Title: Twisted Thoughts

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan/Turch

Disclaimers: Supernatural and all related characters do not belong to me.


Dean currently did not feel bad about knocking Sam out even though he knew it wasn't his little brother's fault. However those words hit him harder and more painful than that shotful of rock salt.

Did Sam really feel that way about him? Maybe he was pathetic, running around, following Daddy's orders like a good boy. Did Dean really have a thought for himself?

No time to think about that, gotta find Ellicott and torch his ass. After a few minutes of searching, Dean hit the jackpot. Ignoring the overwhelming smell of dessicated flesh and bone, Dean began to liberally pour salt and lighter fluid all over the body.

Dean was so engrossed in what he was doing that he failed to notice his flashlight flickering and suddenly something slammed into his back and he fell to the ground. He groaned knowing he was definitely going to be bruised to high heaven in the morning.

"Don't be afraid," Ellicott said calmly. Dean didn't think spirits could have such rancid breath, but he did. "I'm going to help you. I'll make you feel all better."

Dean was not going to let what happened to Sam happen to him or they would kill each other. Dean flicked the switch on the lighter, hoping that his aim would be true.

A screech from Ellicott and the light show in front of him proved to him the spirit was gone and that his hold on Sam was severed. Wincing as he sat up, he heard, rather than saw Sam moving.

"You're not going to try and kill me, are you?" Dean asked.

"No."

"Good. Cause that would be awkward," Dean replied as he slowly stood up.

Sam noticed that the minute after Dean straightened from gatheringup, he cursed and squeezed his his shut. "Dude, I am so sorry!" he said, rushing to his brother's side.

"Give me a minute, Sammy." Once the pain and dizziness somewhat subsided, Dean looked at his brother. "Shut up about it too, it wasn't your fault. Come on lets get those kids out of here."

Sam saw that Dean was effectively ending the conversation so instead he followed quietly knowing that it was far from over. He still couldn't believe he said those things to his brother.

The one person who always watched out for him. Who was always there for him. Deep down Sam must have really thought those things or he wouldn't have been so easily influenced by Ellicott.

Once the teenagers were gone Sam again tried to talk to his brother, but Dean wasn't in the mood for caring and sharing. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sam took a deep as he watched him get into the Impala.

Dean was moving slowly, no doubt in pain from the damn rock salt to the chest. Oh Sam was really going to have a hard time getting over the fact that he nearly killed his brother.

Dean sank tiredly into the drivers seat, patting the steering wheel of the Impala. It certainly felt good being in his car again after everything that happened in that damn asylum.

He glanced over at Sam who was now seated next to him. His little brother seemed engrossed in his thoughts and probably guilting his way through what happened. Dean should probably say something, but he wasn't in the mood.

Right now he just wanted to sleep. True it was Ellicot who had control of Sam, but it was Sam's subconscious that Ellicot was messing with. There had to be some element of truth in it, right?

With a sigh, he started the car and drove away. He was silently cursing his Father for sending those damn coordinates and himself for going on along with him. And with a pang to his chest Dean realized Sam had been right.

How pathetic was he?

************

Sam listened to Dean's hiss of pain through the bathroom door. He had asked him if he wanted any help but the look the older Winchester gave him had Sam taking a step back.

He glanced at his cell phone. Should he really risk it? What if he called their Dad, told him what happened, and he got pissed? Well, Sam could get pissed right back. It was the almighty John Winchester who sent them out there to begin with.

Sam took a deep breath and dialed before he could change his mind. If had to leave a message, he was going to leave an angry one. And he decided that he'd better do it outside so Dean wouldn't hear him.

Dean finished tending to his wounds as the motel room door shut. Looking around he didn't see a note from Sam so he went to see what he was doing. Sam's burst of anger into the phone shocked Dean.

"You had to send us there, didn't you, Dad? Couldn't even give us any more information than coordinates. We went it way over heads and you obviously knew something we didn't. What the hell is wrong with you? Where the hell are you when we need you!"

Sam suddenly sighed. It was the saddest thing Dean had ever heard. "I...It nearly killed Dean, Dad."

Dean pulled the door shut as his little brother ended the call. He hated the caring and sharing thing but realized Sam needed that. He needed to know everything was all right.

As the doorknob jiggled, Dean went to his bed to lie down. It took a bit of effort but he was there just as Sam opened the door. And of course he looked concerned. Whatever anger had been there had dissipated.

"You okay?" Sam asked. He could practically see the beads of sweat on Dean's forehead. "I mean it probably took a lot out of you to run to the bed as I was coming in."

"I was just... what?"

"Dean, I know you heard my one-sided conversation with Dad. He did train us to be aware of our surroundings."

Dean smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, well... Sammy, you know I forgive you, right? And it's okay to have those feelings. You don't need to apologize for them."

"But Dean."

"No, Sammy. It's all right, really. Ellicott took every feeling you had and twisted in such a way to make you believe it. To make both of us believe it. But I know you. Better then I know anyone."

Sam stared at his brother. "I want to believe, Dean, I do but... I still have to get through it. I promise I'll get there, though."

"I have no doubt of that, Sammy." Dean noticed the look in his brother's eyes. "Oh no way are we hugging, Dude! Just get me same pain killers and let me sleep!"

Sam chuckled as he granted Dean's request. After all, that's what family was for, right?