Chapter 13-Picture Perfect...Almost
Konoha was a buzz with news of another Jinchuriki in Konoha. Not surprising since the Councils had made it slip in order to make this one's life just as miserable as Naruto's had been growing up. However, unlike Naruto's life growing up, Fu had friends and allies that were not in the extreme minority, and could only do so much. Since Tsunade took office as Hokage, she had been fixing what the Sandaime had been unable to do after he first came out of retirement following the Yondaime Hokage's death, and make it known that harassing the village Jinchuriki was NOT tolerated.
It had pissed off a great deal of Konoha's populace something fierce, but Tsunade had told them that considering Jinchuriki could alter the landscape of the fighting during a battle. She went even further to explain to the more vocal individuals that when it came to protecting the village, it was best not to make either one ignore their plight should they be in trouble, and need to be saved from certain death.
Who would want to save such people? No one that who!
In any case, Naruto welcomed Fu into his home, and made sure she knew who to trust in Konoha from those that aren't. The female Jinchuriki formerly of Taki instantly took a liking to the girls in Naruto's home since each of them were strong and didn't take crap from those around them. As for the various males around her, Naruto was like a brother to her, even more so when you consider he was a Jinchuriki just like her, and was very protective in a big brotherly way.
Kiba was one of the people Fu was warned about given his nature of wanting to hump any female he thought would spread their legs for him. The Inuzuka had tried to flirt with Fu soon after meeting her, but the girl instantly shut him down, and threatened to go Biju on him if he didn't keep his hands to himself or his thing in his pants when around her.
Shikamaru was an okay kind of guy. Not a foe in the shadows, but definitely a lazy kind of man, and yet was a good friend despite his sloth like nature. She had heard about the men of the Nara Clan being genius level in terms of brains, but were constantly afraid of women, and their ability to manifest frying pans to be used as weapons. How they did that, Fu didn't know, but felt it could be an interesting Jutsu (if it was one) to learn, and use in a pinch one day.
Choji was a nice boy, someone who was caring, and clearly loved all things BBQ related no matter how spicy. The boy also didn't like being called "fat" or anything that put a bad spin on his size, which Fu could understand since it was like being discriminated just for being a Jinchuriki. In fact, Fu had a friendly eating contest with the boy, and while she did not win the battle...she did make the Akimichi work for it.
The boy one who really got her attention though was Shino from the Aburame Clan, as he liked all things insects, and had been caught blushing behind his hooded form despite many not seeing it. Fu didn't know why he was blushing at first, being how her former village made sure she knew nothing except hatred, or what it meant to be in a relationship with a boy around her age. It took awhile, but Fu got the message when Naruto teased her about how she made Shino show emotions beyond the usual buzzing of his insects.
At first, Fu was scared of seeing Shino, or any boy for that matter in such a light given it put her heart in a very vulnerable position. But Chomei had assured her that the Aburame would not hurt Fu and to give the boy a chance in terms of a relationship. As for Shino himself when Fu confronted him about his feelings for her, the poor boy acted in a very unusual manner in not only blushing, but getting on his knees, and bowed while saying he was not worthy of her. If it wasn't so romantic (in its own unusual way), Fu would have found it hysterical, and stopped Shino from making a spectacle of himself.
But since this was an Aburame after all, Fu felt she should milk the moment for all it was worth, and just let Shino do his thing. It could been worse when she thought about it later on. He could have done a humanized version of an insect mating dance, which while it would have interesting, it would have also been embarrassing for the both of them, and it very awkward for the two. So after Shino finished his rambling about being unworthy of such an honor of dating the "Insect Queen which all Aburame worshiped", Fu decided to help him up, tell Shino he was worthy, and gave him a big fat kiss on the lips.
Naruto just so happened to be there when the whole thing went down and had a camera to get several pictures following Shino's unique emotional...episode with Fu.
So with that being said, Naruto gave Shino his blessing to date his surrogate sister, and gave the Aburame boy a warning that if he broke Fu's heart...the blonde would break him before feeding the remains (if any) to hungry flesh eating insects. A form of poetic and ironic justice, but Naruto felt such a thing warranted it if such an event came to pass, and needed Shino to realize what happens when a venomous spider like himself is crossed.
Since then, Fu had been seeing Shino more with the two becoming extraordinarily close, and Naruto knew it was only a matter of time before she moved into the Aburame Clan home. Something the Aburame Clan would no doubt be thrilled about this happening with the seven-tailed Jinchuriki, who had the Biju which was secretly the source of their insect based bloodline many years ago, and considered the supreme Master of all things insects living in their home.
Of course there was still the issue of Tsunade being around Fu after what happened to the girl's Father, as the Hokage felt a bit nervous at telling the young Jinchuriki that she was the very reason the man was dead. Naruto had been told about the situation soon after his original meeting with Tsunade when he came back from Taki and the blonde knew from his own feelings as a Jinchuriki that he would definitely feel a sense of anger if such a thing happened to him.
Which was why he encouraged Tsunade to tell Fu sooner rather then later. If anyone else learned of Tsunade's past history with Fu's Father, like say...Danzo, he would use it to turn Fu against Tsunade. It would bring about a sense of distrust and hatred toward the female Hokage and that was something neither person wanted.
When Fu had finally been told the truth behind her Father's death, it was clear the girl was downright pissed, and would have probably gone Biju on the woman if not for Naruto's hand on her shoulder. Naruto had explained how Tsunade felt bad about what happened and things had been...well...they got out of hand at the time. He also told Fu that Tsunade wanted to make it up to her for such stupid drunken actions and give the Hokage a chance.
I'm doing this because I trust Naruto and he trusts you. Don't think I'll be your best buddy or even respect you anytime soon.
It had been directed at Tsunade with anger, which resulted in the woman flinching like she had been slapped, but at the time those words were spoken, Fu didn't really care, and walked out of the Hokage's Office when it happened while trying to keep the impulse to rip the woman's throat out.
Fortunately, over the time span of a few months that followed the incident, Fu had let the anger she felt for the Hokage go, and focus on other matters.
Namely dealing with the Councils, all of their bigotry, al of their bullshit, and of course the very much civilianized Uchiha Sasuke currently trying to seduce (if you could call it that) her into dating him, and gaining some measure of power back. He figured with Fu being under his control, the Hokage would see the greatness of the Uchiha Clan, and have Jiraiya undo the sealing on his body that kept his Sharingan suppressed. Sasuke was still a Shinobi, if just barely due to his probationary period he was under, but could only do missions in the village, and in his mind he might as well be a civilian since being able to use his Sharingan Eyes meant everything to him.
"Will you leave me alone Sasuke. I don't care about you and never will so stop trying to convince me that us being in a relationship is for the best," said Fu angrily while Sasuke tried to act humble, contrite, and honest when around her while Chomei told the girl what she already knew.
The Uchiha wanted her for personal gain.
"Why? I'm an Uchiha. Descended from a great clan. Surely you want to be part of it? To have children you can say are proudly descended of the Uchiha Clan? Descended from Uchiha Madara?" asked Sasuke while Fu snorted at his attempts at using his clan to get her to see things his way.
"First off, I don't give a crap about the Uchiha Clan. Second, while Uchiha Madara was a strong Shinobi of his time, he was also a psychopath, and tried to use a Biju as a weapon. He saw them as slaves to be used for his desires and were considered weapons of war," replied Fu while seeing a small scowl form on Sasuke's face for a brief second.
It hadn't been easy to get out of his hospitalized situation, even after his bloodline had been sealed off by the bitch of a Hokage, and tried to pass himself off as a now humble Uchiha who had learned the error of his ways. Of course Sasuke was lying through his teeth, but he figured the people around him were either idiots, or cared about him so they would believe the lies he said no matter what.
Sadly, the only one believing his lies was Sakura, who kept trying to petition his release since he was locked away. Fortunately, it seemed he had friends in key places, as his first Yamanaka, who also happened to Yamanaka Inoichi, gave him a evaluation that had been strict with his reports on Sasuke's mental patterns being too unstable. However, the man soon had to go on a long term mission, and Sasuke got a new evaluator who was much more lenient in his assessment of the Uchiha. With Danzo and the Councils pressuring Tsunade based on these new recommendations, she had little choice but to let him free, but the bitch had yet to order Jiraiya to unseal his bloodline.
But he would wait. Sasuke could wait...for now.
"Despite these things, couldn't you at least consider it. By clan is far superior to that of the Aburame Clan and I am far superior to that weakling Shino," remarked Sasuke with Fu glaring at him.
"You call yourself superior while your past actions say otherwise. You left to hunt down Orochimaru so he could give you power. You had to be brought back and had your very bloodline sealed off. As far as I'm concerned, you are not part of the Uchiha Clan, and even if you still were...its not much of a clan anymore," said Fu before she took off and left a fuming Uchiha Sasuke in the process.
'Bitch. Sooner or later, you will be mine, and your power will be my key to getting my revenge,' thought Sasuke while plotting his revenge.
(A Few Days Later-With Naruto)
On this particular day, we find our friend Naruto web slinging through the village, happy as can be, and for good reason too. Deciding to make some extra cash when not taking any missions and keeping his skills sharp in terms of spying, our blonde hero decided to get a job as a freelancing photographer for the Daily Leaf. The job was simple. Get some exclusive pictures to sell to the paper and get paid in cash for their value. With the village constantly being a buzz of activity everyday with something new, Naruto had known that there was bound to be something he could get a few pictures to sell, and make some nice spending money for himself.
Plus it was nice to have an emergency fund for the various special occasions he had with his wives and servants.
Today's pictures he got? Well he sent them to the newspaper earlier today and was now waiting for the paperboy selling them on the street to announce the leading story.
"Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Inuzuka Kiba from the Inuzuka Clan caught stealing and wearing women's undergarments. Pictures show proof of thief taking and trying on lady's unmentionables! Read all about it!" shouted the paper boy holding the paper and waving it around for anyone passing to possibly buy.
Sure enough, the people came running to read on the latest gossip, and speculation the paper launched with the pictures to back it up. The women gasped, fearing their own unmentionables might be next, the men gagged at the pictures with disgust, and were wondering why someone like Kiba was a Shinobi of Konoha.
Naruto smirked underneath his humanized Venom form while trying to keep the evil laughter from escaping his lips. Kiba had indeed done what some of the pictures Naruto had take clearly suggested, but it wasn't a cross-dressing thing like some would no doubt assume with the various pictures taken. What really happened was Kiba had decided to go skinny dipping in a lake instead of doing guard duty, which he had Akamaru do using his henge while thinking no one would be able to tell so long as no one talked to the dog henged as Kiba. Naruto knew Kiba was suppose to be on guard duty that day and sensed the Kiba assigned to the task was not the actual Kiba himself. When Naruto dispersed the henge, he brought the dog to Tsunade, and had Tsume do a translation of where Kiba was at the moment.
Naturally, it pissed both women off to know end that Kiba was neglecting his duties, and thinking he could get away with it. So they turned to Naruto to fix this little problem in his own unique Uzumaki style manner and make Kiba regret ever shirking his assigned duties.
No matter how boring and degrading it may be to him.
So Naruto came up with an ingenious, if somewhat evil plan, which he told both women since they would need to know just how far this punishment for Kiba was going to go, and also because Tsume was the moron's Mother. The last thing Naruto wanted was to do something that Tsume would not approve of and cause further problems now that the past between their clans was officially behind them.
The plan itself? Go to Kiba's little lake area, steal his clothing, but leave a trail for him to follow, and get everything taken except his underwear. That item Naruto had wrapped in a giant ball of webbing before having a Shadow Clone take it away to be destroyed in a separate location. Now normally, a person in Kiba's situation would think "I can just go commando." and ignore the loss of underwear, but the problem with that had been the noticeable hole Naruto had "accidently" made along ass area, and would be unable to hide it when making the trip back to his home for a fresh pair. He would need something of a similar color to his pants to mask the sizable hole in his pants and not explain to his Mother where he got said hole.
Not to mention Hana would never let him live it down if she found out.
By the time Kiba was able to find something he could use to wear, it was a pair of panties on a clothesline of home when he made it in Konoha, but his home was all the way on the other side of the village, and to make matters worse for Kiba (though he didn't know it at the time) the panties he stole? They belong to one Nara Yoshino!
"And now we play the waiting game," said Naruto to himself, Venom, and Kurama with all three of them forming an evil smile within his mind.
Kurama and Venom actually did do the whole "evil laughter" thing in his head.
"HELP! HELP ME! SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY!" yelled Kiba, as he was running through Konoha, running for his life to be exact, and for good reason since the Inuzuka was being chased throughout the village.
The name of his pursuer? Nara Yoshino.
You guessed it. Shikamaru's Mother!
"GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT! YOU PANTY STEALING PANTY WEARING PERVERT!" yelled Yoshino, who had been chasing the Inuzuka with the biggest fucking frying pan anyone had ever seen.
Did I mention it had barbed wire around it with spikes around the outer circle. It looked like something a Medieval woman, possibly Yoshino's ancestor would have wielded, and used as a weapon against intruders.
And most likely her lazy sloth of a husband too.
"IT WASN'T ME! I WAS FRAMED!" yelled Kiba in protest while dodging a swing of Yoshino's weapon by the angry woman.
"I'LL SHOW YOU FRAMED WHEN I RIP YOUR DICK OFF AND MOUNT IT ON MY WALL!" yelled Yoshino while intending to carry out her threat no matter what.
"Should we feel bad for him?" asked Venom curiously while watching things from Naruto's point of view and Kurama seeing it on a screen the boy manifested in his mind.
'After all the crap he's pulled with the women in our lives, would you?' asked Naruto in his head with Venom and Kurama looking at each other for a second.
"No!" replied the two at the same time.
'And there is your answer,' thought Naruto while petting his camera in hand knowing it would have many more adventures throughout Konoha and possibly other villages too.
Many in Konoha and the world soon started to shiver in fear.
"Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Nara Shikamaru from the Nara Clan steals several of his Mother's favorite cookies from forbidden jar!" exclaimed the paper boy while waving the paper around and handed someone a paper after getting paid for it.
On the front page showed several pictures of Shikamaru sneaking into the clan kitchen, looking around while standing in front of the cookie glass based jar. A zoomed in picture showed said cookie glass based jar had a "Property of Nara Yoshino. Do not take or you will die!" on it. Another picture showed Shikamaru taking not one, not two, not three, not even four, but FIVE cookies, and putting one in his mouth with two in each hand before sneaking off again.
The pictures showed Shikamaru had quite literally been caught on camera with his hands in his Mother's cookie jar.
Needless to say, his Mother was plenty pissed, and was now hunting for her soon to be terrified son.
"This one we really should feel guilty about. Shikamaru isn't a bad guy," said Venom while Naruto watching Konoha from above on a power line.
'True, but think of it like a prank. We have to keep our skills sharp. Not to mention we get a lot of experience in the spying and infiltrating a Shinobi needs when on missions. We have a reputation to uphold. Besides, this gives Shikamaru his necessary physical exercise for the day, and most likely for the next...couple of decades,' thought Naruto with Venom and Kurama letting a sweat drop form.
"He's not that lazy," said Venom with Naruto giving the ink colored organism a look inside his own head.
'I once saw Shikamaru muttering troublesome in his sleep while at the Academy and I thought I saw a sleep bubble form over his head showing him sleeping in his dreams too,' thought Naruto with Venom and Kurama looking at each other.
"We retract our previous statement," said Venom while sensing what Naruto did and saw Shikamaru running for his life while his Mother was actively pursuing her son to give him his punishment for eating the cookies he knew were just for her.
"It's a good thing we make sure our identity has been kept out of the public eye regarding those pictures we send to the Daily Leaf. Though I'm surprised no one has put it together since it clearly says below the pictures that it was taken by The Kitsune Spider," said Naruto though it was more to himself then Venom or Kurama.
"That and the only other person within Konoha capable of figuring it out aside from your lovely vixens living at the Namikaze Estates is currently being chased by his Mother. By the time he figures it out...he should be out of his body cast by then," said Kurama with a chuckle while seeing Yoshino getting closer to her son and unleashing the ever infamous temper of a Mother scorned.
'And we are just getting started,' thought Naruto with the three of them letting out another evil laugh within his head.
Oh yes. His unique skills with in spying, infiltrating, and a camera would definitely earn him a certain level of infamy
Danzo scowled heavily at the report in front of him. He had hoped with his agent from the Yamanaka Clan would be able to not only get Sasuke out of his prison, but convince Tsunade that the Uchiha should have his bloodline unsealed. Sadly, his agent was only half successful, which would normally result in a silent death untraceable to him, but Danzo didn't expect the Hokage to do it, and his Yamanaka was still useful in being able to talk into the Uchiha's ear.
Since Danzo controlled the voice of the Yamanaka, it would be his words, his specific suggestions, and his influence that would be placed into the Uchiha's head. Meaning with the right manipulation, Sasuke would be his future weapon against the Kyuubi Jinchuriki once the boy's bloodline was unsealed, and made it fully develop. If worse came to worse after enough time went by with no change in unsealing Sasuke's Sharingan, Danzo was prepared to use other means of giving the boy his birthright.
Meaning he would have to dip into his Sharingan Eye reserves and perform surgery on Sasuke when the boy least suspected it. Since everyone in the Uchiha had the same dark eyes, Sasuke would never know about it, and Danzo could easily lie saying he unsealed the Sharingan when the boy asked about it when the time came. The old war hawk had no reason to believe the Sharingan Eyes from another Uchiha would be rejected once put in Sasuke since he came from the clan itself.
But again, it was a move to be used as a last resort.
"The Akatsuki are on the move it seems. They've taken the two Jinchuriki from Iwa and Kiri has a new Mizukage after their previous one died almost three years ago. The Biju will not materialize for a little while longer, which means a sealing team could possibly capture the creature to make another Jinchuriki shortly after it forms. Prepare one once we have its location," commanded Danzo to his nearby Root ANBU
"Yes Danzo-sama," said the Root ANBU before vanishing into the shadows.
'We have a total of three Jinchuriki in our possession, but Tsunade won't use them like they are meant to be used. Damn her. At least, my agent in the Aburame Clan can keep an eye on the seven-tails, and feed me information about her actions,' thought Danzo while looking over reports regarding Sound and how Kabuto was running it now that Orochimaru was gone.
The man was as slippery, if not more then his Master had been when alive, and would become a possible threat to Konoha in the future. Not surprising since he had been one of the old war hawk's best agents before that major event of that one specific mission to Suna prior to the boy joining Orochimaru. How his former subordinate that was the snake Sannin learned of Kabuto's mission in Suna and successfully poached him from his ranks, the war hawk would never know, and it irked the old man to no end.
While Danzo would never admit it to anyone, he did have a hand in Orochimaru's twisted dark way of seeing things in life. Did Danzo regret it? No. Why should he? It was all for the good of Konoha and didn't care about what his action did to others so long as they were useful to him. As far as he was concerned, every life with the exception of his own, existed to serve him, and would be thrown away when their value to his cause had run its course.
He planned to one day become a God of this world and a God had no need for any form of mortal attachments like those of the simpleminded pawns around him.
"How do you wish to proceed with the Akatsuki organization and their movements now aimed at the Jinchuriki Danzo-sama?" asked a Root ANBU curiously.
"Simple. We use this information to make the Hokage weaponize our Jinchuriki for war and use them like they were always meant to be used. Make sure this reaches Jiraiya and the Councils ears. I expect a meeting to happen soon to address this matter further and I will use it to MY advantage," commanded Danzo before handing the report to his drone of a subordinate and saw him leave to carry out the assignment.
Tsunade would use Konoha's three Jinchuriki like he wanted them to be used whether she personally wanted them to act like it or not.
(Omake-All Hail Fu The Insect Queen)
"Man I can't wait to visit Shino at his home. All he does is spend time with that Fu chick and nothing else," remarked Kiba while Kurenai glared and smacked the boy upside the head.
"He is your teammate Kiba. Respect him," scolded Kurenai while Kiba rubbed his head while frowning.
"She's right Kiba. Don't be so troublesome that my visit here is unpleasent," said Shikamaru with Kiba spitting his tongue out at him.
"You're here to find a place to hideout until your Mother stops trying to hunt you down," countered Kiba while Shikamaru let out a sigh.
"And you're not?" Shikamaru shot back while Kiba looked away.
"Those pictures were taken out of context," mumbled Kiba with Shikamaru scowling further.
"You're lucky I have to hide from my troublesome Mother or else I would strangle you with my shadows," grumbled Shikamaru while Kurenai sighed and wished these two would have been mauled by Yoshino.
The angry woman had been so close to achieving her objective too.
After they knocked and were let in by one of the Aburame of the Clan, the trio found themselves entering a hall with rows of the clan on each side with Fu at the end sitting on a throne wearing a crown. Beside her was Shino, who was also wearing a crown, and had his hand on top of Fu's own.
They looked like a royal couple.
"All hail Aburame Fu! Queen of the Insects and Aburame Clan!" exclaimed Shino with the rows of Aburame Clan members kneeling as one in front of them.
"One of us! One of us!" proclaimed the clan members at the same time.
"This is some weird shit," mumbled Kiba to the others, who were slowly nodding.
"One of us! Gooble gobble! One of us! Gooble gobble! One of us! Gooble gobble!" proclaimed the Aburame Clan members while moving their heads left and right in a swaying motion with their chanting growing louder.
"I'm going home now. This is just too troublesome to understand," muttered Shikamaru before leaving.
"I'm going home too. I'd rather get chewed out by my Mother then be here for this," said Kiba knowing he could at least be somewhere away from this.
"I'm going to go see Inoichi to get this image out of my head," remarked Kurenai before she vanished in a swirl of leaves.
"It appears Naruto's pranking has rubbed off on you Fu-chan," remarked Shino with a sense of amusement in his voice.
"It seems it has Shino-kun," added Fu since she had wanted to pull such a prank that no one would expect her or the Aburame Clan to perform.
Being the Queen of the Aburame Clan was totally awesome!
(A/N: YAY! I updated after...several years. Huh. Its been that long? Sorry if my writing of this chapter and updating moved at the speed of a glacier. I was really stalled on what I wanted until now. In a way I still am, but I think I can get around it. This also helped to show you guy my older fics are not abandoned. Do not think that. EVER! I've just been busy with a lot of things and its hard to balance writing when doing them too. Until next time...PEACE!)