A Life Less Ordinary
Summery: "I wish you'd told me you were coming home today! I would have picked you up!" "But if you had I'd never have suddenly become your fiancé." Includes Shassie and devious/possessive Shawn! Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Psych (freaking Steve Franks…the bastard.) nor do I own the song 'Life Less Ordinary' by Carbon Leaf.
Note: This is just a random, plot-less story I wrote because I was bored and got intrigued by the Psych marathon today. Enjoy!
Live a life less ordinary, Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary, Live a life evolutionary with me.
Well I hate to be a bother, But it's you and there's no other, I do believe
You can call me naive but...I know me very well (at least as far as I can tell)
And I know what I need.
To say Carlton Lassiter was irritated was an understatement. The results on the sniper-rifle he needed were taking extraordinarily long and it was what he needed to close this case. That plus he hadn't slept more than six hours in a good two days, nor had he seen his boyfriend in several days.
Since Shawn went out of town four days ago Carlton was on edge. He couldn't sleep without Shawn curled up next to him. It was way too hard. God, when did he become the clingy type? Ugh…
Also, the fact that he'd gotten a message that an old…rival, for lack of a better word, was coming to visit wasn't helping either. Jacob Walt. He had gone to the academy with Lassiter, and the two hadn't exactly been what you would call friends. Jacob had constantly made fun of Lassiter, and as soon as they'd graduated Lassiter had done his best to break off communication with Jacob. And it'd worked, up until now…
Suppressing the groan he wanted to let out he threw his pen down at the paper work he was trying to work on. It was no use, he just couldn't concentrate, and he couldn't really do much until he got those fucking results.
He glanced to the side when he saw O'Hara hanging up her phone, looking pleased. "Please tell me that was the lab?"
"Yup! I'm going to get the results on the sniper now!"
"Thank you, Christ."
"Ooh, snipers? Goin' for the big guns, eh Tony?" At the call of his old nickname Lassiter spun around, holding back a cringe at the man that stood behind him. "Ya know what they say about men with big guns…they're usually making up for something." Jacob grinned obnoxiously.
"Believe me, Lassie here isn't compensating for anything." Came a new voice as the owner slipped his arm around Lassiter's shoulder. Under any normal circumstances Lassiter would have glared at Shawn for the inappropriate comment – and he was about to – but then it clicked that Shawn had just made an obnoxious comment. He couldn't suppress the 'When did you get home?!' look that sprung into his features.
"My flight came in this morning, and the spirits were telling me you were upset, so I decided to surprise you!" A big smile formed across Lassiter's lips, and not wanting to look like a romantic fool in front of his old rival he settled for letting his right hand slip down Shawn's back and into his back pocket. The small moan that only Lassiter could hear told him the 'hug' was much appreciated.
"Woah, Tony, since when did you get a boy toy?" Shawn gave the man a surprised look, which quickly morphed into a glare and a look Lassiter couldn't decipher as he tightened his arm around Lassiter.
With an irritated sigh, Lassiter said, rather proudly, "Detective Walt, this is my fiancé, Shawn Spencer." Shawn seemed tense at that.
"Woah, uh—wow. I mean, uh, congrats?"
"Thank you." The two lovers said at once, though Shawn still sounded confused.
"I, um, I'm gonna go get some…coffee." Jacob awkwardly nodded and rushed off. Lassiter grinned – for once he had made Jacob squirm – but Shawn turned to him.
"Somethin' you wanna tell me?" Shawn asked with a grin.
"Yea, the wedding is next April." He deadpanned as Shawn glared at him. But Lassiter ignored it and hugged Shawn. "I wish you'd told me you were coming home today! I would have picked you up!"
"But if you had I'd never have suddenly become your fiancé." Shawn paused and looked at Jacob from across the precinct. "I don't like him." Shawn practically snarled.
"Neither do I." Lassiter shrugged. "But, what does it matter?"
"Why'd you tell him I was your fiancé?" Shawn spun around once again with his usual random bouts of energy.
"He's married. I…"
"What, you felt inferior for not being married?" Shawn asked sarcastically. "Dude, he's in a marriage he doesn't want to be in. How does that make you inferior because you're in love with someone 'unconventional'?"
"What? How'd you know that?" Shawn slowly raised his hand to his temple, but Lassiter slapped it away.
"He's got a tan line where his wedding ring should be but no wedding ring." Shawn said in a 'Ta-Da!' voice. Lassiter blinked at him for a moment.
"Why can't I do that?"
"Because your daddy loved you." Shawn grinned, and Lassiter rolled his eyes.
"Your daddy loves you plenty." He said walking to his desk, Shawn following like a baby duckling. "He puts up with you, doesn't he?"
"So do you."
"And I love you." Lassiter smirked, not bothering to look up.
"You do love me!" Shawn clapped his hands childishly, causing a few officers to look in their direction, gaining a smirk from Buzz. "I was starting to think you were Meg." Lassiter looked up, giving his signature raised eyebrow. "From Hercules?" Lassiter still held his look. "Dude!! You are Disney deprived! We're gonna have to watch them all this weekend!" He nodded determinedly.
And then something hit Lassiter. He interrupted Shawn's singing – "No chance, no way, I won't say I'm in love!" – by asking, "How did you get here? I dropped you off at the airport because you have that thing against long term car storage."
"People fuck with your cars, dude. I'm serious. And have you never heard of Taxis, Carly?"
"You took public transportation? I thought you had a thing against that too."
"I do. But I'll do anything to surprise you." He smiled.
"Carlton, I have it-! Oh, Shawn, when did you get home?" Juliet asked as she walked in and up to the two.
"An hour ago."
"Well, I'm sorry to break up this love-bird reunion, but Carlton, we have to go close this case."
Lassiter nodded, almost sadly, and turned to Shawn. "Go, I'll wait here." Lassiter nodded, squeezed Shawn's hand and ran out, promising to be back in an hour at most. Shawn smiled at Lassiter's retreating back and turned to his lover's desk. He blew out a breath, the exhaustion hitting him now that his lifeline was gone. He hadn't slept in days. It just wasn't right not being curled up against Lassiter. He'd tried spritzing some of Lassiter's cologne that he stole from his lover without him knowing on a pillow and cuddling that but it wasn't the same with out Lassie's strong arms around him.
Shawn was about to put his head down on Lassie's desk and fall asleep when a voice behind him stopped him. "So…you and Tony, eh?"
Shawn turned "Detective Walt."
"Please, call me Jacob." He said, holding out his hand."
"Yea, Shawn Spencer." He said, realizing Lassiter had already told him his name. God, he was tired.
Jacob laughed "Yea, yea he told me…so, uh, when'd you two decide to tie the knot?"
"Where did that phrase even come from? I mean, do some cultures literally tie a knot on their wedding day? There's no rope in a marriage, unless you count the kinky stuff, but still-" Shawn stopped when he saw the look of utter perplexment on Jacob's face. "I mean, uh, really not that long ago. Day just like this."
"Huh. You, uh, you really don't seem like Lassie's type." Shawn could see something in Jacob's eye and felt himself smirking.
"Neither do you. I'm just more loveable, that's why I got him."
Jacob's eyes widened. "I-wha-I'm not-"
"Sure your not. Is that why you tormented Lassie? I've got news for you pal, a way to the heart is not by being a dick. Despite what the soup operas tell you."
"Mr. Spencer you are completely-"
"On the mark? I know. It's a gift. But I've gotta say, I'm pretty happy you never told Lassie how you really felt. If you had his ass wouldn't be mine." Shawn spaced out for a second saying "And a fine ass it is too…mhm…" He shook his head and looked back at Jacob. "Sorry, am I rubbing it in?" Shawn held back a grin, because he may be acting cruel but Lassie was his.
"I—I have to-" Jacob didn't even finish his sentence as he rushed away. He slammed into Lassiter and Jules as they walked back in. Mumbling a quick "Sorry. I gotta go," and literally running out the door. Shawn couldn't help the laugh that ripped from his throat as the other man ran out. Lassiter turned and gave Shawn a confused look.
"What was that?" He asked as he walked up.
"I just told him what the spirits were telling me." He smiled, ignoring Lassiter's still raised eyebrow. "Can we go home now? I need to take a nap and I can't sleep without your big, strong, manly arms." Juliet let out a loud laugh, but covered her mouth and looked away. Lassiter rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.
"Missed you, Mr. Shawn Lassiter."
"Missed you too, Mr. Carly Spencer."