Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I'm gonna write a few Bleach fics now...for reasons I can't explain.
This is just a short little drabble thing. And, yes, pretty much the entire dialogue is taken from the manga itself, but as a way to set up the joke!
ALSO, I REQUIRE REVIEWS TO TELL ME HOW I'M DOING AND HOW I CAN IMPROVE, AS WELL AS REVIEWS KEEP ME INFLUENCED TO ACTUALLY CONTINUE WRITING, BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT IN WRITING IF NO ONE'S GOING TO COMMENT ON IT!
Rukia couldn't take it, listening to Orihime go on and on about how worthless she is. All she wanted to do now was pull that redhead into a passionate hug and kiss her, but obviously, she had to play it the seductive, non-forceful way, so that's just what she did.
"Listen, Orihime. It's not the weak of body that cause problems on the battlefield. It's the weak of spirit. Not one of you...was a hindrance in the battle at the Soul Society."
Rukia knelt down in front of Orihime and smiled warmly at her. "Not Ichigo...or Chad...or Uryu..."
As Rukia placed her hand on her cheek, Orihime's cheeks began to flush deep red. "And, Orihime," Rukia continued, "Neither were you..."
Rukia leaned a little closer. "If any one of you hadn't been there...I'd be dead right now."
Rukia could feel her heart begin to beat faster. "There has to be something you can do...to make yourself fit for this battle."
Orihime could feel Rukia's hot breath brush against her skin.
"Let's find it...together...okay?" whispered the raven-haired girl.
Orihime began to close her eyes, as her lips were only inches from Rukia's. "Oh...Rukia..."
Suddenly, a redneck-looking girl with blond pigtails came crashing down from the sky beside them, ruining the entire moment.
"WHAT?!!" Rukia cried.
"Hi-Hiyori?!" Orihime gasped.
"You're coming with me!" snarled the blond girl, "Hachi says he needs you!"
"What?! Who's Hachi?!" Orihime asked, but the blond girl just grabbed Orihime by the shirt and flew off high into the sky...leaving Rukia both extremely confused and extremely pissed.
'WE WERE THIS CLOSE, DAMMIT!! THIS CLOSE!!! WHY DOES SOMEONE ALWAYS HAVE TO COME AND RUIN THE MOMENT?!!!' Rukia thought furiously, stomping on the ground.
Popping his head out of a hole within the air, Ulquiorra laughed in high-pitched tone and cackled, "SUCKS TO BE YOU, BITCH!!!"
"SHUT UP, DAMMIT!!!!"