Short, silly, utterly pointless...Enjoy! ^_^ I'm terribly sorry if anyone, especially Kenpachi is out of character, I never thought it would be so hard to write him. It took me and a friend an hour to go over all the characterisation mistakes in the original and sort them out, and I'm still not sure if its right.
"Aww" Yachiru wined, looking sadly at her sheathed sword. "It's broken."
Beside her, Zaraki Kenpachi, who had been dozing off, looked up. "What is?"
"My wheels," She pointed to the set of wooden wheels attached to the bottom of her sword, one of which had fallen off. "Baldy made them for me…" She paused for a moment, before jumping up, all traces of disappointment gone "I'll get him to fix it!"
Unexpectedly Kenpachi started forward "Ah. No, stay here."
He had heard the sounds coming from the room Ikkaku and Yumichika were occupying. The groans and growls and low murmurs, and if that wasn't enough he had born witness to Yumichika's smug expression as he had dragged a protesting Ikkaku away. Kenpachi liked to believe he was a lenient man. Honestly he didn't care what the people in his squad got up to so long as they were good fighters, and Ikkaku and Yumichika were two of the best, so that applied doubly for them, but he had his limits. They could at least try to be discreet, if only for Yachiru's sake. It had been almost every evening recently and he was having a hard time keeping the small girl, who usually used the pair for amusement, away from them.
Yachiru fixed her large eyes questioningly on the huge man. "Why?"
Kenpachi floundered. He was a simple man, blunt and basically honest. He was not good at fabricating excuses and lies at short notice. Eventually he settled for "Him and Yumichika are busy." It was mostly true and a lot better than the full truth. He might not have many parenting skills, but he was aware that there are some things you do not tell kids, and that your third and fifth seats are indulging in activities of a carnal nature is definitely one of them.
However, Yachiru was anything but deterred by this. "Oh? Is that all, they won't mind!" A bight smile lit her face and before Kenpachi could stop her she ran off.
Paying no heed to confused subordinates he bowled over in the process Kenpachi set off in pursuit, catching up to her just as she reached the doorway. Listening carefully he allowed himself to hope for a brief moment that the pair had stopped, but his hopes were shattered when a loud growl, followed by a thud and a surprised exclamation sounded from the other side of the door.
"Sounds like they're having fun!" Before Kenpachi could scoop up his charge she pushed open the door and scurried in. "Baldy!"
Deciding that it was probably too late to save Yachiru and wondering if it might just be better if he left and let his subordinates clear up the mess Kenpachi hesitated before looking in. When he did a most unexpected sight greeted him. Yumichika and Ikkaku were sitting, or in Ikkaku's case, standing, on either side of an upturned shogi board. The sounds had obviously been Ikkaku hitting the table in frustration. Kenpachi suddenly felt more than a little silly.
Yumichika gave him a quizzical look as Ikkaku attempted to fend off the small girl waving her sword at him. "Captain?"
Kenpachi gaped for a moment before waving his hand at the upturned board. "You…"
Yumichika smiled slightly and closed his eyes. "Yes. I've been teaching Ikkaku to play." He looked hopefully at the captain "Would you like to learn?"
"Eh? No! I mean…" Realising he was babbling slightly he took a deep breath. And he had thought that Unohana had been being foolish when she had talked about the effects of stress. "Every night?"
The dark haired shinigami sighed dramatically "Yes. Unfortunately Ikkaku is a slow learner…"
At that moment Ikkaku, who had managed to briefly placate Yachiru stormed forward and towered over the shorter man. "I don't get it! You're an awful teacher!" He snarled.
Yumichika frowned and retorted angrily, but it was lost on Kenpachi, who was recovering from the huge adrenaline rush which had swept over him at the prospect of what he might discover in the room. Looking at Yachiru, he was glad that he had been wrong this time; there are some things children just shouldn't see.
He left the three of them to their arguments and whining with a smile on his face. Thinking about it, in all honesty he had been a fool to even consider the idea that the pair were doing anything like that. Of course there were rumours, but they were just that… rumours. Ikkaku and Yumichika? Lovers? The idea was preposterous!
Once Ikkaku had got rid of Yachiru he sidled warily around the table with its ruined game and wrapped his arms around the sulking shinigami. "Hey." He said carefully, ever wary of unexpected blows from the unpredictable man, "I didn't mean that thing about you being an awful teacher." He grinned and kissed the side of Yumichika's neck, suddenly seeing a way to avoid the almost certain punishment he would suffer for the insult. "They're gone now; let's do something we know I'm good at."
At Ikkaku's words and the touch of his lips Yumichika shivered and turned, all traces of anger and sulkiness gone from his face, replaced with a mischievous smile. "That sounds like a good idea" He murmured, pulling the bald man away from the table. "It was a silly game anyway."
The sounds that followed certainly were not the sounds of two frustrated people playing shogi.
Thanks for reading, and please review, it's lovely to hear what you think ^_^