Saturday...March 24, 1984. Forks High School, Forks, Washington.
Dear Mr. Vernon...we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and the criminals. Correct?That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed...
At 7:00 in the morning on a Saturday like no other, six children discovered themselves. At first they sat in little groups; the jock and the princess at one table, the brain by himself, the basket case by herself, and the criminals at yet another table. Mr. Vernon walks in, he's the superintendent of Forks High School.
"Well well, here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time..." Vernon says.
"Excuse me sir?" Interrupts Rosalie, the princess. "I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here..." Unperturbed, Vernon continues to speak.
"It is now seven oh six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways." Back at the criminal table Emmett sits back in his chair spits into the air and catches it back in his mouth. Disgusted, Rosalie groans. "and you may not talk. You will not move from these seats." he looks back at Emmett and Alice, the two criminals. "And you will not sleep." he looks them both in the eyes, to which Alice roles hers. "We are going to try something different today, essays. No less than a thousand words each describing to me who you think you are."
"Is this a test?" Emmett asks.
"And when I say essay I do mean essay, not a single word repated a thousand times. Is that clear McCarty? Brandon?"
"Crystal." Emmett and Alice reply at the same time. Alice gives him a patronizing smile.
"My office," vernon points to the double doors sealing their freedom. "is right across the hall. Any monkey business is ill advised. Any questions?" he asks.
"Yeah, I got a question." Everyone turns to the back of the room, revealing the basket case, Bella.
"She speaks!" Emmett says. Bella smirks.
"Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" Everyone but Vernon laughs.
"I'll give you the answer to that question, Miss Swan, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young lady, you'll get the horns." Then he leaves.
"That man is a brownie hound." Emmett leaves. "But a much appreciated attempt Swan. I'd say you're one of us now, regulars." Bella's eyes widen and she gives out a squeak, hiding her head in her hands. "And we're back to the squeaking and no talking stage." Emmett says.