A/N: "This is the end. My beautiful friend, this is the end. My only friend, the end." I told you this story was going to be short. I never wanted to write a huge novel with this story. I thought about making it longer, but there was really no way that I could. I would just be like stretching it out and the chapters would be short and nothing exciting would happen then y'all will be like "why did you write that, that was crap." So I decided to just end it. Besides, I think it ends smoothly, but that's just me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Rules of the Challenge:
No character deaths.
No whining (example: "my life is so horrible because I didn't get the Xbox I wanted for Christmas").
Has to be as in character as possible.
"Alice and Jasper aren't into show, but they have the deeper relationship. They are married, but once was enough for them."
When I was little I used to wish on 11:11. My mom told me that if I wished hard enough it would come true.
I wished that I would get bitten by a spider so I could have super powers like Spiderman. The next day I found a spider hanging on a web under the stairs in our apartment complex. He bit me. I ended up in the emergency room no more than an hour later.
I wished that my dad, who left to buy a pack of cigarettes eight years ago, would come home. The next day my mom found him outside of our house, dead. He died of cocaine over dose.
I wished that we could move because the apartment that we lived in was making my mom unhappy. The next day we got evicted.
I wished that my mom would find someone that would love her. The next day she found a boyfriend who soon turned into her fiancé, who turned into her husband, who then turned into her abuser.
I wished that my mom's husband would stop hitting her. The next day she shot him.
I wished that someone would find the body of my mom's dead husband under the floor board in my room; the smell was making me nauseous. The next day the police arrived, they found the body. They sent my mom to jail and put me into foster care.
I stopped making wishes after I was put into foster care. My first foster mom, who was a Roman Catholic, told me that wishing was the work of the devil and every time she even thought that I was wishing on 11:11, she would make me write Bible verses. I eventually stopped making the wishes after I realized that I might develop carpel tunnel syndrome from all the writing she was making me do.
The clock above the stove read 11:11. I stared at it. I couldn't tell if it was a.m. or p.m. I blinked. I only had a minute to come up with a wish. I couldn't think of anything that I wanted, other than to have Alice stay.
I closed my eyes. Thirty seconds. I had thirty seconds to make a wish.
"Maybe you should wish for world peace." Alice's voice said. It wasn't Alice; Alice was sitting on the couch reading.
I opened my eyes and rolled them so I could look at the purple elephant. She was standing next to me, her head down so her trunk hovered above the tile floor. I couldn't tell if she was frowning or smiling under her trunk. I decided that she was frowning; I would feel guilty if she was smiling.
"I wish that I didn't have hallucinations," I told the clock seconds before it hit 11:12. I was tired of dealing with purple elephants, pink crickets, or anything else that might pop up.
"Why would you ask that?" the pink elephant asked in her Alice voice.
I ignored her as I walked past her to talk to Alice on the couch. Her feet were curled under her and she was reading the book on her lap. I sat next to her. She lifted her head and smiled.
"What are you reading?" I asked. I was desperate for a conversation.
She shrugged. "Just a book." She closed it and put it on the coffee table. She moved so she was facing me. Her fingers laced together and rested in her lap. "How's your hand?" she asked.
I held it out for her. She grabbed it and held it between her hands. She traced the bandages. I couldn't feel finger tips that were following the pattern that the bandages were in, but I could feel her hands wrapped around mine. She started to hum. I recognized the song. It was a song that my mom used to sing to me when I was little. I didn't think anyone else knew it.
"I can sing," the pink elephant said. I ignored her. "I can dance to." This made me look at her. My eyes widened as she moved her feet and made movement to stomp it on the floor.
"No, don't!" I screamed. I pulled my hand away from Alice's and jumped to my feet. The elephant stopped herself from slamming her foot into the ground. I stood in front of her, my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't know how I was going to explain to the people below me why there were holes in their ceiling.
"What did I do?" she asked as she slowly lowered her foot till it was on the floor.
"I don't like dancing," I lied. "It makes me uncomfortable." I held out my hand to grab her leg, but I stopped myself. I didn't want to give her the impression that I wanted to hold her.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean make you to feel uncomfortable." She dropped her head. Her trunk fell onto the floor.
I turned around to look at Alice. She wasn't sitting on the couch anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around. She was nowhere to be seen. The purple elephant was gone to. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to think of somewhere she might have gone. This was a small apartment, she couldn't have gone far.
"Alice," I called. No one answered. "Alice, where are you?" I walked into the kitchen, she wasn't there. I looked around, making an effort to stare down the countertop in case she decided to show up, with her small feet dangling over the edge like she did last time.
She never came.
I sighed and turned around towards the fridge. I needed to take my medication anyway. I opened the door, ignoring the crickets that didn't seem to go away, and reached for a bottle of beer, but I stopped myself. Alice didn't like it when I drank beer, even though she never said anything about it, I could tell by the way that she frown every time that I grabbed one. I grabbed a can of coke instead.
The medication was sitting on the countertop. I picked up each bottle and read it. I was trying to remember which ones I hadn't taken this week. I opened three bottles and dumped a small amount of the pills into my hand. I threw the pills into my mouth and started to drink the coke.
I put the lids back on the prescription bottles when I was done and headed toward the couch. The purple elephant was sitting behind the coffee table. I sat the can on the table in front of her and ran my fingers through my hair. That elephant was getting on my nerves. I noticed the prescription bottle sitting in the corner and grabbed it. It was the pain medication that Carlisle gave me.
I opened it up and dropped a few pills in my hand. There were small, blue, round pills that had the number 5216 imprinted on them. I grabbed one and held it to eye level. I had never seen a blue pain killer before, but hey, the doctor was always right. I threw a few of the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with the help of the coke.
"Don't!" Alice screamed.
I jumped at the sound of her voice, losing grip of the coke can it fell to the floor. I started to cough up the acid liquid, but I swallowed it back down when I noticed that I coughed up one of the pills. "What?" I screamed. I didn't mean to scream, I had just lost control of the volume of my voice.
Alice sat next to me on the couch, her cold hands grabbed onto my jaw. She dug her finger tips into my cheeks forcing me to open my mouth. She moved her head so she was staring down my throat. "No," she whispered shaking her head. "No, no, no."
She let go of my jaw and stood up, her hands shaking at her side as she shook her head. "No," she screamed. "No, damnit, no!" Her hands went into her hair and she looked up at the ceiling.
"What?" I asked again. I looked at the prescription bottle. There was nothing on it that said that I was in any trouble there were no skull and cross bones and no warnings that said not to take with other medication.
I looked at Alice. She was pacing in front of the coffee table. The purple elephant, who had moved to in front of the door was staring at me with wide eyes. She was mouthing something. I couldn't understand what she was saying. I think, no one can quote me on this, she was saying "why?"
"I'm sorry," Alice stopped pacing the room. Her hands dropped to her side and she turned towards me. "I overreacted." She opened her mouth to say something but then stopped herself. She walked around the coffee table and sat down next to me. She grabbed my hand and put it in her lap. She began to trace the bandages again.
I frowned at her. "Are you okay?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say.
She nodded. "I'm okay, I'm just, you scared me, that's all." She wrapped her hand around mine. "I don't like it when you pop pills."
I blinked. "I don't pop pills. I-"
"Or mix medications," she added. "It's not healthy and it will kill you." She looked up at me. Her fingers stopped tracing my bandage. "Why do you do it? I know it can't be because of the hallucinations." She smiled. I think she was trying to make a joke.
I smiled back at her, more out of impulse than actually feeling happy. I shrugged. "It doesn't make me feel. I like not feeling."
"But it hurts your friends." She went back to staring at the bandages. "Edward looked really excited to see you yesterday."
I snorted. "He wasn't excited."
"He came all this way just to see you," Alice reminded me. "You wouldn't make an effort to see someone if you weren't excited to see them." She started to trace the bandages.
I didn't say anything. I knew that she was right. I just didn't want to admit it. It was easier to pretend that no one cared about me and I was only hurting myself than to admit that people did care about me and I was hurting them to.
"What if you die?" she asked.
My head shot up. I tried to look her in the eye, but she was staring at my hand. "I'm not going to die," I promised her.
"Everyone dies, Jasper." Alice still didn't look at me. "It's a part of life."
I frowned. "Why are we talking about death? I'm immortal."
Alice looked up at me. Her eyes were wide. "And that scares me. You're not immortal. You're human and you need help."
I shook my head. "I don't want to have this conversation with you." My mind was screaming at me to kick her out of my apartment like I did with every other person that tries to have this conversation with me, but I was so afraid of her leaving that I didn't say anything.
Alice grabbed onto my cheeks. She held my face between her hands. I tried to pull them out of her grip, but she wouldn't let me go. "You're going to die if you don't get help," she said each word sharp and clear. Her voice was almost identical to Esme's, Edward's adoptive mom; she told me the exact same thing the day before graduation.
"I'm not going to die." I closed my eyes and shook my head, but Alice didn't let go of my face.
"You're in survival mode, Jasper." Alice's voice returned. "Do you honestly think that you're body can handle much more of the chemicals that you're putting in your body? You're constantly seeing things, your moods are unpredictable, you can't distinguish reality from a dream, you're going to die if you don't get help."
I grabbed onto her wrist and smiled at her. "I'm not going to die, Alice." I let out a sharp laugh as I pulled her hands away from my face. "I told you, I'm immortal. I've survived more things than you could imagine. I'm not going to die."
"You haven't died yet, that doesn't mean you won't die." Alice let her hands fall onto her lap. "You said that Edward's dad's a doctor-"
I shook my head. "I'm not talking to Edward's dad about this."
Alice bit her lip. "I don't want you to die, Jasper. It would kill me to lose you." She grabbed my hand again and put it on her lap. "You know better than anyone what drugs do to people, what it did to your mom. You know how much it hurt you…why would you do that to the people that you love?"
I wrapped my hand around hers. I didn't look at her. I continued to stare at our hands. "Does it hurt you to see me like this?" I looked up at her.
She didn't say anything at first. She looked at our hands. Her grip tightened around mine. "I don't want to see you hurt," she whispered. She looked up at me. "It hurts me to see you hurting."
I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them. "I'll talk to Edward tomorrow then," I promised her. "I won't promise that I'll go into treatment, but I'll see if there's anything that he can do to stop the hallucinations."
Alice smiled. "That's all I ask for."
"If it helps any, I took my medication with a coke this time." I let go of her hands so I could grab the coke that had fallen on the floor and put it on the table. I would have to clean up the mess that I made in the morning.
"It does." She leaned down so her head was resting on my lap. She bent her knees until her feet were pressed against her bottom. "Are you still seeing hallucinations?" she asked.
I looked around the room. The pink elephant was gone and everything looked normal. I looked down at Alice. She was tracing my jeans with her fingers. "No," I shook my head. "I don't."
I leaned back so my head was resting on a pillow. I closed my eyes. "I'm a little tired," I told Alice. "I don't know why, especially since I drank the coke."
"That's a common side effect with the Clorazine," she said.
"How do you know that?" I asked. I brushed her hair with my bandage hand. I wanted to look at her, but I was too comfortable to move.
I could feel her small shoulders shrug. "I just did…" her voice was soft, almost sad. I frowned at the idea that Alice was sad, especially since I agreed to talk to Carlisle.
"Why are you so sad?"
Alice shrugged again. "I'm just tired. I don't mean to sound sad, I shouldn't be." She went quiet. "Promise me that you'll call Carlisle tomorrow."
"I promise," I yawned. I was on the verge of falling asleep. "How did you know his name was Carlisle?"
"I just did," Alice said.
She started to hum. It was soft, if it wasn't so quiet in my apartment and if we weren't so close, I wouldn't have heard it. It wasn't helping me stay awake. I snuggled closer into the pillow on the back of the couch.
"I like that song," I told her. "My mom used to hum it to me when I was little."
"I know," Alice whispered.
"How did you know?"
"I just did."
I didn't say anything. I was already asleep.
Alice wasn't there when I woke up. I checked the kitchen, the bathroom, my room; I even went outside to see if she was on the balcony- she wasn't. I took the medication like I was supposed to; I read the prescription bottles and only took the recommended dosage. I even took the medication that Carlisle gave me. I drank it all with a can of coke.
I called Edward while I was waiting for Alice to come home. I guessed that she went out for a walk. Even I had to get a breath of fresh air every now and then. He agreed to talk to Carlisle about scheduling an appointment for me. I asked him about Bella and the wedding, after I apologized for being a jerk the other day. He told me the offer of being best man was open if I wanted it. I agreed to do it, as long as I was able to bring Alice with me. He said it was okay, after a moment's of hesitation.
"Hey," I said into my cell phone. "The medication that Carlisle gave me, what are the side effects?"
"Are you feeling okay?" Edward asked.
"Yeah, I'm just a little tired, I also have a headache."
"Did you take it with anything? Carlisle told you not to take it with alcohol."
"I didn't take it with alcohol. I don't know, it just makes me feel, weird. What type of pain medication is it?" I grabbed the prescription bottle and stared at it while I talked to him.
"It's not pain medication…" Edward said softly.
I frowned. My eyebrows furrowed. "What type of medication is it?"
Edward didn't say anything for awhile. I knew that we didn't lose connection because I could still hear him breathing. "It's for people with schizophrenia. Carlisle thinks it might help you with your hallucinations."
It took a second for me to process his words "…help with your hallucinations…" My eyes widened when reality set in.
I threw the phone, I didn't pay attention to where it landed, and jumped to my feet. "Fuck!" I screamed as I ran around the apartment, screaming Alice's name at the top of my vocal cords. I checked under the bed, in the closets, bathroom, anywhere that Alice could be hiding. She wasn't in there. She wasn't anywhere.
I ran back into the kitchen and opened my prescription bottles. I threw the pills onto the counter and grabbed handfuls of them. I wanted Alice back. I opened the fridge, there were no pink crickets, I didn't hear anything in Portuguese, I just heard silence.
I grabbed a beer and popped it open. I started to chug it with as many pills I could stuff into my mouth. I didn't care about my promise that I made, I wanted her back.
I got sick before I could swallow all the pills. I ended up throwing them up in the sink. I had no ambition to dig through the undigested alcohol to get them back.
I pushed myself away from the counter and walked back towards the couch. I was too sick to run. I felt light headed from vomiting. The phone was sitting on the coffee table, next to the book that Alice had been reading while she was here. I sat on the couch and grabbed it by the spine. My heart was pounding heavily in my ears. My breath caught in my throat when I read the title.
"Fuck," I said to myself. I threw the book onto the couch and kicked the coffee table with my foot. "Fucking hell!" I screamed as I jumped to my feet. My hands went into my hair. I looked at the title of the book and read it aloud in my head.
Girl is a Hallucination.
A/N: My favorite part of the story, where I try to defend my ending. Most people tell me I don't need to, but I put a lot of work into this story and I want to have at least some explanation.
Jasper always kind of knew that she was a hallucination. That's why he kept on taking all of those medications- he was trying to make her real.
Edward and Bella never really acknowledge Alice. They kind of were just like, "okay, cool, I don't see anyone…" He [Jasper] assumed the reason that they didn't see her is because that he had a lot of girls over before Alice came into his life. Staying in that chapter, the blood, the cuts, everything that Alice did to help him was gone when Bella and Edward arrived. He looked down and saw there was no towel and blood was on the carpet.
Also one of my favorite lines is "do hallucinations know they're hallucinations?" Alice, who is a figment of Jasper's imagination, didn't exactly know she was a hallucination, but she had instinct in her that wanted her to prevent Jasper from taking the medication that Carlisle gave him. It's kind of like a human instinct that we have to stay alive. If we know that something might kill us, we have that impulse not to do it. That's what she had.
The fact that the purple elephant didn't leave and was constantly returning, even though Jasper said that hallucinations hardly ever showed up more than once was another clue. We all know that pink elephants aren't real.
Alice had a tendency to disappear and when she suddenly had a different pair of clothes, but to her, she never changed, but Jasper knew that she had changed. That was me playing with the idea that hallucinations don't know they're hallucinations. She's not going to know that she suddenly changed clothes, because to her, she has no clothes to change into.
MY FAVORITE SCENE! The part where Alice had a vision of the stove catching on fire. If Alice had cooked, Jasper would have basically been leaving the stove on for a long time- with nothing it, so it would've caught on fire because it wasn't cooking anything. That was his mind telling him not to let Alice cook. That was his way of protecting himself.
Alice had a vision of someone (as in one person) coming over, and if you remember, Edward told Jasper he was coming over. Jasper just forgot, so Alice reminded him. And she didn't say "two people were coming over" she said someone. Jasper didn't know Bella was going to be there, because Edward never told him she was coming over, so of course, Alice didn't see Bella.
Every time that Jasper wishes on 11:11, his wish comes true, but not in the way that he would've hoped. He took medication, which made his hallucinations leave. It started with the pink elephant, then Alice, and finally the book.
The medication Carlisle gave Jasper is Clozapine. It's for people with schizophrenia. Alice knew it was for people with schizophrenia (which means that Jasper, in a way, knew it was to, but he just didn't really think about it, medication is medication to a drug addict), which is why she didn't want him to take it.
Alice knew that she was going to leave soon, so her last wish was for him to get better. Part of it was his brain saying "hey, you're killing me here" the other was me experimenting with hallucinations kind of feeling something for their host and Alice really wanted Jasper to be happy.
I thought this story through. I really tried to make it all work and I hope that I did. It's hard to write stories, especially stuff like this, so hopefully it's not bad. Hopefully I did a fair job with it. You have to give me some credit. I really did work hard to make it all work out in the end.
Please don't leave flames or rude reviews. I never said that it had a happy ending…and there were no character deaths. By the way, I'm posting this at 11:11. ;P
Daddy's Little Cannibal