Title: Insert Witty Title Here
Pairing: Dylan/Thin Man (Anthony)
Summary: Ever thought what would happen if Thin Man's lighter malfunctioned just when he required it most? Welp, I did and this is the result!
Author's Note: Hello and Happy New Year! How are you today folks? Me, I'm thrilled and happy because I am about to make my first appearance in the realm of FanFiction! Well, I needn't have to tell you that reader, you can easily tell by my lack of experience in story publishing. I mean, I couldn't even come up with a good name for my story! But other than that, it's a good and funny piece of work, which I recommend for anyone who wants to have a good laugh. So please people, don't be shy, step right in and R&R! Praises and constructive criticism will be rewarded with cyber cookies and flames will be used do heat my cyber oven and make cyber cookies.
But enough useless ranting! On with the story! Oh, and I almost forgot….
Disclaimer: I do not own Charlie's Angels. If I had, Charlie's Angels 3 and 4 would have already been released in cinemas by now and I'd be working feverishly on Charlie's Angels 5.
Huuuffff…. PoP! Huuuffff…. PoP!
This kind of activity has been going on for quite a while now in the Angel's office. Less than an hour ago, Charlie summoned all his Angels for an important, yet not very urgent mission. Dylan and Thin Man promptly appeared at the office within 10 minutes of the call… only to spend the rest of the time sitting on a couch, smoking and chewing bubble gum.
With each minute that ticked by, with each bubble that she blew, Dylan's annoyance towards her tardive friends grew. Thin Man on the other hand, having a large supply of cigarettes, and stocks just as great of patience, serenely sat on the couch, with a nicotine induced calm, floating on a sheet of thoughts of his own: "Charlie specifically mentioned it was an important mission, why are those two being late? Oh sure, of course, it's because of their boyfriends! They just can't leave their side without giving them some kind of excuses."
With such problems and issues, Thin Man wondered how were they even able to keep their relationships on the floating line. As far as he was concerned, it was worth having him for a lover merely for the fact that Dylan didn't need to come up with some lame excuse every time she needed to depart on a mission; moreover, he was now on the same side of the barricade as her, meaning he could effectively help her in her missions. And Alex (who, for some unknown reason, disagreed with this relation) could comment all she wants about it, he knows better.
With his mind still on Dylan, Thin Man unconsciously and automatically reached inside his pocket for another cigarette and his silver lighter. He put the cigarette in his mouth and attempted to light it, only… the lighter didn't lit. This so-suddenly-appeared inconvenience stabbed his sheet of thoughts brutally and the resulting rupture greatened with each time he flicked the lighter, until all of his meditations have been waved away like smoke…and he still didn't manage to light that cigarette!
Annoyed, he put the cigarette away and stared at the faulty lighter angrily: "I trusted you almost as much as I did my sword. How could you have failed me?!" Then he resentfully let it go. "Great… Now what do I do?"
Numb after so much sitting around, Dylan got up and started to do some mild aerobic exercises to stretch her limbs. But Thin Man just couldn't get his mind off smoking; he really needed a cigarette now.
Just then, he saw something shiny sticking out of her back pocket: her own lighter! And boy, the American flag has never been more tempting! Thin Man remembered that, as he was growing up at the orphanage, the nuns would teach him-among other religious and ethic morals-that when a person had a choice to make, devilings would urge him to make the wrong choice. And even now, he could almost hear a small, malevolent voice whispering in his ear:
Voice: Go on! Get it!
Thin Man: But it's Dylan's and she's very touchy about it. I should at least ask permission…
Voice: Permission?! There's a 90% chance she won't even understand what you want! Since you are technically mute… And besides (voice gets more malicious) if she cares about it that much, then all the better!
Without further delay, using his trademark, lightning-fast speed, Thin Man leaned towards Dylan, grabbed the lighter, sat back on the couch and started lighting his cigarette- all in split second.
Dylan's woman intuition (don't be surprised, she does have it, or at least, she's been having it ever since the Eric Knox incident) told her that Thin Man had been up to something while she wasn't looking, even thought he moved too fast for her to catch him in the act. At first, she thought he tried to slap her butt, but when she didn't feel the sting, she knew he did something else…something much more unforgivable…!
She turned around to question him but when she saw him laying there, nonchalantly lighting himself a cigarette with her lighter-HER lighter! - she knew she needn't have to ask him anything anymore; except to return it!
Dylan (calmly): Anthony, that's mine.
Anthony (shrugging him shoulders): "So?"
Dylan (getting menacing): Give it back!
Anthony (sitting himself more comfortably on the couch, enjoying the cigarette and playing with the lighter): "Make me!"
Not waiting 4 a 2nd invitation, Dylan lashed out at him to grab the lighter, but Thin Man eluded her grip with little effort, by jumping a bit to the right on the couch; Dylan tried again, thin Man jumped again and so on and so on, until Thin Man reached the end of the couch and Dylan seemed to have cornered him. But if Dylan thought she could get her hands on her lighter that easily, she was so wrong…
Thin Man let himself fall off the couch onto the floor, rolled away from Dylan before she could even touch him, then jumped to his feet jerking his legs forward karate style. Now that he was on his feet, getting that lighter would be mission impossible-and Dylan knew that.
She started chasing him, knowing that in the office he wouldn't have where to run. But wouldn't you know it, that crazy stunt artist began jumping on and over the furniture to make her chase more difficult: on the couch, on the tables, on the office, the windowsills and even on the walls!
And to make matters worse, with each failed attempt of hers of getting her lighter, he grew bolder and bolder: waving the lighter in front of her, throwing it in her direction only to artfully catch it himself…why, he even had the nerve to blow a kiss in her direction! Argh!
With that Dylan lost it completely and started throwing stuff at him; yet he casually dodged the projectiles while laughing at her distress. At that moment, the door started opening itself:
Natalie (shyly, not even daring to enter): Er, look guys, I know we kept you waiting, but… (something hits the door, Natalie squeals with shock the shuts the door) I told you! They're gonna lapidate us with Chinese fighting muffins!!
Alex (boldly opening the door): Now look, I know we're late, but that's no reason to…oh my God!
Natalie too pops her head in the room and saw why Alex was so dumbfounded. By now, Dylan had given up Throwing things at Thin Man (either because she was out of stuff to throw or because, in a sudden burst of lucidity, she realized she would never get her lighter using this method – first one's more probable) and resumed the chase, making Thin man jump all over the place again – not that he found it unpleasant, as his ear-to-ear grin stated.
Alex (realizing what was going on): Cut it out you two! You're acting worse ten year olds! Nat, help me with this!
But Natalie had already left her friend's side and was now hopping up and down in the middle of the room, waving her hands in the air.
Natalie: Anthony, over here! I'm open!
Dylan (on the brink of exploding): Anthony, don't you dare!
Too late, Thin Man had already thrown the lighter to Natalie, who caught it and started running around the offence, chased by Dylan. And when it seem like Dylan was about to catch her (she wasn't as good at eluding Dylan as Thin Man was), Natalie threw the lighter back to Thin Man. At this rate, it seemed like poor Dylan would spend the rest of her life running after the lighter.
Only Alex decided to get involved as well, not on Dylan's side, nor on Thin Man's. She thought that if she could catch the lighter, she could put an end to this masquerade; if she could get her hands it, of course.
At one point Thin Man grew a tad too bold and threw the lighter at Natalie even though Alex had a better chance of catching it. Yet Alex didn't manage to snatch it because Dylan got in the way. Alex only managed to touch it a little, but that mild touch made the lighter bounce back to Thin Man, flying chaotically.
Sick and tired of running around, Dylan changed tactic and jumped at Thin Man, who was too busy keeping his eyes on the lighter to notice her… until it was too late. The two collided and fell to the floor… and the lighter was still in the air!
Dreading the idea the this game would end, Natalie made one last ditch attempt to catch the lighter but Alex, whose last wish in this world was this horsing around carrying on, tried to catch it herself, resulting in a mid-air collision and forced landing on top of Thin Man and Dylan.
Bosley (entering the office): Morning people! How are Y'all do… holly cow! What's going on here?
Actually, nothing was going on anywhere, the 4 were still on the floor, wiggling around. Alex was trying to scalp her two friends, Natalie was trying to avoid her grip, Dylan was trying to find her lighter and Thin Man (whom everyone seemed to have forgotten about) was unsuccessfully trying to get the girls off him. See what happens when you listen to those deviling voices, people?
In all this time, the troublesome lighter was layering where it had landed, next to the speaker, as if "Daddy" had decided playtime was over and it was now time to get to serious business.
Charlie: Now that we are all assembled, Angels, I believe it's time we start our day.
Thank you, reader for bothering to read my work! Hope you laughed at least once! Good bye, have a nice day and don't forget to drop a review!
P.S.: If you find it confusing and are wondering, I will tell you that Thin Man hasn't said a word at all during the story, all those are mental thoughts.