Summary: At Bloom's house on Earth, Riven introduces the Winx girls and Heroics boys to the practice commonly known as the drinking game. Hilarity ensues. Crack-fiction.
Disclaimer: I do not own Winx Club or Heroes.
Author's Note: Notes on all of my stories can be found on my homepage, StillsAndPhotographs(dot)webs(dot)com.
A Good Idea at the Time
Timmy slapped a pair of tranquilizing shackles around the ankles of a giant, lime-green troll.
"See ya later, Smelly," Stella cried, holding her nose as she banished the odorous ogre with a sweep of her scepter. She saw Brandon come outside through the back door, and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, Shnookums, I was so scared! You were so brave in that fight!"
Brandon had not, in fact, participated in the battle against the troll, and had actually just emerged from the bathroom – Stella was too much of an airhead to notice. "Yeah, it was intense," he nodded, kissing her. "I mean, it was huge! I didn't think I could get rid of it, and ugh, that smell!"
The blond princess nuzzled his cheek. "Oh, Shnookums, I knew you could do it."
Inside, Bloom was cleaning up her parents' kitchen, while Sky stood somewhat shyly off to the side, watching her do what he secretly thought – but wasn't stupid enough to say aloud – was women's work.
"Wow, Sky, thanks so much for fighting off the troll that attacked my parents' house for no reason that will be adequately explored in this story."
"It's no problem, Bloom," the prince smiled. "I know your Winx is just dead weight unless the plot calls for it."
Musa made her way through the debris-laden room, uprighting a table that had been kicked over. "Yo, know what's funny? If you said that to Stella, she totally wouldn't get it," she giggled.
Bloom's expression was bemused. "I don't get it," she said, turning to Sky. "What do you mean, dead weight? I have the Dragonfire! I'm the most powerful over everyone ever in the history of the universe.
Riven kicked down a door just to show what a badass he was, and joined the conversation as through he had been there the whole time, and not eavesdropping from the bathroom (like he had been). "Yeah, yeah, Dragonfire, power, blah, blah, blah," he said jerkily. "We've heard it all before, no one cares. What's this?"
The magenta-haired specialist was holding a box with an eclipse on the front.
"It's my mom's Heroes season one DVDs. Why?" Bloom replied suspiciously.
Riven, who secretly pirated every episode of Heroes on YouTube (and yeah, he shipped PeterxNathan), grinned wickedly. "You said your parents are away for the weekend, right?"
Bloom nodded, still suspicious. Musa cocked an eyebrow curiously. "What are you planning, Riv?"
"He said 'save the world'!" Riven shouted. "Two shots, everybody!"
Halfway through the first season with that particular rule, the inhabitants of the room were consequently quite sloshed on liquor from Bloom's parents' secret stash in the basement. Let's just say that with the exception of Riven and, surprisingly, Flora, the group did not exactly hold their alcohol well. Layla was tipsy after one drink, Bloom and Timmy following closely after her.
Brandon tried to refuse the shots Riven held in front of his face," No thanks, bro, I like my liver."
Bloom, whose hand rested on – or rather, gripped – Brandon's thigh, giggled uncontrollably. "You're such a party pooper Branny-bear," she slurred. "Come on, live a little. Here, I'll help!"
She grabbed one of the shot glasses and tossed it back, missing her mouth completely and dumping the liquor in her hair. "See, it's easy," she giggled, wiping her chin.
Helia looked at Flora like a dog looked at a t-bone steak. He motioned first to her, then to the stairs. Flora, who was buzzed enough to lose her inhibitions but not so much that she'd forget what had happened by the next morning, grinned and crawled over the sofa, paying no mind to the fact that her miniskirt was doing a poor job of hiding her favorite Teletubbies undies.
Stella, Layla, and Timmy had raided the kitchen and were taking turns stuffing each others mouths with spray cheese, whipped cream, and horseradish (which Stella claimed was even better than Solarian grey poupon).
They had yet to decide which was better – pumping spray cheese between someone else's lips, laughing as you accidently smeared the processed product all over their face, or laughing as you were hand-fed the fantastic stuff.
"Check this out!" Layla said, rummaging through a cabinet and proudly emerging with with a plastic bag filled with white, pillow-like puffs bearing the name "Jet Puffed Marshmallows." She smacked Stella's hand away when the blond girl tried to eat one of them.
"With these puffs, our power, and Timmy's brains, we will lay siege to our enemies, and conquer every foe!"
Nabu, Tecna, Musa and Sky were huddled in the corner at the bottom of the stairs. "Now really, *hic* by my calculations, *hic* Sky, you're just too pretty *hic* to be straight."
"Kiss Nabu!" Musa implored, leaning heavily against Sky to remain somewhat upright. "Kiss him! We've seen you kiss Bloom, we can compare!"
She expected him to refuse. She did not expect him to grab Nabu on either side of his face and kiss him fiercely – much more fiercely than he had ever kissed Bloom. Nabu even kissed him back a little, with the air of testing the waters.
He must have decided the water was cold, because he ran off as soon as Sky broke for air, hiding his face in a lampshade.
Sky looked at Musa and Tecna mischievously. "Your turn."
The girls looked at each other and rolled their eyes "Where's Flora?" they asked simultaneously, and scampered up the stairs.
They found Flora in Bloom's bedroom, dancing around with Helia in a miniskirt, cropped shirt and platforms.
"You tramp!" Musa screeched.
Tecna laughed. "Hello, that's what Flora *hic* always wears. *Hic.* Be nice!"
"I meant him!" the musical fairy replied, pointing an accusing finger at Helia, who sported a blue bra and matching panties over his Red Fountain uniform.
"They don't have them in this color where I come from," he protested, launching into the chorus of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, which was blasting over Bloom's stereo.
"No more alcohol for you,' Flora laughed.
Helia dipped and swayed and twirled and leapt. "I haven't had anything to drink. Really. I just figured if everyone else was going to get crazy tonight, I should let my hair down, too." As if to emphasize the point, he shook all of his loose black hair so it jumped crazily about his face.
Sky, Riven, Nabu, Brandon, and Bloom cowered against the wall. Stella, Layla, and Timmy stomped in a circle in the center of the room, chanting angry-sounding war cries and tossing marshmallows over their shoulders and into each others' mouths. They had smeared ketchup and mustard on their faces like war paint.
"By the power of the Jet Puffed Marshmallow, we shall defeat you!" they screeched.
Nabu leaned over and hurled the contents of his stomach all over Bloom's mothers' favorite silk pillow. Bloom giggled crazily.
The three combatants rushed the huddled group agains the wall, but collided with Helia, Flora, Tecna and Musa, who were dancing crazily and singing quick lyrics that were both off-key and indecipherable.
"What is this, 'zigga-zig ahhh'?" Timmy demanded.
Stella wailed. "The attacked didn't work! The Marshmallow gods require a sacrifice!" She and Layla stalked toward Timmy, but the intimidation was slightly undermined by the fact that that couldn't walk in a straight line.
"That is enough!" shouted a familiar authoritative voice. "Alfeus Transportus!"
Professor Faragonda, her students and their boyfriends disappeared with a flash.
The forgotten television set showed a chubby Japanese man squeezing his eyes shut as though constipated. He disappeared with a flash, too.
A stern talking-to was out of the question, at least until the hangovers wore off. The headmistress knew a great hangover remedy, but figured the ensuing headaches would be punishment enough.
She chuckled quietly as she reviewed the pictures on her digital camera, pausing on one of the blond princess Stella with ketchup and mustard smeared across her face and spray cheese caked into her hair.
The next day, Bloom and Sky talked via cell phone. "So, are you girls in trouble?"
"I don't think so," Bloom replied. "Faragonda said to just wait and see. Tecna said there's techinically no rule against it in the handbook, so I think we're okay. You?"
"Stable duty for a month." Sky sounded rueful. "I'm going to kill Riven, assuming I get a chance after Brandon, Timmy, Helia and Nabu take their turns."
Bloom laughed. "Speaking of Riven," she said casually. "Musa tells me you're gay?"
Stella poked her head into Bloom's room. "Faragonda just called an assembly. Something about a slideshow?"
"Talk later, babe," Bloom said, making a kiss sound into the phone.
"What? Wait! Bloom? What about me being gay?!"