Well, this went differently to how I expected :O Also, it seems finished, but I still have ideas so review on what you think? (:
Cutter waited anxiously as inside the room, what felt like his life was decided. After he'd left last night to get some coffee Stephen had talked to the doctor- and what he said had broken Nick's heart. The doctor had been tactful but the message that Stephen had given was clear- he didn't want Nick around.
"He hates himself," the doctor said. Nick looked at him and rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"Great. Wonderful. I'm not stupid, doctor, it's not himself he hates. It's me…" He had started cursing himself again, wondering how he could get Stephen to believe him that going off with Helen had been a mistake.
The doctor had been kind but firm. It was the patient that had the final say whenever they could, and Stephen was deemed perfectly capable of making a rational decision. Nick had been banned from seeing him.
"Stephen…" Nick groaned, half audibly. He couldn't believe that his best friend, and more, could hate him so much. "I guess I know why." He whispered. "It's my fault."
The doctor opened the door, startling Nick. "Mr Hart… will see you now." The doctor said disdainfully. Cutter pursed his lips, realising just how much he'd liked the other doctor.
"Is my boyfriend okay?" Cutter asked lazily, watching the young man flinch angrily.
"If you'd come in, sir."
Trying not to show how nervous he was, Cutter entered the room.
Stephen looked at him and Cutter felt his heart skip a beat. Pale and ill, the other man looked so fragile that Nick wanted to kill the man who had done this. What really hurt was the fact that it was him.
"I'll leave you two alone," the doctor said when it became clear that they wanted privacy. As soon as he was gone, Nick sat down and smiled gently at Stephen.
"Hey," he said, the words trembling.
"Hey…" Stephen said. "I'm sorry about… that." He waved his hand vaguely; a gesture which Nick knew meant 'banning you from seeing me.'
"It's fine." Nick reassured him. "Stephen…"
"No, Nick. Me first." Stephen swallowed. "Please."
"Go ahead," Nick nodded. Closing his eyes, Stephen began.
"I was so angry at you… but it wasn't your fault. It was like a dream," he looked at Nick. "Being with you, it was surreal. And then she turned up. And she spoilt it; she always spoils it, Nick."
"I know," Nick agreed quietly.
"And I went. And… did you leave me because I was…wrong? Because you chose her over me, you told me you wouldn't, you even kissed me…" he had begun to cry. "This man came… and took me and he tied me up and he hurt me and I wanted it."
The room had grown cold. Nick looked at Stephen and saw his boyfriend sobbing unashamedly on the bed. "I wanted it so badly, Nick. I wanted the pain and the release because you'd left me and I didn't know why. I thought…"
"You thought it was you." Nick realised suddenly that he was holding Stephen, weak and fragile Stephen and that they were both crying.
"I missed you so much Stephen," Nick said softly. "We'll get you help, I promise. "It's not you Stephen, you're a perfectly good person, there's nothing wrong about you at all…"
Stephen tensed up, as if he'd been slapped. "What?" Nick asked, concerned.
"I want you to go now," Stephen whispered. "Please." Nick let him go silently and walked out of the room slowly, not looking back. He was trying so hard to help Stephen, he thought, and Stephen… well, he'd been through a lot. Too much for any man, so that he really did hate himself. Nick found himself crying again; he'd been doing it a lot recently, but this time it was for Stephen completely, with no regard for himself.
Inside the room, Stephen let Cutter's words wash over him.
"It's not you Stephen, you're a perfectly good person, there's nothing wrong about you at all…"
The belief that he was wrong had faded, leaving the memory of what had been done to him shining clearly in his mind. So much of him wanted to call Cutter back, and he would do in a minute, but first… he had to understand.
"They're disgusting people who deserve to be shot," the man said, emphasising each word with venom. Besides him, the little boy nodded seriously, but his older brother had flinched gently at each word.
"What if they love each other Daddy?"
"That's not love," the father had growled. "Don't be so stupid, Stephen. Now come on, and I don't want to catch you talking to that man again, do you hear me?"
"But he's nice-"
"He's an abomination!"
The older boy frowned and then smiled, in an effort to please his father. "I won't talk to him, he's wrong." He muttered.
The father smiled. "Good lad."
Stephen lay on his bed and surveyed his body. The doctors had said that physically, he'd recovered reasonably well from his ordeal. Mentally… he was in much better shape then before. Maybe that was Nick's presence in the long nights, maybe the sane part of his brain and won out, maybe he had realised that his father hadn't been right after all.
He loved Nick Cutter and Nick Cutter still…
Stephen called Nick back, and the doctor came with him.
"Mr Hart are you alright?" the doctor asked nervously.
Stephen ignored the question. "Nick…" he asked, "do you love me?"
Nick looked at him, relieved. "Of course I love you."
Stephen allowed the final jigsaw piece to slot into place. This is love. And love isn't wrong.
He looked at the doctor and smiled rustily. "I'm alright now," he said quietly. "I'm going to be okay."
Underneath the covers, his hand held Nick's like it would never let go. Which in a way, they both knew, it wouldn't.
... so, I don't know whether to continue or do a sequel or just leave it, what do you think? x