Title: Realizations

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan/Turch

Spoilers: 1X01, 4X03

Timeline: It's kind of jumbled so I don't really know.

Disclaimers: Unfortunately none of them belong to me, I'm just playing in the sandbox.


November 3, 1983 was a typical Thursday for our family. John would head off to work, Dean would watch cartoons and help me take care of Sammy while I cleaned the house.

There was something at the back of my mind, though. Especially when I looked at Dean. His beautiful hazel orbs just stared at me with so much love and I knew I had seen them before...

Well, it's going to sound crazy, but I swear I've seen his eyes years before he was even born. I can't think of why, though. My Mom had the same color eyes, maybe that was it. I just couldn't pin it down.

After I had settled Sammy in his crib, John and I took Dean to his room. He looked around uncertainly. "Are you sure there's no monsters in my closet?" he asked in his innocent way.

Of course I wanted to believe there weren't, but I knew better and I didn't want to lie to my little angel. I was greatful that John answered before I could, though. John was so wonderful with his boys. I am so relieved they wouldn't have to live how I did when I was growing up.

"Don't worry about a thing, Sport!" John said, ruffling Dean's hair. "There's no such things as monsters anyway."

I smiled as Dean looked up at me for reassurance. Instead of nodding in agreement, I leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. "Don't worry about a thing,"I told him. "Angels are watching over you."

He smiled back. "Really?"

"Really. Now it's time for bed, sweetheart."

"I love you, Mommy! You too Daddy!"

"We love you, baby," I replied as Dean snuggled under the covers.

John kissed me softly on the lips once we were out in the hall. "I'm going to watch a little tv before I come to bed."

I nodded. "Love you."

"Love you more," he said.

Early in the morning I awoke to Sammy crying. John wasn't in bed yet so I went to check on the baby. John was in there and Sammy seemed to have calmed down so I turned to head back to sleep.

That's when the lights began to flicker. I tried not to think anything of it. It's been years since any lights flickered around me. I heard someone talking softly downstairs and quietly crept down there... It was the tv and John was sleeping in the recliner.

Oh God!


The moment I stepped into his bedroom I wanted to scream, cry, attack. Everything. And when he turned, I knew who he was. "It's you!" I gasped out.

He grinned evilly and slammed me against the wall effectively pinning me there and soon I was sliding up towards the ceiling. I cried out as something slashed my belly. "Sammy!"


John was coming, but I couldn't warn him. I couldn't say anything. My words screamed in my mind, but no sound came out: No! John! Don't come! You don't know how to fight demons! Please, John, don't!

He came in looking frazzled, but the demon was gone. John seemed to relax and went over to check on Sammy. He must've thought he had been dreaming.

And seeing the look in John's face when he finally saw me I wish I had been dreaming as well, but again I couldn't say a word to him. I could feel my mouth open in horror as flames formed all around me.

The heat was unbearable and my heart cried as I heard John calling out my name. I wanted to tell him to forget about me and just save our babies. I don't know if I did, but soon he was reaching for Sammy.

And suddenly I remembered the hunter. I remembered the eyes. I remembered the tenderness that he spoke to me with. I remembered how scared he was. Scared for me. Scared for himself.

Those beautiful hazel orbs that belong to my Dean. My sweet, sweet Dean. I am so sorry I didn't listen, baby. I should have listened. I should have realized. As I slowly lose conscious, I feel a tear escape and my final prayer was that my boys would stand by each other forever.


When Mary told me that guy Dean from years ago warned her about not getting out of bed, I knew I should have taken her seriously. I mean I had just been raised from the dead for crying out loud!

But I didn't and we were so determined to get out of that town and head to Lawrence where my family was, it drifted further and further from our minds. The reality of it didn't hit me until I found my sweet Mary pinned to ceiling of Sam's bedroom, fire surrounding her.

There was nothing I could do but save our boys. She would live on through them. While Dean had her looks, Sammy had her spirit and there was certainly no doubt about it.

For Dean's 18th birthday I gave him the Impala and my brown leather coat. When he turned to show off how he looked in it, my heart skipped a beat. It was the Dean from all those years ago. I don't have any idea how that was even possible but I believed in the supernatural and I believed in my son so that was good enough for me.

And if finally dawned on me. What Mary told me he said to her the night her Father died. Dean told her not to get out of bed, but she did. She did because she heard her baby crying and it was a motherly instinct.

Yellow-eyes must have counted on that. Oh Dean, I am so sorry, Son. If we had only listened.