Do Not Own Characters
Chapter 4: Warm on the Inside Can Melt Cold on the Outside
I was on fire. That would have been the best explanation for this feeling. I was burning from the inside out. A reversal of my demise so many years ago. I was suddenly human. I was warm, a beating heart and a flush to the cheeks. I was a real boy. It was devastating the illusions this individual created for me. He slept, a peaceful look on his face, like he was in bed, warm and toasty, not in a cold vampire's arms. He rested on his side, his head positioned on my chest. We hadn't moved from our comfortable area for what was only an hour, but felt to be a blissful eternity.
"I love you."
I didn't deserve this happiness.
I listened in on his dream, smiling at the imageries. He was running naked through trees, an endless forest of trees. His mind focused on a destination. The trees turned into a pathway to a house, then the house morphed into a building I recognized as Forks high. He stopped and there was my face. The dream blurred and twisted into those wonderful works of colors he shared with me while conscience earlier; white, gold and bronze. I nearly died happy seeing the blur re-focus. White was my skin, bronze was his and the gold. My eyes on him as I whispered "I love you too."
"I do." I kissed the deep black hair on his head, feeling him squirm under me as he slowly came to.
"Mmm," He yawned, awakening, "Did you say something?"
I blinked a few times trying to adjust my eyes. I looked up at him to see a sweet smile on his face, "Nothing, love."
I smirked, "You were talking to yourself," He rolled his eyes, "Admit it."
His hand rested on my head, petting affectionately, "You know me too well." His tone was sarcastic, but light. I sat up, ready to retort, but to my surprise I realized I was naked. No shit, Sherlock. That kind of thing happens after sex, especially when it tends to be rough. His smile widened as he tuned in to my thoughts.
"Clothes are essential when you want no one to know you just boned someone." I said, sighing as I thought of my dad waiting for me.
"Or phased." He added cleverly. I let out a satisfied noise. Good cover up. I was ready to stand, but a look on his face had me hesitating. I couldn't just do him, nap and leave. If it was going to go down like this, I was better off demanding him to make me a sandwich. I was kind of hungry..
"Reading my mind and such, you should be aware that it's not that I want to go-" His brows furrowed at my words.
"Do you?" he cut me off. He didn't sound so accusing, just hurt.
I felt something in me stop. My heart? "Edward," saying his name now, made me feel odd. Like I was speaking to someone I knew belonged to me. Did he not see that?
"I'm just not sure." He shook his head, his eyes seemed hollow, no longer content and carefree as they were when I woke up.
"I don't just say things to hear the sound of my voice," I snapped, feeling angry that he couldn't see it, let alone hear it loudly in my head, "What I said to you in mid-coitus-you know, the boning part?- I was telling the truth." He searched my eyes as if digging. What for, I wanted to know.
Suddenly his eyes softened and he was relaxed again. For a moment he really did think I must of fooled him cleverly with my thoughts. I couldn't even do that with the pack, let alone one person.
"Try not to be upset with me," He started, his eyes concerned, "It is really hard to grasp this...happiness." He winced at the word like it was a disease, "but I can't help looking for the catch."
"Have fun with that," I said darkly, "And join me when you realize there's no catch to me."
"I didn't mean you." He frowned, shaking his head. The atmosphere changed drastically. I looked for my discarded clothes.
"Then what do you mean?" My back was to him as I threw on my jeans, but a noise had me turning around. It sounded very much like a choked sob, but one couldn't be sure. I turned to see him staring elsewhere that wasn't here a look of pure terror on his face. "Edward?" I asked, fearing the unknown. What was he thinking?
"The catch...You realizing what a monster I am, leaving, dying..." I sighed, happy it wasn't something big, "It is." His tone was miserably dark.
"No it's not." I corrected, "I have no plans of leaving and although you're a leech, you're no monster. It is very much not part of your make-up. You're more of the selfless self-torture type. The good, but emo." He chuckled at the last bit, probably noting how right I was.
"And the whole dying part..." I kneeled next to him, my hand resting on his bare neck, "I have you to protect me, right?"
A choked laughter was the only response I got.
"My protector," I said the words to him for the first time, "but I'm sure you already heard me think that." His hand lifted, covering my own. His eyes searched mine again, but it wasn't to dig, but to see if I was ready for something. I waited.
"I love you too." It sounded just as I dreamed. I closed my eyes taking it in. Wait 'til the pack hears about this one.
"No duh." Was just about all I could say without sounding like a choked up romantic. Cause really, I'm not.
"You reek." Alice chirped lightly after hugging me on sight. She saw me disappear again and longer this time so seeing me step into the house was relieving. Judging by my scent, she was sure as to where I was.
"Nice to see you too." I petted her shoulder, looking past her tiny figure to the living room. Emmett was watching a game as Rosalie sat curled up next to him a car magazine in her hand. She lazily flipped through the pages, noting I was back, but not looking up. Emmett tore his eyes from the screen and looked at me. His eyes lighting up as he glanced at my hair.
You're glowing, bro. Must of got some ass.
I laughed out, an uncharacteristic thing to do on my part. Alice pulled from our hug and eyed me strangely as Emmett smirked.
Knew it. Was all I got from him before he turned back to the game.
"What was that about?" Alice looked to Emmett and me and back again.
"I think Emmett has picked up on your skills." I teased. Her eyes narrowed and she stuck out a tongue.
"Well at least I know who you were with." She piped up. She stared at me for a second. Her eyes widening as she really took in my appearance. I got the brief flashes of what looked very much like my evening. She was almost dead on except for the fact that I wasn't the one topping.
"Oh..." She was quiet for a moment, "It is so obvious." She giggled in shock, "I mean, his scent is all over you." Rose's eyes snapped up at those words. She immediately caught on and growled rather loudly causing Emmett to gripe about not hearing the game.
What the hell is WRONG with him?! Having any type of relations with that mutt is beyond crazy, but fucking him? Edward Cullen, I always knew something was wrong with you.
I ignored her.
"Edward," I heard the small tinkle of Alice's voice, "Are you sure it is safe?" She didn't doubt my actions, rather the consequences. For him? I hesitated. I always thought I had a better chance protecting him from danger, rather than causing it for him. Jacob wasn't just a human. He could take care of himself when he needed to, but with me around, I could make his chances of harm were even slimmer...or were I increasing them?
"I don't know," I answered honestly. She nodded understandingly.
"Just be careful," She advised, "Things could get really hairy fast." Her mind whirred, digging for some sort of path of our future. She was coming up with blurs.
"It's okay," I assured her, grateful for her attempts, "I don't mind jumping in this blindly."
She shook her head, a small smile on her face as she took in my words, "Blind is what you are, Edward. This could definitely stir some dirt..." Her voice trailed off and her eyes shifted, unfocused. I immediately saw it. A woman, amber eyes and long raven hair, waiting as a figure stepped forward to greet her; James. His eyes were fiery as he pleaded with her.
"What was...?" I tried to pull together what that was.
"He plans on getting help, Edward!" Alice's voice was alarmingly high pitched and fearful."
"But who was she?" I went over that face in my head again. She didn't look familiar at all.
"I don't know," She focused again, a trail of images popping into her mind. I grimaced seeing her in the familiar settings of Forks, "But she just may be more dangerous than him."
I was gone for over 2 hours. I ran up to Charlie's house as he and my father discussed something interesting I'm sure. My looked a bit ravaged, my ribs ached and I could still taste him on my tongue. I was happy my father had no heightened sense as I did or I'm sure I would have gotten an earful. Charlie noticed me and spoke out happy I was back.
"Must of been a good friend to keep you talking for so long," My dad must have filled in him on some wacky story.
"Yeah, sure was." I said slowly, watching my father's face, "had a lot to catch up on." my dad nodded, giving me the okay. I didn't tarnish his cover story. Good. I waited patiently as they finished their conversation. My mind wandered to the last minutes I spent with a vampire. I thought about his confession and the kiss I gave him tempting me to go at it again. That last kiss was like...addicting. He tasted different, he tasted better. It was like trying my favorite dish with added spices, enhancing every spoonful. I came to the conclusion that confessed loves makes kisses taste better. As corny and romantic/comedy as it sounds, I thought I was on the right track.
Billy said his byes to Charlie and I gave a polite wave, my mind still on 5 minutes ago. We got in the car and drove off. My dad, once again, fell silent. I winced, dreading the worst.
"It wasn't Sam was it?" He asked flatly. I knew it was coming but my heart still jumped into my throat anyway.
There was no reason to lie, "No." I said calmly.
"Why?" He knew enough to skip the "who was it's. My eyes were focused on the road as the question hung in the air. Why was a perfect word, the theme of the week. Why was I having these feelings for someone I barely knew? Why was it the enemy? Why wasn't any of this making sense?
"Would it make you mad if I said 'I don't know'?" that was all I could give him, really.
"Jacob, there is nothing I can do to force you to listen to me," He sighed, "but what I see you doing is near suicidal and very much damaging to the way things are."
I found that nearly insulting, "Don't you think it is time for change?"
"Some things are meant to not change." His voice was small and tired.
Gravity. Makes sense. The earth spinning on its axis. Valid. The sky being blue. Of course. Love. Sure, why not. But..? "Werewolves and vampires never being friendly to one another..?" That made no sense. Granted, we were being more than just friendly.
"If he is your friend, I am sorry." I felt a gruff growl under in my chest as he spoke.
"You know what he is." I snapped.
All was silent except for the loud engine of the truck. Billy sagged in the passenger's seat almost as if he fell asleep. I was surprised to hear his voice clear as day. "I know." I stared ahead, afraid to look into his eyes. Was I going to see disappointment, anger, hate? Did his son loving a man, a vampire, disgust him? I didn't want to find out. I pressed on the gas, staring at the dead night. A small plop plop of water against the windshield played as a background track to the ride. I sighed, relating with the weather. I wonder if he was doing better on his side.
And so I'm reaching out for the one
and so I've learned the meaning of the sun
and all is like a message
come to shift my point of view
I'm watching through my own light
as it tints the shade of you
I needed to see him.
I stood still as stone staring at the black, wet night. He would be home by now, curled up in bed dreaming. Hopefully of me. I heard the familiar noises of rubber on gravel and seconds later a slam of a car door. Carlisle was home. It was time to talk.
"I don't know what to say, Edward." He really didn't. We stood in his study, my back to the door, him facing me.
"I'm not expecting you to know immediately what should be done," I started, "but it is important that you know what is going on. Alice has a point. Things can get hairy fast."
"It can." He replied, surprisingly with a smile on his face.
You look different.
I wanted to laugh, but all that came out was "You're the third person to notice." His smile widened. I was starting to believe Rosalie had the sanest reaction out of the bunch.
"Anyone who can make you look like that, no matter what they are, is someone I can call family." A warming sensation ran through my ribcage, where a dark, black heart once pumped. I was thankful for such a father.
"I'm..." I started, too touched to be coherent, "I don't think you're aware how happy that makes me."
"I do," He responded merely amused, "It is quite difficult to render a vampire speechless." I nodded in agreement.
"So I suppose that is your blessing?" It was odd asking such a question as if I was marrying the werewolf. I hesitated for a minute on that thought.
"My trust for you exceeds approvals, Edward. You know that." He said lightly, but I know he meant it. He never knew how to doubt me.
"I could be crazy." I dished out. I felt it. There was so much human compassion in me, I felt like it was causing me to believe I actually felt a beat against my chest.
"You look very much sane to me," He cocked his head, studying me, "And if I'm so brave to say...happy?" How could everyone read such an emotion through all this worry? "Don't be too rash, Edward. It's wise to be cautious, but foolish to jump to conclusions." He warned. I'd save that one for Jacob. His brain was wired to jump to conclusions be them right or wrong.
"I'm glad you told me," Carlisle spoke again, shifting through a few papers. His eyes met mine momentarily, "I can't wait to meet him." Carlisle noticed the small grin I tried my best to hold back and responded with a wink.
I'm sure he'd love to hear that one, huh?
I read it right before he disappeared. He wanted to make an appearance at the school. Just as the day before. I waited, hoping I looked patient and kept together. No one noticed but Jasper. He eyed me curiously on the ride to the school, but as everyone got out to head for their classes, he stayed behind.
Can we speak?
I nodded. Alice skipped ahead, her mind already on the conversation we would have. I was surprised. He wanted to talk about Jacob. No hostility.
"I'm not here to demand you to listen to some foolish advice I have," he started, "but Edward, I really think you need to know the level of your...feelings."
"Compared to others?" I finished. He nodded.
"It's a bit different," He looked confused as if he didn't know how to describe it. His mind ran through a dozen words and yet he stared at me speechless.
"Is it...healthy?" I tried for a word, but that was all I had also.
"You two play as two magnetic sparks," He finally blurted out, "that is the only way I can describe it. It is healthy if you keep your emotions balanced. Your heart can be a weapon." He added. Did this make it more right or wrong?
"Thank you, Jasper," my hand fell on his shoulder, giving him a squeeze of appreciation, "I mean it."
"I'm just doing what I think is right," He hesitated, "despite the situation."
"I understand and I appreciate you wanting to understand." He simply nodded. I was aware of his uncertainty. He never had a moment with Jacob personally, but from what he heard from Emmett and Alice, he assumed he couldn't have been an extreme danger. Yet there was still a part of him that saw Jacob as dangerous, one of the wolves. He was allowed to be unsure. That was his nature, our nature when it came to the inhabitants of La Push. I was just a bit screwed loose to no longer see in that aspect anymore, but what concerned me more than that was the fact that I didn't regret it. I pictured his face in my mind, the first night we met. We were drawn to each other. I felt it when I held him, a paternal type of attachment. It was unconditional but our bodies reacted in a sexual way.
It was as if thinking about him, brought his scent to me. I inhaled, a warming sensation taking over me. Was that his heat I felt?
Jasper's head jerked my way. He felt it too. He knew he was here. On instinct, he thought of Alice. I held up a hand.
"It's okay." He hadn't moved, "He just wants to see me." I finished.
"I know, but I don't think it would be a wise choice to see him at this moment." he pictured a big, black animal resembling a bear running along campus, striking those that pass, their bodies flying like rag dolls. It seemed like something from a cartoon. I let out a laugh, picturing how silly it looked. He joined in, realizing how unrealistic it was as well. Our laugh ended up getting wilder and louder. It was rare when we shared these moments by ourselves. There were still students walking towards class. Their eyes were on us, surprised that we had the capability of a sense of humor. Jasper gave a small wave as he turned back to his destination. My eyes shifted towards the trees where I could now see him leaning against a tree. He looked so...statuesque. I cracked a smile. A vampire thinking such a thing.
School could wait. I took the car, driving it a few miles down, before swerving off road into a clearing about a mile into the woods. I had already made plans to see him. Well with myself, but I'm sure he caught on. I guess there were advantages to reading my mind. I thought about the night before and nearly lost track of where I was going. There were a lot of advantages. I ran the rest of the way there, only stopping when I could see the structure of the buildings between the tree spaces. I was close enough for him to pick up my thoughts I was sure. I waited, sure to lean against a tree in order to catch my breath. I thought back to the conversation I had in the car with Billy. At least he was aware now that something was going on between us. As much as it made it more difficult to see Edward, it would make it simpler than just lying and have him worried. It wasn't his fault I was falling for a Cold One.
"I forgot that is what they called us." his voice was like a lullaby, yet it surprised me to hear it so close. How the hell did he come without me seeing him?
"You get easily distracted when you are in your head," He responded. I felt cold hands wrap around my waist and cool lips on my neck, "That's something we have in common."
"So you're all caught up then?" He answered by kissing the skin just under my ear. I sucked in a hiss, feeling a tingle in my lower abdomen.
"I told my father too." he said. I pulled away and turned a bit surprised by his actions. He stood there, a content smile on his face. As if he woke up from a good dream.
"Whoa, you mean the Doc, right?" He nodded. "And what did he have to say about that?" I was shocked to see his smile widen as he shook his head as if he was sharing a private joke with himself.
"He wants to meet you." He finally said, his eyes focused on me for a reaction. I felt my eyes widen and my jaws drop.
"You got to be kidding me!" I stammered, "When was the last time he fed?" This struck Edward as hilarious. He threw his head back, laughing quite loudly. What the hell was going on? His father accepting of me? This had to be a weird dream.
"He's too compassionate for his own good," Edward responded to my thoughts, "He would love to meet your pack too if they weren't so keen on killing us." That last bit came out more serious than I think he intended it to. I sighed. There was still that.
"They don't want you dead."
"Liar." He said lowly. Why did I attempt to make him feel better when he could read my thoughts anyway?
"Well I don't want you dead," I said honestly, "And I don't want your family dead either." His eyebrows raised dramatically. We both didn't see that one coming. His eyes softened considerably. I felt a tug on my jeans as I fell into him. His arms were around me again, this time in a hug.
"You're willing to sacrifice the ideals of your pack for the sake of my happiness." He whispered into my ear. I didn't see it all like that, "That's brave."
A small action like not hating his family? "How is that brave?" I asked.
"You're alienating yourself. You're willing to do things against how it has been done and you're willing to do it alone. That is pretty brave, wouldn't you say?"
"I suppose," I muttered, "If you put it that way."
"I'm not putting it in any way." He chuckled.
"Yeah, you are." I pulled away from his hug, getting frustrated. He waited with an amused look on his face, "Your words are so...flowery."
"Flowery?" He asked with a raised brow.
"Yeah, flowery. It's a word, Google it." He merely smiled, "There is nothing brave about what I'm doing. I love you enough to love your family too." I jumped back at the sudden jerk of his body. It was like he was going to attack something behind me, but he didn't move. His eyes were wide with...joy?
"Say that again." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Which part?" I wasn't sure I could even remember what I said.
"The part about you loving me." His voice was too tender for the conversation. I felt like he was about to propose to me.
"Uhh...I love you?" I choked out a breath as I was squeezed against his marble chest, "Breathing...becoming...an issue...Edward." I panted. He pulled away instantly.
"It is ridiculous how happy you make me."
I didn't know what to say. I wasn't good with the mush, "That's good." He chuckled, kissing my lips lightly before pulling away. He suddenly looked determined.
I was fearful for the situation. If he got any more giddy, I may just bolt. Lack of oxygen was the least of my worries. Turning the moment into our own personal musical would be pushing it.
"Jacob," He started.
"You're not going to sing are you?" I asked. A hand came up to cup my cheek.
"Come with me." He didn't wait for a reply. He took my hand, pulling me out of the shadows of the trees towards the campus.
He was surprised to see us heading towards the parking lot. I could hear the confusion as he thought of numerous things. None of them close to what I wanted to do. My actions were new to him, the sudden burst of emotions. He wasn't the only one. I felt like a different being, my vampire memories fading as the short span of time I had with him dominated. He hesitated outside my car as I got in. The anticipation was killing him.
"Edward..." He said eyeing the Volvo with wonder in his eyes. He had a thing for cars. Something I needed to remember for later.
"It's okay, love," I assured. He frowned at the pet name.
Now that is something I have to get use to.
He got in. He settled into the passenger's seat, his eyes on me. He opened his mouth to ask of our destination, but thought it better to not say anything. I was surprised to feel a sudden wave of heat. His hand hovered over my right. I waited patiently as it fell onto mine. I responded by entwining his warm fingers with my own cold ones. He sighed contently instead of pulling away, already use to the temperature difference. With a brief glance at my new live, I reversed the car out of the parking lot and took off down the road.
The look on his face when he caught sight of the house was comical.
"Why are we here?" He asked, as I pulled up to the garage.
"I want you to see where you will be spending a lot of your time." He raised an eyebrow at that, asking himself why such a thing would be so, "I love outside adventures as much as you do, but I want our moments shared to not be hidden from the rest of the world." He smiled at that, "Besides. I don't think I gave you a proper tour." I unbuckled my seatbelt as I turned off the engine. Before he could even unclick his, I was opening the passenger door for him.
"That won't be necessary in the future," Jacob rolled his eyes, but got out.
"Humor me." I took his hand in mine and guided him inside, showing him the first floor. No one was home. Both Esme and Carlisle were working and of course everyone else were at school. I had him all to myself.
"Let's skip the tour." Jacob said abruptly, "I want to see your room." His mind was as one-tracked as mine. I showed him the way, opening the door as he walked in first. His eyes examined and observed the entire space, taking note of the indent on the wall. He smiled remembering how it got there.
"Your room is interesting," He ran his hand along the CD's on a shelf, "you listen to a lot of music I take it,"
"I do have all the time in the world."
"You sure do." He bent over, examining a shelf of indie music. He gave a satisfied grunt, approving my selection.
"See anything you like?" I asked curiously. He stood up, turning to face me.
"Damn right." His eyes settled on me. He stood a few feet from where I was. We held that distance for a few minutes, not saying anything. This silence reminded me of one we had days ago. It had made him uncomfortable, but now it secured him like a blanket. He was safe here with me even if we spent our moments in silence. This pushed me to be the first to speak.
"Are you hungry?"
"I've already eaten." He eyed me curiously.
"Is there anything you want to do?" I waited patiently for an answer. He said nothing. His mind was wiped clean. He was mastering this talent quite nicely. I knew what would come. An attack. Perhaps my lips or his hands groping me, but it never came. He stood where he was, a smirk on his face as he read my expression. I knew he saw frustration. He leaned against the shelf, his eyes not leaving mine. He looked smug. I noticed how his muscles relaxed as he eased his weight. His torso stretched in a way that I could now see the tanned skin under his shirt, the toned muscles exposed. I felt the sudden desire to touch it.
"Come here." I growled, turned on. He shook his head. He was blocking his mind well enough, but I could finally get peeks of his thoughts. Those colors again. I no longer had the desire to touch him, but the need. I closed the gap between us within a second, noticing how he jumped at my speed. I gave him no time to respond. I kissed him roughly, dying to taste him again. The taste of him was tangier than I remembered, but I was already addicted to it. His arms encircled my neck, raking through my hair and tugged. I responded by pulling him to me. I caught him off guard, his legs buckling. I followed his body down, careful not to fall on him as he tripped backwards. His back met with the floor of my room with a muted thud. He didn't seem to notice as he continued suckling my tongue suggestively. My body immediately reacted and his caused him to begin a slow rhythm of his body, grinding against me.
"Jacob..." I moaned into his mouth as he added a whimper of arousal. I couldn't take it. I pulled back, flipping him over roughly on his stomach. I wouldn't be satisfied until I was in him.
"Edward!" He protested as I aggressively ripped off his jeans, "Those were my favorite ones!" He laughed out at my absurd behavior.
"I need you now!" I growled.
He moaned, "Patience is a virtue." His voice was husky and low.
A voice within me screamed "Fuck patience!" The scent of him was enough to drive me wild, but the taste had me nearing insanity. I sighed, kneading his bare skin, getting a shudder of pleasure from under me. I was literally as hard as a rock, tempted to just enter him right then and there, but my desire was only clouded by his well being. I wanted him to enjoy this as much as I. I wanted him well prepared. Unfortunately vampires are in no need of lotion or any type of lubricants for the body. I stared down at my temptation and came to a conclusion. I leaned over, kissing his soft skin. His back muscles tensed, his head craned my way as he let out a gasp.
"Edward, what are you doing?" He cried out. I spread his lush flesh, feeling him shudder as my face neared his heated skin.
"No!" He stammered, getting a hold of my locks and attempted to pull me away from his backside, "Please, not there." He was scared and I was scaring him.
"It's okay, Love," I kissed his skin again, "I want to." I massaged his warm flesh as I lowered my head. His body heated up considerably, I couldn't decipher whether it was embarrassment or pleasure and I didn't wait to find out. I rimmed his entrance lightly, he tensed causing me to pull away. I needed to soothe him first. I lifted his shirt, exposing the beautiful brown flesh under. I began a trail of kisses from his shoulder blade down his spine. It was working. He was relaxing, moaning into a hand cupped over his mouth. I was back to my target and he knew it.
"Please..." He whimpered, his thoughts of the action was between erotic and disgust. It was easy to understand why, given the body part, but once he felt it, I'm sure he wouldn't want me to stop.
"I love you," I whispered against his skin, "and I want you to feel as little pain as possible." He bucked up, whining in pleasure when I finally delved my tongue in him.
"My God!" He cried violently, clenching around it. I pushed in and out happy to see he finally was giving in, grinding against my tongue. His hand disappeared to the front of his body, tugging what was already leaking. It made my mouth water with venom. I immediately pulled my tongue out of him. He groaned in disappointment.
"More." he cried.
I got up, kicking out of my jeans. I walked to my closet, getting the blanket he had worn as a toga. Traces of his scent was still on it. I folded it neatly before placing it under his head as a pillow. Being done against the floor wouldn't feel good against his human body. He mumbled a very attractive "Thank you" before I was right back behind him, kissing the small of his back. I positioned myself carefully. He was patient, but his breathing came out shaky and raspy. I felt myself stretching him slightly, the head of my arousal pushing deeper in him. He tightened around me and I stopped, wondering how bad it felt for him.
He shivered uncontrollably. I couldn't do it if it was going to be a discomfort for him. I began to pull away.
"No!" He yelled out, "I'll get use to it."
"I'm sorry, Jacob." I said, disappointed with myself for thinking I could get this far with his human body, "I'm not going to let you tolerate what I feel like."
"I'm not tolerating." He said through gritted teeth, "Stop being so polite and fuck me already." He bucked up against me, swallowing all of me in his warm body. It was my turn to shiver. He very much felt like an oven, toasting my icy flesh. My head fell against his shoulder as his back met with my hips.
"Harder." He ordered, knowing I was restraining myself. I pushed against him with more force, but not all my strength. His muscles spasmed as he gasped at my aggression behind my thrusts. He was beginning to enjoy the sensation of me invading his body. As he tightened and massaged my length, he whimpered and whined, writhing against me.
"Promise you'll stay in me." He pleaded. My mouth watered at his words.
"I promise." I growled, kissing his warm skin with pressure. I exposed my teeth, clamping on him, but not breaking skin, but I wanted to. Very badly.
"Keep going," He whispered, "I'm going to-" My hips jerked faster than any human could attempt. He cried out in pain, clenching around me as his back tensed once again, preparing for a climax. I felt the series of spasms around me and I bucked harder, my body shuddering along with his as I came to a high.
"I love you." he whispered, his body slumping into the blanket. Venom filled my mouth. I inhaled sharply, smelling his essence. It was intoxicating. I felt my teeth bite harder into his skin. He gasped, crying out from pleasure. He had no idea what I was thinking.
I screamed with outrage as I pulled away from him, nearly flying across the room. His body, weak with the use of all that energy, turned slowly.
"Edward, what-" He got up, wincing.
"Stay where you are." I ordered. He listened, not moving.
"What is it?" His eyes were still lidded as he sat up. I noticed it then, a few bruises on his chest. I must have slammed him into the floor. The thought had me horrified.
"I can't." I mumbled pathetically. His eyes narrowed.
"You can't what?" He said darkly.
"This is the first time, I wanted to-" I cut myself off, feeling dread take over. So this was the catch. I was too dumb to see. It was the blood. James yearned for it, that raven haired vampire would thirst after it, like me.
His eyes softened, taking me in. He stood, ignoring my warnings. "It is instinct to want my blood, Edward. Especially when we get physical. It is an automated response." I didn't reply. He sighed, "I get warmer. Probably like a degree, but I warm up when I'm turned on. It almost feels like I'm going to phase. That's how my body responds."
"I can handle you phasing," I replied darkly, "But you can't handle my venom. It can kill you."
He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I don't mind risking that."
"I do." I snapped. He came closer, touching my face with his hand, but I jerked away. He hand fell to his side, hurt by my response.
"Stop torturing yourself." He growled, "Being in love is a fucking risk if you haven't noticed."
I suddenly thought of Jasper's warning. The heart is the worst weapon. I inhaled his scent, finally familiarizing with that burn again. The burn I had learned to suppress. I felt like a monster again.
"You'd die for me." I said lowly. He nodded without hesitation, "By me?"
"In a second."
I jumped back startled. "What is wrong with you?"
"I'm not afraid to live." He seemed unabashed by my question.
"Well if you haven't noticed, I'm dead."
"Good," he growled, "All the more reason for you to take risks." I wanted to punch him for his stupidity, but kiss him for his intense, strong emotions toward me.
"James wants you dead and he is coming back with company. The danger of him finding you is...high, but nothing compared to what I can do to you or vice versa."
"So that leech is coming back for seconds." He said calmly, "So what you're saying is that you can't do this because you'll be risking my life and/or my emotional stability?"
"Yes." I said flatly.
"That is the lamest excuse I ever heard." He said bluntly, his arms crossed, "I'm not letting you go anywhere, Edward. Get use to it."
"I could have killed you." I tried again. This was his last time to get out easy. I wasn't sure I could keep pushing. Not when I loved him too damn much.
He shrugged, "Nothing new," His hands came up to cup my cheek again. I leaned into it, happy he could still have such affection towards me, "Besides I'm more than willing to go that way. At least I'd die happy." He said jokingly.
I sighed, not happy with my weakness. I was selfish, "I don't think I can leave you if I tried."
"Good." He smirked.
I would give anything to leave it here. Be happy with his acceptance, but he still knew as did I, that this risk we were both taking wasn't going to be easy. As others thirsted for his death, his blood, his own wanted my family gone. We were naturally enemies. I was suddenly aware that I had the potential to taste him, kill him and when the loss of his life couldn't pull him away from me, what could? I suddenly felt remorse. The catch was everywhere and sooner or later, the one person I couldn't live without would eventually leave me. By death or by choice. My world crumpled at the thought.