Hey this is my first fanfiction! I'm so excited! Some of you might know my friend runaway xo (hence my penname). This is a short crackfic, meant for my own entertainment so be nice :) This is obviously OOC! So be prepared :) Thanks and I hope you enjoy!

By the way, this is based off of Llama Mama23's story "Vampiric Peaches" It's amazing and I recommend it! Thanks again Llama Mama23 :)


Bella: (embarrassed) Hmm … how can I explain this?

Emmett: I don't know but you better do it fast. I might have to go call Edward, he would get a kick out of this.

Bella: Well you see, I'm so attracted to it, I have no idea why. It's like it's pulling me towards it.

Emmett: I knew I should have never bitten that peach …

Bella: (chuckles) Yeah, not such a good idea. I've never seen a peach this attractive before.

Emmett: That's a sentence I thought I'd never heard in my whole life. Boy Bella you have quite a few odd traits about you, including your sudden attraction to a peach.

Bella: I'm just full of surprises aren't I?

Emmett: You could say that again ..

Bella: Okay..? I'm just full of surprises aren't I?

Emmett: You really need to stop taking me seriously, it's kind of freaking me out.

Bella: Sorry.

Emmett: It's okay.

Bella: (Takes a staggered step towards peach) AH!

Emmett: Bella?


Emmett: What?

Bella: THE PEACH IT...(Grabs onto counter top while feet continue onward) IT'S LIKE A MAGNETIC PULL. EMMETT HELP ME!

Emmett: Hell no, I'm going to get my camera. (Dashes upstairs)


Emmett: NO, THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY I CAN'T MISS! (races upstairs)

Bella: Ugh, I can't take it! PEACHY, COME TO MAMA! (throws herself towards the peach) Oh Peachward, you don't mind that I call you that right?

Peachward: (silence)

Bella: Didn't think so. Peachward, you are all I need, now meet your fuzzy goodness to my lips!

Emmett: (returns to the kitchen) Whoa Bella this is a side I've never seen of you.

Bella: (breaks away from the peach with blood rushing in her cheeks) Emmett, I'm telling you, I need your help, this can't be normal, I just can't take it anymore.

Emmett: Haha no! This is way too good, YOU GO PEACHWARD!

Bella: (launches herself at the peach for a second round)


Bella: (jumps) Wh- what did I do?

Emmett: Uh Bella, you squished poor little Peachward.

Bella: (drops to her knees) NOOOOOOOOOO, HE WAS SO YOUNG!!

Emmett: Wow Bella, I would think that you would realize that peaches are a bit fragile.

Bella: I guess so, when I started I just couldn't stop mysel – Damn it.

Emmett: ?

Bella: I now know why Edward is so careful around me.

Emmett: Are you seriously comparing your relationship with Edward to your obsession with a peach? Wow Bella, I'll go get the number for the best therapist now..

A/N: Reviews would be amazing :D Thanks!