DISCLAIMER: Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The intellectual property including but not limited to all characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds, and details belong to LoveEqualsEDWARD. Plagiarism is theft so please, no copying or reproduction of this work in any language is permitted without express written authorization of the author.
Shit, shit, shit.
How the hell do I talk Bella out of this? A child is simply out of the question.
Throughout the past few months, I've watched as Bella became increasingly fixated on the idea of having a child. Every time I'd come home from a trip, she'd want to have sex over and over again, saying that we needed to take every opportunity to increase the possibilities of conceiving. Not that I ever mind having sex with my wife; Bella is an alluring and desirable woman. However, her preoccupation with becoming pregnant was turning our lovemaking into a chore that was no longer enjoyable.
Besides, how do you tell your 26-year old wife that you don't intend on having children, ever? I know that I should be honest with her about this - hell, I should've been honest with her in Paris, but we were so caught up in each other that I miserably failed at revealing that one bit of important information. But the fact is that I never truly intended on telling her. She would have never married me. That said, I do love Bella. I truly do. Just not in a conventional way. Nonetheless, I fear that if I don't find a way around this, I could lose her, and that's something that I won't let happen.
From the moment I met Bella, I knew that she was the perfect woman in every way. Beautiful, intelligent, successful, independent, and just a tad naive. I was instantly attracted to her and knew from our first conversation that she fit the image of the future Mrs. Carlisle Cullen, perfectly. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella had to be my wife. Besides, I was already in my 30's and people were becoming suspicious of me. I knew about the gossip. I was either a man-whore (which always made me laugh) or gay. But, I didn't want word of either of those accusations to get to the wrong ears, so I needed to find a way to appease the worried husbands who often wondered if I'd bedded their wives (which I definitely had) and the gossipy harpies who seemed to make it their lives' mission to figure out and expose me - as what, I'm not sure, but I needed to shut them all up permanently. Bella was the perfect tool. Part trophy wife, part cover, part lover. What I didn't count on was actually getting to love her and I certainly didn't count on her desire to have a child with me.
It was pretty ignorant of me to think that Bella would never want to have child. After all, she's well within her best childbearing years and she's in love. Too bad that she married a predatory bastard who would never indulge her.
As the late night's sky blanketed the city, I swiftly made my way towards my current flavor-of-the-week's penthouse; as always, telling the wife that I had business in Vancouver to attend to.
However, tonight was different than most in that Bella was extremely upset and agitated by the news. To be honest, I hadn't even planned on heading to Heidi's tonight, but after the 3rd round of arguing, nagging, and demands from my wife, I realized that I needed to leave and just sprung news of the "business trip" to Vancouver on her without prior warning.
So, after one final round of arguing, I had my bag packed and was out the door soon after.
The night was unseasonably warm and I opted to ride with the Mercedes' convertible top down for a change. The pleasant weather would help me clear my thoughts of Bella and mentally prepare for the bliss that awaited me in Heidi's delectable company. However, as I made my way down the 101, I couldn't stop thinking about how - over the past many months - Bella and I had argued almost incessantly about my frequent travels and her desire to have a baby. Our baby.
I shuddered at the thought of hearing the words, "our child," from any woman ever again. But by the same token, I was not willing to lose Bella over something like this and I needed to think of something quickly to appease her. Surprisingly, even to myself, what I felt for Bella was far bigger than anything I had ever felt for any other woman in the past, and that included Rosalie Hale.
I hadn't thought of her in years. Why did my thoughts suddenly betray me with images of her beautiful face? Of course...the baby. Rosalie was the first and only woman who would ever be able to say that she carried Carlisle Cullen's child in her womb. Lucky for me that she chose to take care of that little problem.
Bringing my thoughts back to the present, I thought about ways to convince Bella to adopt instead of having a child of our own. Thanks to my work with the CCF Children's Charities, I had seen first hand what children who grew up in poverty stricken areas had to endure, so it wouldn't be hard to convince Bella that adopting one of those unfortunate children would be the most responsible, unselfish thing to do.
I almost laughed when I thought about the words I'd chosen to pitch the adoption issue to Bella. "Responsible" and "unselfish." Two words that never really registered in my vocabulary. They were words that had no real value to me. I lived my life to the fullest by indulging the basest form of human need. Lust. Where selfishness and irresponsibility were a package deal. That was something I understood. Something I craved.
Yes, I was a despicable bastard.
I had a young, beautiful, and extremely loving wife at home and yet I still couldn't help but stray. Casual sexual encounters with throngs of beautiful women throughout my adult life had become something that thrilled me to my core and I craved it like the air that I breathe. Having married Bella did curb those desires for a while; after all, she's an amazing woman who can appeal to any man with her intelligence, her beauty, and her charm. But once we got into the monotony of married life after we settled in Seattle, the predator in me licked his lips and went in for the kill once again.
Especially after running into Heidi again.
So, this night, like many others before it, would be spent wrapped up in the naked body of someone other than my wife. Part of me despised it. However, part of me (the biggest part of me) thrilled at the idea that I was able to have my cake and eat it too. After all, eating it was my specialty.
"Hello?" Said the groggy female voice.
"Heidi. I'm on my way. Be naked when I get there." I said.
"Oooh, Doctor Hot Bitch is gracing me with an unexpected booty call this evening!" She replied in her usual sarcastic tone. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Wait. Let me guess. The wife is being an insufferable bitch again?"
Heidi always knew how to press my buttons. I don't even know why I kept going back to her; she had such a filthy mouth. However, she could do some pretty amazing things with that filthy mouth of hers, and well...as long as she kept her comments strictly sexual, her hot Italian fire was the one I craved these days.
"Cut the shit, Heidi. I'm not up for it tonight." I said. "Are we fucking tonight or should I just drive back home?"
"Aw, come on over Carly-baby. You know that I will never say no to a good fucking from you."
I hung up the phone and pressed down on the gas. I needed some release and Heidi knew just to give it to me.
I let myself in, using my key to Heidi's apartment. I knew my way through her place, even in the dark, almost as well as I knew each contour of her big breasts, her body, and the delicious cleft between her legs. Walking into her bedroom, I found her sitting - bare as the day she was born - on a loveseat next to her vanity, legs spread, one leg hooked over the arm of the chair, awaiting my arrival. I didn't hesitate and went in for the kill.
Pulling her up from the seat by her forearms, I shoved her body over the armrest, with her hands all the way down to the floor, ass up, ready for me to fuck from behind. I was hard and beyond ready. Using one hand to unbuckle my belt, yanking my pants open, and releasing my straining cock, I gripped Heidi's hip with the other in order hand and brought her ass flush with exactly what I intended to give her much of tonight.
I sucked my thumb for a second before pushing it into her tight behind, plugging it as I slid my hard cock into her pussy. Despite Heidi's arrogant, ballsy attitude, she was a very willing sexual submissive who always enjoyed a good ass plugging. I pulled my finger out and continued to pump her dripping cunt, tracing the outlines of her rim, rubbing and massaging as I fucked her.
Looking up from the mesmerizing view below me, I realized that she had placed a full-length mirror in front of us in order to watch ourselves fuck. I smiled. Heidi was a deviant of the worst kind and was always prepared.
I continued to pound into her, as she moaned and yelled profanities at me in pleasure. Yeah, she liked it rough, and rough was exactly what I was in the mood for. I watched as her tits rocked in the mirror while I continued to thrust into her, her hair waving back and forth as little grunts escaped her, "Ungh. Ungh. Fuck me, Carlisle. Ungh. More. Fuck. Fuck me harder. More."
Heidi was an insatiable freak and I loved it. I loved watching her ass shake each time my hips met hers.
"You like my cock, you dirty little cumslut?" I asked with a smile in my voice. I knew she loved it when I talked dirty to her.
I picked up the pace of my thrusts and she yelled, "Fuck Carly, I can feel your balls inside me! Jesus Christ! Only you can own my cunt like this!"
Her naughty words always threw me over the edge.
"Unghhhh....I love putting my cock in your dirty fuckholes, my little whore," I replied. "Your pussy is so wet, Heidi. Can you feel how hard you have me?"
I watched, rapt with delight as the muscles on either side of her spine twitched and relaxed as we fucked.
"You're so fucking sexy, Heidi." I said, in awe of her delectable body. The curve of her back, the shape of her ass in the air, and her huge tits - with her arms locked straight as I held her body up and fucked her harder and faster.
"I need to blow, Heidi. Are you close? Tell me when I'm there."
Heidi's breaths were coming in ragged and shallow and she could barely speak from the pounding I was giving her.
"There!" She yelled. "Right. Fucking. There. Don't you fucking dare stop!"
My brain rewound and memorized that exact position and thrust so I could do it to her over and over, taking Heidi towards her impending orgasm. I felt the tip of my cock nudge her spot and she yelled, "Holy fuuuuck!"
"Yes, Heidi, take my cock, baby," I breathlessly replied.
I reached in front of her body and used my thumb to rub and apply pressure to her clit in tandem with my thrusts as a tingle started deep within me. My body also begging for the go-ahead to come.
"Please Heidi, please come with me as I'm right at the brink." I begged.
I almost drooled as I fucked her because her pussy was just too good at that angle. Heidi is fucking amazing and I wanted to show her just how much I loved fucking her, so I removed my thumb from her clit, still dripping with her pussy juices, and pushed it into her ass again. She gasped and her orgasm began to rock her. Her back arched and her body trembled almost violently. I circled her rim with my thumb as she came down from her release; I still hadn't achieved my own, although I was dangerously close already.
"Do it, Carlisle. It's your turn." She urged, with my cock still inside her.
I pulled out from her sweet box and circled the loveseat to stand in front of her, my wet cock in hand, trying not to come everywhere. Heidi slid up and rested her belly on the armrest. Her gorgeous tits hanging over the edge as she reached for her prize. Grabbing the base of my slippery package, she stroked me hard. Squeezing. Tugging. All the while smiling, knowing that I was going to explode.
"FUCK!" I yelled.
I reached for her head, but couldn't quite move with the force of my orgasm. My head tipped back and my toes curled into the carpet.
"Uuunnnggghhh!" I moaned in absolute pleasure. My thick white come spurted out of me, over her shoulder and down her back.
Heidi kept stroking my cock, making it even more sensitive.
"Please Heidi. Holy fuck, stop." I begged.
She looked at me wickedly and jerked my cock one more time before licking beneath my tip and releasing me. I collapsed onto my knees in front of her, placing my hands on either side of her face and assaulted her mouth with a forceful kiss.
Both of us clearly exhausted, we picked ourselves up and walked towards her bathroom, hand in hand, where we'd surely go for round two.
Ugh, what time is it?
I looked over at the clock on Heidi's nightstand.
Shit, I didn't call Bella to let her know that I had arrived in "Vancouver" safely.
I rolled to my left where Heidi was laying, fast asleep in all her glory. As I gazed at her naked form, I forgot what it was that I'd awakened for, and soon enough, I was once again filled with the need to posses her. However, in typical Heidi fashion, she rolled onto her side and mumbled, "Let yourself out, Carlisle."
I chuckled at how detached she was. This arrangement between us was exclusively about sex and Heidi was my absolute favorite fuck because the lines were never blurred with her. She was no Rosalie, no Victoria, and definitely no Bella.
I reached over and pulled on Heidi's shoulder until she turned to face me.
"What the fuck, Carly? Can't you just let yourself out?" She said groggily.
"Heidi, what the fuck do I do about Bella? Help me here. This is uncharted territory for me." I replied.
Heidi rolled over to look at her alarm clock and groaned.
"Now is when you decide to have a conversation with me? Fuck!" She replied in an annoyed tone, but quickly sat up and turned on her bedside lamp. Of course, being the virile man that I am, I couldn't help but focus on her delectable chest as she turned to speak to me.
"Carlisle! My eyes are up here! Shit! Focus!" She scolded playfully.
I laughed and proceeded to tell her the specifics of my situation with Bella, of how she yearned for a child from me, and how I'd never fulfill that wish.
"And at what point, pray tell, were you planning on telling her that you've had a vasectomy?" Heidi said in a disbelieving tone.
The truth is that I did intend on telling Bella about the vasectomy. About my reasons for having had it done years prior, but without specifically saying how much I detested the idea of being a father. However, I had been so caught up in her, her essence, and her body throughout our stay in Paris that by the time we'd said 'I do', it seemed too late to divulge without her backing out. And I needed Bella in my life. Not just as a cover to my deviant ways, but because I needed her in many different ways. She mattered more than any other woman ever had.
"Heidi, it's not that simple. I had an egotistical, over-bearing, emotionally abusive bastard for a father. My mother died when I was very young. I don't know the first thing about loving unconditionally, much less unselfishly. You know this!" I said, "Besides, having a child would ruin my lifestyle."
She snorted before replying, "I'd still fuck you."
"Actually, the very idea of being a father makes me sick, but I also know that I'm robbing Bella of something which she has every right to desire and have. After all, she's only 26 years old, and had she married someone else, she'd have as many babies as her heart desired by now." I said, feeling almost exasperated by Heidi's teasing tone.
I needed to find a solution and fast. Bella had already been talking about seeing specialists - all who would tell her that she was perfectly healthy and able to conceive naturally, I'm sure. But when time passes with no conception in sight, she'd undoubtedly have me sent to labs to have my sperm collected for evaluations that would surely uncover my sin of omission and I'd lose Bella forever.
"Heidi, this is serious. This is the future of my marriage we're talking about. I won't lose Bella. She's everything to me."
Heidi laughed wickedly as she said, "Funny way you have to show how much you love her, don'tcha think, lover?"
She didn't understand.
"Don't misunderstand. I. Love. Bella. I want her to be happy. With me. But I'm not gonna die without something in my life that thrills me to my core, and this..." I motioned at the air between us "this shit between us, thrills me to my core. I can't stop. I wont stop. But that doesn't mean that I don't want Bella to have what she yearns for." I said, almost indignantly. "I asked for your help, Heidi, not your judgment."
Heidi leaned her body into me and sucked on my earlobe as she said, "Aaawww, no judgment from me, lover. I just think that you should start by being honest with her for once in your life. If she loves you, she'll forgive you and won't leave."
Was that a chance that I was willing to take with Bella?
Heidi and I had sex one final time before I made my way to a hotel for the night. I never stayed overnight at my lovers' homes, as most of them had significant others who would likely be arriving at any given time. Besides, I needed time alone to think...to think of a way to hold on to Bella.
I drove down the deserted highway towards my destination, going over my conversation with Heidi in my head and thinking of what to do about Bella. Fessing up to the inconvenient truth wasn't truly something that I was willing to do. Not now, at least, and probably not ever.
This chapter is dedicated to my "dahlink", Ninapolitan, who pwns me with her smutty hilarity and support of this silly little fic of mine (zank you, dahlink!) Plus, she LURVES all things Carlisle (aka Hot Bitch), so I just had to do her right by letting him DO her in my story. Duh.