mistaken identity

for feilyn—maybe she was some sort of pyro magnet. ;;christmas request o2

(a/n) Feilyn's first Christmas fic: a loony crossover featuring Karin and Axel. This is a redhead ship that I can properly adore, given how much I hate Axel/Kairi.

(disc) Kingdom Hearts belongs to Disney and Square Enix. Naruto belongs to Viz and Masashi Kishimoto.


If Axel were in possession of a heart and capable of emotion, he long ago would have slit his wrists just to escape the sheer mind-breaking irritation that this girl was causing him.

"My god, if you're going to kidnap someone, do it right, you know? I mean, you didn't even sneak up—you just, what was that, a space-time ninjutsu? You just waltzed right in front of one of the most dangerous shinobi in the Five Nations, and, like, stole me? You introduced yourself. And I don't care how far you go, or where you take me, Sasuke will come for me, and you will be so very screwed over..." She didn't seem to be able to walk without talking, and Axel was very seriously considering setting her on fire.

"I'm very seriously considering setting you on fire," he told the redhead.

She scoffed. She actually scoffed. "Oh, please. I've lost count of the times Sasuke's whacked me with Amaterasu—that's fire that never ever goes out, by the way, unless he removes it—well, I was kind of mad at him at first, but he said he was really sorry, and you know how it is when you're learning a new technique, particularly such a powerful one, and... Well, you'll be feeling it for yourself, probably, when he comes to get me back..."

Why. Why. Why??? Axel mentally begged the powers that be. Is this girl seriously the one? Seriously? What kind of Princess of Heart wears hot pants?

"Listen, princess—"

"Who are you calling a princess?" the girl snapped. "Not that I mind that part so much, but you better start showing me some respect if you're going to start with the whole 'princess' deal. You could at least tie me up so I can break the bonds and escape heroically—"

"I'm calling you princess," Axel said through gritted teeth, "because you are one. Princess."

She stopped dead, yanking his arm back with surprising strength for her size. "Come again?" Her glasses somehow gleamed, despite the fact that they were walking through the Realm of Darkness, which theoretically meant that there should be no light to gleam off them. Or off her leather thigh-highs. Damn.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you do not stop walking here!" Axel snapped, hustling her along as best he could now that she was no longer cooperating. "Do you have any idea what happens when you stop moving in the Realm of Darkness?"

"No, no, what was that about me being—"

"Princess Kairi, I don't think you properly understand the danger I am putting you in—"

She stopped dead again. "Excuse me? My name is Ka-riiiiiiiiiiin," she said, dragging out the last syllable really obnoxiously, snapping off the N with a "duh" look on her face. "And the only person allowed to call me a princess is Sasuke, even if he won't..."

Her voice trailed off as the full implication of what she had said penetrated Axel's brain.

The wrong girl...

...I kidnapped the wrong girl...

...I KIDNAPPED THE WRONG FREAKING GIRL!

"Xemnas is going to kill me..." Axel said in a daze. "Going to kill me..."

Karin pouted. With big, pouty lips. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Turn around. I'm putting you back," Axel ordered, making up his mind. No one could find out. No one. Lucky Zexion was dead, so he couldn't sniff out this random lunatic's scent on his cloak.

"You're—what?" Karin asked, squinting. Then her eyes opened wide. "Oh, my god. Let me guess. You were supposed to kidnap some really important person and you goofed it up. Not that I'm not important. But you screwed up. I knew you were a terrible kidnapper, but I didn't know you were this bad..."

If Axel were in possession of a heart and capable of emotion, he would be hard-pressed to decide whether he wanted to kill her or tongue her all over. And then kill her.

.owari.

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Special Deleted Scenes:

I.

The tall, thin man disappeared into the black void, and Sasuke, Suigetsu and Juugo all glanced sideways at one another.

"You go," Suigetsu said to Juugo, "you're the one who's obviously hot on her."

"You go," Juugo retorted, blushing, "I can't be alone."

Sasuke avoided eye contact when they turned to look directly at him. "I'm team leader. I'm not going." He put on his best "stoic leader" face.

Silence.

"So, uhh..." Suigetsu scratched the back of his neck. "What now?"

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II.

The black hole opened up again, about twenty minutes later, depositing a still-talking Karin on the ground unceremoniously. All three boys had not yet moved.

"Thank god," Juugo whispered.

"Thank god," Suigetsu muttered, even more softly.

Dammit, Sasuke thought.