Disclaimer: Own Toby.

A/N - Stupid picture! Should have come up! Oh well, if you're interested, tell me in the review and I'll send you the pic via e-mail. (Just don't forget to put your e-mail in!)

"I have a job!" Pietro grinned as he rushed into the lounge where Todd, Freddy and Toby were watching tv.

"Really?" Toby looked up, interested, "where?"

"Heaven," Pietro sighed.

"Huh?" Todd frowned, "is that some new club?"

"I think he means the ice-cream parlour," Freddy tried helpfully.

"No, I literally mean heaven," Pietro frowned.

"You can't get a job in heaven," Freddy objected, "you have to die first! And anyway, after what you did to my pet rock, you don't deserve to go to heaven."

"I can see you lot aren't quite as smart as I thought you were," Pietro sniffed, "I didn't mean the actual heaven. A meant a place that almost qualifies."

"And that is?" Toby asked.

Pietro grinned, "the lingerie section at the mall!"

"Oh god," Toby groaned, "no girl will be safe. Mothers, lock up your daughters!"

"I get to touch bras all day! I get to choose bras for chicks all day!" Pietro enthused, "this is going to be the best job of my life! I can die a happy man!"

"I'm leaving while I still can," Toby said, standing up, "anyone else want to join me?"

"Toby, you could be happy for me ya know. Just cause your gay don't mean you can't appreciate this great moment in my life!"

"Congrats Pietro. I hope I can get half price on wonder bras now."

"Out you sarcastic beast! Out!"

"Oh please Pietro!" Toby begged, making one hand go limp at the wrist and the other rest on his cheek, "just one free pair of panties!"

"Maybe you can give them to your boyfriend!" Pietro shouted back.

"I didn't think you were into that sort of stuff."

"I'm not your boyfriend!"

"Your not? Oops, my mistake, I guess I better correct that mistake. I may be on the phone a while."

"What did you do!?!" Pietro yelped, "who did you tell!?! My perfectly formed rep! Toby get your skinny ass back here!" Pietro went zipping out of the room.

"You think we even exist in Pietro's strange fantasy world?" Todd asked Freddy.

"As slaves maybe," Freddy shrugged, "when he's like this, he's just in his own little world all the time."

Monday, after school

Pietro leant against the rack of blue lace bras and waited for the overly large woman to finish trying on the pair of underwear she was convinced fitted her, but which was actually about 5 million sizes to small for her.

'What makes this even worse is the fact that she's pinched my ass about 5 times,' Pietro thought, scowling, 'why can't she just take a hint? 'I think that size might not fit you ma'am.' It's plain English isn't it? I would have understood.'

"What do you think dear?" The curtain flew open to reveal a sight Pietro definitely could have done without.

"Great," Pietro said, shielding his eyes, "buy them!"

'Just get out of the store!'

"Okay I will. You've been a great help, maybe I can give help you get a little extra pay."

'Go awaaaaaaaaaaayyy!' Pietro screamed at her mentally, 'just go awaaaaaaaay!'

Once the woman was changed he took the underwear and took the money, running it through the cash register as fast as possible without actually using his super-speed.

"Here you go," the woman grinned as he showed her out, (just to make sure she didn't come back!) and she slipped a wad of cash into his back pocket.

'Eewwwww!' Pietro mentally shuddered. As he watched the woman walk away he thought, 'I hate this job! Where are the chicks! Don't tell me only over-weight woman buy lingerie! '

With a sigh the speedster slipped his hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out the money the woman had given him.

"Holy shit! 300 bucks!"

'Okay, maybe not that bad after all.' He slipped the money back into his back pocket, 'being gorgeous does have it's perks.'

"Oh Pietrooooooo!"

"Oh no," Pietro groaned. Turning he spotted Mel, striding over.

"Whatcha doing Pimp daddy?"

"Working," Pietro said, "and since when did you talk like that?"

"Since the hot black guy standing over there looked at me," Mel grinned. She waved at the guy in question and he turned away, a shy smile on his face.

"Awww! He's so sweet," Mel said.

"I'll take your word for it, mah bitch," Pietro said.

"Shut up," Mel poked her tongue out. "Hey these are nice!" She reached for a pair of grey, boy-leg panties.

"Changing rooms are over there," Pietro pointed them out, "yell if you need help."

"Gotcha."

"Pietrooooooooo!"

"You called?" Pietro asked. Mel smiled gratefully at him, her head the only thing visible.

"I want your opinion. Now remember, these are for a date, that may go somewhere so keep that in mind."

"Right," Pietro grinned. Mel pushed the curtain aside. The grin on Pietro's face got wider. "God damn," Pietro grinned, "who can this lucky guy be?"

"His name's Tori."

"And why haven't I met the guy who has you dressing up like that?"

"Because your name is Pietro Maximoff, and your speciality is driving away a girl's potential date."

"I do not!" Pietro objected.

"Oh puh-lease! You drove away every single one of Mystique's boyfriends. Do you think I'm that dumb as to let you even get within 200 feet of one of mine?"

"I feel hurt," Pietro sniffed, "so deeply hurt."

Mel rolled her eyes, "not gonna work on me. So you think I should buy this?"

"Yes."

"Great." Mel shut the curtain and Pietro went back to work. And when the cute strawberry blonde asked him out, he decided that this was the perfect job after all.

- - - - - - - - - -

Heh heh, Pietro destorys a boyfriend's spirit. Watch out Mel, my evil author mind has something in sore for you!