Two and a Half Men Plus Two Girls

Charlie/OC or Charlie/Rose

6th Season is fair game

What if Charlie fathered now teenage twin girls with one his numerous one night stands from the past? How will Jake react to having cousins he didn't know about? What will Evelyn do with her newly found granddaughters? Will Alan be thrilled about having two nieces? How will his favorite 'stalker' Rose react to the news? Let's see what ensues.

A/N: This is my very first 'Two and a Half Men' fan fiction story. Please bear with me!

A/N2: I worked as a legal secretary at a power company for about a year several years ago. I had some exposure of various legal documents the company was sent or had been served.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Two and Half Men', CBS and Warner Brothers does. I only own my original characters.

The Subpoena

Charlie woke up next with his latest one night stand. She woke up soon afterwards with a smile. He spooned her as they resumed their love making. They were disrupted by some noises from downstairs.

"Listen Zippy or Whiney Pinhead, if you keep on annoying me about your food preferences," a woman's booming voice said. "I will see to it that you sleep on the deck."

"What's going on?" the girl asked.

"My brother Alan is annoying my housekeeper Berta over something," Charlie said as he got out of bed. "I'll check it out."

His date huffed and stayed in bed while Charlie got dressed.

"Will you be back for more love?" she asked.

"As soon as I kick my brother's ass," he smirked.

Charlie went down the stairs to see Berta grabbing Alan by his shirt collar. He just wanted to laugh, but knew better.

"Charlie, what do you want me to do with your brother," Berta asked. "This Whiney Pinhead here is driving me insane with his whining about his choice in milk among other things. Who is the boss around here?"

"I am," Charlie replied. "Just let the Whiney Pinhead go, I mean Alan. I'll deal with him later."

"Charlie, can you tell Berta the difference between whole milk, low-fat milk and acidophilus milk?" Alan protested. "She keeps on buying me the wrong milk again and again!"

"Alan, you keep up that whining and I will force you to pay rent," Charlie threatened. "The only reason why I don't charge you rent is that you and Jake are family."

"Don't I get a say in the grocery list?" Alan asked. "Jake can have all the chips, hot dogs, frozen pizza and pancakes he wants."

"Did someone say hot dogs and pancakes?" a teenage boy entered. "Did Berta bring some for me?"

"I am sure she did," Alan replied. "Don't you have homework to do? You have a science project due next week. How much have you done so far on that?"

"I haven't even started yet," Jake proudly responded.

"Are you telling me the truth?" Alan asked. "Or did you conveniently begin it and left it at your mother's house?"

"I never started it," Jake was slightly on the defensive.

"Get your ass to your room and begin working on your project!" Alan snapped. "You are now getting on my nerves!"

"Okay!" Jake walked slowly.

Alan just shook his head and was fuming about over how Jake still refused to take his education seriously.

"Charlie, come back!" the shrieking girl screamed from upstairs disrupting Alan's train of thought.

"I am coming right now!" Charlie shouted back.

A knock on the door interrupted Charlie from going upstairs to his bedroom. He slowly opened the door and saw a not so attractive young woman outside.

"Are you Charles Harper?" she asked.

"Yes, that's me," he replied with a small.

"Consider yourself served, have a nice day," she said as she handed him a document and left.

Charlie looked at the document and a read it to himself. He froze and dropped it on the floor. Berta and Alan saw that Charlie didn't move and they rushed to his side. Berta waved her hand across his face and got no response from her employer.

"Charlie, are you okay?" Alan asked and saw the document that was next to his brother's feet. "What is this paper?"

Berta squatted down and picked it up. She read it and shrugged.

"What does it say?" Alan asked.

"Charlie has been subpoenaed for a paternity test by one of his past one night stands," Berta was blunt. "She wants to know if Charlie fathered her twin daughters. Wow, his sperm probably found an egg or two to connect."

"I have to take some sort of test," Charlie came out of his trance. "I could be the girls' father. Who did I make love to and how long ago?"