I do not own Twilight etc.
||= Finally My Turn =||
Being the only female wolf in a pack sucks. Being the only female wolf in all of La Push and possibly the whole world sucks even more. Girls aren't supposed to be wolves, it's not the way things go. I am the first woman to join the La Push werewolves. My body paid the price, further proving that my being a wolf was not a part of the natural cycle.
I am twice, if not more, as big as any woman on the Reservation. I'm big, tall and fast. I could outrun any of the other wolves, human or furry. But if I could be a normal human again, I would gladly give it up. Being forced to join Sam's pack had been hell. The close proximity between us and being able to hear each other's thoughts had been almost too much to bear at times. The other wolves hearing our thoughts was humiliating enough, but after a while, I did my best to make them as miserable as I was. I didn't have to try very hard.
Finding out that being a werewolf directly affected my fertility was probably the worst part of it all. I could never have children, having entered menopause prematurely. I suppose that was the cherry topping on it all, just to remind me how miserable I was, and as I watch, everyone else was imprinting while I wasn't, always happy. I could hear it in their heads louder than a surround sound on full blast. Jacob, Quil, Jared, Paul and Sam, all turned into yappy little lap dogs. They won't be the last to imprint, either, I know.
And now that I'm second in command in Jacob's pack, things aren't as bad as before. I've accomplished myself in his pack, which I never could've in Sam's. But like I said, listening to the other wolves' thoughts; the cheery imprinted wolves, makes it seem almost like nothing, like I'm still missing out on the ultimate greatness. You just know you're missing out on something good when you hear their thoughts. You can feel their emotions better than if they described them in words, see the person as they themselves do. Maybe that's what killed me about Sam and Emily whenever I joined the pack.
I could see happy-go-lucky, lovable Seth imprinting anytime, any day. It was only a matter of time before he ran into the right girl. Embry, with the way everyone else was imprinting, had a good chance, too. Then I'd have to listen to them, too. But me? What chance did I have? None. I was the freak of nature. I'd never imprint or be happy, and even if it was just a force of nature that made me that way, I wanted it so badly. Like Sam often thought, imprinting is a way of ensuring that the wolf gene will be passed on throughout the generations. I can't give birth. If I was to imprint his theory would be meaningless.
Not to mention that I intimidate men. I'm ten times stronger and faster than they could ever hope to be. I'm bigger than most, too. But humans are uneasy around us, anyway, like they are with the blood suckers. We're intimidating, and we send off signals to their subconscious, putting up a big danger sign in their head. They needed to stay back to survive, or risk being torn to shreds at any given moment (which is obviously fine with some humans). So, I stood absolutely no chance unless I imprinted on some random guy, because then he'd really have no choice but to fall in love with me.
I spent most of my time sleeping, watching TV, or following the other pack members around when I'm able and their tolerant. I didn't enjoy things at all anymore; not people, not things. Most of the pack felt sorry for me. Since I'd left Sam's pack, and all the action had finally passed, my bitter thoughts had been replaced with depressed and sluggish ones. I did what Jacob told me, taking my fair share of patrol time and more to keep myself busy, but even that wasn't enough.
So, like I said, I spend some of my time following the other pack members. Embry was going out to a movie that'd been in theater a few weeks and half-heartedly invited me along. It was some sci-fi thriller that had previews all over TV, shown on every channel twice a commercial break. We were walking on the sidewalk and people in cars and across the street were gaping at us as we passed like we were a pair of circus freaks. I rubbed my hands together and wrapped my arms around myself, pretending to be cold since I'd left my jacket at home in the middle of winter. It was snowing outside, with ice on the road. I remained perfectly comfortable. Embry turned his head and smirked at me.
"You're a bad actress." He said.
I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything. When walked up to the ticket booth, I lagged behind him, studying my surroundings. A nerdy boy sat on a stool behind the glass, bundled in a massive windbreaker that made him look like Frosty the Snowman. He looked from Embry to me the same as everyone else, but I easily controlled the tremors that rippled down my spine. Embry's hands didn't even quiver as he took the ticket, maintaining a friendly expression as he moved away, whereas I gave the pimple-faced shit a sour glare.
We pushed the doors of the theater open and walked inside, a gust of warm air hitting us both in the face and ruffling our shirts. It might've been warmer to a human walking inside. The smell of popcorn and chocolate was a strong odor, which was rather overwhelming when you aren't expecting it. I cleared my throat and rubbed my finger under my nose discreetly, looking to Embry to lead the way. To anyone who didn't know us, you'd think we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I can't really see it, but lots of people treat us that way when they see us together. I guess it's because we're both huge Indians. To most white people, that's reason enough for us to be going outs. I just shake my head when they do, and I lick my dry lips and follow Embry down a hall, to the left and into the movie.
When we stepped inside the show room, the previews had already started and more than half the seats were thankfully empty. Embry went to the very front where the speakers blared, and I went to the very back right corner under the heating vent. The movie itself started a few minutes later and immediately took my interest with it. I didn't pay much attention to it throughout the whole showing. I only jumped at loud noises because my ears were so sensitive and nearly shot through the wall (literally) when someone screamed. I looked off in the general direction of the noise, and spotted a bunch of stupid teenagers throwing popcorn at the movie screen. It didn't take me very long to get pissed off. They were laughing and yelling and screaming, kicking the seats and horsing around. I was ready to tear their fucking heads off when the movie finally ended, and I hadn't even been watching it. They were laughing and carrying on like they were the only ones there.
When the movie ended, the first thing Embry did was get up, march to their seats and shove the biggest of the boys with shaking hands. His face was twisted up angrily, and I hopped several rows of seats to join in and help him, taking on two of the smaller boys, blocking them off from the other two.
"What the fuck is your problem?" the guy behind me shouted. There were two girls still in their seats, laughing and shrieking as they watched us. Embry didn't say anything, but I heard the guy's hand shatter when he took a swing at him. One of the boy's faces in front of me contorted as he stared at Embry, while the other raised his hands and backed away from me. I turned around to see if Embry was alright. I didn't want him to change right there in public with everyone watching. I wrapped one hand around his arm, which shook and went taut beneath my palm.
"We need to go, Embry." I said in a stiff voice. He looked at me once, jaw tight, then turns sharply and heads toward the exit. If we were free agents, I really wouldn't have minded if he'd killed the kids. Hell, I might've helped him. But I didn't want to have to clean that type of mess up later, and I didn't know what we'd do if the others survived and our secret was out. There was no telling what'd happen then, or where we'd turn. We were probably going to get in enough trouble as it was when we got back and Jacob found out what'd happened. But at least it wouldn't be as bad as Sam lecturing us about our responsibility.
I jogged to catch up to him as he went out into the lobby and shoved past scattering humans to the door. Rushing through, I bumped into someone hard, knocking them to the ground. I looked down out of habit, and the first thing I saw was the most expensive looking watch I'd ever seen. It was thick, with a heavy gold band. A Rolex? I picked it up, ready to hand it back to the person I'd accidentally bowled over, but stopped as our eyes met, frozen.
And then I got to experience what imprint really felt like. All I could do was stand there, stiff-legged, bent over with the watch clutched in my left hand, just staring at her. Glasses skewed on her face, hair hanging in her light eyes, skin as ashen as humanly possible, and she had a plump, round face bright red with embarrassment. She was absolutely the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life, scrambling to get up and away.
"Sorry." She said, not meeting my eyes again and repositioning her glasses on her nose. I couldn't say anything; just stare at her in disbelief. She was up and awkwardly making her way through the crowd and away while I stood there staring off after her. I'd only glimpsed her for barely a minute, and already she was the single most perfect being I'd ever seen. Everyone else's face was a big fat blob of dull color.
When she was out of sight, my mind was clear enough to actually focus on what had just happened, that I'd just imprinted. Finally, actually imprinted. To focus on the fact that I'd just fallen madly in love with another girl in sixty seconds, I couldn't have been happier. My lips twitched into a twisted smile until it stretched into a grin. I didn't notice how hard Embry was shaking my shoulder until he all but roared in my ear.
"Leah!" He bellowed, yanking my arm and pulling me towards the doors, forcing me into motion. My legs moved stiffly, like I had no knees as I followed after him. If I hadn't been so awed I might've fought him and bolted off to find her again, but I couldn't even think until Embry pointed out I had a twenty karat gold watch clutched in my left hand. So I stumbled behind him wordlessly until we were in the safety of the forest. I was so absent minded I changed without thinking, shredding my clothes. Leah Clearwater has imprinted on a total stranger!
EDIT: this version has been editted.