Yeah... Remember how I promised you guys another Christmas themed story? I haven't even gotten close to finishing it, so I'm probably just going to finish it and then save it until next year.

For now, here's something I wrote in my room last night, as I was bored. This goes along the same lines as Survival of the Idiots in which it was something that was written without much thought as it was just to pass the time until my dad could fix my DVD player and I could watch Primeval. People getting eaten by Mosasaurs... Mmmm... You know what, I think I just realized that I have a very sick mind...

Barricade loved his new alt mode. If it was one thing the squishies did right, it was their vehicles. Even though they were inferior to Cybertronian vehicles, they could still be awesome in their own way. He'd chosen his carefully, looking for something fast and powerful, something that could assert some form of authority over the weak, pathetic, squish-monkeys that called this planet their home. Not only that, but the black and white paint job only served to make him look even more badass than he already was. It was with a great amount a pride that he boasted the Decepticon insignia on this form.

Frenzy, as he soon learned, was attracted to his new alt mode as well, but for a whole different reason. The second Barricade felt claws all over his seats, he knew he had something to worry about. "Ooh! Which button makes you go WHOOOO?!" Frenzy asked excitedly, leaping into his driver's side.

"Frenzy, don't you dare touch my buttons!" Barricade growled threateningly.

Seconds later, Barricade's police radio was blaring, reporting various crimes in progress. The windshield wipers started simultaneously with the car alarm and the trunk popped open. He even lurched forward and stopped several times. All the meanwhile, Barricade was cursing Frenzy out in four different languages and threatening to use the force of inertia to his advantage by slamming into a pole and causing him to smash through the windshield.

"I made you go WHOOOO!!" Frenzy exclaimed proudly when the police siren went on.

"Frenzy, do an Internet search and tell me what that song is on the radio…" Barricade requested. For lack of anything better to do while they drove along, they had turned on the radio to listen to Earth music. Barricade had taken an interest in the local heavy metal station, especially this band which was playing now.

"Search complete. Results say the song is "Enter Sandman" by Metallica," Frenzy replied.

Metallica… Before they left this planet, he'd have to snatch a few of their CD's. Barricade's holoform absentmindedly reached out and stroked Frenzy's head, eliciting a purr from the minicon. They continued their drive in silence, Frenzy enjoying being pet and Barricade not knowing that he was even doing it.

Something in the road ahead caught Barricade's attention. "Hey look, Frenzy! A vole!" He slowed so that Frenzy could admire the rodent. "I'm gonna run it over," he announced before speeding up.

Frenzy dove into the driver's seat in protest. "No! It's cute!"

"It's vermin!" Barricade countered.

"It's a helpless little animal!"

"So is Scorponok, but that doesn't stop you from beating on him!"

"That's different! He can take it!"

"Is that why he cries afterwards?!" Frenzy angrily screamed something threatening in rabid Cybertronian. "You know Frenzy, you talk an awful lot of smack for someone who's three foot nothing!"

Barricade was unaware that he was swerving all over the street until he jackhammered into a tree. The vole scampered up to him, looked at its reflection in his rims, and scampered away.

"Run…" Barricade growled.

"Huh?" Frenzy asked.


Catching on quickly, Frenzy bolted out the window and streaked across an open field while a big, angry police cruiser shot off after him. The only witnesses to the attempted murder were a few rodents, a lone coyote, and a very sleepy owl, which only gave Frenzy more incentive to run faster.

Frenzy put an ice pack on his head, a bandage hanging loose from his forearm. He carefully took a sip of the liquid diet he'd been on, considering it hurt like hell to swallow, let alone chew. Barricade purred sleepily, listening to Three Days Grace on the radio, pretending that he was innocent as he dozed off.

Finally, Frenzy fell asleep. Barricade never would have thought of a song like "Psychosocial" by Slipknot as a lullaby, but he wasn't gonna argue with the little crackbot.

He felt Frenzy twitch a few times from his chosen resting place of Barricade's holoform's lap and gently stroked the minicon who thought he was a lap dog out of habit. It was nice not having him running from window to window in the backseat saying, "What's that?! What's this?! Oh look, a cow (when it was really a sheep)!" Maybe he'd be able to get some sleep as well, now that Frenzy was out of it.

He pulled up under a tree and watched the bats flying around him a moment. He shut his radio off, cutting off Lacuna Coil mid song, as he desired silence when he was asleep. Unfortunately, a certain someone did not…

"Turnthatbackon,Iwaslisteningtothat!" Frenzy screamed at him rapidly before his head reacquainted itself with Barricade's holoform's thigh and he was snoring again.

Grumbling, Barricade flipped the radio back on. So much for that idea.

Frenzy needed to get out for a bit. His energy was really pent up and he was taking it out on Barricade's sanity. Finding a remote area as quickly as he could, Barricade released the tiny metal crack monkey, transformed, and sat in a dark area by a tree, where he could watch him. He remained alert while he watched Frenzy chase rabbits and run from angry gophers, like a father looking after his sparkling. He even panicked a little when Frenzy fell off a rock, face first onto the ground, and calmed again when he leapt back up and chased a butterfly like it never happened.

Eventually, the bats and owls became active, and Frenzy occupied himself with chasing fireflies. Once it got too dark for him, he leapt up into Barricade's lap and curled up. Barricade had forgotten that because Frenzy was so very small and fragile, he was instinctively afraid of the dark. On their planet, he would have been easy prey for a hungry scavenger or a lost, organic pet.

Barricade looked down at Frenzy with confusion. The tiny Decepticon reminded him of a cat with the way he was wrapped in a tight ball on his lap. "Um… Don't you want me to transform so you have a more comfortable place to sleep?" he asked.

"No," Frenzy replied.

"Want me to turn on the radio?"


Frenzy was starting to scare him… "Then what do you want?"

"Already have it," he purred.

Barricade smiled and once again reached out to stroke him, not quite so absentmindedly this time. Frenzy shifted slightly and snuggled against Barricade. The Mustang shuttered his optics and prepared to engage his recharge cycle. He suddenly woke up again when he felt something wet. "Frenzy, did you just lubricate on me?"

"Too comfortable to move…" Frenzy explained.