I was inspired at about 12 a.m. today and wrote this. Hopefully, this will turn into a series of shorts, mostly containing House and Wilson. MAY OR MAY NOT CONTAIN SLASH, MALE-MALE PAIRINGS, ETC. Read at your own risk, please. Rated for language and possible future lemons and whatnot.

Disclaimer: I do not own "House, M.D.", its characters, etc. in anyway. The only thing that belongs to me is this story and its mini-plot things.

The Buddy Collections

Chapter 1: Name Calling

As a doctor who had always practiced medicine and treated patients his own way, other's opinions be damned, he had grown quite used to being called various names and phrases. The common choices made by patients, their families, and especially his colleagues were: "bastard", "heartless", "moron, "heartless moron", "heartless bastard", and his personal favorite "fuck you".

But the phrase Dr. Gregory House heard uttered from his closest, and only, friend had actually bewildered him, which in turn bewildered him even more.

He raised a brow at the oncologist behind the desk, "Did you just say what I think you said?"

The dark eyed brunette didn't bother looking up from his paperwork, "You heard me."

"Figures." The blue eyed brunette leaned back in his chair, "Kinda childish, don'cha think? 'Miserable, gimp-ified, pathetic excuse for a human being'. Rolls right off the tongue though, I'll give you that."

"Well if you would stop acting childish, I would have no reason to resort to name calling." Wilson pointed out, still not looking up at his friend.

"But where's the fun in that?" House asked cheerfully.

Brown eyes finally shot up to look into his own, "House, these are people's lives here! You can't perform tests just because you think they're 'fun'! What if you had made a mistake, huh?"

"Hmph. We both know that would never happen."

Wilson sighed, "We both know that you're not perfect, either. You can't keep evading responsibility!"

"Aww. But, it just comes so naturally." The brunette pouted, getting to his feet.

"You know, Cuddy's going to be looking for you."

"Which is exactly why I want to get the hell out of here before she snags me into her web of boring, pointless lecturing." And with that, House gripped his cane and headed out of the oncologist's office towards his own.

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Well, there you have it. Hope it didn't suck too badly. This is my first attempt at writing something for this show, so constructive criticism is welcome. Flames, however, will be melted down and turned into scrap metal.