She then smiled secretly to herself, and knew where to go to sooth herself down. So instead of entering the ballroom, Umi never walked in there. Instead, she moved away from the room, and then left the castle.
Ascot was walking around the ballroom, scanning around with his eyes.
"Guru Clef?" he asked, bumping into the guru.
Clef turned around. "Yes, Ascot?" he asked, still holding his staff.
"Have you seen Umi?"
Clef shook his head. "Is she not here?" "Yes. I'm just worried a bit..."
"Maybe she will arrive later because there is something that she needs to tend to before she can come. Don't worry, Ascot."
"But I already am..." he dragged. "I'll go look for her. She could be in trouble. She might be in danger. She-"
Clef held his hand up.
"You know... If I go look for her and bring her here, telling her that her friends miss her dearly, will you finally calm down? You are overreacting right now."
"I think that I should go, though..." he started.
Clef shook his head. "Stay here and entertain your friends. Don't worry, Ascot. I am quite sure that she is not in ANY sort of danger. I'll bring her here."
Ascot shifted around a bit, clearly still worried a bit about Umi not being here. "Are you sure?" he asked slowly.
"I am sure," Clef said. Then he chuckled. "You know, Ascot. You might have changed your form, but you still worry like a child."
"I DO NOT!" he argued.
Clef smiled and parted with Ascot, ready to go look around for Umi.
TOLD you no romance for Umi yet. But there will be! Trust me on that! Please review now!! Thank you, and buh byes!! ^_^