Emmett's smile was so broad it looked like the corners of his mouth would poke his eyes out. He let out a devilish chuckle. "The card requests that we chose a person number one and a person number two."
There was a loud silence as everyone in the room glanced around deciding who they would choose to torture in this little game. I was debating between Emmett, Alice for person number one when I felt Edward's body stiffen beside me.
He shot out of his seat. "No, no, no, no. Emmett, I refuse," he stated shooting out of his seat.
"Oh calm down, Edward, untwist your panties and sit your ass back down," Jasper said as he slung an arm around Alice's neck. It was funny to look at the two so close together. Alice's face barely came above the table and Jaspers forearm was as wide as her little neck.
"Yah," Alice agreed, "You and Bella are already doing the nasty, you should try to get over your prudish ways eventually."
"Am I the only one in this family that knows where to draw the line?" Edward's fists were opening and closing, a habit he had of his when he was trying not to get in a physical fight. I had seen it numerous times in the linoleum-floored hallways of Forks High when in the presence of Eric or Mike.
Emmett walked behind Edward and placed his massive hands on Edwards shoulders, with little effort he shoved Edward down back into his chair. "Nuh-uh-uh, Eddie," he said with a waggle of his finger that resembled a fourth of July sausage, "you are not getting away so quickly, once you join the club you can't get out..
"Edward, stop being such a crybaby just take a Midol and chill," huffed Rosalie.
"I think Jasper should be person one," I stated. I hadn't said much during these proceedings, so when I did make a statement everyone took what I had to say seriously.
"Anyone opposed to Jasper?" Emmett asked
"Jasper, you don't count." Emmett quickly dismissed Jasper. "Okie dokie, looks like Jazzy Wazzy is person number one."
"Fine then, Bella needs to be person number two."
"Anyone opposed? Edward and Bella, you don't count." Emmett was obviously getting a sick sort of pleasure from this. "The rest of the card reads: 'Person number one is to give Person number two a exotic lap dance."
The blood drained from my face, my mouth went dry, and my head felt like it was filled with helium. I looked at Jasper, he didn't look like he was doing much better. Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie however were in peals of laughter, and Edward remained in his seat rolling his eyes.
"Bella, please sit here." Emmett pulled out one of the chairs from the dinning room table and sat it to the side of the room. When I didn't move he gently—or as gently as he could—removed me from my seat next to Edward and into the isolated chair.
Jasper stood up and ran his fingers through his mass of hair.
"GIVE IT TO HER GOOD JAZZY!" Alice was clapping her hands waiting for the show to begin.
My face had gone from totally devoid of color to a bright tomato red in a matter of seconds.
Across the room the sound of burlesque music floated in my direction, and out of the corner of my eye I could see Jasper walking towards me slowly. I was trapped. Even if I ran, there would be no chance of me making it out alive. When Jasper stopped in front of me, the music shifted from the sultry sounds to a upbeat stripper sound.
"Sorry, Bella, but you asked for it."
I kept my hand over my heart, that way if it broke free of my rib cage like I suspected it was going to do in the near future, at least I'd be able to catch it from flying across the room.
Jasper took a few steps back while still facing me, and although he was putting more distance between us, I knew that the level of mortification that was about to be dumped on me was not going to lessen. Before I could blink, he dropped to his knees and started crawling towards me, a sultry smile across his face. He stalked back towards me in a manner so slow it was uncomfortable. The sound of the loud stripper music combined with the beat of my blood in my ears was mind numbing. Jasper lightly pawed at my leg with his hand before pushing himself back up to his feet and circling around my chair, while gyrating his hips in time to the beat of the music.
I could faintly hear Alice cheering in the background. He stood directly in front of me, his pelvis level with my face, and threw in a few extra thrusts for good measure before turning around, bending over and shaking his butt.
"SHAKE IT JAZZY, SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE!" Alice was salivating like a crazed fan girl as Jasper lay on his back with his legs spread open so that the chair was between them. He arched his back, his legs still spread and plunged his hips upwards before his pelvis in slow circular motions that contradicted the rhythm of the music.
In an unnoticeable amount of time Jasper had ripped his shirt off, and grabbed my hands to rub his chest. I. Wanted. To. Die. He backed away for a quick moment turning his head to the side and doing a booty shake that would put Shakira, Beyonce, and Lady Gaga all to shame as Ice Ice Baby pumped through the speakers.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jasper did a few fist pumps and foot stomps. "I know you like the view over there, Bella, don't lie!" In a fluid motion he ripped off his khaki pants revealing his tight boxer briefs over his pale skin.
My chest was tight and I was having trouble breathing. I heard a crash that sounded like plastic being run over. I looked over my shoulder to see a seething Edward and a CD playing in laying in shambles.
As if being broken out of a trance Jasper looked down at his barley clad lower half.
"Oh, shit, Bella, I'm really sorry, I got carried away."
Edward was shielding my eyes before I could respond and leading me away to another part of the house.
"Bella," I heard Alice call from behind me, "you seriously have got to be the luckiest girl in the world."
TOO LAZY TO EDIT SORRY. BUT I HAD TO UPDATE BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I HAVE JUST BEEN FLOODED WITH EMAILS SAYING THIS STORY IS ON PEOPLES FAVORTIES LIST. SO THERE YOU ALL GO. DON'T GET MAD FOR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS.