A/N: So I got the new Escape the Fate CD for Christmas and there's a song on there called 'Harder Than You Know' and it fits Bella and Jacob's relationship so I'm writing a one-shot. Italics means its lyrics! So to the story! Helps if you listen to the song while reading, so use Youtube.

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Dear Bella,

I know I was never your first choice when it came to loving someone, yet you never gave me a chance so how would you know? I know I sound like a jerk, sorry if I do, but Bells, just know that not loving you is hard for me. I miss you, but I know in my heart I can never have you, not now, not ever. Once you were what I lived for, but I now I see it was all for the sake of protecting a friend, I guess that's all I'll ever be to you-- a friend. What you don't know is, not loving you is harder than you know. Even if I imprint it probably won't be as strong as what I felt for you. A person can never forget their first love, that's how was for you, when that leech left, am I right? Inside me there's only heart ache and pain. I guess I'll just have to go-- go out of your life, I won't be there to ruin it for you any more, so you don't have to worry about me screwing up your wedding. Now you can live happily ever after with your leech. Maybe one day I'll forget that heart ache you put me though and learn maybe just being friends was enough.

Sincerely your friend,

Jacob Black

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I dropped the letter and grabbed the desk closes to me and reached for the phone and dialed in Jacob's number. After the third ring Jacob picked up.

"Hello?"

"Jake, its Bella."

"Bells, don't talk to me, I'm trying to let go. As I told you in the letter, not loving you is harder then you know."

"But, Jake--"

"Bells just don't speak, just leave me alone, I going to go bye."

I heard the receiver make a buzzing noise and I dropped the phone and fell to my knees. I heard the door open and I heard footsteps and cold hands on my arms.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I hurt him…I hurt him so badly…"

"Who'd you hurt, sweetheart?"

I felt the warm tears run down my face and just cried on the floor for a long, long, long time.

So if I'm the fire you've become the rain…

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A/N: Okay done, remember Italics means the lyrics and the song it Harder Than You Know. It sucked by whatever y'all can deal with it. I love angsty things. Oh and I guess this could be set during eclipse…? Anyways bye now!