AN: this is Jacob's POV during the wedding and I will use the dialogue from when he and Bella talk in the book. I really like when it's as correct as it is in the book. Hope you like it. Excuse my spelling and grammar. I wanted this written fast so I can go on and I have read through it. Of course I don't own anything!!!!
The wedding from hell
Oh god. What am I doing here? This is such a bad idea.
I was standing outside the big mansion that held the wedding I was determined to avoid, or so I thought. I was, truth to be told, surprised (which is actually not really a shock) when I got an invitation. I really didn't know what to make of it. Was he really serious about wanting me there or did he just want to rub it in that he got her and I would never have her? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised if that were the case.
I could hear loud music coming out and echoing through the clearing where the gigantic house stood. I could also smell the vile smell that came off the leeches. I couldn't understand how the people didn't smell it like we do. Speaking of which, I could also smell the pack close, within the forest. They really can't trust people? Do they think I'll just run away after I've seen her? Or crash her wedding? Well… okay, that might be the case. But they really should mind their own business.
I slowly start to pull my feet forward and come to the porch. I look up towards the door and can se light shimmering out the windows. My feet drag me up the steps and I am now standing in front of the door. I pull my hand to the bell but pull it away quickly. If I ring it everyone will look towards the door and that we shouldn't have. I then reach for the handle and very slowly open the door and get a gush of wind with leech sent, hitting my face and almost knocking me over. It's just wrong walking into enemies' house.
It's pretty dark by the door. The entire living room has been turned into a dance floor. I would probably never admit it but the sigh really is beautiful. They really went all the way creating the wedding from hell.
I walk inside and close the door, quickly scanning to see that nobody has seen me. Thankfully nobody had but then all thought disappeared as I see her… with him, dancing. My god she looks beautiful. I didn't think it was possible to make her more gorgeous but this just takes the cake. Even in the wedding dress, I knew I would despise for its purpose, I loved it on her. She really looked stunning, to say the least.
Right then his head shot up and he looked directly at me. He spoke to Bella and she looked my way. But by the looks of it, she didn't see me. Must be to dark for her eyes. They were walking towards me. Oh god! I was very nervous. But could you really blame me?!
I should at least try to be friendly. 'So ehm… I guess… congratulations'. He heard but probably pondering if I was sarcastic.
"Thank you," Edward said to me and I could see that Bella was confused about who he was talking to. "This is very... kind of you." I decided to make my appearance notified.
I took a deep breath and said "Kind is my middle name. Can I cut in?" I see Bella's face light up at the sound of my name, she's obviously startled by me, but none the less, the sigh brings my heart soaring.
"Jacob!" She chokes on her own words and says it a little loader "Jacob!"
"Hey there, Bells." I respond with a slight smile. It really doesn't matter if the leech is standing and holding her arm. She wants to see me. It's good enough, even if it's just for now. She stumbles forward, his hand still on her arm and I bring my arms as to keep her from falling and bring her to my chest. She puts her head on my chest sighing. I vaguely hear the leech mutter something about a dance and then leaves us be.
"Oh, Jacob!" She was crying. I could hear, smell and feel it trough my shirt. "Thank you."
"Stop blubbering, Bella. You'll ruin your dress. It's just me." I state but am happy she wants me here. Even if she's (trying not to gag) married to the leech, about to become one herself soon, too soon.
"Just? Oh, Jake! Everything is perfect now." I snort
"Yeah – the party can start. The best man finally made it." My speech is heavily laid with sarcasm.
"Now everyone I love is here." My heart once again soars at how she pronounced everyone and I bring my lips to her hair. God it feel so god to have her here in my arms.
"Sorry I'm late, honey." I sigh and desperately wants this to be our wedding and not his and hers.
"I'm just so happy you came!" She's happy I came. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.
"That was the idea." I mutter and I see her gaze over the mass of people, stopping it at my father. I try not to sight.
"Does Billy know you're here?"
"I'm sure Sam's told him. I'll go see him when... when the party's over." My voice goes sad.
"He'll be so glad you're home." Glad, yeah… I slightly pull away regretfully. If I could stand with her for as long as I wanted, just hugging, I would be in heaven but I couldn't and I was on the clock, so to speak. I bring her hand to my heart; maybe she'll know what she's doing to me, hear or feel my heart breaking of even leaving her. But if she's happy having me here that's good enough for me.
"I don't know if I get more than just this one dance," I say with obvious sadness in my voice, "I'd better make the best of it." I take a break. "I'm glad I came," I say after a moment, surprising myself in the process. "I didn't think I would be. But it's good to see you... one more time. Not as sad as I'd thought it would be." But a bit heartbreaking.
"I don't want you to feel sad." She says with sincerity.
"I know that." Of course I know that. "And I didn't come tonight to make you feel guilty." I would never do that.
"No – it makes me very happy that you came. It's the best gift you could have given me." I laugh humourlessly.
"That's good, because I didn't have time to stop for a real present." Like I would even get them a real present. The thought is some what humorous.
She was now studying my features closely. "When did you decide to come back?"
Did she really have to ask me that? "Consciously or subconsciously?" I take a second and answer before she and say anything further. "I don't really know. I guess I've been wandering back this direction for a while, and maybe it's because I was headed here. But it wasn't until this morning that I really started running. I didn't know if I could make it." I laughed "You wouldn't believe how weird this feels – walking around on two legs again. And clothes! And then it's more bizarre becauseit feels weird. I didn't expect that. I'm out of practice with the whole human thing." We stand in silence until I bring up her appearance.
"It would have been a shame to miss seeing you like this, though. That's worth the trip right there. You look unbelievable, Bella. So beautiful." My voice could not have been more honest.
"Alice invested a lot of time in me today. The dark helps, too." How can't she see herself clearly and admit that she's stunning?!
"It's not so dark for me, you know."
"Right." She says and remembers I'm a werewolf with heightened senses.
"You cut your hair," she said and there was something in her voice.
"Yeah. Easier, you know. Thought I'd better take advantage of the hands."
"It looks good," I can see through the lie. She really does suck at lying.
"Right. I did it myself, with rusty kitchen shears." I grin but then I become serous. "Are you happy, Bella?" I want her to be happy. It would be so much better if- No! I'm not doing this now.
"Yes." She says immediately and without hesitation. I bit back a sigh.
"Okay. That's the main thing, I guess." Even if she shouldn't really be happy with him.
"How are you, Jacob? Really?"
"I'm fine, Bella, really." She had to know that I'm fine. I can survive on my own. "You don't need to worry about me anymore. You can stop bugging Seth."
"I'm not just bugging him because of you. I likeSeth." Well she's got me there. It's hard not to like Seth. The kid really is great.
"He's a good kid. Better company than some. I tell you, if I could get rid of the voices in my head, being a wolf would be about perfect." That sounded so mental.
"Yeah, I can't get mine to shut up, either."
"In your case, that would mean you're insane. Of course, I already knew that you were insane," I teased.
"Insanity is probably easier than sharing a pack mind. Crazy people's voices don't send babysitters to watch them."
"Sam's out there. And some of the others. Just in case, you know." Really! How bout' a little trust?!
"In case of what?"
"In case I can't keep it together, something like that. In case I decide to trash the party." That thought really does sound appealing but they'd stop me before I'd do any major damage. "But I'm not here to ruin your wedding, Bella. I'm here to..." I trail off. I wouldn't do anything to upset her.
"To make it perfect." She finishes. My heart soars again. She really wants me here. But only as a friend. And I know it will never be more.
"That's a tall order." I say and
"Good thing you're so tall." Must she make it so difficult?
"I'm just here to be your friend. Your best friend, one last time." If that's what she wants then I guess that's what she'll get.
"Sam should give you more credit." Glad someone thinks so. But I know he's doing what he thinks is best.
"Well, maybe I'm being oversensitive. Maybe they'd be here anyway, to keep an eye on Seth. There are a lot of vampires here. Seth doesn't take that as seriously as he should." The kid really is idiotic. How can he be so at ease being in a vampire's home? It's insane! Just because he once fought with them they have to be best friends?
"Seth knows that he's not in any danger. He understands the Cullen's better than Sam does."
"Sure, sure," I say. I don't want to start a fight about how her precious vampire's aren't as innocent as she thinks. Murderers is what the are. No! Jacob! Stop it!
"Sorry about those voices. Wish I could make it better." She shouldn't worry. It's not good on my part.
"It's not that bad. I'm just whining a little." No need to tell her how bad it really is.
"You're... happy?" I sigh deeply in my thoughts. Of course not happy.
"Close enough. But enough about me. You're the star today. I bet you're just loving that. Centre of attention." So shy still. I hope that will never go away, it's so adorable. The topic shouldn't be about me and how I will probably never get over her properly.
"Yeah. Can't get enough attention." She mutters sarcastically and I can't keep myself from laughing. My eyes slowly gaze over the room, properly this time and I admit it again and this time out load. How great it looked, really beautiful.
"Alice is an unstoppable force of nature." She says and right then the song is over. Too soon!
"Song's over. Do you think I get another one? Or is that asking too much?" would he really throw me out for wanting to dance with her some more?
"You can have as many dances as you want." And she tightens her arm around me and once again (owe lost count on how many times) my heart soared.
I laugh at the thought of him actually trying to throw me out without a scene and start dancing some more as a new song goes around. "That would be interesting. I think I'd better stick with two, though. Don't want to start talk." That would be something interesting.
But I knew that the inevitable was coming and I could d nothing about it. "You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now,"
I hear her sniff and look down. She's probably remembering after the fighting. That was one of the toughest times I've ever had.
"You're not supposed to be the one crying, Bella."
"Everyone cries at weddings," I said thickly.
"This is what you want, right?" I have to make sure.
"Right." So it really is? I still don't want to believe it that she's choosing death.
"Then smile." But instead of a smile she grimaces and I laugh.
"I'm going to try to remember you like this. Pretend that..."
"That what? That I died?" Her voice becomes mad and I tense up, fighting off the anger and answered; "No," he finally answered. "But I'll see you this way in my head. Pink cheeks. Heartbeat. Two left feet. All of that." She stomps as hard as she could on my foot, but not hard enough to hurt me and I smile. "That's my girl." If only that was as true as I wanted it to be.
Before the dance would be over I had to know. Fighting away the anger again, I had to know when… but I couldn't voice it and so I tried again.
"What is it, Jake? Just tell me. You can tell me anything." She looks up and her expression is concerned.
"I – I... I don't have anything to tell you." Okay Jacob! Just spit it out! My god! Why is this so hard?!
"Oh please. Spit it out." Like she read my mind!
"It's true. It'snot... it's – it's a question. It's something I want you to tell me" Do I have to say it? Ask it?
"Ask me." And now she's demanding.
"I shouldn't. It doesn't matter. I'm just morbidly curious." That's an understatement. Ever since I found out she was going to become one of them, I have been so obsessed and not it's like I'm counting down her heartbeats.
"It's not tonight, Jacob," She whispered and I relaxed immensely. She knows me so well. I let a breath of air I didn't know I had held, out.
"Oh," I say and let out yet another breath of air. "Oh." I was vaguely aware that a new song had started playing but I didn't care. I had to know.
"When?" I whisper. I so desperately wanted to know the answer and yet I didn't. This is what I have feared for so long. I don't want to face it.
"I don't know for sure. A week or two, maybe." Her voice was so calm, not like she's talking about condemning herself to death and despair, forever. But wait? Why would they wait a week or two? I mean. What could possibly be holding them away? I mean I'm glad of course but still. What are they waiting for?
"What's the holdup?"
"I just didn't want to spend my honeymoon writhing in pain." Like there's any way she could have the classical honeymoon.
"You'd rather spend it how? Playing checkers? Ha ha."
"Kidding, Bells. But, honestly, I don't see the point. You can't have a real honeymoon
with your vampire, so why go through the motions? Call a spade a spade. This isn't the first time you've put this off. That's a goodthing, though," maybe she's doing this on purpose. Changed her mind? Having second thoughts? "Don't be embarrassed about it."
"I'm not putting anything off," She snapped and became defensive. "And yes, I can have a real honeymoon! I can do anything I want! Butt out!" as soon as she had stopped talking I tensed and froze. What! Did! She! Just! Say?! She must mean something else. She can't…! is she insane?!
"What? What did you say?" I was gasping for air and I couldn't really get my mind to cooperate with me.
"About what... ? Jake? What's wrong?" What's wrong?! Maybe she has gone insane. She's talking about having sex. On her honeymoon. With a vampire. A vampire who can and probably will kill her the chance he feels weakness.
"What do you mean? Have a real honeymoon? While you're still human? Are you
kidding? That's a sick joke, Bella!" She must me joking! She must have said it to make me mad. Well mission accomplished!
She was glaring at me, like it was no big deal. Yep! She has gone insane! "I said butt out, Jake. This is so not your business. I shouldn't have... we shouldn't even be talking about this. It's private – " private?! I started trembling with rage. She was serious! In my head I was verbally using every kind of cursing I knew and directed it at the leech. That filthy, blood- soul and life sucking leach! It took me a moment to understand that I was holding on to her arms, not lightly either but I couldn't really care about that now.
"Ow, Jake! Let go!" She was sounding panicked. Well good! I started shaking her. Maybe she needed a good shake and her senses could come back!
"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!"
My hands were shaking and I gripped tighter around her arms.
"Jake – stop!" She almost shouted.
"Take your hands off her!" It was the leech! The freaking leech! He was going to do this to her?! I would kill him!
"Jake, bro, back away," said another voice. "You're losing it." Seth! It was none of his business! He should not stand in my way. That stupid kid! But I noticed that Bella was shaking with me and she looked hurt.
"You'll hurt her," Seth whispered. "Let her go."
"Now!" the leech snarled. I let her go. I did not want to hurt her.
The next thing I knew I was being pulled away by two of the pack. I could not register who it was but I complied with them. Even though I wanted nothing more than to rip that leech apart. He had Bella in his arms and she was looking at me but I only had eyes for the leech.
"C'mon, Jake. Let's go." It was Seth. He should get out of here. This could be dangerous.
"I'll kill you," I said with fury to the bloodsucker. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" I shuddered. How could he do this?! He would kill her! It would be more merciful than changing her but he would kill her! I guess he doesn't love her after all! Why can't she see that?!
"Seth, get out of the way," the bloodsucker hissed. He wanted me to kill him?! I could make out Seth tugging my arm. Telling me I should go. Go?! I would kill the leech for this! I would! Hear me, I would, I will!
They managed to get me out and right outside I phased. He shall die for killing her! I started running as fast as I could from the house. I can't stay so close. I need to get away! I was vaguely aware that two other were following me but they didn't come close and I kept running.
AN: this was a long one but I always think that Jacob is thinking so much and is very defensive about Bella and I wanted his thought heard. Even though I don't really agree with him. But that's my opinion.