Pairing: Cartman/Kyle, mention of my all-time favorite X3 (you'll see)
Disclaimer: Don't own the SP boys, so don't sue me.
Authors Note/Warnings: I expect this'll be my last South Park fic for awhile, due to a sudden and overwhelming urge to restart my DBZ.
Kyman again (damn, I just can't get over this pairing, can I?). I really like Cartman in this. PH34R the kissing, sap, and boys love.
More lame titles :D
Kyle shuffled clumsily in his seat, fiddling with his zipper in an attempt to busy his slightly quaking fingers. Taking another prolonged sip of his drink, he turned quietly to his sworn adversary, nudging him and shivering from the contact.
"Um, can I have some…popcorn or something?"
Cartman passed him the snack of choice, seemingly somewhat absorbed in the mass of cinema sweets that were scattered across his lap. Kyle shoved a handful of popcorn between his lips, trying to keep his eyes from lingering on said area.
This whole thing was way too awkward.
"You can quit staring," Cartman broke the silence matter-of-factly, arms crossed over his newly toned chest. "I think it's a little too early for you to start undressing me with your eyes."
The redhead gaped, retching as a kernel chose this moment to become lodged in his throat. "I am not!" he blurted out, shrinking back in his seat from the onlookers who had glanced up at the outburst. He affixed Cartman with a humiliated stare, green eyes narrowed. "It's your fault! You sprung this on me!"
Cartman smiled a little smugly. "And you didn't say no. You could have. I thought disappointing me was a favorite hobby of yours."
"You're one to talk!" Kyle tried in vain to keep his voice down, covertly eyeing the candy-covered region between the larger's legs before he could stop himself. "You gave me AIDS!"
The brunette smirked. "And I just might again if you keep acting so damn cute."
Completely thrown off, the Jew gave an unconvincing "Hmph!" and turned away, shades of vibrant pink blossoming over his cheeks. He was torn between leaving out of embarrassment and slapping his pursuer over the face. However, deciding that a blow might instigate something ideal for Cartman's weight advantage, Kyle simply stood up and strolled over to a seat further away, face still flaming with crimson.
Shivering, Kyle gave what he hoped was a spiteful glance at the larger boy. "I'm not going back over there, fatass!" he insisted, arms folded. "You're being an asshole! I should have known this was a bad idea!"
Cartman looked superbly pissed off, a fact that Kyle and his nether regions knew all too well.
"I paid for this date, jewboy!"
"So you're going to get your scrawny Jewish ass over here and sit with me!"
Snickers broke out from a group of people sitting in the row behind him, inviting Kyle's fading flush back with a vengeance.
"I-whatever," he muttered, doing as told and shifting back over to his previous chair, snatching the bucket of popcorn and intentionally placing it over his lap. God, the way Cartman looked when he was angry…Kyle had to fight back the girlish urge to fan his heated complexion.
"There." Seemingly satisfied, the brunette wrapped an arm possessively around Kyle's shoulders, brown eyes shining as the lights dimmed. Kyle stiffened in the grip, heart thumping wildly in his chest. He didn't think he could remember a time when he had been so completely uncomfortable and excited at the same time.
Sucking in a deep breath, the redhead deliberately kept his head as far away from Cartman's shoulder as possible, butterflies awry in his gut. Eric Cartman, the nazi, Jew-hating, evil fatass who had sworn to kill him and attempted to on more than one occasion, was holding him.
He felt like he was about to be sick with nervousness.
"Nuh-uh." Kyle pushed the offered gummy worms away, staring shakily at expansive screen before him. Not only was he disturbed by the fact that Cartman had asked him on a date, of all things, but also by the confidence with which his rival-turned-boyfriend had done so. Talk about unexpected. He had assumed his feelings for the brunette were completely one-sided…
"What's wrong with you?"
Startled, the Jew turned his head to the side, gulping as he suddenly found his face disturbingly close to Cartman's own. "It's too weird," he mumbled honestly, stomach churning under the confused gaze. The grip tightened around his shoulders, eliciting another tremor from the smaller of the two.
To Kyle's immediate suspicion, Cartman's grin widened.
"I can fix that."
A flutter of brown eyes was all Kyle saw before soft lips latched over his own, fingers threading through red curls to hold his head in place.
"Mmmph, mmm…" Completely incapable of coherent speech, the smaller teen simply stayed put in the hold, disturbed by how little he was resisting. Without a thought, he shifted closer, the din of the theater a mere whisper compared to his own frantic breathing. Kyle's arms found their way to Cartman's shoulders and gripped onto them, holding weakly with a desire he himself had been unaware of.
For his first real kiss since third grade, he silently admitted that he wasn't complaining.
Chest rising and falling rapidly with every passing moment, Kyle froze as he felt a large hand sliding over the inside of his thigh, choking on air. A sudden stab of fear wrenched through his gut, green eyes fluttering open. Oh, God. What was going on? What had he gotten himself into?
"Mmn, I-I have to go to the bathroom," he muttered quietly and slid from his chair, racing out frantically into the main hallway and slumping back against the nearest wall. Finding his heavy breaths insufficient to calm his racing heart, the redhead allowed himself to slide to the ground, head falling back.
"It's okay," he whispered to himself, trailing pale fingers through his mussed locks. "I can do this, I can do this."
…could he do this?
Gut still twisted uncomfortably from the earlier incident, Kyle kept his seat on the carpet of the theater for another few minutes, thoughts racing. What if he went back in and Cartman expected another kiss? God, would he be able to keep from passing out this time? This whole romance thing was-
"T-too much pressure!!!"
Startled, the stressed redhead nearly leapt to his feet, green eyes snapping open just in time to catch a glimpse of two familiar blonds making their way into a near theater. The smaller of the two was shaking violently, pale hands gripping frantically at the other's orange hoodie.
"Kenny! You're…ack! D-don't grab me there!"
Kyle had to stifle a snicker as both boys stumbled through the entryway, inhaling slowly as he turned back around. Okay. If someone like Tweek could put up with Kenny, he supposed he could find a way to cope with Cartman's advances. Deciding to give it another shot, Kyle gingerly pulled open the door and began to make his way in, eyes still adjusting to the light as he took a few steps forward.
He squinted, moving to the side as he saw a figure begin to pass him. Kyle widened his eyes.
"Oh, you were so nice to see me out." The brunette glared, a bag of Twizzlers clutched in his left hand. "Enjoy the rest of the movie, won't you? I'm afraid I have to be going because my boyfriend is an asshole who would rather sit outside with a bunch of strangers than with me."
Kyle did a double take. What?
"O-oh, I'm sorry," he eventually replied after getting the words through his head, raising a concerned eyebrow. Cartman was that mad about him leaving? That was new. Less than a few days ago it had seemed routine for the brunette to go out of his way to avoid him.
"You're sorry? Oh, yeah right." Cartman folded his arms, dark eyes narrowed. "More like you were making out with your faggy little boyfriend Stan, or something. Way to repay me, Kahl. I'm sure you're so sorry." Looking away, the taller of the two tried to take another step forward, stopped suddenly by a hand on his shoulder.
Kyle tightened his grip, surprised by the expression on Cartman's face. If he had to guess, it looked more hurt than angry. Yet another thing that was new.
"That's not fair." He shook his head, a wave of guilt rising up in his gut to drown the butterflies that had been there before. "I-I just got freaked out."
Cartman looked unconvinced. "Yeah, so fucking freaked out you were going to leave me in there."
"That's not true!" Lip bit, Kyle tried to retain his temper, gripping onto Cartman's other shoulder with his free hand. "I got scared, all right?! You don't understand what it's like to get your first kiss from someone who's wanted to kill you since the day you were born!"
"That was my first kiss too, you idiot!"
Both boys seemingly having blurted out details they would have rather kept silent, Kyle gave Cartman a shy stare and Cartman did similarly, grip loosening around the crinkled bag of licorice as it fell with a thud to the ground.
That was the only warning Kyle got.
"Mmmph! Cartman!" The redhead found himself suddenly pinned against the wall with a warm mouth over his own and large hands secured around his wrists. Whimpering, he slowly slipped his arms around the larger body and gripped at his pursuer's sweater, hands fisting in the soft material. A hot tongue slid between his lips, rendering him shaky.
"Shut up and kiss me, Jew."
Happy to comply, Kyle leaned in to once again surrender his lips, green eyes foggy when a sudden exclamation brought all attention to his right.
Apparently having managed to keep his hands off the trembling blond in his arms, Kenny waved happily to his companions, stalking up for a better view of the action. "Someone's getting some. Good job, fatass!"
Cartman glared, one hand still around Kyle's waist as he flipped Kenny off with the other. "Fuck you, Kenny."
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Learn to take a compliment, would you?" he scoffed, tightening his grip on Tweek. "It was worth getting here late after all, huh babe?"
"How's it going, Tweek?" Managing to retain his composure after the interruption, Kyle gave his anxious friend a smile, one hand still fisted in Cartman's hair. "Enjoying your summer?"
"Y-yeah." The twitchy teen leaned further into his companion's arms, a little smile curving his lips. "Just sh-shopping and…K-Kenny!"
Addressed blond reluctantly retrieved his hand from the zipper of Tweek's pants, grinning unashamedly. "We'll catch up with you guys later," he leered, waving as he walked off into the theater with his quaking boyfriend in his arms. "Send me a notice when you decide to have another session!"
Watching as the couple stepped out of sight, Kyle turned towards his own partner, suppressing a giggle at the look of annoyance. "I don't wanna leave yet," he said quietly, green eyes alit with excitement. "We paid to see the whole movie."
Cartman returned the gaze with a smirk, leaning in further to whisper against Kyle's lips. "You mean I paid."
Two smiles and one squeak later, the two teens found themselves on the floor, wrapped up in each other's arms.