Ok, kids, here it is, my first fanfic. It's something new and different for me, but I hope you like it anyway. M means mature for a reason. There's a lot of foul language and future smut I intend to have. It'll be in EPOV for a while (I originally intended for it to all be in his POV), but I'll probably switch it up as the situation calls for it. Constructive critcism is a must, and the more reviews I get means the more I write, which (duh) means I'll post more. If you're interested. Songs will usually have a meaning for the chapter, sometimes they might not. Want to know why I chose them? PM me. :) Happy reading!
Thanks to my awesome beta feistyyoungbeden over in the Twilight forum on Ravelry. She fixes me so I sound intelligent. lol.
Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I've been called Stephenie plenty, but that's because some people can't remember my first name. I usually set them straight. Quite verbally.
(Song: 'Opening' by Philip Glass)
I could feel her coming.
There was no way I could hear her coming as I lay on the beach. It was impossible, with the waves crashing against the shore and the damned seagulls making a ruckus, never mind the sand silencing all footsteps from anyone who walked on it. But I could feel her coming, and I was glad.
It was strange, the electricity between us. I'd never felt it with anyone before. I didn't feel it with her until the first time we touched, a polite shaking of hands, but since then the feeling had intensified to the point where we didn't even need to touch to know the other was near. Being apart from her in any context hurt now, but some situations were easier than others to deal with the pain.
I felt her sit next to me and I opened my eyes to watch her tuck her legs beneath her as she faced me, smiling quietly down at me. Her liquid brown eyes were finally free of the sadness and pain I'd seen in them too much in the past months. She was still pale, always was, but it was accentuated by the gray clouds in the sky above. A few strands of her hair had escaped her ponytail and were being whipped around her face. She was fucking lovely, a goddess, and mine, which confused the hell out of me.
"I figured I'd find you here," she murmured, running a comforting hand across my chest before cupping my stubbled cheek. "I should know by now that if your car is in the driveway but you're not in the house, you're always here."
I smiled back at her, running my hand up and down her side while my other hand cushioned my head on the sand. "I didn't mean to worry you. Just needed to think for a bit."
A worry line did crease her pretty forehead, her pretty lips twisting into a slight frown. "I didn't mean to interrupt."
She made to stand, but I gripped her side firmly with my hand, the hand behind my head holding her hand to my face, keeping her next to me. "Don't go," I said softly. "I didn't say it to make you leave. You're fine here." I'd rather have her here than be alone with my thoughts much longer in any case. She smiled again, the worry line not disappearing completely, but she stayed put next to me.
My thoughts weren't entirely unpleasant anymore. I remember a time when they used to be, when all I thought of was the job and how I would make it through each day without going crazy. All I had was my bodyguard job, my partner and friend Jasper, and not much else. I really had no life outside of my job, no hobbies, no family to catch up with, no friends besides Jasper, and I was fine with that. I had enough work to keep me occupied and to keep me from thinking about what a sorry fuck I was.
Then I met her, my Bella, my savior, and it everything. She was just another assignment, and I kept telling myself that until I realized it wasn't true anymore.
I came back from the memories when I felt her shift, and I realized I was still holding Bella to me on the sand. She just watched me patiently lose myself in the memories, letting me hold her like an anchor to the present.
To the future.
I hadn't just come to the beach to dwell in the cesspool of my memories. I'd come to contemplate a big decision for the both of us, and grow a fucking pair about it.
I had a ring in my pocket for her. It was a pretty fucking beautiful ring, if I do say so myself, and I knew it would fluster her when she saw it. She didn't need the symbol, she'd mentioned to me before. But I wanted her to have the symbol, know that she was loved and worth it.
And I wanted the world to see my symbol, and know that she mine, and that she was loved like no other could ever be loved. With the money I dropped on it, no way could anyone miss the ring or mistake its meaning, not that I gave a fuck what the rest of the world thought or how much I spent on it. That was inconsequential. She'd freak if she ever found out much it cost and I'd for sure hear her wrath about it, but I didn't fucking care. She deserved it, and it was something I could give her free and clear.
I focused in on her face again, realizing I'd wandered off into my head again. She was staring off into the ocean, lost in her own thoughts. Her hand was still on my face, her thumb absently stroking my cheek and I reveled in it.
Her attention snapped back to me when I turned my face into her palm and kissed it and she smiled at me again. She placed her other hand on my face, cradling it, before leaning in and kissing me. I could feel her love and adoration into me with her kiss. I kissed her back, relishing the feel of her full lips in mine, and hoped she could feel me pouring my love into her too. I cradled her lovely face between my hands as well, hoping she didn't mind the roughness against her soft skin. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but a gentle one that spoke a thousand words.
"I love you," I murmured to her when she pulled away.
"I love you too, Edward," she whispered, and her smile this time was brilliant. She was radiant in that moment and I was fucking thankful that God or whoever forgave my sins in life enough to let me have her.
I smiled back at her, just as radiant as she, and hoped God was forgiving enough to let me keep her.
So? Whatcha think? Review and let me know if it should go on, any suggestions, etc?