Disclaimer: I am not Tite Kubo
Eleventh Division often had huge, crazy drinking parties. Usually, Ichigo, an honorary member of 11th, managed to escape them by pleading paperwork or other duties (he was the captain of 5th division, after all), but today there was no escape. So, dragged along by Renji and Ikkaku, Ichigo found himself surrounded by sweaty, smelly men, a drunk Yachiru, and sake.
"Come on, Ichigo, loosen up!" said Renji. He pushed a jug into the boy's hand. Ichigo sighed and longed for his old life in Karakura Town. After leaving his body in a building that burnt down 'while he was out', he was unable to return. After all, it was difficult to modify memories when the entire town watched the news comment about his 'tragic death'. So he replaced Rukia as the town's full time shinigami, and Rukia finally became vice-captain of 13th.
Before long, however, Hinamori Momo of 5th broke down under the strain of upholding a division by herself. Ichigo was brought in, and he somewhat grudgingly took the position of captain.
He looked at the sake in his hands and though he might as well drink.
And an hour later someone had the bright idea of having a dare contest.
"Ikkaku, I dare you to-" Renji looked about the room. Yumichika was standing in a corner, as far away as possible from all the drunken bodies. "To kiss Yumichika, on the mouth!" he spouted triumphantly. Surely he wouldn't!
Ikkaku took it in stride. He sauntered over to the feather-browed man (who hadn't been listening and was blissfully unaware of what was happening) and plopped a sloppy kiss on him. With wide, bewildered eyes, Yumichika stared at the bald man as he casually walked away.
"Renji, I dare you to admit your undying love to Rukia-" he paused for effect, "-in front of Kuchiki-taicho!" Renji looked horrorstruck.
"I can't do that!"
"Then you forfeit and are hereby known as Coward-chan for all-"
"Alright, fine!" Renji stalked off. Sometime later, he returned. Tiny cuts covered his entire body. The Eleventh roared in laughter.
"S'not funny!" The red-head rounded on Ichigo.
"Ichigo, I dare you to lick Zangetsu's blade the entire way! Five times!"
"No!" Bravely, Ichigo unsheathed his sword, but he had doubts. Of course, the blade wouldn't hurt him, but what if Zangetsu felt it? What would he think?
Carefully, Ichigo ran his tongue up the blade's length. It began to vibrate ever so slightly, and Ichigo became worried. However, he kept it up, licking it again and again the entire five times. By the end the sword was nearly humming, though no one noticed. Ichigo shot a smug look at Renji and allowed the bandage-like sheath to wrap around the blade. He stuck his tongue out, displaying its undamaged surface.
"Like Zangetsu would ever hurt me." However, blackness was creeping up on the edge of his vision. Had he drunk to much sake?
With a mumbled 'excuse me' Ichigo left for a bathroom. It wouldn't do to faint in front of the 11th. As he locked the stall and sat down (still clothed, however,) the blackness finally took over.
Ichigo looked around. He was in his inner world. How odd… why would he be there? Before he could take a step, a set of arms grabbed him and kept him in place. He twisted around to look at his assailant.
"Old man!" It was Zangetsu. Something seemed off, though. The man was shaking slightly, and his eyes had a strange look in them. They were staring at Ichigo… hungrily?
"What did you just do to me?!" the man growled. Ichigo floundered for a bit.
"Uh, well, you see-"
"What did you do?!"
"I, um, licked you?"
"And do you know what that did to me?" he snarled.
The man closed is eyes as though praying for patience. His shaking died down a bit.
"I'm just going to have to show you."
With that he pinned Ichigo to the side of the skyscraper and began to attack the boy's neck… with his tongue.
"Ah! What the hell are you doing!"
Zangetsu chose not to honor the question with an answer and instead removed the teen's shihakushou top. He then swiftly pinned the boy's arms up above his head and continued to lick down his chest.
"Gah! Stop that! Why are you-" Ichigo cut himself off with a gasp as Zangetsu sucked on his nipple. God, it felt good! What on earth was happening? The zanpakutou moved to the other nipple, then continued down to the boy's stomach. By now Ichigo was panting, definitely turned on. His hakama was noticeably tented.
Zangetsu continued, ever lower, until he reached Ichigo's waistband. He loosened the hakama ties and pulled it down, freeing the boy's erection. Teasingly, he licked at the boy's inner thighs and then lightly ran his tongue over the panting teen's slit. Ichigo bucked his hips, and Zangetsu frowned, freeing Ichigo's arms in favor of immobilizing his hips.
"Please—please old man—I need-"
"Say my name," demanded Zangetsu. Ichigo's manner of addressing him always irked him.
Satisfied, the zanpakutou engulfed the boy's erection entirely, sucking firmly and running his tongue down the underside of its length. Ichigo gasped and pleaded incoherently as his sword drove him closer to the edge. Just as he was about to come, Zangetsu was gone, and Ichigo was staring at grimy bathroom tiles. A certain problem strained in his hakama.
"God damn it!" Ichigo cursed. "Stupid sword!" A deep, echoing chuckle resounded inside his head. The bathroom door opened.
"Ichigo, you in there?"
"Yeah Renji, I'll be right out." He had to take care of his 'problem,' first.
A/N: Hmm... for something written on a sugar high, I think it's ok. Zangetsu is OOC, but lets just say sexual frustration mixed with alcohol made him cranky.
ZanIchi is my absolute favorate pairing, and Zangetsu is my fav. character, closely followed by Urahara.
This story is dedicated to SlytherinMax, for sharing my love of ZanIchi.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! WOO! 2009
Damn, it will take me forever to start dating stuff correctly.
Please, please, please review! It only takes a moment to do so, and makes me so happy. Hell, a :) or a :( will do! Tell me how I did with my first citrus-y piece!