We say that we are in love. We say it to ourselves. We say it to others around us. We say it to the one we want to hear the same words from. Once the words leave our tongues we stand there, expecting to hear them in return. Otherwise it's not worth it. Those three selfish words bring us happiness. But those same words could destroy someone else's happiness in return. So answer this. Is it worth it?




Yu Kanda let out a small grunt of annoyance as he stalked down in the direction of the busy sidewalks, people seeming to swarm around him as he entered the disastrous current of civilization. A young woman brushed past him, their shoulders barley touching but despite the fact, she sent him a flirtatiously dangerous smile causing him to shudder in disgust. Women were the cause of world hunger and all the crap in the world, he had decided a long time ago when he finally felt their deadly strike. Or more so, a kick.

Ignoring an old, Latina woman urging him to take a flier that could possibly take him 'around the world', Kanda exhaled deeply and clicked the stoplight button to cross the street. Cars swerved in front of him and he flinched, burying his hands in his pockets.

Lenalee Lee. The cause of his life spinning into the turmoil it was in, the girl who couldn't keep her love to just one man, the bitch who wouldn't even get the guts to tell him that they were over until he found her in the bedroom with a good friend of his. Who, might he which add, was completely innocent because he hadn't known the two were dating. Allen's face went as white as he freakishly colored hair. But the cheating part wasn't quite the problem. No, Kanda didn't really care that Lenalee wasn't his so called girlfriend anymore, and found himself actually relieved in an utmost state. The problem was that he hated women and could not to a damn thing to do otherwise.

The way they had the aptitude to manipulate a man to do anything, their soft lips, their flirtatious smiles and gestures and hell, even the way they spoke. And to top it all off, they had to be spawns of Satan to have the ability to bleed for a freaking week and not die.

"Kid, are you ok?" A deep, rusted voice interrupted his thoughts and Kanda snapped his deep blue eyes to the old man poking his shoulder.

"Fine." He replied gruffly.

The man raised a shaggy eyebrow and pointed to the street. "The lights gone off three times already for you to walk and you just stood there…you sick or sometin'?"

"No, I said I'm fine ok?" Kanda snapped irritably and crossed the street the moment the sign of a walking man showed up, pushing his way through the people and sick hormonal teens. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' Kanda thought, frowning as the familiar busy shops came into view, the night lights already on as the sun set behind the hills snowy tops.

The cell phone in his left back pocket began to ring and he reluctantly pulled it out, flipping it open and pressing the green send button. "What do you want?"

"Jeez, you haven't seen me in a year and that's how ya talk to me brat?" A clear, melodious voice barked through the other line.

"…Cross?" Kanda said incredulously. "The hell? How the f-ck did you even get my number you creepy bastard?"

"Ouch, I'm hurt. Christ, you are still an ass you know that right?"

"Oh no, an idiot thinks I'm insensitive. Bite me." Kanda retorted in a sarcastic tone. "Seriously dude, what the hell do you want? I don't have any money to lend you and if you're to drunk to drive, do the world and favor, and just get in the car on top speed."

Cross's booming laugh echoed through Kanda's ear. "Not this time! How's life treating you?"

"Bad, you?"

"Uh besides getting my freaking ass frozen up here in stupid Berlin, I made a lot of women happy." The last part of his sentence implied every sexual thing anybody could think of and Kanda nearly gagged on his own hatred.

"Ew, dude, no shut your mouth right there."

"Aw, is someone still being sex deprived? You want old daddy Cross to kiss it all better?" Cross said, his tone turning sickly sweet.

"Drop dead."

"Too sexy."

"My ass."

"My ass is better then yours."

"I hate your guts."

"No you don't. You hate my way-bigger-then-your dick—!"

Kanda snapped the phone shut, a snarl tearing through his throat as he shoved the phone deep into his pocket. 'He better not show his face around me or I'll wipe it clean off his face…the perverted pedophile…'

Cross had been a decent friend to the temperamental long haired teen, helping occasionally with money and fatherly shit. Only problem was that he was a horrible influence, and usually came back with one…or two…hell even three women to the house. Which also lead to the hatred towards women Kanda felt.

His steps became heavier as the snow crunched against his boots, and the cold began to take a toll on his already pale skin. It wasn't until then that he noticed the crowded streets had become empty, the streetlamps dimly lit to cut through the darkness. Turning the corner, Kanda scoffed at a bar sign glowing radiantly, in neon red and blue. 'Might as well get a drink before I waste my life in my crappy apartment.' He mused silently, opening the heavy wooden plated doors.

Instantly, the musky scent of alcohol and the faint tinge of vomit filled his nose as he walked over to one of the bar stools. There was faint music playing in the background and a group of men swaying, laughing on their seats. A few teenage girls, who looked way to young to be there, were giggling at another group of much older men, who looked to drunk to comprehend what the hell was going on.

"What do ya want to drink sweetheart?" A middle age women asked him, wiping the inside of a cup with a yellow cloth.

"Just a beer…the strongest one you have, thanks." Kanda said.

It only took a few seconds for the women to come back, a black bottle gleaming in her hands. "Bottoms up." She scoffed before walking off with a sway of her hips to the next customer.

Kanda took a sip of the bottle and inhaled sharply at the taste. 'Damn did that chick give me acid?'

"What the f-ck do you think you're doing you dumbass?!" A well muscled man bellowed angrily from behind, shoving a red head against the wall. "You think you're all tough 'cause you won me at a game of pool? I'll kick you're fucking ass!"

Kanda grabbed his drink and turned around to watch the fight, raising an eyebrow. 'What an asshole. Has to beat the crap out of a man to win his pride back…'

He watched as the red head raised his arms in a gesture of peace. "Aw hold on a second! We don't have to settle it like this do we?" He laughed nervously. The red-head was replied with a sharp punch to the gut that caused Kanda to wince from just watching.

He heard the breath of air that whooshed from his lips and clutched his drink tighter. The Ass wasn't done yet, and he yanked a handful of Red's hair landing another blow to the ribs. Red grit his teeth, blood escaping the corners of his mouth and he literally threw the Ass onto the table causing the wooden supports to snap.

Kanda gaped. 'The hell? I thought he was going to lose…'

Red wiped his mouth, grinning sheepishly. "That's twice you've lost old man."

Ass let out an animalistic snarl, reaching for his back pocket, but before he could fully get the gun from his pocket, Kanda was out of his seat and twisting the arm on his back, the gun clattering to the floor. "That's cheating." Kanda said simply and knocked the man out with a simple blow to the back of his neck.

Red looked up at him surprised. "Dude…wow…that was well timing!"

"Tch." He took a sip of his acid like drink.

"Lavi." Red said cheerfully, patting Kanda's shoulder playfully. "And don't worry. I know your name."

"No you don't!" Kanda retorted, brushing the strong hand away. There was a brief pause.

"Ha you're right! What is it?" Lavi chuckled, scratching the side of his head.

'Wow this guy is acting like he didn't just nearly get shot…' "Kanda…"

"Well Kanda, judging by your facial expressions, you need a better drink!"

"…you buying?"

"Oh, hells no." Lavi smiled brilliantly, his one visible eye gleaming.

'Shiitttttt…I'm sooo gonna regret this…'

A/N: Review? Please? And may I point out, there is going to be Yaoi…lots of it XD