Author's Note: You know what I've noticed?

I've noticed that every time I get inspired to write, it's during a marathon of the show I'm watching. In this case, it's

This is the plot bunny that attacked me right after Driven went off.

It reminded me that Jeanne was (unfortunately) part of canon and she had really hurt our favourite Italian Stallion. So, the bunny showed up with a carrot loaded bazooka saying, "Write it or you're dead!"

Who am I to disobey?

Now, this little "what if?" explores a core TIVA fan question.

"What would've happened if Ziva had gone to comfort a distraught Tony after it all went down with Dr. Crazy?"

READ THIS: This story is completely unrelated to my "Love and TIVA" series but it might become a second trilogy. It depends on where my mind takes me. The high school fic
WILL happen but I couldn't help but start this.

Anyway, here's the first chapter and I'll continue if you guys want more.

PS: Someone told me that Tony's middle name starts with a D so I'm improvising. Although it's really hilarious that his initials spell A.D.D.

The writers probably did that on purpose.


"Anthony Daniel DiNozzo, open this door!"

Her voice broke through the haze in his mind but he didn't move out of his cocoon of blankets.

What was she doing? He had lied to her, pushed her away, and just had been a straight up dick to her. Why on Earth would MOSSAD Officer Ziva David be pounding on his door at 6AM? When he thought about it, he realized that she must be there to beat him up or yell at him. He totally deserved it after all of the pain he had caused her...and everyone else.

I shouldn't have taken the fucking assignment...I hurt them... her so badly...

Unwilling to face her, he put his head under his pillow to drown her out.

After a while, the pounding and yelling stopped.

A deep sigh escaped him and he didn't know if it was of relief or despair.
Maybe she had come to her senses and had given up on his sorry ass.
That idea put another crack in his already battered heart.

Then, he heard the lock being picked and the door opening.

A soft gasp of astonishment met his ears along with a soft, "Damn. It's worse than I thought."

Tony had channelled his grief into his work and when Gibbs forced him to take leave; he had become a cleaning fool. The strain of moving furniture and the odour of cleaning products had made it easier to sleep. His apartment no longer looked like a condemned frat house.

In fact, it looked better than it had when he moved in.

"Tony?! Tony, I know you're home! I made McGee use the GPS tracker just to be sure!" her muffled voice called.

He could hear the twin thuds of her shoes being kicked off and heard her sliding around in her socks.

She loved doing that. He had learned that during their Tuesday nights. She was a good slider, moving like an ice skater. A memory surfaced of him laughing hysterically as she did the Risky Business number entered his mind.

"Tom Cruise can eat his heart out!" she crowed as she moved.

He just collapsed on the floor laughing, feeling like he was going to piss his pants.

"Crazy ninja chick!" he gasped with a big grin.

For the first time since the whole Le Grenouille thing ended, he smiled but it quickly fell as she called again, this time sounding desperate.

"You know, Tony, I am the Queen of Hide and Seek so if you want to go down that route, I'm game! Come on, Tony! We're all worried about you! I'm worried about you!"

She sounded close to tears and that was the last thing that he wanted.

In his mind, Ziva being miserable trumped his need to wallow.

"I'm coming!" he called as he got out of bed.

When he stepped into the hallway, he saw her looking around with incredulous eyes.

"Weird, huh?" he rasped before clearing his throat.

"Yes, I feel like I'm in the wrong...oh, my."

He looked in a nearby mirror and winced.

His hair was tangled and much longer. He was sporting some ten o' clock shadow and his normally celery colour eyes were a glazed over, bloodshot jade. He was at least 10 pounds lighter and he had on some god awful red flannel pajamas. "Oh, my" was an understatement.

Tony looked like a hot mess.

He looked away from his ghastly reflection and closed the distance between them.

"Good god, Tony." she groaned while holding her nose shut.

He sniffed and winced at the funk radiating from him.

"I've been a little off lately, Zee-Vah.", he said sheepishly.

"A little?! Damn it, DiNozzo!" she snapped.

A small smile curved his chapped lips and he commented, "You sound just like Gibbs."

She was too pissed to acknowledge that.

She put her hands on her hips and said," That's it! This self pity has gone on long enough! Pull yourself together, man!"

"Ziva..." he started.

"Shut up! Here's what's going to happen, today! You are going to bathe; you are going to put some decent clothes on and you and I are going out!"

"To do what?" he asked while backing away slowly.

When she was like this, he was always afraid she'd stab him.

A knife was clearly visible in the bun her dark hair was in, making him move a little faster.

She followed him back into his room and started getting clothes out his drawers and closet, a flurry of activity in her purple sundress and black leather jacket.

Every time she got all forceful with him, it scared him...and turned him on.

Even though he felt like crap, he still had to suppress the urge to kiss that little snarl off her face, an urge that was becoming much more common.

Pay attention, DiNozzo. She's almost manic with rage., his mind scolded him.

"Anything! Tony, I understand that you're hurting! I really do but I refuse to drag around a sad sack for a best friend! Enough is enough! You're going to snap out of it or I will kill you with a paperclip! Now, march!" she urged, shoving a pile of clothes into his arms.

A little warmth filled him and he asked shyly, "I'm your best friend?"

She stopped making his bed long enough to give him her beautiful but rare smile.

"Yes, you idiot. Now, scram! You smell like a dead mule!"

"Yes, Mistress David. So, you're really the Queen of Hide and Seek?" he asked as he threw his stuff into the bathroom.

"And the Duchess of Red Rover. Hurry up.", she replied as she shoved him in, slamming the door.

In the interest of self preservation, he obediently got stripped and got into the shower.

A whole day with Ziva... this should be fun. And I guess she's right. I need to snap out of it and she should be able to help. Even with her batshit insanity, she makes everything better.