Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans but I do own Falcon, so leave me and my fantasies where I own all my favorite cartoons alone and let me be happy.
Cyborg sped toward the last impound lot in Jump City, looking something akin to a scud missile, and glided to a stop. His arm quickly morphed into his famous Sonic Cannon, pointing it at the main door, the energy glowing blue and ready to discharge.
"Cyborg, wait!" a voice shouted from a distance.
Cyborg turned around to see Falcon speeding toward him, the smaller hero's face beet-red. Falcon stumbled as he came to a stop in front of his friend.
"Cyborg," he said, trying to catch his breath. "Hold on."
Falcon fell to the ground and proceeded to upchuck all over the street. He pulled himself back to his feet, wiping his mouth.
"I'm gonna need to brush tonight," he muttered to himself before turning his attention back to Cyborg. "Don't blast down the door, I have a better idea."
Cyborg looked down at his cannon then at Falcon, who was cringing at the sight of his own vomit, then back at his cannon. Falcon, on the other hand, was sweating bullets. Whether it was from the running and vomiting or the fact that he was trying to reason with an angry half-machine armed with a sonic cannon would be subject to debate.
He breathed a sigh of relief when Cyborg deactivated his cannon and looked down at him.
"What's the plan?" he asked, his face still fuming.
"The plan is to go home and wait for the morning," a new, and familiar, voice stated. "That's just the logical part of me talking."
Falcon and Cyborg turned to see Raven hovering over their heads.
"The hell we will," Cyborg bellowed. "And that's the irrational part of me talking cause Cyborg don't cuss."
"This is why we should turn around," Raven stated. "If we go in there without a plan, someone could get hurt. I know you love your car, Cyborg, but it is really worth someone getting hurt?"
"Raven, that's a dumb question," Falcon interjected. "Of course he thinks that."
Both of them looked at the green and gold Titan, neither one knowing what to say to the rather blunt statement that had just been made.
"But we won't have to worry about that," he said, "because I have a plan."
"And what's that plan?" Raven asked.
"Okay, one of you toss me over the wall," Falcon said, only to regret those words in half a second as Cyborg grabbed him and tossed him over the wall.
Falcon screamed as he flew over the wall and landed, headfirst, onto the ground.
"Ouch," he groaned, the rest of his body falling to the ground with his head and neck.
Falcon rolled onto his back and kipped up, darting toward the door. He was just about to reach the door, he heard something growling. Growling was, actually, a better way of putting it. It was more like someone had swallowed three lions and their collective roars were the growl. The second apprentice of the Dark Knight turned around to see a gigantic mastiff standing in front of him.
"Damn," he said, his voice cracking as he did. "Who put steroids in the Kibbles N'Bits?"
Outside of the lot, Cyborg was pacing at a frenetic pace.
"All right," he said. "He's been in there too long, that door should've been open by now."
Raven cocked an eyebrow at him. "How do you know that was his plan?"
"Well, Raven, it makes sense. If he's going over the wall, he's was obviously planning to open the door."
"It makes sense, but I think this is just a cheap way for the writer to cover-up a plot hole."
"It may very well be, but regardless, if he doesn't open that door in five minutes, I'm blasting it down and getting my car, my way."
They were soon cut off by the sounds of Falcon screaming, which could be heard all the way over to Steel City.
Inside the neutral space, Soulless Warlock was covering his ears in agony. When it stopped, he turned to his readers,
"And trust me," He said, "Speedy was pissed that he was woken up. He was having that dream he was with Shania Twain in a hot tub and…"
He paused, smiling devilishly at his own fantasy.
"Anyways, he was pissed but that's another not-story for another not-time." He said.
Cyborg and Raven's eyes bugged out at the sound of their friend screaming. Cyborg primed his Sonic Cannon, pointing it square at the door.
"Wait!" Raven said, glowing that familiar black glow of hers.
She opened the door, disconnecting the computerized lock. The two Titans darted into the impound lot, looking around for their friend. They soon found Falcon being chased by the guard dog.
"Did someone put steroids in the Kibbles N'Bits?" Raven asked, her mouth agape at the size of the mastiff.
"I'll keep him busy," Falcon shouted, racing past them. "Find the car!" he said, racing past them again.
He ran across the yard, diving onto a pile of cars and vanishing from sight as he jumped off of the top car. The mastiff wasn't too far behind, leaving Raven and Cyborg alone once again.
"You heard the man," Raven said. "Let's find that car."
"What about that whole "someone could get hurt" speech you fed me out there?" Cyborg asked, folding his arms triumphantly.
"Falcon's a big boy and that was a big dog," Raven said.
"Were you scared of that dog?"
"No!" Raven shrieked.
"Raven, do you remember what the last time you said you weren't afraid of something?" Cyborg asked, grinning.
"Yes, I'm mortified of that dog," she admitted. "Let's just find your damn car, grab Falcon, and get the hell out of here."
She floated into the air, going in the opposite direction that Falcon and the guard dog had gone.
"And I know that's the fear talking cause Raven don't cuss," Cyborg said to himself, following after his friend.
Falcon zigged and zagged through the impound yard, dodging errant doors and trunks as he tried to escape the giant mastiff that was chasing after him, which didn't seem to have a problem with going through said errant doors and trunks. He came to a stop when he ran into a parked vehicle.
Falcon shook his head to regain his composure before he realized that he had collided with a school bus. The twin of Robin grinned as he heard the dog's massive paws slamming into the ground. He darted around the back end of the bus, spotting the dog out of the corner of his eye. The mastiff stopped, seemingly sizing Falcon up, unsure of what the oddly-attired teen was planning.
"Here, puppy, puppy, puppy!" Falcon said, a smile creeping up on his face.
Meanwhile, Cyborg and Raven were walking through the lot, the tracker Cyborg had placed in the T-Car shortly after her reconstruction, had still not gone off. Cyborg was worried; she always picked up when he called.
"It's getting a little weird, isn't it?" Soulless Warlock asked, "But, it could probably be worse. He could do something really crazy…"
The author was cut off when Cyborg's eyes widened with a plan.
"Raven," he said, nearly scarring Raven out of her leotard. "Can you get a lock on her?"
Raven took a moment to process what Cyborg had asked before she finally answered, "Cyborg, I love the T-Car as much as you do, you know that, right?"
Cyborg simply nodded.
"But," she continued. "As much as we love the car, we have to accept that it is still that: A car. Therefore, I cannot find through telepathy or empathy."
Cyborg didn't say a word; he simply turned away from Raven and dashed through the lot, after catching something out of the corner of his eyes.
"Baby!" he shouted, leaving Raven to groan before she began to chase after him
While all this was going on, Falcon had managed to trick the dog into jumping at him. This gave him the opportunity to lock the mastiff into the bus. Falcon chuckled as he climbed up the side of a car wall, stopping at the top, hoping to get a visual on his friends. He hopped off of the wall, landing safely on the ground. Falcon paused for a minute, hearing the sound of growls behind. His breath began to slow and become more labored, turning slowly, only to realize too late that he wouldn't like what he was about to see.
Falcon was confronted by two mastiffs, roughly the same size as the last one. Falcon began to cry as he ran off again.
Meanwhile, Cyborg had made it in the end of the impound lot, Raven not far behind.
"She's not here, Rae," he cried, falling to his knees. "My baby isn't here! And she's probably cold and missing her daddy."
Raven patted her friend awkwardly on his metallic shoulders, not knowing what to say. She didn't get a chance to say anything, however, as Falcon collided with the duo, knocking them all to the ground. The mastiffs were soon on top of them and…
"Well, to be honest, I think leaving all the painful and slapstick aspects of what happens next to the readers is a lot more than writing it," Soulless Warlock stated, before pausing and look back at his readers. "Okay, I'm too lazy, I've been working on this damn thing for over two years and I want it to be done so I can move on with my life!"
The writer caught his breath and removed his Time Turner from his pocket. "Anyways, let's fast forward to what I didn't show before the trio entered the Tower over four hours later."
He twisted the device at a different angle, allowing time to move forward.
Raven, Falcon, and Cyborg hobbled toward the bay that lead into Titans Tower, their costumes destroyed and their bodies covered in cuts, scraps, and bruises.
"Cyborg," Raven began, the hood on her cloak ripped up to the point that she could not shield her battered face in it, "this has got to be the worst night of my life. And that includes the night my father used me as a portal to destroy the world."
"Damn," Falcon said. "That's cold."
"Leave me alone," Cyborg fired back. "I have to find out where my car is."
"And you have to pay me 20 bucks," Falcon added.
For the first time in 3 hours, Cyborg turned and looked at Falcon. "What?"
"Star and Rob are a couple now," Falcon said. "They kissed at midnight. So, I won the bet."
Of course, we all know how this is going to end but these guys don't as they argued about their wager all the back to the Tower, leaving Raven to wonder why the hell she didn't just let those giant dogs eat them.
A/N: Oh my God, I finally finished this godforsaken story. I know the last chapter sucks, but I think it helps fill the readers in on where the others disappeared when Cyborg realized his car was gone. Anyways, I'm finally free of this story and I can continue on with my other works.