The Bad Guy
"That's just not right, 'Billy'," Captain Hammer sneers. "You think I'm the bad guy?" He tilts his head downwards to look at his clothes. As always, he is wearing black gloves, dark pants and a tight grey shirt with a bright yellow circle sporting a hammer imprinted on the front. It accentuates his muscles in a way that would make any evildoer in their right mind quiver with fear.
Of course evildoers in their right mind are scarce. Billy isn't sure even he passes when it comes to being in his right mind and he hasn't reached a level yet to get him into the Evil League of Evil. One day. One day soon. He will become Dr Horrible in every way he can and that will all change. People will fear him. The world will fear him and kneel at his feet for mercy.
"I have the shiny costume to go against that," Hammer goes on, looking back up to pierce Billy with his best but clearly faux good doer smile. "See? Rather cunning, don't you think? The hammer beats all. Got that? All."
"But," Billy starts. Cheesy on the outside, he wants to say. That's all you are.
He falters. His bottom lip shakes and his eyes dart around at the empty laundromat. He swallows hard and forces himself to face his arch nemesis. "Penny will be here soon," he says lamely.
Hammer bursts into laughter. "Penny? Yes, I imagine she will be. And when she arrives, she'll be extremely happy to see me."
There's nothing Billy can say about that and so he stares mutely at the drier his clothes are in. Through the front he can see blurs of colour as his washing tumbles around. He visualises Hammer in the drier alongside his clothes, eyes wide with fear and pain as he bumps around as if in a ferocious hurricane.
"Something funny about that?"
Billy is rudely jolted back to reality and realises he's smiling. His lips straighten and he shakes his head.
"Didn't think so," Hammer replies airily. He glances up as the bell above the door rings and the door swings open. "Ah, Penny." He moves closer to Billy and under his breath so Penny can't hear him, he mutters, "Time to go see the girlfriend. My girlfriend, I mean. Not yours. Your pathetic, little crush." He pulls back, a strange expression on his face. "Anyway."
Billy watches him go and tries not to let it show how much it gets to him when Hammer pulls Penny to him once she's set her laundry down and in an overly dramatic moment, flips her and kisses her.
When they finally part, Penny notices him and smiles brightly at him, oblivious to his pain and his discomfort. She gives him a little wave to which he nods and smiles softly back. It's a forced smile but she doesn't have to know that.
"Billy," she says. "Hi. I didn't see you there."
"Ha, no. I saw that." He glares at Hammer.
"How are you today?" Penny adds.
"Oh I'm just brilliant," he tells her. She doesn't seem to pick up on the sarcasm in his voice as Hammer drapes an arm around her possessively. "Never been better."
"He was just leaving," Hammer butts in. "Weren't you, Billy?"
"No, I – "
He glances again at the drier holding his clothes. He will be leaving. And Captain Hammer will be staying alongside Penny and probably taking her home afterwards to show her the 'Hammer cycle' as he liked to call it. Great. Just great.
"Let's help him get his clothes together," Hammer says and before Billy can protest that they're not done yet, he's stopped the drier and removed all his things. He heaps them into Billy's arms with a smug smile and ushers him towards the door.
Penny says nothing but looks on in admiration. Trust her to think Hammer was doing him a favour.
Clothes damp in his arms and protests caught in his throat, Billy takes last look back at Penny, a last glare at Hammer and then trudges home.
Yep. Captain Hammer is most definitely the bad guy.
That is so going in his blog!