Title: The Emperor's New Year Speech
Author(s): Lora Kael (and ClonTrag)
Category: Insanity
Characters: The Emperor
Summary: Well, the Emperor is holding his New Year speech... and it's nothing like what it's like in DK!
Disclaimer: We don't own star wars(just wish we did), the Emperor or anything mentioned in here, just like to play around with the universe.
Notes: Started two New Years ago as a loose idea two in the morning...Whenever this () appear it's the Emperors thoughts. Just a little bit of insanity. ;)


Once again a standard Imperial year has passed by and this year has been a year full of shocking events.

Our grand fleet has fought and won many glorious battles against the evil rebels, but in our fight against these terrorists, who have tried to destroy the stability of our beloved Empire, we now have a new weapon! The Death Star is our grandest accomplishment and a true sign of the Imperial might. The rebels shall soon cover and scatter from it, and there will be peace again. (The power is mine, and NO ONE shall try to take it from me!)

NOTHING can rock our resolution! Our brave troopers will fight these terrorists, so all citizens can go about their daily lives without fear of being used by the rebels or coming home to find their families murdered. (Always good to have some to blame, when the troopers' been doing the dirty work).

To lead these brave men, we have among others Grand Moff Tarkin, who will ensure success in eradicating the rebel threat, and Darth Vader, who will personally oversee everything, so this illegal Rebel Alliance and the war they wage on the citizens of the Empire, will soon be history. (I certainly hope he does it properly, or I'll just have to kill him. He's useful, but Tarkin is getting old. Well, that is why I'm having Vader playing lab dog; if Tarkin doesn't do the job Vader gets to kill him; that keeps him happy).

But other things have happened in this year, things far more pleasant than the fight against the rebels. This year have been a truly marvellous year, where the economy has blossomed (yup, I now have more money than ever before and I say thanks to the taxes for that) and Coruscant has never been better!

The scum of the Underworld has been driven on the run and many arrests have been made to bring an end to the illegal activities of vile crime lords. (I hate competition! They always think they can beat me, so it was about time they learned a lesson! Ha! Of course Xizor is quite useful for the moment, so I've left his operation off in all of this 'cleaning up').

Our glorious fleet has also expanded and is now bigger and stronger than ever before, so that the citizens of the Empire can feel safe; our grand stardestroyers is and will in the future reside over our planets protecting them from rebels, pirates and other kind of scum. (And smugglers. I hate smugglers; they help the Rebels!) Here I will send my greetings to the brave men of our glorious fleet. May they never loose heart (or get traitorous thoughts), but always believe in the cause they are fighting for: to keep the Empire and their very families safe knowing that the strong bonds of family will always carry them through even the most cruelsome battles. This is what we fight for! This is what our brave men fight for, when fighting the terrorists! Peace! (Bah! What a piece of crap: their souls and lives belong to me. I don't care if they die, but training new recruits is expensive).

The stormtroopers have been our spear point in many fights against the terrorist rebels, winning countless battles that might otherwise have been lost (I certainly hope not; someone would pay if that was the case); with them on the ground the undisciplined rebels have not stood a chance. And as the troopers has been fighting hard on the ground and patrolling our cities, so the rebels can not get a foothold in them, so has our pilots fought the battles in space, to chase away or help capture any scum that would threaten the Empire. (Rebels, smugglers (again) and pirates have quite good things aboard sometimes; can be worth it boarding them. I'll remind Vader to board first and then destroy).

But all these attacks that are meant to unstable the Empire will not work. As this year is ending I have taken the necessary steps to ensure that the peace will be kept, by disbanding the Senate and giving a stronger regional control to the governors and Moffs. That way action can be taken swiftly instead of hampered by the Senate's slow debate. (Oh, I have wanted to do this for so long, but until the rebels got really active there was a bit too much resistance against it; don't want a second rebellion. One is plenty, though it would have been a nice excuse to get rid of a few troublesome senators).

Very unfortunately it has also been revealed that some Senators have secretly been supporting the terrorist (May they die a slow and painful dead), and they will of course be questioned about it. (Well, some will just die, but I want information on the rebellion. The others will die after I get that information).

The citizens of the Empire can rest assured that this year will be a safe one, with the Moffs and regional governors now with better resources to fight of the terrorist and the Death Star to aid them in their fight. We will not live in fear of loosing our lives (like that's going to happen; I got the best security available plus the Force) or that of our families, but prosper and look toward a new year with better security for all! (Translation: more control by stormtroopers, SD's, Vader and the Death Star breathing down the neck of any planet with rebellious thoughts. All in all more power to me).

LONG LIVE THE EMPIRE!(AND LONG LIVE ME!)