Disclaimer: I don't own any of Artemis Fowl characters.


Hard Days and Rough Nights
"We'll see you, Fowl." Rigsby called after Artemis as he climbed out of our outrageously fancy limo and began to walk to Rigsby's house. Okay, breathe. In. Out. In. Out. I can do this. I've fought freaking trolls what's the big deal about dealing with just another mudboy?

"Yeah, see you. Be home by twelve, Lori!" he called after us as we began to close the door.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled as I slammed the door shut and turned to face a bemused-looking Rigsby.

"You know what?" he asked, a smile still playing on his face.

"Hm?" I asked as I tugged at my dress, which was currently inching up to my mid-thigh.

"It's weird because you two act like you're brother and sister or something." he added offhandedly, making me inwardly blanch at the thought. Oh god, brother and sister? That'd mean that it was like I kissed my bro-eugh. Okay. Focus. What's happening now? Oh, he's taking.

"-so this club's actually quite good and my friends band is playing and they're all right." he continued, a hint of a British accent laced through his voice. Oh god, I do have to say that I knew people with British accents and they could just keep talking on forever and it wouldn't mind me a bit.

"Oh, you're British?" I questioned, a coy smile coming across my face. He smiled crookedly and ruffled his hair. He really is quite cute...well for a mudboy.

"Oh, well I studied in London for about a year or so and I guess the accent just came to me." he said, letting the accent completely dominate his voice.

"Well aren't you full of surprises." I said cheekily as I smiled at him, playing with the hem of my dress.

"I'm fluent in five languages, too." he added, tossing in a little Italian accent as he gave me a taste of his flair for the languages.

"Oh, well aren't you the world traveler. You know, I've never left my hometown up until now." I added, looking out the window as I watched the lights of Ireland sparkle and glimmer.

"Well, thank god for Uncle Arty." he joked, making me have to hold down a grimace for the nickname I'd accidentally given to Artemis just ten minutes prior.

"Oh yes, he can be quite generous. Paying for me to come here, I mean." I added as I turned to face Rigsby. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Although I hold deep respect for Artemis, I must say that I never would have associated the word 'generous' with him." he said jokingly. For some odd reason, a pang of bitterness washed over me. I usually would agree with Rigsby on this because, well, Artemis was the one trying to kidnap me, but I couldn't shake the thought of all he's done to help us out. Nevertheless, it was him that usually initiated the problem however that seems irrelevant to the point I'm trying to get across.

"He's really not as bad as you think he is, Rigsby." I said in defense of him, I mean it's not like Rigsby's chauffeur is gonna chime in to Artemis's defense and somebody has to.

"Oh please, Lori. He's just about as generous as Ol' Scrooge was. The only time I've heard of him sparing a nickel is when he helped his brother Beckett out with convincing the family to let him go to Africa." he snorted as I looked at him distastefully, grimacing as I inhaled the scent of bourbon.

I rolled my eyes and silently prayed for this night to be over and done with as soon as humanly possible.


Artemis P.O.V


"-we're not home right now so leave a message after the beep." the sound of Minerva's voice filled my ears as I tried for the third time to reach her.

"Hey, Minerva. It's Artemis again. Just wondering what you're up to. I've tried to reach you but it seems like you're not home yet for some reason. Maybe you're with Shannon again. Anyways just calling to se-" I continued, only to be interrupted by a very masculine voice.

"Hello?" the man said, sounding very drowsy and a bit inebriated.

"Oh, er-hello." I greeted as calmly as possible. I mean, there's about a million situations that this simple answering of the phone could entail. Minerva could've been taken by some Russian mob and this could be the stupid hit-man. Although, that's very improbable especially since this guy has an American accent and he sounds really tired.

"Who's this?" he asked, or more of slurred.

"Er-who's this?" I asked, rather stupidly since the fact that a drunk man was in my house and possibly with Minerva is a bit unnerving.

"Mike. Again, man. Who's this?" he asked, this time a bit annoyed.

"Well, it's-" I began, only to be stopped dead in my tracks.

"Hey baby. What're you doing all the way over there? Come over to the bed, why don't you keep a girl warm?" a very intoxicated yet very recognizable woman's voice called in the background. Three seconds later and I'd hung up and was in the midst of attempting that deep breathing technique that I'd learned from a famous tai chi master while on a trip to China. When you hear something like that taking place, your mind definitely wanders. I mean, you start imagining how they met, what the guy looks like, why they're together, how you missed the signs, and most importantly what you ever did wrong to make her want somebody else.


Author's Note: Now most of you few readers left are probably like "Cliffhanger? Really PhoenixTears? After about six months of not updating and you leave with a cliffhanger?!" And I reply with "yes, I am that horrible of a person". I usually hate cliffhangers and leaving a chapter with them but, hey, I'm trying to keep at least a glimmer of interest left in this story. Oh, and the chapter title? I just thought it sounded like an awesome title. Kinda like the Beatle's A Hard Day's Night.