A/N: This is for StarSixtyNine for her GenesisxJohn storylines. No, this is not gonna tie into anything, unless she wants to. The lyrics are from 'Just A Dream' by Carrie Underwood. So…enjoy!

Disclaimer (argh…): I don't own the song 'Just A Dream'. I don't own Genesis, Chantel does. And I don't own John sadly…cause if I did…

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It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen

All dressed in white

Going to the church that night

She had his box of letters in her passenger seat

Six pins in her shoe

Something borrowed

Something blue

"Genesis, I'm really sorry for your loss." Some stranger said to me.

"Mmhmm." I said as I walked away from all of them.

I didn't even know who that person was. The voice didn't seem all that familiar to me. But at this point, I didn't really care about anything. I was ready to wear sweatpants and a big t-shirt to this thing but my mother wouldn't have it that way. Why she started to care about me now, I don't know. Maybe it's because she was worried that I was gonna kill myself or something now that he was gone. Who knows?

But I don't care. I never cared. I didn't care. When she came into my room banging on my door to get up, I didn't care then. She cared about my tear stained face and my bloodshot eyes. She cared about how I looked when I saw everyone for the funeral today.

But I didn't.

And when the church doors opened up wide

She pulled her veil down

Tryin to hide the tears

Oh she just couldn't believe it

She heard the trumpets from the military band

And the flowers fell out of her hands

"How are you holding up Genesis?" Vince asked me as he sat down next to me.

"How does it look like I'm holding up." I told him as I looked at him.

"This is hard for all of us Genesis. No one expected this to happen." Vince said.

"No shit." I pointed out.

"I really am sorry Genesis." Vince said sincerely.

"You're only sorry because your golden boy is gone now. Whose gonna get you ratings now Vince? Whose gonna draw in all the little boys and screaming woman?" I snapped.

Vince frowned as he slowly got up and walked away. I knew I shouldn't have snapped at him, but what else am I suppose to do? I was going through a harder time then him. He didn't lose someone he truly cared for and loved. All Vince seemed to care about was ratings and money. I mean, come on. He pulled his own kids into the business. What does that say to you?

I got up and leaned against a wall as I looked at his casket. I still haven't been over to see it yet. I didn't want to see him like that. Lifeless. Breathless. Helpless. Sure they may have dolled him up before they sent him here but that doesn't mean shit. He would never see the light of day again.

Baby why'd you leave me?

Why'd you have to go?

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm lookin from a distance

Standin in the background

Everybody's sayin he's not comin home now

This can't be happenin to me

This is just a dream

"You don't look too good Genesis." Matt said, pointing out the obvious.

"Oh really? Should I be glowing and smiling from ear to ear?" I asked coldly.

"I don't mean it like that Gen. I mean you look sick." He said looking at me.

"What can I say? I haven't eaten since…" I said trailing off.

I couldn't say it. I wouldn't let myself believe it. Matt looked down at the ground. We both knew what I was going to say.

Since John died.

I closed my eyes tight as Matt grabbed my arm. I slowly opened them to see him looking at me. As I looked passed him, people were already going outside to the service. Two older men were wheeling John's casket out the side doors.

"Come on Gen. I'll be right next to you." Matt told me as he held my hand.

The preacher man said 'let us bow our heads and pray

Lord please lift his soul and heal his hurt'

Then the congregation all stood up and sang

The saddest song that she had ever heard

Almost an hour later and I was still standing in front of his grave. I couldn't believe that I hadn't run off yet. Matt held my hand tightly as I still held onto his. The choir finished singing some song that I didn't care for.

Like I said, I didn't really care for anything.

"Now it's time for the eulogy." The priest said looking at me.

I squeezed John's hand one last time before I walked up to the little podium they had. It was directly behind John's casket. I didn't look that direction. I looked straight ahead at everyone. I saw my baby girl Mialynne staring up at me with her big eyes and her thumb in her mouth. She didn't really understand where Daddy had gone, but she knew he wouldn't be coming back. I took in a deep breath before I started talking.

"All of you know who I am pretty much, but I was John's…other half. John's decision to leave the WWE and be in the army was a tough one for him. I never wanted him to leave, but he felt it was something he wanted to do. I guess filming 'The Marine' sparked something in him. But John was always really kind and sweet. One day he came home with a pair of diamond earrings for me for no reason. He was just…random like that I guess. When he wrestled he gave everything he had into every single match. It didn't matter if the fans booed him or cheered for him. It didn't matter if was a greatest match contender or a shit match. He gave it his all. He always did in everything he did. He was so loving and thankful and…I loved him so much and…" I trailed off with tears.

I couldn't stand being up there anymore. I ran away from the podium and through the crowd of people.

"Miss wait!" Some teen called out.

I turned back to see him holding the American flag folded. He slowly extended his arms for me to take. I took it slowly as I hugged the flag to my chest. I turned around and ran faster as I heard the gun shots fired for him.

And then they handed her a folded up flag

And she held on to all she had left of him

Oh well what could've been?

And the guns rang one last shot

And it felt like a bullet in her heart

I watched from a distance as everyone left his casket teary eyed. They all piled into the limos waiting for them and soon drove away. I looked back to the casket that still stayed in place. I walked carefully back to it, being careful that I didn't ruin my shoes.

Oh sure. I didn't care about actual people but I cared about SHOES.

Soon I was at least five feet away from his casket. His casket was left open during the service in case anyone wanted to say one last goodbye to him. I took in another deep breath as I walked even slower up to the casket. I squeezed my eyes shut as I walked up to it. As soon as I was at the edge I curled my fingers around it. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at him.

He looked so peaceful laying there. They cleaned the dried blood off his face and out of his hair. His clear blue eyes were closed, but you could still a hint of a smile out of the corner of his closed lips. His uniform was cleaned from the dust and grime that was on it before as he wore it perfectly. His hands were folded over his chest, covering one of his many patches. He looked like his eyes were gonna pop open any moment and his chest would rise and fall with air pumping through it. It was like he was gonna say 'Gotcha! Punk'd ya!' and kiss me like he use to.

But I knew he wouldn't. He was gonna be like this forever now. I would never see him full of life or fooling around with his older brothers. He wouldn't be able to see Mialynne grow up and graduate or get married. He wouldn't be able to step between the black curtains of a WWE event and be cheered or booed.

He wouldn't be back for any of that.

I finally broke down and cried. I fell to the ground onto my knees as I still held onto the side of the casket. I cried into the hard shiny wood as if I really was crying into him. I didn't care who heard me cry or who saw me like this. I didn't care about anything. I wouldn't care about anything now.

"Why John…why you?" I said silently to myself.

Baby why'd you leave me?

Why'd you have to go?

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm lookin from a distance

Standin in the background

Everybody's sayin he's not comin home now

This can't be happenin to me

This is just a dream

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Didn't realize how long this was…Damn. Well…please review! I hope you liked it Chantel!