Disclaimer: Not mine.
Alone in her office the next morning, Claudia opened an e-mail window on her computer and retyped Nick's e-mail. Then she added a message of her own. Abby, here's what the men say about us when we're not around. They seem to think they're funny.
Finally, she began typing her own list.
A Guide to Dating a Professor
1.) Don't wear a skirt to boring meetings unless you want him staring at you the whole time. You're the one your boss will lecture for thirty minutes.
2.) Actually, disregard that. The lecture is annoying, but what comes after is more than worth it. Just make sure you remember to lock the office door.
3.) Getting him to do paperwork is easy - just tell him he'll be sleeping on the couch if he doesn't.
4.) Whatever you do, don't let him try to cook. He'll either poison you both or burn the house down.
5.) When he rambles for too long and you're sick of it, just kiss him. He forgets whatever he was on about and turns his mind to far more interesting things.
6.) The words "sexual harassment" make him extremely flustered, which is cute. Don't tell him that, though; he seems to think he's "too old" to be cute.
7.) If you want to win an argument, just give him a wide-eyed look - works every time. Not sure why, but it does. However, do it quickly, or he'll turn those bright blue eyes on you and you'll be the one melting into a puddle.
8.) Don't let his ex-wife get a rise out of you; as satisfying as the idea of punching her may be, the paperwork that would be involved is more than enough or a deterrent. Though there's no reason you can't visualise it. Whenever she shows up.
9.) Occasionally he goes off on a guilt trip because of the time he got you caught in a paradox. It hurts to see him like that, so just remind him that he fixed it and that you'd never hold it against him.
Claudia finished typing and looked over what she'd written. That should do it, she thought, and clicked Send.
"What are you up to?" asked Nick from her doorway.
She smirked. "Oh, just a little revenge."
"Do I want to know?"
She held up the printed e-mail and he went white. "So you and Stephen think you're funny?"
"Uh... About that... You see, the thing is..." She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms as his rambling trailed off.
"I should just apologize, yeah?" he said weakly.
"Too late for that. I've already written mine and sent the lot off to Abby." She laughed at his gobsmacked expression.
"What?" she asked innocently. "Turnabout is fair play, after all."