A/N: This was just an idea that popped into my head one day pretty much out of nowhere. I don't really like this pairing but at least I finished it. This is (sadly) the only fanfic I've ever had the patience to finish. But I'm trying harder. Soon I'll be able to write steadily. It's easier when you have a dead line honestly. I gave my self three weeks with lots of breaks.

Nara Shikamaru had an IQ of 200, but it didn't take a genius to know what was going on in the adjacent room. He sat with his back toward the door, watching TV with the volume turned all the way up. Not that it helped. Even though Kenny's Godlike Ramen was blasting out that recent studies had shown ramen to be the best meal for growing shinobi, he could still hear them. Most people, he thought, would be happy to be here babysitting them. He knew for certain what many shinobi only guessed at. A little shudder ran through him when he heard a long, drawn-out moan from the other room.

Not that he'd asked for this job. Nooo, he'd been assigned to it. When Sasuke had returned from exile, Hokage-sama had decided to "monitor his activities."

Shikamaru sincerely doubted that she'd meant this.

"Mendokuseeee," he hissed, covering his ears and gritting his teeth. But it was no use. He could already imagine it vividly.

"Narutoooo," Sasuke almost-whined playfully. "That kinda hurts."

"Nyah, Satchan. Gome, gome. It's just… you're so…"

Another loud moan drowned his words.

When the hell did he become Satchan? thought Shikamaru miserably. He clamped his hands harder over his ears but he already felt his control weakening. Damn it. He couldn't get the images out of his head. He reluctantly let down his hands. Slowly, he looked for the remote, found it, and gradually turned the volume down. They've won, he thought, they've won.

Now even the softest of sounds were audible. He could hear Sasuke's quiet gasps and the wet, smacking sound of kisses. He even thought he could hear… but he felt a blush creep into his cheeks. Shikamaru still stared steadfastly at the TV screen. Goosebumps formed on his arms but he brushed at them mechanically. Some shonen anime was playing and in vain, he tried to concentrate on it.

"Go! Go, Hokuto! Use your Pyro Technique! Flaming Phoenix Attack!"

"Ah! Shuuuichi!!" Shikamaru nervously began to bite the skin from his thumb.

"No! Shuichi-sama! Don't listen to him!"

"Give in child. You can't overcome the powers of Dark-Ness."

"Nooo! Shuichi-sama! Only those who remain pure and true can become king!"

"Give in child and I can give you your true desire."

"Child, what are you waiting for?"

What indeed? thought Shikamaru suddenly. In a slow movement, he reached for the remote and raised the volume again. Then, stealthily, very stealthily, he slipped off the couch and lowered himself to the floor. The door to the room was slightly ajar, and from his position he could just catch a glimpse of Sasuke lying there with his hair tousled and face streaked with sweat. He looked like he was enjoying himself.

He crept closer to the door, careful not to make a sound. His heart was pounding.

He suddenly remembered a conversation he'd had a couple of weeks ago with his father...

"Shikamaru, a ninja is bound to his village. He exists only to serve it."

"Jeez, Dad, I know that already. So what?" His father raised himself to full height.

"So? So people with Kekkai Genkai should use their powers with great caution. Once you use Shadow possession jutsu, it's a while before you can use it again. Use it judiciously."

"Whatever, I'm not that stupid."

His heart throbbed now. An idea had entered his head. Oh shit, he thought. I hope to God no one finds out. But, the opportunity presented itself. He could… if he wanted…

He cautiously approached the door. The rough carpet hurt his knees and he felt like he could barely breathe. But, he saw them clearly. Naruto's arms around Sasuke's body. His chin nestled snugly into the curve of Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke's silky hair covering his face.

It was quite the most beautiful vision he'd ever seen. Not that he'd seen much, but wow. His heart was pounding and it was a minute before he could get up the courage to do it but…

Shadow possession jutsu

Instantly he felt the familiar binding of soul and the blending of senses. He wanted to cry.

Naruto was… hmm, well warm. His shoulders were broader than his (Sasuke's?) and with his hot breath on his neck, it was like he was melting. Omigod, he thought. And he hasn't even started.

"Ah, Satchan," came a voice from the other room. "Is something wrong?"

Shit, he thought. He forgot that possession didn't control speech. He shuddered a little and turned over, knowing that Sasuke would be absolutely furious.

"Naruto, I'm sorry. I just got a little nervous. Keep going."

What? Seriously? Sasuke was just going to let him?

"Nervous? Why? It's not like it's your first time."

Shikamaru closed his eyes and felt for Naruto's cheek. If he was going to go through with this, he had to go all the way. His heart skipped when he found his soft hair. He tried to think of something to make his brain work, but all of his thoughts just fluttered away when Naruto kissed him. Oh shit, he thought and he felt Naruto's tongue slip into his mouth. Oh man. Participate. Yeah. Gotta do that. I've kissed girls before but it wasn't…Fuck, he thought. Just go with it.

He wrapped his arms his neck and pulled him closer. He almost wanted to laugh, it felt so good. And it was Naruto, stupid annoying, "I'm gonna be the Hokage," Naruto in his orange jumpsuit.

It was so surreal.

But what the hell, he thought. Naruto felt and tasted and smelled so good.

He was so taken up in the moment that he totally forgot the whole point of it.

Making out wasn't what Naruto was after, was it?

Shikamaru felt a horrible sinking feeling as Naruto pulled his hips towards his. He bit his lip. Naruto took one of his hands and pulled it to his crotch. Oh shit, he thought. I'm not ready for this.

"Narutoooo, I know you're hard already. Get on with it."

Sasuke, you jerk!

Shikamaru felt Naruto turn him on his side.


"Sasuke, you're so pretty," he whispered.

Naruto wrapped his arms around him and Shikamaru twitched violently. Dammit was he losing his nerve?


Omygod, he thought. What the hell? But Naruto only bit his ear gently.

There was a pause, and then, an unbearable silence.

Oh shit, he thought. It's gonna hurt. He instinctively tightened his abdominal muscles, but relaxed them. Couldn't let him suspect.

There was a slow almost painful feeling inside him and his breath caught in his throat. He felt the sudden thrust of Naruto's body and winced.

He paused. It wasn't… that bad. It wasn't particularly painful, just… very uncomfortable.

I guess Sasuke's just used to it. He tried to laugh but stopped.

And then there was a sharp pulse, an ache. Shit, he thought. What was-

And it came again and a certain part of him blazed with pleasure. He struggled not to cry out. He felt it in his stomach.

It's… it's not …It's not that bad… ah… I could…get used to this.

The soft, throbbing ache increased. He bit his lip desperately. Sasuke's moans penetrated the room. Wait, did he say something? It sounded like:

"Five minutes."

A shock surged through him as the connection broke.

W-wait. What?

Five minutes. The time limit was up.


Shikamaru lay on the couch, biting his pillow in misery. His cock was still swollen and erect and he stroked it helplessly. Dammit, he thought. Dammit, it still aches.

His heartbeat eventually lessened.

I can't believe it he thought. I can't believe… What the hell would Asuma-sensei have said if he knew? He thought on it.

Arrgh, he thought. He'd laugh. He'd totally laugh at me. Shikamaru clenched his hands. Arrgh. Stupid me. That was so stupid. Really…

His eyes were beginning to close. He felt exhausted.

His eyes closed once, twice. The third time, they stayed closed.


Something soft and warm. A familiar touch. A smell like rain-washed leaves. A strong hand in his.


Dreamlike shreds still clung to him and held on tenaciously though he struggled to throw them off.

The feel of cold steel in his hand, the whistle of kunai past his face. The sting of his first battle wound.

Ino smiling at him. A scream…

"Wha— Ino!"

With a start he woke. It was dark in the room, save for the flickering light of the television. He glanced at the window. It was pitch-black. Dammit, he thought, I've stayed too long. He sat up and vainly shuffled around the room, looking for his shoes. They weren't by the door… maybe under the couch. He bent down and searched. Hmmm… not at the front. Maybe at the back?

A very small noise sounded behind him. It was like the creak of a floorboard. And Shikamaru turned. His eyes widened.

"Hey Shikamaru-kun" said Sasuke, looking down at him. "Are you leaving?"

He stuttered. He sputtered. He choked.

Sasuke was so beautiful in the half light. He wore a wide collared black shirt. His collar bone showed plainly, a delicate curve of porcelain skin, and his neck was slim and long.

His face, however, was in shadow.

"Uh… umm", said Shikamaru. His whole body throbbed with sudden fear, and though the darkness hid his expression, he sensed that Sasuke was not smiling.

He stood up and took a fighting stance.

"Sasuke-kun," he said, his voice shaking in spite of himself. "I don't really know what happened today, whether it was a dream or what, but—" He paused. "I don't intend to pick a fight with you." Sasuke took a step into the light.

His eyes blazed a fiery red.

"Where do you get off fucking around with people's lives?" he snarled.

Oh God no.

"How could you," he said, grabbing Shikamaru by the shoulders. "Who the fuck gave you the right to do that!"

Fuck, he thought. No way.

As though he was a ragdoll, Sasuke threw him to the ground. The impact stunned him, but Sasuke wasn't about to let it go at that it seemed.

He grabbed the front of his shirt and dragged him up by it.

Shikamaru was unable to think, unable to breathe even. He looked into Sasuke's eyes. He saw the mesmerizing spin of the tomoe, saw the pulsing blood-red of the iris and felt the chills run down his spine.

A vague smile crossed his face.

"I guess I deserve it," he said. He closed his eyes and let himself go limp in humble anticipation of the death blow. Something warm ran down his cheeks. Tears?

How stupid, he thought. How stupid. And then a hand brushed his face.

There was a strangled sound above him.


He looked up and Sasuke let go of him.

"You —ahaha— you were—aha—crying?" Sasuke said between gasps and laughter.

"W-what? You aren't mad?"

"Aha! Of course not." Here Sasuke smiled coyly. "Did you like it?"

Shikamaru searched for a neutral response.

"Uh… umm... w-well I only w-wanted to see what it w-was like," he eventually stammered.

"But…" Sasuke leaned closer. "Did you like it?"

He was close enough so that his hair tickled Shikamaru's face. There was nowhere to move; Sasuke's arms blocked escape on either side of him and his back was pressed against the couch.

"Uh… It's just…Sasuke-kun I—" His aura was overwhelming. His smell, the heat of his body, his dreamy half-closed eyes burning into his own.

Shikamaru suddenly realized that his armpits were drenched with sweat.

"Shikamaru-kuuun," Sasuke whispered softly and he was filled with the sound. It was almost a purr.

"You didn't right?"

"D-didn't?" It was so hard to concentrate.

"Like it."

"Ah! N-no I didn't," he lied frantically.

A silence fell and Sasuke drew away.

"I thought not," said Sasuke. He motioned towards the door. "I'm so sorry to keep you so long. Please forgive me." His face was in the shadow again and Shikamaru couldn't tell his expression even when he passed within an in of him.

"Your shoes," he said, and handed them to him.

The path to the door way seemed long. The hallway was pitch-black too, and he made his way mostly by touch. Dude, he thought. What an experience I might have had if only… He turned one last time to look at Sasuke. He was nothing more than a black silhouette from where he stood.

"Good night, Sasuke-kun," he said, his voice sounding high and shrill in the heavy silence. Sasuke's shadow remained motionless.

Suddenly he was seized from behind.

"Motherfu--!" he screamed, turning to see… Sasuke?

Whoa. Mindfuck.

"Weren't you just…" said Shikamaru, looking back at where Sasuke had been formerly. The shadow was no longer there.

"Shikamaru," he whispered urgently, nuzzling the curve of his neck. "It isn't fair." It sure mother-fucking wasn't. Sasuke had his arms pinned to his side and he desperately tried to pry himself loose.

"What isn't fair?" he said, after having tried and failed.

"It isn't fair," said Sasuke. "To me or to you. It isn't fair that Naruto got to taste you— "


"Hold on a second! Naruto didn't …uh…taste me either." Not technically anyway.

"You just don't understand… Your movements… you're so virginal."

"I'm so wha—hey!" Sasuke kissed him quickly and fumbled with his belt.

"Don't you da—" he began, but Sasuke covered his mouth.

"Shikamaru-kun, do you want Naruto to hear us?"

He stilled.

"Do you think that Naruto will be happy to find us like this?"

He felt the warmth of Sasuke's breath on the back of his neck.

Shikamaru's heart beat frantically. Sasuke had his arms pinned to his sides with one arm. The other inched slowly down his body. He winced.

"Shikamaruuuu—" Sasuke whined. "Don't be so stubborn."

Shit. His hands were warm. Even in the darkness that was the hallway, he still would have been able to find him by the heat he radiated.

Sasuke's hand paused, and then, slowly, it slipped into his underwear.

His heart was throbbing. His mind reeled.

"Sasu-" he began.

Dammit, too late.

Sasuke laughed softly. "So you are a fag at heart," he said, and tugged gently at him.

Another jolt of pleasure shot through him and suddenly, he laughed too.

Never fight an Uchiha one on one.

He turned and kissed him.


The sun shone brightly on team 11. Ino had tried to look her especially best; it was a mission of enormous diplomatic importance.

Her hair was braided back from the temples today. It looked like a wreath. Like a princess, she had thought this morning. Her mother had helped her to put it up.

"Hello Chouji," she said, almost sparkling in her exuberance, as she bounded up the steps to the appointed meeting place. Chouji looked up from his bag of potato chips and grinned at her.

"Hey, Ino," he managed to say after swallowing with difficulty. The diplomat from the land of water stood there serenely, and nodded his head to her in acknowledgement. His flowing blue robes and distinctive cap marked him as a scholar-sort.

But as Ino looked around, she saw that one of the party was missing.

"Where's Shikamaru?" she asked. Chouji shrugged, again reaching into the bag.

"I'm glad that he got taken off guard duty," Ino continued, as if to herself. "It's awesome that he can go on missions with us now." Since Chouji didn't answer, she turned, yawned and stretched her arms out. She'd had to get up earlier than usual.

Some time later, a lone figure straggled up the steps to the landing.

"Shikamaru," called Ino. He gave her a look through half-closed eyes and mumbled, 'good morning.'

"Why so lazy? Took you long enough to get here," she said.

"Mmmm… said Shikamaru noncommittally.

Ino looked a bit puzzled.

"Huh. Well we'll wait a bit for Kakashi-sensei." Shikamaru nodded. He sat down, his chin in his hands.

A long silence persisted, interrupted only by the sound of crunching potato chips. Ino decided to start up a new topic of conversation.

"So Shikamaru, was it fun hanging out with Sasuke and Naruto? Is Sasuke nice now?"

"Mmmph… he's …nice," Shikamaru mumbled into his hand. Ino smiled.

"Ah," she said. "Sasuke's hair has gotten so long and pretty!" She paused. "I always wanted to see how it feels."

"Silky," said Shikamaru absent-mindedly.


Ino turned to see a very guilty-looking, white-faced Shikamaru.

"H-how do you know that?"

"Well of course his hair is silky," came a voice.

Kakashi stood there behind an ancient oak tree, his lone dark eye crinkled in a smile.

"Can't you tell? It's so shiny," he said. Ino glared at them both.

"Why so suspicious, Ino?" said Chouji. "You'd think Sasuke was your boyfriend."

Ino started to protest but thought better of it.

"Right," she said, giving herself a little shake. "Diplomat-san! We're leaving," she said.

The old man slowly came out of his doze. His blue cap had slipped forward and he adjusted it lethargically. With a smile and on weak legs, he raised himself from his resting place behind the oak tree. He swayed unsteadily on his feet, regained his balance and gave them a thumbs up.

"Right," said Kakashi after watching this little episode. "Let's get going." Ino took up the middle position to give the old man the best protection and to keep him near medical assistance. Chouji volunteered to take the lead position and Shikamaru and Kakashi trailed behind.

Ino began to chat enthusiastically with the old man, who seemed only happy to talk. He commenced a lengthy lecture on the nature of relations between the neighboring countries. While making it seem as though she was deeply interested, Ino kept her ears open.

It was quiet, very quiet, what the two behind discussed.

"So," said Shikamaru, in a voice she strained to hear. Kakashi made as though he read Icha Icha while the walked. Then he laughed softly.

"His hair is silky, isn't it.?"

Shikamaru made a strangled sound which he hastily converted into a cough.

"H-how—" he started to say.

"Neji," said Kakashi simply,"was on guard duty before you."

"Neji? You mean…"

"Yeah. He confessed to the Hokage in a burst if shame. We didn't tell."

They continued to walk and Ino strained with all of her might to hear.

"Well, maybe you should send a girl."

"Oh yeah, like that would work."



"Maybe they should send Gai."

Kakashi coughed loudly.

"What? Gai ?!?"

"Well he'd stand the best chance."

"But what if—"


Kakashi's voice was almost inaudible.

"What if he gives in?"

Shikamaru laughed.

"You think Sasuke would try and persuade him?"

"Well he persuaded me."

A long silence fell. Ino shuddered in a spasm of happiness as half-crazed images flooded her head.

"What?" Shikamaru hissed. "But how? There wasn't an opportunity."

Kakashi turned away guiltily.

"Before he left."

There was another long silence.

"He's …nice, isn't he?" said Shikamaru.

"Yeah," said Kakashi. "Yeah he is."