Well thanks to the fact that this is in the crossover section, it's been getting a lot of publicity. Thanks to all of you who thought it was funny. For those who care, sorry this is short, but I have a short attention span or something because I can not write something long. This chapter contains references to family guy, just as a heads up. For anyone who cares, International Police will be updated by wednesday. I may also continue Toy Soldiers 2867, but I'm debating whether I have the time, though I am touched people actually like it.
Chapter two: In which the Sues try and kill the homicidal droid, and other clichés are pointed out.
In a secret room of Hogwarts that wasn't the Chamber of Secrets, a large group of figures were having a meeting. (A/N Seriously is it me or is that just one huge ass cliché to have yet another undiscovered room? Oh, and it isn't the room of requirement either, that's too overused.)
"We must destroy this new threat… preferably before the author losses interest in this fic and decides to just kill all of us and to have the canon characters live happily ever after" said the seductive female voice of a Mary Sue. (A/N I'm also tackling bad grammar.)
"How long until the anti-Sues are killed? (A/N anti-Sue in this case means a character that is intentionally created as weak and ugly so as not to be Mary Sue/Gary Stu)" asked the overly masculine voice of a Gary Stu.
"Dude, if I smoke this I like can totally do magic" randomly blurted a character from a fic that's only plot is that everyone does drugs and is happy and hippie ass crap like that.
One of the priests from the Da Vinci Code immediately killed him because it went against the bible. Then some anarchist Stu killed the priest because he hated anything that resembled organization. Then an average Gary Stu killed him because he just liked to kill things.
Mary Sue quickly recovered from the randomness and pointed out the obvious by saying "Wow that was random."
"Not as random as the times I've been in a fight with Ernie the Giant Chicken" Peter Griffin appeared out of nowhere.
"Oh no!" Said Mary Sue as she realized their secret place had been discovered and their wards fooled.
"Oh no!" Repeated Gary Stu.
Suddenly one of the walls was destroyed by the Kool-Aid Man who shouted "OH YEAH!"
"Fuck these family guy references!" Gary Stu yelled as he pulled out his Tommy gun and shot both Peter Griffin and the Kool-Aid Man.
"Damn, why couldn't you have killed the vile woman?" asked Stewie
"You know what, if Voldemort was beaten by a baby, shouldn't an evil baby genius be able to defeat HK-47 and replace the entire canonical cast of Harry Potter?" asked Gary Stu.
"You know what, that makes so little sense it just might work." Agreed horrible judgment Stu.
"Eh fine, why not, half of us are immortal, what the hell do we have to lose?" Said an unidentified character.
"Statement: you have your lives to lose that's what!" Shouted HK-47 as he ran through the hole made by the now deceased Kool-Aid Man. He then fired his disrupter rifle at all of those in attendance. Despite the fact that Hogwarts had wards to protect against apparition, all of the Sues and Stus in attendance quickly escaped.
"Victory shall be mine!" Stewie yelled as he pulled out a ray gun. However HK-47 had an energy shield and absorbed the shot.
"Statement: it is a pity you are canon, it means I have to set to stun." HK-47 said with remorse for the lack of violence as he sent a stun round to the homicidal baby.
"Copyright infringement: In another universe I might have called you friend." HK-47 said as he realized that the small meatbag might actually have been a good friend (A/N in the event you don't understand it, HK-47 is copying a famous line from Star Trek)
Meanwhile at the Hall of Justice (yeah that's right the Sues and Stus took over the Hall of Justice) an all seeing prophet was watching the story unfold. He then got bored and switched to a pirated copy of Blazing Saddles.
"Damn, need to get ready for my other fic!" he shouted as he saw the time.
For anyone who doesn't know, Blazing Saddles is a western spoof which is fairly funny if you can get over the usage of the n word, and the breakage of the fourth wall. Well it's 1:24 in the morning and I'm tired as hell.
signed the good dr.