Author's Note: This is a brand spanking new Harry Potter one-shot. And it's weird. I don't remember how my mind went off onto tangents, but I think it was frustration at how similar so many HP fanfics and plots seem to be lately. So I wanted something I've never seen before. It's not really going anywhere, but I was hoping to make readers think. As usual, my mind ignores many of the details of book 6 and 7 (still haven't read the last two-thirds of DH). Thanks to Persy, Jim, and ZanyMuggle for the help.

Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J. K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


Harry was drinking a beer, relaxing back in his favorite recliner.

He was reflecting on the joy of being a father. The good times always drowned out the bad. He wasn't sure how much credit he deserved, but Marvin was a great kid.

Harry's gut twisted in anxiety knowing that in some ways his life as a father was nearing its end. He swigged from the bottle to quell those thoughts.

He'd always known this day would come.

Marvin had been Head Boy, graduating top of his class at Hogwarts. After graduation he and three of his best mates went on two month long world tour. No girlfriends, no parents, just four young men hitting dozens of beaches, casinos, cruises, bars, shows, and dueling tournaments.

Today, Marvin was coming home and Harry was going to tell him all the things he'd been avoiding for the last eighteen years.

Harry sensed the activation of the floo and cast a pair of spells in front of the fireplace.

Marvin appeared feet first with a rucksack over his shoulder. He waved his wand to counter the first spell and neatly stepped over the affected area of the second.

"Dad," Marvin managed to greet with a smile before he was engulfed in a hug.

"You're looking great, Marv," Harry announced. "How was your trip?"

Marvin looked at him accusingly as he set his bag down. "Like you weren't checking on us constantly."

Harry snapped his fingers summoning their elf. She silently grabbed Marvin's bag and left a beer on the end table.

"I keep telling you it was coincidence that when you got arrested you were put in the Tijuana jail cell next to mine." Harry waved for his son to sit.

Marvin spotted the beer and sat on the edge of the couch directly opposite his father. "What's up?"

Harry took a long draw from the bottle and swallowed. He let the silence last until he realized he was making Marvin nervous. "It's time you and I have a talk."

Marvin looked up at his father hopefully. "Is this about my mother?"

"No," Harry answered immediately before correcting himself, "well… in a way. But… Tell me, how much do you know about when I defeated Voldemort?"

Marvin wasn't expecting that. "Only what'd been reported in the-"


"I know about horcruxes."

Harry smiled sadly having expected as much. "I figured. Luna or Hermione?"

"I got a lot of the details from Hermione after she somehow got convinced you told me about them."

Harry let out a small laugh. "Subtle."

"But she wasn't the one who told me about them in the first place."


Marvin shook his head negatively.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Who?"

Marvin took a slow drink of beer before admitting. "The ghost of Snape."

"Snape?" Harry nearly yelled back. "Snape! I told you to stay away from him. I knew he was going to try to-"

Marvin was sheepishly nodding and speaking in unison with his father. "He was going to try to turn me dark. Yes, you were right. As usual."

Harry frowned thinking of all the times he was tempted to destroy that wretched ghost. He looked at his son appraisingly. "Didn't work, right?"

Marvin rolled his head in exasperation.

"Just checking," Harry apologetically explained with a smile. "So you know that the horcruxes were pieces of his soul that he put into things."

"And one of them nested in your noggin through the curse scar," Marvin urged. "What's this have to do with my mother?"

"Nothing," Harry replied cryptically. "And everything."

Marvin pouted. "You know it's cruel to play with my fragile emotions. This is my mother we're circuitously not talking about."

Harry knew his son was joking but felt there was some truth behind it. "Alright, well after I defeated him, I wasn't doing too well. You know I left Britain for a couple years?"

"You disappeared completely. Met Mom. Had me. I have some vague memories of our cabin in Canada. I remember Hedwig perched on my crib."

Harry frowned. "You've seen pictures. I doubt you actually remember-"

"She pooped in my mouth."

Harry recalled when the precocious infant had grabbed onto the sleeping owl's leg. "Okay, so you do remember."

"I've never had a memory of her," Marvin admitted.

"You wouldn't," Harry said with conviction. "Because what no one else in the world knows is that back when we destroyed Voldemort's horcruxes, I still hadn't figured out how to get the one out of my head."

"Dad," Marvin said sitting up straighter. He knew the possibility of Voldemort rising again would be horrendous.

"I know how to now," Harry calmly said. "But I didn't back then."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that after I killed Voldemort's body, I still had the final piece of his soul in me."

Marvin was trying to see where all this was going. He was getting more and more pieces of the puzzle but he still couldn't see how they fit together.

"I was afraid I'd have to fight some grand mental battle with him. I mean he was probably more skilled at possession than anyone in centuries. But when I struck him down, I felt his resistance and defiance die. My scar stopped hurting and it was like a great pressure was lifted from me."

Marvin nodded. "Yeah, that was the prophecy you don't believe in."

Harry had had many arguments on the merits and truth of prophecies with his son and decided to sidestep this one. "Thing is, the soul and the scar were still there. Like some benign inert metaphysical goop."

"You're always so poetic when you talk about souls," Marvin chided.

"Only it wasn't benign."

Marvin's attention was quickly drawn.

"It wasn't malevolent or influencing me in anyway. But the fact that it was there, tied to my own soul, was killing me."

Marvin snapped his fingers and the house elf dropped off a new bottle of beer next to each man.

Harry set his empty off to the side. A touch of magic and flip of his thumb popped the cap on the new beer. "That was why I left. I didn't want anyone to know. It would've been hard to hide and I needed privacy to figure a way out. It took me over a year."

Marvin was doing the math in his head. "That's when you met her, wasn't it? Did she help you figure it out?"

"No," Harry said solemnly, waiting until he had his son's attention. He held eye contact without blinking. "That's when I made you."

The bottle fell from Marvin's hand and spilled on the floor. "Excuse me?"

"I made you. I created you. I tampered with forces no mortal should approach."

"This isn't funny!"

Harry gestured with his wand, instantly cleaning the spilled beer and setting the bottle on the end table. He looked at his son earnestly. "I don't know what it is."

Marvin looked down at his suntanned arms and pinched himself. "You… made me?"

"That's why I never-"


"And you-"


Marvin sighed. "You made me."

Harry just sipped his beer giving his son time.

Marvin was running through every unexplained and mysterious thing that ever happened to him. After five minutes of silence, he finally asked, "Why?"

Harry gave him a comforting smile. "I'm simplifying things greatly but basically there was too much soul in me. The inert goop was assimilated in with the rest of my soul. Before it could leech out the connection, but after I destroyed the Voldemort side it had nowhere to go."

Marvin shook his head. "The soul isn't a physical entity. It's not like an overfilled inkpot."

"It can be split, it can be joined," Harry argued. "It can be touched and it can be read. Either way, my first plan was to destroy some of it until it was a healthy size."

Marvin looked at his father skeptically. "Were you going to murder someone?"

"No," Harry replied. "If I wanted to split it off properly and make a horcrux, I'd need a murder. But I just wanted to chip away at it."

"And your second plan?"

"Second plan was to murder someone," Harry jokingly admitted. "But both of those plans just felt inherently wrong. That's why my third plan went in a completely different direction."

Marvin was listening half-heartedly and thinking to himself.

"I had too much metaphysical and not enough physical. It was either get rid of some meta or add more physicality."

Marvin sipped his beer. "I have half your soul?"

"No," Harry corrected. "You are half our soul."

Marvin was tempted to call bollocks on the well-meaning but hollow reassurance.

"Look, I thought that making you would change who I am. Make me into a different person, maybe a different attitude. But the truth is, inside me, I didn't feel any different. I got healthy, better, and had a newborn son to raise." Harry paused, knowing what Marvin was thinking. "It's not like I'm the Harry Potter bit or you're the horcrux bit. We're both mutts. We are who we are."

"We're Potters," Marvin announced with a familiar depressed chuckle.

"That we most definitely are," Harry agreed, saluting his son with the bottle of beer.

Harry was letting his son absorb the news. He knew more questions would be coming.

Marvin saw how patient his Dad was acting. "There's more, isn't there?"

"Just details. Nothing that can't wait."

"No, no," Marvin insisted, shaking his finger. "No more secrets. I don't want to come to terms with my unnatural origins only to discover I've got a twin in a jar in the basement."

Harry looked at his son curiously. "You're taking this rather well."

"Occlumency," Marvin asserted. "And I may have been a little drunk when I got here."

Harry gave Marvin a knowing look.

"Which you obviously knew," Marvin agreed. "But you're still stalling."

Harry gave Marvin the same look.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Now as opposed to when you were eleven?" Harry shrugged helplessly. "Fifteen? Sixteen?"

Marvin liked to think he could have handled this but still suggested, "Or never? Do I need to know this?" Marvin blinked. "Who else knows this?"

"No one," Harry assured him. "Well, Luna might. I certainly never told her but it wouldn't surprise me. A couple of times I really wanted to tell her-"

"No," Marvin begged. "Please, let's not. I don't… I…"

"Relax," Harry soothingly insisted. "I always wanted you to be the first to know. And yes, I think you need to know this. You're out of school now, a fully qualified wizard. Time to join the real world a bit more. People will come after you as an adult now, and a pretty famous one at that."

"I've thanked you for the fame enough times I think," Marvin said with a grimace.

"And I wanted you to be able to protect yourself," Harry added.

"I can protect myself just fine," Marvin argued.

"Not as well as I can," Harry pointed out.

Marvin had seen the things his father could do with a wand. "No one can as well as you can."

"Shucks," Harry jibed. "You'll make me blush."

Marvin rolled his eyes knowing how little his father cared for his own magical accomplishments. Harry had always been ten times more excited when Marvin mastered a spell than when Harry created a revolutionary one. "So how exactly does learning I'm motherless help protect me?"

Harry took a sip of his beer. "Figure it out."


Harry tried to hide how good it felt to still be called that. "Go on, Marv. You can do this."

Marvin sighed and grumpily took a swig of his beer. His father never missed an opportunity to keep him on his toes. He began wondering if there were specialized fields of soul magic available to him.

"Cold," Harry announced.

Marvin frowned. So not soul magic, maybe it was because this was information that was going to be used against them.

"Colder," Harry added.

Marvin fumed, "Will you stop…" Marvin paused as he realized his Occlumency shields hadn't even felt a tickle.

"Warmer," Harry admitted.

Marvin looked at Harry in shock and betrayal.

"Hot, hot," Harry cheered.

Marvin swore, "The bloody curse scar connection!"

Harry tapped his nose and pointed at his son victoriously.

"We can communicate through it?" Marvin frowned scrunching his face in concentration.

"Sure, I suppose. But that's not quite what I had in mind."

Marvin gasped. "You've been spying on me all my life!"

"No," Harry defended. "I easily could have, but I only used it in emergencies."

Marvin scoffed. "You expect me to believe that?"

"You will," Harry said with certainty. "Because I want you to know everything about our connection, how you were made, and how I feel about you."

"Let me just stew like a freak for a little longer," Marvin said.

Harry winced at the word. "Consider this: the connection cannot be blocked by normal Occlumency. It used to cause me so much pain and confusion. But that was because neither Voldemort nor I wanted to be connected. I've spent the better part of two decades figuring out ways to use it for mutually beneficial things if both sides were working together."

Marvin's eyes widened thinking unwise forces were being tampered with. "Oh Merlin. I really don't know want to know what you've figured out, do I?"

"I think you do," Harry said. "I think things will be much clearer as soon as we…"

"Dad," Marvin warned when Harry's voice trailed off. "Just what can our connection do?"

"We're two parts of the same soul," Harry explained. "I'd like you to manage to withhold your homo-erotic jokes for a second, but our soul or souls can join with minimal adverse affects."

"Our souls can join?" Marvin repeated.

"It'd only take a few seconds, but we'd have to join fully before dividing again."

Marvin looked disconcerted. "Did you make me with mitosis?"

"No," Harry said. "You were a baby and I was still me. I could explain it better, but ideally, I won't need to."

Marvin mimicked his father's knowing stare.

"The joining and dividing will have lasting effects."

Marvin didn't look surprised. "And just what sort of effects are those?"

Harry sighed and admitted. "I would know everything about your life. How you felt the first time you saw Hogwarts, what you smelled in second year that caused you to vanish your nostrils, what really happened to my old Firebolt, everything."

"That is so not fair!" Marvin pleaded. He shook his head. "There's no way we're doing the metaphysical nasty."

Harry winced knowing things would be so much simpler if they just didn't think that way. "You would also know everything about my life. Including everything I know about our connection, how to block that connection, how I made you, and probably a few spells you'd be better off not knowing."

Marvin blinked as he realized everything it would mean. "Better able to protect myself, eh?"

"You're an adult now, Marv. This is a decision only you can make. But in some ways, our lives will be starting over from the moment after we join. Everything from before then we'll know about each other. So I figure, if we're really going to do this, the sooner the better."

Marvin looked over at his father and knew he was being serious. "I need to think about this. You may be ready to rush headfirst in but I need to think about this."

Harry nodded as he stood up from his recliner. He walked behind his son and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You know if you have any questions…"

"Gee, you think I might?" Marvin muttered.

Harry patted him on the shoulder and left him alone in the room to think. "It's good to have you home."

Harry retrieved all the materials he needed and had begun preparing his master bathroom for a trance-induced joining.

The portrait of a Potter ancestor was watching curiously. "What are you doing?"

Harry raised a hand in the air and counted down from five. Right on cue, Marvin burst into the room. "Let's do it." He saw Harry was setting up for something before catching on. "You knew I was coming up here!"

Harry nodded.

"You were spying on me."

Harry shrugged and admitted, "I feel less guilty now that you know."

Marvin shook his head. "You wouldn't be pushing this unless you were completely certain it would work. And there's no way we're not going to do this eventually, so you're right. The sooner, the better."

"Funny," Harry grinned. "I was just thinking that."

"Dad! Stop that!"

"Sorry," Harry admitted. "I'll be good."

Marvin huffed. "This is weird enough as it is."

"I said I was sorry," Harry repeated. "Now strip down and cover yourself in honey."

Marvin just stared.

"Kidding," Harry said. "We just need to wear a couple of linked soul trap necklaces so we can meet up in their metaphysical room." Harry handed his son a necklace explaining, "You remember beginning Occlumency? How you'd meditate…"

"Bloody hell!" Marvin shouted at the top of his lungs.

"What? What is it?" Harry asked fearfully, wondering what could have gone wrong. "What's happened?"

Marvin looked at Harry as if he were inspecting some strange creature. "You didn't lose your virginity until my fourth birthday! That's insane."

Harry sighed and looked at his son. "You really want to go down this road?"

Marvin shrugged.


Marvin gulped. "Don't tell Bill."

"He'd kill you. I'm still thinking about grounding you."

"It was after their divorce. And it was an accident," Marvin argued. "I wanted to see if I could resist the Veela allure!"

"It doesn't work when you want to bang your friend's mum without the allure."

"I know that now," Marvin defended. "And I… hang on a second. Fleur!"

Harry knew it was pointless to deny, remembering his own encounter. "So that's why she was talking about a matching set."


Harry smiled. "I wanted a set of my own."

"Jason's mum? Celestina Warbeck? The Holyhead Harpies!"

"Look," Harry interjected. "We know some things about each other that we really don't need to know. Use Occlumency to lock them away and stop thinking about them."

Marvin flinched as memories were streaming by. "Great Merlin. I really didn't need to see Luna play thirty rounds of 'Do you think it'll fit?'"

Harry couldn't hide the grin spreading across his face.

"Oh stop smiling!" Marvin snapped, looking away from his father.

Harry put up a hand and diplomatically suggested, "Why don't we take a little time apart to sort through these new memories? That way we don't have to ever bring them up and we can pretend we don't have them."

"Yeah," Marvin quickly acquiesced. "That's probably a good idea."

Harry felt like burning off some magic while Marvin grabbed another beer and went back to the couch in the living room.

Harry was casting spells in rapid succession when he felt the connection flare angrily. Marvin had been blocking him out, but that emotion was too strong and bled through.

Harry briefly tried to think of what could have prompted such a reaction when the Sonorus-enhanced voice reached him.

"You lied! I knew it!" Marvin shouted. "I knew you were crying when I dressed up as Frankenstein's monster for Halloween."

Harry grumbled, knowing he did have something in the neighborhood of a breakdown that day. "Marv," he growled back urging him to think that one through.

"Oh! Oh…" the voice sounded apologetic. "Right."

Harry was beginning to wonder if he should've thought this plan through a bit more.

A loud shriek echoed through the air. "You named me after Marvolo? MARVOLO!"

Harry sighed. It was going to be an interesting dynamic for a little while.


Author's Note: Most of my ficlets like this can be taken as plot bunnies up for grabs or challenges meant to inspire others. I'm not taking this idea any further, but I'd love to see someone else do it. And yes, this ficlet title comes from The Killers "All These Things That I've Done." Or rather it comes from a Nike commercial that uses the song.