A/N: Happy New Years everybody! This is part of the big fanfiction reveal I'm doing for the holidays/new years. It's all in Chiro's POV minus a few small sections.

EDIT: I forgot the stupid disclaimer! How could I be so silly! Monkey Team belongs to Ciro and Jetix not me, I only own Emerald, Micheal, Antauri's dad and bro.


I've compiled a little analogy in my journal over the time:

A- Aw man! Why did I have to be taken away?

D – Dumb people, don't have a clue what I'm going through

O – Oh man, all this homework!

P – Pandemonium is in my head

T – Turbulent emotions drive my life

I – I've been wishing for the chance to leave

O – Ow, stop poking me! All these doctors are driving me insane!

N – Not now, why did it have to be now?


It all blew by so quickly, my happy moments, my injuries, Skeleton King and all it took was three years. Three years of my life, three happy years of my life, the only three years I belonged somewhere. The only three years I felt alive and now, I feel dead again. My hands went numb a while ago, that's my secret to getting everything done. I only feel my legs when I'm running, all the rest of the time I can only hear their clunk, clunk. There are dark circles under my eyes, I toss and turn all night in my sleep. I am a prisoner to this planet, in my own body, a dead body that doesn't feel, doesn't touch, doesn't taste. It doesn't smile, the doctor's all say that I'm just suffering from depression but I know what better. It's not depression, this body is dead, I am a spirit trapped in my own dead body. Depression hurts, this body doesn't hurt, it doesn't feel anything. I can remember it all,

It had been another unusual day with the team. Lately, Gibson and Antauri had both seemed a lot more optimistic. Nova was smiling all the time, Sprx was well, to put it lightly, being Sprx. Otto was moving faster than ever in every repair. Antauri called the team over the intercom to the command center. They rushed to him, the silver monkey was smiling. "Are we ready?" he asked.

"Good here!" Nova said enthusiastically

"Robot's up to spiff," Otto said

"Injuries are healed" Gibson stated

"And Skeleton King is still pinned down," Antauri said, "I am optimistic about this battle; I have good sense that it will be our last against him."

We all went to our posts in the robot and the final battle began. We headed for the fortress; things were going exactly according to plan. Jinmay had been deactivated, Sakko was little trouble and Mandarin was fighting a moral rebound to the good side. Skeleton King had been majorly injured in the last battle, most likely, he'd be resting, the most we would have to worry about was Emerald and Michael, two prototypes for the monkeys that Skeleton King had reactivated in attempt to make his number of smart henchman grow by two strong.

Antauri and Nova re-briefed everyone on our strategies. First, we would slip into the fortress. After that, we'd take out Sakko who'd most likely be watching security cameras, we would send Nova and Sprx ahead as a Scout/Decoy group and follow after Sakko was at least tied back. We'd meet up with Sprx and Nova by Mandarin's office where we'd convince Mandarin to reform to good and if he doesn't, slay him. With Mandarin in hand we'd all go and give Mandarin his first taste of victory as a Hyperforcian (I guess) again by taking out Emerald and Michael. Then we'd proceed to take out Skeleton King. Then at the last minute, we'd probably turn on Mandarin, depending on how dedicated he seems to come back to the team. Then we'd come back to Shugazoom victorious and we'd have to figure out where to go from then.

We landed and disembarked, once inside we found our job all the easier. Sakko was missing and we hadn't time to waste. We headed for Mandarin's office, but Mandarin didn't need any convincing to come along, Sakko's little body was dead on Mandarin's floor. Mandarin's claws were coated in Sakko's blood.

We headed for the two last henchmen, we were seven strong now and nothing could get in our way. We easily took out the last two henchmen and headed for Skeleton King. Mandarin was proving himself dedicated, it seemed almost uncanny that someone who had been so cruel and heartless to us was completely accepted back as an ally in this final battle. We came into his room; Mandarin was quick to point out injuries that were healing and the ones that could be exploited. We all attacked, it took a good ten minutes and some costly wounds but Skeleton King was dead. His blood stained everyone and everything. We boarded the robot and headed for Shugazoom.

Everybody washed up, wounds were bandaged and splinted. By the time we landed, Gibson was splinting Otto's leg and the only person left to take care of was himself. It took about half an hour for the rest to be finished and we all were able to emerge atop the robot.

I remember the thunderous roar of the crowd as they cried out for the Hyperforce's victory. We basked in glory for a few precious minutes and due to injuries had to turn down a festival. I wrote in my journal that night and came out to see what the team was up to; to my surprise, they were not sprinkled around the robot as I thought they might be. They were clustered in a dense area in the command center. Even Sprx seemed deeply in thought. "Antauri?" Gibson asked

"Look, I can't stay, I've got to get back to my family" Antauri said

"What family?" Sprx asked, "And isn't Chiro your family too?"

"As I was saying, and besides I can't take him, he'd never survive in the desert if you're lucky in winter, it'll reach a low of high 80s and summer, you don't want to know. Nova?" Antauri finished.

"Look, I can't take him either, my life will be over within the next eight years and I can't stand to have Chiro loose part of his family like he lost his family before." The team gave her peculiar looks, "In the academy they test you at the end of senior year… they test you. Their training is the best in their half of the cosmos but some people can't control the knowledge they acquire. The test is not of what you learn but if you can keep your cool in a stressful situation. I already know that I will fail it, my nature is to defend myself and I am provoked to anger quickly. Being defensive or aggressive in any way is an automatic death. If the year is a good one, one of all the seniors will be able to go home. I can't leave Chiro alone like that. Sprx?" Nova asked

"I could take care of him, I've got nothing better on my schedule but he doesn't look at me like authority. He looks at me like a friend, which is what I've made myself out to be. I can't put forward the boundaries though." The red monkey replied

"This sucks" Nova said, "and I'm not even going to ask Otto, he can barely take care of himself."

"So what do we do then?" Gibson asked.

"He would be so heartbroken if anybody left, you guys saw how worked up he got when Antauri left on temporary purposes, imagine forever." Nova remarked absently.

"I got an idea," Otto whined softly,

"Go ahead Otto" Antauri affirmed

"We could all stay until Chiro gets his bearings," Otto suggested

"A marvelous idea Otto!" Gibson chimed

"Shut up!" Sprx hissed at Gibson's rather loud comment.

I walked back into my room, I could barely fathom it, the orphanage had seemed like a bad dream up to now but slowly it seemed to get more and more real again. They all wanted to go to their homes with their families. I wanted a home and a family, I thought I'd found it, was I really as demanding as the other teens? Did they really want to leave me? Did they really ever accept me in the first place? All the questions bothered me as I slipped into sleep.

I awoke early the next morning and things fell into routine. I wondered what the monkeys had said in that last conversation. Talk was general at the table and nothing special that day except Mandarin's accepted presence in the robot. Antauri smiled warmly, a little too warmly, it seemed, when evening rolled around. I finally forced my question out "Antauri are you and the others going to leave to your own planets?" I asked. I couldn't believe how childish I sounded, I sounded worse than a baby. I sounded lost.

Antauri looked at me, "Of course not, where on Shugazoom did you get that idea?" he asked seeming rather startled by the comment.

"I just thought that, well… since the war is over, you'd want to go back to your own planets." I said

"Not until either you can get your bearings or find a family that you'd like to be in." Antauri said with a smile. "We've all got places to go but they can wait a while"

I smiled, "Thanks Antauri," I said softly.

I thought about it all night, "or until you could find a family you'd like to be in" echoed in my head, I knew that they wanted to go home. I knew it; I'd find a family, even if I didn't particularly love it. I'd tell some friends to tell the world I was on the adoptable list again and tell them to spread the word via word of mouth and keep it away from the press. Then somebody would adopt me. After all, who wouldn't want a famous kid? Monday was tomorrow morning, Monday was the day I would start it all and by Tuesday, I'd probably have someone who wanted me and by Wednesday I would move in.

It was a brilliant plan, I decided. It would benefit all parties; the monkey team would be able to split to their happy homes. I'd finally get caught up on schoolwork and I'd get a place to be raised by humans. It's not like they would completely vanish, I'd be able to call them up or send a recording to say 'hi.' All of our allies from here would still be here. Things really wouldn't be too different, just a little bit of distance.

Monday morning arrived just in time; I got ready and sprung down to the command center. I couldn't wait to put this plot into action, it wasn't like I was happy they were leaving but in the end it would benefit us all I reminded myself. At school, word of mouth spread like wildfire, I was sure that things wouldn't stop now.

After school, I ran to the orphanage to see if anything had come in, nothing. For a month, there wasn't a single call. My tale hadn't gotten to the media; it must have been regarded as a rumor.

It was that fateful day that it happened, I had just came back from school on Thursday and I was happy, tomorrow was Friday and the weekend was coming. I walked in, I could hear muffled cries.

I was quiet as I approached and silently I could see the scene. Nova's head was buried in Antauri's chest her arms wrapped around him clutching a hot pink colored notice. Antauri was stroking his hand from her neck to the bottom of her jet pack. She was crying, I thought. Nova was crying, of all the people I'd expect to cry, Nova was the last. Antauri's eyes were a little bit wet too.

I wondered if this had meant much, I knew that Antauri had made a few comments about Nova and Sprx getting a little to close for everyone's comfort. Perhaps there had been a costly lapse in judgment, after all it wasn't any secret that they had been going steady for a while after the war started up and even Otto had made some remarks about Sprx and Nova being a little too friendly. I really hoped that nothing had really happened and Nova was just getting sentimental about something silly, maybe an insulting fanboy comment. I didn't even take a second to consider anything worse. I slipped as I attempted to read through the hot pink notice paper and both Nova and Antauri noticed me. Nova quickly pulled away and pocketed the notice. Her sobbing stopped; she wiped the tears from her eyes all in a second. Antauri was stiff for a second but then greeted me. I knew this was startling, I picked myself up, "I'll just be in my room if anyone needs me, heh-heh, bye!" I zoomed up into my room and began to work on my homework, typically, I would have saved it until nightfall but right now, the team needed their time.

I was relieved when my homework was done early and decided to kick back for the evening, I was proud of myself to get it all done. Too bad their wasn't anything to do besides annoy Mandarin, it was boring without homework and the likes to think of. I found out how to hack into monkey programming and spent the afternoon endlessly annoying Mandarin with it. My favorite part was having him walk out into the command center and sing the Barney song and watching the team's reactions. Unfortunately, Gibson caught me around dinner and my fun ended.

At dinner, it was silent. Nobody said anything; Sprx attempted to start a friendly conversation but got smacked for it. I went out afterwards and played football with some of the boys from class until curfew was up. I came back, wrote in my journal, and decided to see what the team was up to. They were sprinkled about in their rooms, I watched Sprx walk into Antauri's room, Antauri was packing some things in a box. "What are you up to?" he asked the silver monkey,

"Packing. I'm not going home, but I'm going to take Chiro to a different planet, I strongly advise that everyone else does this too, we're obviously not welcome here anymore." The silver monkey said.

"We could just take the robot elsewhere." Sprx suggested.

"It's too dangerous, we'll be searched for, it's best just to leave it where it is. We'll take some of Otto's small crafts out; we'll be able to go from there." Antauri said, seeming rather set on his decision.

"Get what you absolutely can't live without and leave the rest here; we'll come back at a later time to get more things. When you're done help out the others and ask them to help too. Leave Chiro's room alone, I'll take care of that later." He finished.

The red monkey stared at him momentarily. He bowed his head and left. Antauri stared blankly out of his room, staring straight at me or rather, the darkness that I was concealed in. He shook his head and looked back at his work. "They don't understand," he whispered. "Not at all."

I slunk to Gibson's room to see what the blue simian was up to. He and Sprx were standing together, clustered around a dresser. "It sucks that we're going to have to leave all this behind." Sprx said.

"Untold truths" Gibson remarked rather sadly with about half the British accent he normally had.

"I don't want to leave this all behind. Shugazoom is a good memory for us; it helped us define our personalities rather than just being a set." Sprx said.

Gibson nodded, "There isn't that much vital to me here," he ran his hand over a thick, old-looking book. "Let's help Nova."

I ran to my room barely avoiding being seen by Sprx or Gibson. I followed them quickly after finding they hadn't heard anything. They were now in Nova's room. Nova was straining to pull a large punching bag into a box. "I already got the message." She said solemnly.

"Well, lemme help with that," Sprx said and helped her pull the bag into the box. "Hey, um, Nova, would you mind coming with me? Yah know, outside for a minute? I have something for you out there." He said, more gently.

"Sure" Nova said and looked at the giant punching bag in the box. "That was all I wanted to bring with me, so we're ready aren't we?" she asked.

"Yep, and Antauri was helping Otto, so we're pretty much home free." He said.

They walked outside together, Gibson gave Sprx a wink as they walked out. Naturally I was hiding again as they passed. Curious to see what Gibson had winked about, I was careful to stay out of view as I followed Sprx and Nova. They walked outside and I watched from aside.

"Um, Nova? This is probably the wrong time to say it because of the notice and I was going to give it to you tomorrow but… now that we're going to be together longer." He sat down and Nova followed him. He pulled a small navy blue box from his helmet. "I just wanted to ask," he said, cautiously concealing it, "Will you marry me?" He opened it, revealing a diamond ring.

Nova looked into his eyes, and gave him a hug. "Give me some time to think on it, with everything going on, I need some time. I mean it's so sweet that you want to but, I just can't think about that right now, maybe when we reach the next planet but… not right now Sprx." She said.

Sprx smiled and nodded, "I knew it wasn't the right time," he mumbled to himself. Nova stood up and walked inside, Sprx sighed and followed her a moment after.

Gibson was nearby, "How'd it go?" the chief of science asked.

"Nowhere." Sprx replied, "What, you'd expect her to come in with a frown on her face after getting proposed to?" he asked.

"No" Gibson admitted. They walked out of sight.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see who it was. My eyes met silver fur and blue eyes, all wadded in an angry position. I cringed, "I thought I sent you to bed." The silver monkey said.

I made a dash for it but was stopped short by another of Antauri's famous levitation tricks. With no solid ground to walk on, I was forced to face the silver monkey's wrath, alone, at night, in the dark. I know, poor me. He brought me back inside, all the while keeping me suspended from the ground. I closed my eyes, hoping to make Antauri think I had passed out from fright. The lit rooms of the super robot vanished as we walked into a dark one, Antauri flipped on a light. "I know you're awake." The silver monkey said, placing me on the ground again.

"Chiro, the monkey team and I have made a decision to leave Shugazoom as a team and find other planets that need our help. Responding to distress calls, that's what we were built for after all. However, we got some good news; we found someone who has a more advanced version of the software for the super robot and need to go get the update chip for the robot. We were planning on leaving the robot here so that we could get the chip." Antauri said and paused to draw in a deep breath, "The rest of the team has pulled together their most valuable items for the trip, as it will take a while." He stopped speaking again, staring at me, who was still playing passed-out on the floor. "Since you're up, I want you to do the same." He said, he levitated me into my bed and left.

I sat up shortly after he left, so they're not leaving me behind… I thought and began to gather what I thought was precious. Clothes, hairbrush, toothbrush, all that kind of stuff. I put everything on the edge of my bed, not knowing exactly what to do with the items, and collapsed into my bed. I must have fallen to sleep because I woke up in the morning, still in the super robot.

I got dressed in a new outfit and discovered that everything on the edge of my bed was gone. I walked towards the command center and on my way, heard Antauri say, "I'll go get Chiro and then we're ready. The rest of you, get in."

I ducked down and ran back up to my room, as if seeing me in new clothes wouldn't matter to Antauri. It didn't seem to, he levitated me from the bed and down into the command center. He levitated me inside the vehicle that we were taking, placed me down and climbed inside himself.

From my view behind closed eyes, I heard a hatch open. The engine started and we took off into the early morning, still-dark-as-night sky. I heard an abrupt screaming below as we began our flight, but it wasn't a happy scream, it was a scream of terror.

I felt the vehicle jerk and abruptly turn skyward. I could feel Antauri's hand ruffling my hair. Suddenly I heard the sound of breaking metal, as if our ship had been pierced by a sort of spear. I heard Otto's screech, "We've been hit!" Gibson yelped.

"We can still make it!" Sprx yelled to stop the commotion. The ship seemed bound by something as Sprx attempted to push it forward. The things broke. "Let's get outa here!" Sprx said. The craft turned skyward and jutted upward toward space.

"Uh guys," Otto said, "Their throwing some ropes at us again. You might want to dodge Sprx."

"I'm dodging 'em as well as I can Otto!" Sprx yelled, and I could feel the craft jerk from side to side.

I heard the sound of piercing metal again. "Oh great," I heard Sprx mutter.

"What is it Sprx?" I heard Antauri ask.

"All systems are failing, we're going down!" Sprx said,

"Can't you do anything?" Gibson asked

"Well then you take the wheel brainiac." Sprx said and continued to push the craft skyward as we got dragged down.

"Do it for me Sprx!" Nova yelped encouragingly.

I could feel gravity gradually falling heavier as we were dragged in. The ship came to a final halt.

"We're doomed" Nova whispered.

"Yeah and all because Nova couldn't keep her fists to her sides because somebody called her a name." Sprx said,

"May I remind you how hard these fists are on top of your head Sprx?" she asked, "May I also remind you of what had just happened and what the Shugazoomian actually did? I wasn't just called a name, there was a lot more than just that." She said

She sighed, "If I wasn't so afraid of what's going to happen next, I would clobber you right now."

The door opened, even with my eyes closed I could see the light flood the craft. "Thought you'd get away early morning, didn't you?" someone asked.

I opened my eyes temporarily, only to see Otto getting plucked from the craft. I could hear a couple of seatbelts release. Antauri wrapped his arms protectively around me, I closed my eyes again and took in a deep breath.

"Chiro, go back to sleep," I heard the silver monkey whisper.

I heard the door behind me open, and I felt Antauri's grip release on me. "Let me go!" I heard him growl. "Somebody," he growled, "Take Chiro where he won't see this."

I heard Sprx and Gibson get grabbed, each making a sort of identifying sound. "Now for the dangerous one," I heard the Shugazoomian say.

I heard the sound of transformers, "If you can't trust me anymore then it's more than okay for me to turn my back on you." Nova muttered.

"Don't do it Nova!" I heard Sprx cry out.

I then heard a surprising remark from Antauri, "Go ahead Nova."

The rest of the monkeys fell silent and most-likely very still. "You can't reason with a human once they hate you. Once the humans turn their backs to us then it becomes okay for us to attack." Antauri said.

Nova was probably grinning, I heard a loud smack just before I heard the sound of chains and Nova's screeching. The crowd went dead silent for a moment before cheering arose. I was plucked out of the craft. I had been catching onto the fact that something was very wrong so I went limp, like a ragdoll.

I let the Shugazoomian hold me, and I let my muscles relax with a technique Antauri taught me. I slowed my breathing and gathered into a limp death-like meditative state. "This is what they have done!" the Shugazoomian yelled, I could feel myself being hoisted into the air.

"To one of their own!" he yelled after a moment's pause.

The crowd was letting out sounds of disapproval, although no sound seemed to dominate the others.

"Away with them!" the Shugazoomian yelled. I opened my eyes, only to see the monkeys being dragged away. Antauri nodded his head sadly and only took a quick glance at the situation before walking on. The look on his face set like concrete in my heart. I closed my eyes again, not because I was afraid to be seen as awake, but because I was upset, upset that I may not see the team again, ever.

I was brought back down by the Shugazoomian and walked through the crowd into a place of some sort.

The roar of the crowd outside eventually died down, and the Shugazoomian walked us to a car where he climbed inside, thrusting me into the back. The car started and we drove for a while. We stopped somewhere and he walked out of the car, I could hear the conversation outside the open door.

"Is he here?" A woman asked,

"In the back Mary," the Shugazoomian said,

Mary! I thought, Mary, the woman who managed the orphanage when I lived there…

The back car door opened and I was plucked out and carried inside a building. I was lain on a bed and the woman walked away, closing the door behind her.

I pulled myself from the meditative state, opened my eyes and sat up. I had never heard anything about the monkey team not being loved by Shugazoom. I was swamped in confusion and no way to know exactly why Shugazoom was so mad at the monkeys.

--Antauri's POV--

I look around and see the mocking Shugazoomian faces. I'm being led off to my death and all because one Shugazoomian couldn't learn some humility. All I can think of right now is my father telling me how dangerous humans were. My brother who taught me that humans weren't bad and… Chiro who taught me that humans are more like us than I had ever known. I'm torn in what to believe, I want to believe humans are good natured, for Chiro's sake but it's hard to see past the blindfold of red that wraps my eyes after what the Shugazoomians did.

--Nova's POV--

I can't say that I'm mad at the Shugazoomians right now, but I was surprised by Antauri's last comment. Antauri hates war, why did he suddenly emphasize it on the Shugazoomians? The strange thing is, I know what lies ahead. I'm no fortune teller but hearing the stories from one of my other friends past, he's told me what it's like to be on death row.

First we'll get shoved in cages, then, if they want to torture us, they'll do one or more of three things: one, leave us here to await our fate, two, let all of Shugazoom come in and mock us to our faces, or, three, and perhaps the most painful, let our loved ones in to say their goodbyes.

I am forced to walk onward, knowing that the life I had ahead of me, was over. I could have done a lot of things over. I could have said yes to Sprx, he's probably thinking about the diamond ring he tried to give me in his helmet right now. I wish I could tell him yes now, just to see the look on his face, to see those cold, murky, mysterious black eyes fill with the spark of life. I could have been less rough on the others, I could have done a lot of things.

Why don't these humans recognize that we're like them? We have lives, plans, feelings, arrangements and engagements?

--Chiro POV again--

The day passes painfully slowly and quietly. I muddle through what I can remember and what evidence I know to make the puzzle come into focus. It never does. The door opens, it's Mary, "There's food being served in the dining hall if you're hungry." She says and shuts the door.

I close my eyes and lay back again, my head was hurting and I was hungry, but I was hungrier for the answer to my inquiry about the monkey team. I decide not to eat tonight.

Many hours later, the moon rises and Mary comes into the room. She's holding a paper plate, "I brought some food in case you were hungry." She said.

I looked at the plate and then her, with a blank stare on my face. "Don't worry; the monkey team won't hurt you anymore." She said softly as if trying to coax a small child to walk.

The anger and confusion inside of me exploded, "What do you mean 'hurt me'? The monkeys never hurt me!" I screamed. They were my family I thought.

"You were passed out though, inside the aircraft, we found the needle-mark in your arm, you don't need to worry about covering yourself. Or them." She said,

"Yeah, and do you know what happened to me there?" I asked, blindfolded with rage.

"No" she said.

"It's called, pretending to be asleep and the fact that I just got a shot yesterday." I growled

"For what?" she asked.

"For having a run-in with a rabid dog a few weeks ago." I growled, "Gibson just wanted to make sure I didn't get rabies, and according to his diagnostics, which I did get a chance to see, it was an aggressive one with an ability to have a sudden bounce back." I finished softly,

"Then why were they so aggressive to that one Shugazoomian?" she asked.

"They?" I asked, "As far as I know, the only one that's been mean towards a Shugazoomian is Nova. Then again, she had good reason to, he was grabbing her up and throwing her and calling her names and completely violating her personal space, privacy and rights. I'm not saying that he deserved it but he did make a tough alibi to be sympathetic towards. The other monkeys would never even dream of hurting humans." I said.

"I guess they kept you well sheltered from their daily activities then." she said.

"If there is any human that knows those monkeys, it's me. They were all really open to everything, the only one that I had to pry anything out of was Antauri. That was really only because he meditates 24/7 though." I said

I glanced up at her face, "What are they going to do to the monkeys?" I asked.

"Sorry Chiro, that's classified and I don't even know, all I know is that it's classified." Mary said.

"Would you tell me for a million bucks?" I asked

"Sorry Chiro, I really don't know." Mary said, "Now, there is one good thing though, you have an adoption interview set for the day after tomorrow."

I did not eat that night and the sun came too early for my likings. I forced myself to get up and come to the dining hall, nearly getting sick halfway there. There was a terrible ringing in my ears. I saw my twin brother, Brandon, at a table, eating and talking to some of the other orphanage kids. I found an empty table and sat at it, forcing down food that I did not want to eat.

Brandon and his group moved to the table I was sitting at, I froze up as they took seats around me. "So, what's it like to be an orphan again?" Brandon asked.

I didn't look at him, I fiddled with my fork instead.

"Okay, so, um… do you know exactly why you're here again? I mean, what was up with the monkeys? Why'd they get taken away?" he asked

I looked up, my chest was heavy from his questions, finally I spat out the best answer I could find, "I don't know."

Brandon looked at me, "And that answer applies to which question?" he asked.

"All of them," I mumbled. I stood up and threw my paper plate, along with the food on it, away. I walked back to the room I was supposed to reside in.

Something was gone, I could feel it. I leaned against the wall and could feel a sudden tightness in my chest. I knew, I knew that feeling, that awful painful feeling. I had felt exactly the same way when Antauri passed away the first time. I struggled to force myself to walk towards the bed in the room. As I neared it, I gained a dizzy feeling and passed out onto it.

Hours later, I awoke to being shaken by Mary. She had a queer look on her face. My expression was blank, having pocketed a few extra hours of sleep and putting prior events behind me to believe them a bad dream had made me numb to the team's capture. "Chiro" she said. I looked up at her.

"There's something you need to know," she began softly, "The monkey team has been euthanized."

I was quiet for a moment, finally my voice rushed forward like lava, "What!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

I sat up abruptly, and wished that I had not heard what I thought I had just herd.

"Are you okay?" she asked

I turned away, half of me in utter shock and the other half in complete disbelief. I knew that she had said what I had heard. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I can't believe it! I thought, They killed the monkey team! They killed them!

She looked at me and walked out of the door.

My mind broiled, they think that they could grab the family I found, out from under me and just replace it, what idiots. I took the day to think about it and near the end, took an oath of silence. They killed my family and therefore a part of me, therefore I would not speak ever again. I would voice my displeasure with Shugazoom with complete silence and a barrier of distrust.

The next day and the adoption interview came, I did my best to evade getting adopted but Mary's words overpowered their decisions, they chose to believe that I would become better with time.

Time passed and I held tightly onto the distrust that Shugazoom had instilled me. We started to see doctors, psychologists, therapists. None of them helped me see past the horrible incident. They only helped me to realize that I had become an outcast, a prisoner in a lost body. A roaming spirit in this dead body.

It's been over two years since the incident but I can still remember it like yesterday. The looks on their faces, all of it. Every so often I'll find myself crying at night and every so often I'll make a small peep to make sure I haven't truly lost my voice yet. There are nights that I'll write a letter to the team, to let them know that they are missed.

I know they watch over me from above, as everyone says they do, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm lost. Maybe when I go above, I'll be found.

For now though, I'm lost.


A/N: OK everyone, R&R please (I've been working on this 6K+ story since October of '08) Please, don't flame...It's not nice...(constructive critisism appreciated)