Forgive me for making you wait so long. I had this chapter already written last night and was going to have it up this morning. When I finally got control of the computer and went to submit it, I realized...something went wrong and it didn't save the whole thing. There were only three paragraphs left. DX
The intermission was written long ago (I like to come prepared...), so all I had to do was change up a few things, and it was ready to be submitted to keep you busy until I finished this. So...this means that this chapter is rushed as well. It isn't nearly as long or funny as the part I had stayed up all night to write last night, and the only way I could make the damn thing extend longer than 2 pages was by going through all the half-written stories I had stored on my computer and carving them up for jokes. Since a lot of the jokes were copied and pasted from other stories, expect to see slipshod patchwork. Primus, this is not my best work. =P
Also, since it's a new year, I added a really long note. It's the part before the story in italics.
EDIT: I upped the rating slightly due to Barricade's mouth.
Warning: Long-ass tangent to follow.
Looking back on this year, I've noticed how much I've evolved as a writer. My works have been getting longer and wordier. I actually like most of the stuff I submit (in the past, I generally started to hate my submissions a week or so later). Stuff that I write actually has a plot.
I remember I first got into writing Transformers fanfiction back in late March/early April after reading a few fanfictions out of boredom. Believe it or not, the first TF fanfiction that I ever read was SLASH. The fact that it was BarricadexBlackout kind of influenced the on/off friendship between the two in my stories, as well as Blackout and Barricade's rare joke humorously implying a possible love connection between the two. It's also one of the inspirations for making one of my OC's (Sniper) gay. Fortunately for those of you who read my crap that don't read slash, Sniper is the only one in my stories interested in anyone of the same gender (Barricade is sometimes iffy, though, Blackout, maybe). Slash isn't really my thing when I write. I've tried it. I don't think I'm good at it. Therefore I never post it (aside from one story, although like the aforementioned implications, it was meant to be taken as a joke).
Now, I'd like to thank my two biggest inspirations for writing. First, there's my sister. Whether she intends to or not, she gives me most of my ideas. Some of the jokes I use, I get from her. Not to mention, she does these wicked hilarious impressions of the Decepticons. Her Scorponok voice has me dying everytime, especially the way she says, "Aww! My toupee!" (Showing Off reference) Unfortunately, because of her, I have to keep my Barricade and Bumblebee toys separated from each other to avoid the lewd comments about gay robot sex. XD
And then there's YOU. You, as in anyone who's ever read and/or reviewed my stories. When I first joined this site and put up my first two fanfics, I expected no one to bother reading them. This led to my near-fatal heart attack when there were reviews the very next morning. XD If it weren't for you guys reading, reviewing, sending PM's, offering constructive criticism, etc. I probably would have lost interest in writing fanfiction within a month. So therefore, I am sincere when I say thank you. Thank you for putting up with my horrible writing skills long enough for me to improve and write something worth reading. =)
It's been a very fun year of writing. Here's to a new year, and with it, the new ideas, new readers, several new CD's that I've been looking forward to for a long time, and a new Transformers movie to base my fanfictions off of.
Happy Hangover Day, everyone!
Sometime around 4am, the last of the partygoers dropped like zombies. It looked almost like the scene of a massacre with the way everyone was passed out in random places, except instead of blood on everything, it was spilled high grade and vomit.
Optimus and Prowl woke up at their usual time of 5am and decided to take that time to begin cleanup. Optimus dragged some of the mechs out of the center of the floor while Prowl gathered up some of the scattered CD's from the floor (as they got drunker, the others just started tossing Jazz's CD's in random places rather than putting them back nicely).
Prowl looked over one of the CD's. "They spelled "corn" wrong…" Optimus paused what he was doing and stared at him. "No really! Look, the "R" isn't even facing the right way!"
They both jumped, causing Prowl to drop the CD's he was holding, and Optimus to drop Ironhide on his head. "Sideswipe, why aren't you passed out like everyone else?" Optimus asked.
"I didn't drink anything last night. That way I can do this…" Before they could stop him, he ran through the room banging on a pot with a metal spoon and screaming, "Happy Hangover Day!" Everyone woke up pissy and threw anything they could find nearby at him. Fortunately for Sideswipe, none of them had good aim while suffering a hangover. Unfortunately for Sideswipe, Sunstreaker was an expert at mastering hangovers and quickly got over his in time to chase him all over the base.
Sideswipe ran past the other way with his brother hot up his tailpipe. "I REGRET NOTHING!"
"Now that you're up, can we go home now?" Starscream asked impatiently.
"No…" Barricade groaned. "Unless you want to carry us all…" Jazz was still lying across him and Brawl. He hadn't moved since he rolled onto them the night before.
Somewhere across the room, Bonecrusher rolled off of the table he was napping on and landed hard on top of Wheeljack. "Mmph… Bonecrusher, get off…" Wheeljack grumbled weakly, trying to push him off.
"Why does my head hurt a lot more than it should?" Ironhide asked, sitting up slowly. Blackout tipped over and fell on top of him.
"Sideswipe, unlock the damn door!!" Sunstreaker screamed, pounding on the hallway closet door.
"Put down the belt sander and tell me you love me, first!" Sideswipe said from the other side.
"Shh…I'm trying to watch the movie," Arcee mumbled, half asleep.
"Make the noise stop…" Bumblebee groaned.
"Doctor, what is the diagnosis?" the nurse asked as dramatic music sounded.
The doctor spun around, holding a Twister board. "Right foot green!" The dramatic music sounded again.
"It's worse than I expected!" the nurse gasped while more dramatic music sounded.
The TV channel changed. "We now return to X-TREME TYPEWRITING!!!"
A man pounded on a typewriter and quickly spun around in his chair. "TIME!! How'd I do?!"
"6,128 words per minute!!" the coach replied.
"Dammit!! That's 2 words less than last time!!"
The channel switched again to reveal a bunch of people running in circles with their arms extended, making airplane noises. In the background, one of them ran into a tree. Somewhere off screen, someone screamed, "Soylent Green is people!!"
"We will return to "Stupid People Doing Something Stupid" after these messages!" the announcer said.
Barricade changed the channel. "Damn, these TV shows blow worse than Blackout's girlfriend!"
Blackout suddenly turned to glare at him from his spot on the couch. "And how would you know that?"
Barricade realized that he'd said something stupid and potentially fatal and quickly tried to change the subject. "Well…um…you know…I… Oh look, a documentary!!"
"You are watching, "When Caterpillars Attack!" only on the Discovery Channel." The camera cut to a shot of a person screaming while someone held a caterpillar up to the camera to make it look bigger than it really was. It switched to a baby crying while a caterpillar inched its way across the baby's high chair. Finally, there was a shot of a caterpillar eating a leaf while the leaf screamed in a chipmunk-like voice.
"Now can we go?" Starscream asked.
"NO!" the Decepticons all screamed at him in unison.
"Geez, you guys don't have to be so snappy about it."
"Stop screaming," Jazz requested from the couch. He rolled over and covered his head.
"No, seriously Barricade, how do you know that?" Barricade averted his optics.
Barricade and Bonecrusher both sat by the coffee table, drinking the liquid that Ratchet had given them. Barricade got hungry and ate M&M's that he found on the floor. Sideswipe started absentmindedly tapping on his glass, creating a loud clinking noise. The Decepticons both glared at him. "Sorry…"
Starscream sat on the end of the couch and sulked while the other four tried to get over their hangovers. Blackout seemed about ready to shoot Barricade with laser vision, and Barricade was trying to hide behind Bonecrusher.
"Hey, where's Brawl?" Bonecrusher asked.
"You've been sitting on me for the past half-hour," Brawl replied.
"Oh, so that's why the floor felt so sharp and pointy?" Bonecrusher bounced up and down on him a few times.
Barricade was lucky that he was sitting next to a very cranky Bonecrusher. Blackout could hold high grade better than he could due to his large size and hadn't drunk as much as Barricade had. He'd have no problem chasing him through the Autobot base, trying to kill him. Bonecrusher was scary enough when sober. He was quite terrifying when he was hung over. Blackout likely wouldn't try anything while the Mustang was cowering behind him.
"Can we go now?" Starscream asked.
"Yes… Let's…" Blackout agreed. "Waffle might need feeding…"
Barricade tapped on Jazz's leg. "Can I crash at your place tonight?" he asked. Jazz swatted his hand away and went back to sleep.
Some time later…
Blackout walked past Bonecrusher's door where he could hear KoRn blasting from the other side and made his way to Barricade's room and knocked on the door. "Are you still hiding from me? Cade, I'm already over that, it was four months ago."
"Barricade is not here. Please leave a message after I utter an offensive profanity: Fuck off," Barricade said from the other side.
Blackout shrugged and went to find Scorponok. "Hey, Scorpy, I'm ordering pizza, what do you want on…" He paused when he heard a knock on the front door. "Who could that be?"
"Blackout, could you answer that?" Starscream called from the other room.
Blackout went and answered the door to find a pink, bow-wearing female scavenger with about a dozen or so babies with her. "SCORPONOK!"